4 Ways Loving Your Spouse Benefits Your Kids

If you’ve been visiting Happy Wives Club for some time, you probably already know Keith and I do not have children. And you also know, that’s certainly not due to a lack of trying.

Parenthood simply hasn’t joined us on our journey of life but we still hold out hope.

I mention this because the times I’ve published contributor posts about parenthood, I’ve immediately received notes from happy wives who were not mothers and felt left out.

If that is you, feel free to click the link above for a post I wrote on this recently. You can also read one of my favorites on this site for encouragement in this area, Happy With My Family of Two.

And if you are one of the many included in this community with children, this post is especially for you.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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My sweet six-year-old daughter, Bella, approached with a folded color sheet in her hand and a twinkle in her eye. “I made something for you and Daddy!”

I opened it and found a picture of Cinderella and Prince Charming. Bella giggled. “You and Daddy kiss like that!” Joy beamed from her face.

I’ve been married for almost twenty-four years, and I do my best to love my husband for our sake . . . but I’m just starting to understand how loving my spouse—in front of my kids—benefits my kids too!

4 Ways Loving Your Spouse Benefits Your Kids

Displayed love gives our children stability. Our three young kids love to see John and me kiss, and it makes sense. We are their world. The stability of their home, their future, and their peace depends on their dad and me. John and I love each other. We display that in many wonderful ways when our kids aren’t around . . . but our kids need to see our hugs and kisses too. They find stability from that. They find peace from that.

Displayed love gives our children a pattern to follow. Kids live what they see. They will approach relationships the way they see us approaching them. What does a healthy relationship look like? They will understand this by seeing it in us. Love—they will discover by watching—is more than just hugs and kisses, but also kind words, helpful gestures, and tender care in other numerous ways.

Displayed love will help your children understand gender differences. Men and women are different and unique. John and I display our love in front of our kids in different ways. John often grabs me up in the kitchen and gives me a big smooch. I show my love by words of respect, cooking a nice meal, or offering to run an errand for him.

When our kids see love displayed differently by their mom and their dad, they start to understand how genders complement each other. This doesn’t mean I never grab John up for a kiss, or John never cooks a meal for me (they both happen), but generally we show love in different ways.

Displayed love will help your children see the value of marriage. In a world that says marriage is an out-of-date concept and living together is now the norm, love displayed between parents is real-life evidence to the contrary. Children grow to see marriage as something to plan for and desire.

Having a positive attitude toward marriage will change a million little decisions along the way as they grow. It’ll impact who they date, how they date, and what they look for in the people they date. It will impact how they live out their marriage (even that oft times tough first year). Our children will set a higher standard because they’ve seen what to aspire to in your marriage.

YOUR TURN: What about you? What additional ways do you think loving your spouse benefits your kids? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.

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Tricia Goyer

Tricia Goyer is a USA Today Bestselling author of 35 books who's traveled the world and interviewed everyone from crusty old cowboys to World War II veterans to discover the true stories behind her historical novels. She co-wrote her newest book, Lead Your Family Like Jesus, with NY Times Best-selling author Ken Blanchard. Tricia's a mom of six, avid blogger, and mentor to teenage mothers. You can find out more about Tricia at www.triciagoyer.com or listen to her radio podcast at: www.toginet.com/shows/livinginspired