The Greatest Gift of Marriage Can Be Most Clearly Seen in Tough Times

Yesterday, I sat balled up on the couch, nauseous, and wanting nothing more than to go to go to bed and remain there all day.

It was a tough day.

Hormones pumping through my body, a combination of Clomiphone and estrogen. Our third fertility treatment would happen tomorrow so excitement abounded. But first, I needed to get through the nausea of the day.

As always, there he stood. My knight in shining armor. My best friend in this life. There he was to encourage me, to hold me in his arms. To remind me that everything happens for a reason and although our journey to parenthood has been a long and windy road, it’s all been worth it.

We’ve grown from the challenge. With every failed pregnancy test, we’ve reassured each other that if it is meant to be it will happen.

When we weren’t sure if having children on our own was possible, we decided to adopt. When we met the pregnant mother of our soon-to-be adopted daughter, joy filled our hearts.

Months later -after the baby’s room had been painted a beautiful shade of jasmine yellow, plush carpet we’d spent time rolling on in the store was installed, and the sturdy hand-me-down baby crib from our godson was brought- the child’s mom decided to keep her child at the last moment.

We were stunned.

We all drove to San Diego -Keith, me and Keith’s parents- to go to the doctor with the woman who was carrying our soon-to-be adopted child. We were excited to see the ultrasound of the baby we would soon be taking home. Instead, we returned to Los Angeles with empty hearts, following a call from the agency to advice that the mom had decided to keep the baby.

It was her child to raise. We respected her decision. And then resumed our attempts of conceiving with the help of a fertility doctor.

Now, a couple of failed attempts later, I sit on the couch writing this post full of hope. I am hopeful that the child I’ve longed to have for more than 16 years, has been conceived. When the doctor looked at all the healthy eggs my ovaries released today (thanks to the added hormones), he assured us that we’ve got a great chance of a child coming alive in my stomach this month.

I don’t know what will happen. I won’t know for several weeks if this fertility treatment worked. What I do know is no matter what happens, Keith and I will just keep trying. And while we’re trying, we will continue loving.

We’re a team. Sometimes we win. Sometimes we lose. But whatever we do, whatever we experience, we do it together. Every desire, every hope, every dream – they are ours to desire, hope and dream together. And if we weren’t meant to have children -that is God’s decision to make not ours- we decided long ago that we would be perfectly happy with our family of two.

There are many wonderful things about marriage, but this remains my favorite: having a partner on this road called life. This is, I believe, the greatest gift of marriage. And although tough times may cause us to grapple with some loses, as long as we do it together, we will prevail in the end.

The journey is, at times, full of ups and downs, twists and turns, winding roads and potholes. But we’re on this journey together. We are a team. We will win together. We will lose together. And in the end, if we can remain a team, we will be victorious.

If we can remember that two are better than one and a team in sync will always win, child or no child, we will succeed. In the end, for those who stay the course, you always win.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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THE BOOK For other secrets of couples happily married, and how you can be too, make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book. I traveled to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to figure out what makes marriages happy. It’s a marriage book line none other you’ve read before. I guarantee it.

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).