Unforgettable: Remaining Uniquely YOU

Oft times, at wedding ceremonies you’ll hear the officiant reference the “two becoming one.” I love that. To think that two people raised with completely different upbringings and polar opposite personalities have this remarkable ability to forsake so much in a pursuit to become one with their spouse. What an amazing gift for those who succeed.

Unfortunately, many misunderstand this statement. They misinterpret this biblical verse. They think fading into the backdrop or somehow morphing into their spouse is what it means to become one. As an incredibly strong woman with a very distinct personality (my husband is somewhere reading this and saying, “Amen!”), I thank God that is not what this means. When I was thinking recently about about the two becoming one, I immediately thought about Nat King Cole.

Do you remember the year Nat King Cole’s daughter, singer Natalie Cole, released the album of duets with her father? Decades after his death, she remastered his songs to sing an album of perfect duets. The title track, “Unforgettable,” is not one which will be soon forgotten. Their voices complimented each other in every way. They poured their heart and soul into each song, but they were clearly different. Distinguishably separate. They sang as one, but they were clearly two.

I think about the lemon and orange tree in my backyard whose seeds were planted so close together the tree trunks grew side-by-side and almost look as though they are completely intertwined. It is difficult to figure out where the orange tree begins and where the lemon tree ends but they clearly bear two different fruits. The lemons are never quite sour and the oranges are rarely perfectly sweet. But we love them because they remind us of how unique it is for two fruits to combine as one, while remaining uniquely and wonderfully separate.

There are so many keys to enjoying life and loving yourself just as God intended you to me. One of those is to never stop being exactly as you were created to be. Your husband is meant to strengthen you, sharpen you, challenge you and make you a better person in every way, shape and form. But he is not here to eclipse you. He is not here to become you. And you are not here to become him.

Your husband married you because of something special he saw in you. He was drawn to your uniqueness. Don’t lose that in the pursuit of “becoming one.” Compliment each other. Build each other up. Don’t become one another. I have a friend who says, “If two people are just alike, then one of them is unnecessary.”

Be you. Be unique. Be unforgettable. And allow your husband to fall in love with you again and again…just as the day he first said, “I do.”

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).