The Problem With Marriage Cynics

It’s a fascinating thing. When a woman falls in love with a wonderful man, we all rally around and make her excitement our own. When she becomes engaged, we clap, we cheer, we smile and tell her she’s the luckiest girl in the world. She holds out her ring finger and we inspect the hardware and spend hours fawning over it.

Almost immediately, the wedding plans are underway. Bridesmaids and groomsmen are selected. The maid of honor and best man are told of their new honors. Wedding colors are chosen and a venue selected. For months, sometimes even years, the ceremony and reception are planned with painstaking detail. No stone unturned, no “t” not crossed and no “i” left undotted. We tell the bride how lucky she is to be getting married.

Then something changes. Almost instantly. From the moment she says “I do,” so many around her become cynics. They warn of all the challenges she’ll face, how difficult it will be and how much “work” marriage will require. In what seems like the blink of an eye, the love everyone told her she was so lucky to find, is the same one she’s being warned will one day cause her pain.

And therein lies the problem with marriage cynics. Somewhere along the road of life, their eyes have been blinded to love and their hearts jaded by hurt. They build a woman up during her dating and engagement years just to turn around and tear her down as soon as the minister has given her groom permission to kiss the bride.

In this (above) televised Mobbed engagement proposal seen around the world, millions watched in amazement with tears swelling in their eyes. It pulled at heartstrings -more than 15 million of them- because most people, even in this day and time, still love a good love story.

So what causes a person to change from marriage advocate to cynic? I wish I knew this answer. Maybe you do. But what I’d ask, for everyone’s sake, if you’re one of those who feel the need to “warn” a newlywed of all the challenges she may encounter along the way, please don’t. Support her, encourage her, challenge her to be a better wife, but do not set her up for failure. Do not plant seeds of discord. Give her hope from the very beginning that true love still exists.

This, my friends, is the best wedding gift you can ever give a bride…and her groom.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).