Tag Archives: how to cope with stress

7 Ways to Turn Your Husband’s Bad Day Into a Good One

7 Ways to Turn Your Husband’s Bad Day Into a Good One

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7 Ways to Turn Your Husband’s Bad Day Into a Good One

Do you ever wish you could wave a magic wand and solve all your hubby’s problems in one magical swoop? I know I do.

Even though I still haven’t found that magic wand, I have learned to collect tips and advice to add to my “how to cope with stress” toolkit so I can whip out that healing hammer whenever my husband is having a bad day.

Here are 7 easy ways to help turn your husband’s bad day into a good one. :

  • Give him space  - When your husband has challenging days at work as often as mine does (his role requires frequent audits), you learn that some days he needs to talk and other days he just needs to turn on the Playstation and blow up some bad guys. Tell him, with words, that you are there for him and for anything he needs, then let him choose what would help the most.
  • Focus on the Good – If he is in the mood to talk, after he vents and lets the day go, find things to celebrate – even if it’s chocolate chip cookies for dessert or his favorite show on TV that night. The little things that make us smile can go a long way to cheer us up. Remembering how much we have to be thankful for is always a good idea.
  • Say Thank You – Thank him, for all his hard work and everything he does for you so that you can have a home together. Gratitude is a powerful force and when you shower it upon your husband, it has the power to instantly lift his mood and make him feel like the king of the world. And we all know hubbies love that, right?
  • Make him laugh – Don’t worry, you don’t have to be a comedian to do this, you can watch his favorite comedy on TV or funny videos on YouTube. For any Seinfeld fans, there is a hilarious guy on Twitter who writes tweets as if Seinfeld was still on the air. He tweets things like: “George tries to hide that despite seeing every episode he has no idea what’s happening on Game of Thrones. Elaine buys defective yoga pants.” You can find him here.
  • Touch Him – Hold his hand, hug him tight, squeeze his knee when you are watching TV. Whatever way he likes to be touched – use the power of touch to connect and soothe. If he asks, “Why are you touching me so much?” Tell him you just read an article (yes, this one!) that said the University of Illinois studied NBA basketball teams and found that the more on-court touching there was early in the season, the higher the teams scored by the end of the season. If it works for the NBA, it works for the Wifey in my book!
  • Flirt – Remember how he loves to feel like he is the king of the world? Well that’s not exactly true. What your husband loves is to feel like he is the king  of *your* world. Flirting is the most direct, most fun way to convey that to him. It’s also a way you get to have fun, make him laugh and touch him at the same time. It’s a triple whammy of deliciousness. In fact, you should do that even when he’s not having a bad day, don’t you think?
  • Just listen – Okay, ladies, this may seem obvious but I know there are a lot of you like me out there, looking for magic wands to wave and problems to fix when all our husbands need is just our love and listening ear. No matter how tempted you may be to find 5 potential solutions to his problems, stop, look at his beautiful eyes, focus and just listen.

QUESTION – These are 7 of my favorite ways to help my hubby on those stressful days. What do you do to help your husband cope with stress? Please share your tips in the comments.

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5 Simple Steps to Reducing Stress this Holiday Season

5 Simple Steps to Reducing Stress This Holiday Season

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5 Simple Steps to Reducing Stress this Holiday Season

On Wednesday, when I sat down to write 7 Ways to Create a Stress-Less Marriage During the Holidays, I had no idea HWC contributor, Kim Hall, was writing this post.

As soon as I received her email letting me know this post had been written, I knew we had a series in the making.

Kim usually writes over at TooDarnHappy.com but when she guest posts here for us, I’m the one who is usually to darn happy.

I trust you had a beautiful Thanksgiving holiday, and hope this new HWC series will help usher in a holiday season filled with less stress and more love.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

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The Christmas season ought to overflow with peace, joy, and love.

Too often, however, it is overshadowed by stress and irritation at the towering pile of “to do” post-it notes and lists.

I want to encourage you that there is a simple solution though: P-E-R-C.

E-R-C stands for Eliminate, Reduce and Cope, and it’s a strategy I learned from Melissa at Whole 9 Life.  I later added the P, which stands for Protect.

Behind it is a simple and powerful principle of making intentional choices that respect your time, money, and relationships.

Here are five simple steps to reducing stress this holiday season:

1.  List everything you and your spouse can think of that you love, want, or are required to do: Gift giving, attending parties and events, mailing cards, etc.  You may need a calendar to keep track, especially if you have children in school.  Seeing the events on a calendar can be a powerful visual to help make decisions!

2.  Make a first pass and categorize everything with a P, E, R, or C.

Melissa describes the process:

Identify those you can Eliminate, those you could Reduce and those you must simply Cope with. Consider evaluating time, money and accepted obligations all at once; you may be able to eliminate or reduce more stress than you believed. (For example, if cleaning the house on your day off is a big stressor, consider revising your budget to hire a cleaning service. If you’ve accepted too many social requests, prioritize one or two that are the most important to you, and beg off the rest. They’ll forgive you, and you really can’t afford to take on any more right now.)

Protect, of course, is for those to-do’s that are a real joy for you, such as Family Tree Trimming Day or a Christmas Eve service.

This process may take more than one pass as you negotiate the sometimes choppy waters of guilt, pride, obligation, and finance on the good ship Compromise.

If you get stuck, create a Pro and Con list to help guide your decisions.  You can also ask yourself: Would I enthusiastically add this to my seasonal events if it wasn’t there already?

3.  Create a master list and/or calendar of the items you choose after going through this P-E-R-C process.  Creating the master list with your spouse allows you to put in writing what you will do and what he will do, allowing you to successfully divide and conquer.

4.  Find reasons to be grateful for the Cope items.  Intentional gratitude will help these items pass more quickly and joyfully, as opposed to responding with cries, criticism, and complaints, which will magnify your annoyance. Need help getting to grateful? Start here.

5.  Savor the season. :-)  Remember there will still be busyness, as well as obligations that aren’t exciting, but intentionally choosing how to spend your time and being grateful for everything will ultimately reduce stress and increase joy.  And really, isn’t that what we’d all like a little more of this holiday season?

 Question: How will you use P-E-R-C to help reduce stress this holiday season?

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