Tag Archives: great sex in marriage

Transform Your Sex Life in One Easy Step

Transform Your Sex Life in One Easy Step (yes, even you!)

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Transform Your Sex Life in One Easy Step

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know I rarely write about sex. Unlike fabulous sex expert, Sheila Wray Gregoire, I generally stay away from this particular topic.  

Sheila loves giving advice on topics like increasing your libido and the benefits of making love for women.  So I’m more than happy to defer to her expertise.  

And although I’m by no means an expert (I just happen to really enjoy making love to my husband), I am happy to share with you the one thing that personally helped transform my sex life.

Something so simple you may not even realize the profound impact it can have on your sex life.

I got in shape.

I know…sounds too simple.  It may even sound like something more beneficial to my husband than it is for me.  But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

My hubby loves my body in all its shapes and sizes.  He reminds me of a quote I once read from Trisha Yearwood regarding her husband, Garth Brooks’, reaction to her major weight loss:  

“He said, (I’m paraphrasing here) ‘It’s my favorite size on you.  And the only size I like just as much is whatever size you just were.’”

That’s my husband.  He’ll never mention to me that I’m picking up weight (not even the time I was so busy at work I had the chef bake me chocolate chip cookies throughout the day and every time I’d pass through the kitchen I’d grab a few) nor suggest I lose any.

But I’ll let you in on a personal secret.  Whether he notices or not, when I’m out of shape, I am fully aware that some of the noises my body makes while having sex are most certainly not of the erotic kind. And they are distracting, if not to him, most certainly to me.

I never expected for one of the greatest benefits of me getting in shape to be added confidence in the bedroom.  Maybe it’s the cerebral part of my brain but if my mind drifts while we’re making love (even for a second to think about my muffin top or jiggly backside), it’s hard to reel it back in.

As women, one of the most challenging things to do at the start of making love is to remain in the moment; not allowing our minds to wander to items left undone, our to-do lists, or what the kids might be doing.  This particular challenge, I may not be able to help you with; that’s a matter of training your mind to fully enjoy the present. But I can at least help you with the part that involves your body.

The next time you’re making love, if a thought about your size or tone causes your mind to wander a bit, this one I can help you with.  Try what worked for me to quickly amp up your sex life.  And for great tips on toning any problem areas, try this super simple advice from a fellow happy wife, Olympian, and mother of two.  

If getting toned isn’t an issue for you, but you’re looking for something to kick your sex life up a few notches, I highly recommend Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman.

Years ago, I read Dr. Leman’s book in hopes of finding suggestions for a friend struggling in this area but instead found myself ripping Keith’s clothes off by the end of the book. Now, whenever a friend confides in me their struggles in the bedroom, within days they receive a gift in the mail from me…this book.

I should also add this. My husband also realized the same thing. When he’s making love to me and isn’t in shape, it doesn’t feel as good because he’s self conscious about what’s going on in the mid-section. So he does the same thing when he’s feeling a bit unattractive in that area. And I should also say this: I love him in all shapes and sizes. He makes my toes curl no matter what. But I do love that he makes he effort, just as I do, to be in the best shape -mind, body and soul- as me so we can live as long as possible…and make love for as long as we’re given the ability.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

the argument free marriage book

 

THE BOOK: Read the book that inspired the powerful TED talk and prompted author of The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman, PhD., to write the book’s foreword. Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott, bestselling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts said, “We’ve been counseling couples and writing marriage books for a long time, and we can say with absolute certainty, there has never been a book quite like The Argument-Free Marriage. If you think no such union exists, or if you’ve come to the conclusion that arguments are necessary in marriage, allow Fawn to challenge that notion and set you on a path to creating the greatest partnership in life: your marriage.”

4 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life Today

4 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life…Today!

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4 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life Today

I have spent the past four years interviewing and surveying thousands upon thousands of happy wives and one of my greatest discoveries was how minimal the difference is between what makes a happy wife and what makes an unhappy one.

The two greatest distinctions are these: 1) Assigning a greater weight to all that is right about one’s spouse and marriage while assigning a lesser weight to what needs improvement; and 2) A mastering of the basics…consistently.

So often, we find ourselves looking for “the next best thing” in nearly everything.  

We hop from diet to diet, instead of sticking with the time tested, science backed plan of input versus output.  Burn off more calories than you eat.  It’s as simple -and as difficult- as that.

When it comes to sex in marriage, so often we’re looking for earth-shattering advice that will revolutionize our sex life.  But sometimes, what we need is to return to the basics and to master those.  

For many of us, the “spice” we’re looking for can be found in what we’ve previously discovered.  For others, what you’ll read today might be brand new information.

Either way, I’m hoping this post by HWC contributor, Andrea Cairella, will help you heat up the bedroom (or any room in your house you deem worthy ;) ) tonight.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Do you want to spice things up in the bedroom?  Well you are not alone.  Typically couples say they have sex 1x per week, but statistics show that actually 15% of couples have sex every 6 months to a year. And since a sex life is an important aspect of a fulfilling  and satisfying marriage -both for men and women- let’s talk about 4 spicy sex secrets that can ignite a spark in your bedroom.

  1. Rekindle the Old.  If it has been a while since you have had sex it is helpful to reconnect with the basics. Do you remember the pleasurable hugs, caresses and kisses you shared with your partner when your relationship began?  One way to ease your way into rekindling the intimacy and connection is to spend a few minutes hugging each other until each of your bodies relax completely. This allows both of you to let go, get out of your head and connect with your physical body.

    David Schnarch author of the Passionate Marriage writes the following about sex in marriage, “Discovering the untapped potentials within even a simple hug expands your opportunities for a deeply fulfilling sexual connection.”

  2. Focus on the Sexual Journey.  Instead of focusing on the orgasm as the main goal, task or objective, I recommend focusing on the present moment, becoming mindful and attuned to your body sensations, making eye contact with your partner and connecting with your breath. This helps with reducing anxiety and feeling closer to your partner.
  3. Spice Things Up. Once you have the two basics down you can take it up a notch and incorporate the next suggestions. You can have a make out session like when you were a teenager or massaging each other with or without your clothes on.  If you would like to expand your current sexual borders, you can read books on sex enhancement, try a tantric sex course or try a new sexual toy to enhance the quality of the sex in your marriage.
  4. Manage Negative Beliefs or Judgments. If you have negative beliefs about your body image you can begin doing affirmations such as: “I am beautiful and sexy” to counter any negative thoughts that get in the way of grace and self-love.  Be willing to connect with your sexual essence by being playful, creative, spontaneous, open and vulnerable.  And if any negative beliefs about the topic of sex get in your way, you can begin challenging those negative beliefs and redefining what sex can mean for you in the present and future of your marriage.

With love and gratitude xxoo,

Andrea

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JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

the argument free marriage book

 

THE BOOK: Read the book that inspired the powerful TED talk and prompted author of The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman, PhD., to write the book’s foreword. Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott, bestselling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts said, “We’ve been counseling couples and writing marriage books for a long time, and we can say with absolute certainty, there has never been a book quite like The Argument-Free Marriage. If you think no such union exists, or if you’ve come to the conclusion that arguments are necessary in marriage, allow Fawn to challenge that notion and set you on a path to creating the greatest partnership in life: your marriage.”