Best Marriage Advice for the Newly Married

My Husband and I have been married for more than 29 years now. We married young, me 18, he was 22. I would have to say that the best advice I could give is that life is full of ups and downs so make sure that the other knows you’re there with them through it all…..even when they may be the cause. You might disagree but love and respect each other enough to make sure the other knows you will be there!

I’ve been happily married to my husband for just over 24 years now and looking forward to our silver anniversary next summer! Life throws you good and bad as you go along …marriage is a work in progress and it gets more interesting and challenging as children come along. Whatever you do, never lose focus on God in your marriage and never, ever give up! Pray through every little thing you deal with and pray for your spouse….God is strength and peace…let Him carry you through good times and bad. Keep the communication lines open and be honest and gentle with one another.

My husband and I got married 30 years ago. I told him I wanted to get married, not have a wedding, and he was fine with it. It’s a very personal experience and I didn’t want to share it with anyone but him. No one in the family was happy when we told them we were going to the courthouse to get married and no one was invited.
My best advice for those about to get married/newly married: Follow your hearts and don’t worry about what other people think. Thirty years later no one cares anymore that we chose to share our vows only with each other.
The best marriage advice I can give you is to never, ever, not for one second forget that you are a couple and that couple needs just as much nurturing as a child does. That child will grow up and leave, but your husband will still be by your side. Don’t look up one day to find you have nothing in common with this person and wonder who that man is that you married.
Lastly, say I love you often, be free with hugs and kisses, hold hands, and say thank you for doing one of those annoying chores we all hate.

The one thing I would encourage a newly wed couple with is that there is no reason you ever have to leave the honeymoon phase. In other words, entering a marriage is a joyful and wonderful, life changing event. It doesn’t have to become stale. My husband recently started a new job, and I don’t know the context of the conversation, but my husband told me his co-worker said to him, “There’s no way you could be that happy after being married that long.” Oh, but there is!

Which leads to my one piece of advice: be intentional in everything. In communication, in dates, in having fun, in extending forgiveness, in admitting when you’re wrong and biting your tongue when necessary. Don’t believe a happy marriage just happens. It’s a choice we make. It banks on lots of little decisions as much as it does the big ones. Put your spouse first, above yourself. Amazing things happen!

My husband and I are coming up on our 25th anniversary. My best advice to a Christian woman beginning marriage is to expect that your husband is going to be wrong… at least some of the time. Shocking, I know. Submission in marriage means pointing out when you think your husband is making a wrong decision and giving your advice, but then being willing to support him if he disagrees with you. Learning that there’s a time for giving advice and a time for “taking orders” is key to making your marriage work biblically.

My husband and I have been married for 29+ years. We’ve had a few rough times in our marriage, usually because we took each other for granted. Best advice I could give to newlyweds is communicate with each other, and Agway’s be respectful of one another.

I’m one of the fortunate ones. After 31 years of marriage, my pulse still quickens and my heart pumps harder when I’m with my husband, Ed. It’s not hard, though, to love him. Everywhere I go, the women all love him and the men find him slightly silly and sappy.

I don’t know if it’s because he once cooked me a heart-shaped meatloaf for Valentine’s Day, or rented me a convertible for a day to drive to “no where”, or rowed me around the lake in Central Park on my birthday; he just knows how to make the special days memorable.

But when it comes down to it, it’s the everyday things that endear Ed most; drawing us closer as the years go by. Each morning starts with freshly ground, whole bean, prepared the night before, brewed coffee. And after we leave for our respective occupations, the occasional “I’m just thinking of you” call keeps us connected. These “ordinary” gestures are reminders of his daily thoughtfulness.

In addition, he is not ashamed to say he loves me; often. Or that I am beautiful; and I instantly feel so. He begins each day whispering in my ear a quiet, drowsy-eyed, “Good Morning” – good to begin a new day together – and ends each one with, “I hope I see you tomorrow” – because we both know, first hand, sometimes tomorrow never comes.

And even more often, Ed’s actions speak louder than his words. The way he looks at me, unexpectedly reaches for my hand, or softly pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. He can speak wordlessly to me from across a crowded room with just a wink. He has cried for me, sighed for me and prayed for me. He tickles, teases and spoils me. When life gets me down, he knows how to turn my up-side-down, in-side-out fears and emotions into calmness; always there with a listening ear and an understanding heart. In his arms I feel secure, enclosed in warmth.

As a result, many a hug has cheered me and convinced me to go forward. It is because Ed has such a selfless attitude that he is able to bring out the best in me. And his kiss…..well, it’s bliss. For me, Ed is like a ray of sunshine and I like the flower that leans towards him. Naturally then, we often sing, “You are my Sunshine” to each other.

In this age of liberation for women, I like it when he holds the door for me or carries the groceries into the house. I consider him a gentleman when he pulls my chair out at a restaurant or offers his hand when stepping out of the car. Chivalry isn’t dead with Ed.

Together, we tackle chores around the house. There are no “his” and “her” lists because we are a team. As a result, often, Ed washes the dishes while I tackle the bills, he throws in a load of wash, I lay down the lawn fertilizer. Our lives revolve around each other. Although we have our separate interests, we always consider each other when making plans; it is a courtesy that has grown out of mutual respect.

Perhaps all this is possible because Ed is comfortable with himself. As a result, he freely shares his feelings and isn’t afraid to laugh at himself. His humor and silly side keeps me laughing. We’re not just partners in a journey. We’re friends who share smirks and giggles. This side of our relationship allows us to continue our “courting” throughout life.

A few years back, Ed announced that Friday nights are official “date night”. Together we have had picnics in our bedroom, tea parties by the lake and stargazed in the grass. We compete in bowling, Monopoly and chess. We dine for two with only candlelight, combine pizza and a movie or just eat ice cream for dinner.

Since our children have grown up and gone their respective ways, I am often asked if I have experienced “empty nest syndrome”. And I always answer, with a smile, that I will never be an empty nester… because I’ll always have Ed.

It hasn’t always been this easy. Married at 18 and 23, most of our friends and family didn’t think we’d last. Labeling us as too young and immature, they were sure we would be a statistic in no time. But they underestimated our commitment to each other. Then we added four children to our home. Sneakers, sports and college tuition kept our funds just above our earnings. But we always remind each other that we are fortunate. We have love and health; everything else in life is a bonus. Early on, as a joke to keep us going, Ed would ask me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And I’d always answer, “Eddie’s girl.” It was our mantra and made us smile.

The old cliché “Opposites attract” is true for us. Ed is a laid back, “whatever happens, happens” spontaneous kind of guy. His clothes lay where he takes them off, he reads several books at once, and his schedules don’t include looking at a watch. On the other hand, I am methodically driven, time obsessed and structured. Although we have had to learn the game of “give and take” over time, being with Ed is like being with the other half of myself. The side that needs to slow down and enjoy this beautiful life we have been blessed with.

That is why my favorite time of day is when we arrive home after work and share our day with each other. Whether we’re snuggling on a rainy day, catching the last rays of sunlight on our deck or walking around the block, talking with Ed helps me put things in perspective. In fact, at times, it seems we tackle and conquer the problems of the world.

In fact, I’m convinced if there were more of Ed to spread around the world that it would be a better place. Often you can tell how kind a person is by the way they react to small children and animals. Ed is not above getting on the floor, making funny faces or blowing bubbles with the youngest child in the house. And the birds in “our neck of the woods” are ceremoniously fed. Ed keeps a watchful eye on the feeders and provides ample birdhouses for nesting; true signs of a compassionate individual.

Yes, our life together is a comfortable one. If I had the opportunity to exhort the young-to-be-wed, I would tell them they can also live a love story if they put “Communication”, “Respect”, and. “Commitment” on their priority list. With these three ingredients, love falls into place. Naturally.

I’m so grateful to share my life with this man who is so willing to give me such a big part of himself. And, of course, you know by now, that I’ll always want to be Eddie’s girl.

Love is a a verb not a noun. It takes action. Our choices determine our actions. You have to choose to love, it is not a feeling, it is an active choice. I chose to love my husband through many trials over 24 years, you cannot quit when it gets tough, you only lose if you quit. So my advice is to choose each other, forgiveness, and commitment through your marriage. Always put your husband’s needs above your own, serve him with the heart t of Christ, and when he chooses to do the same, things stay balanced. However if he doesn’t at times, you still do your part and serve him, be Christ’s mirror and let His love shine onto your husband through your actions.. It will change things… Never Never quit… You only lose if you quit…

So, we’ve “only” been married for 13 years, but I’ve had the pleasure of working with a lot of fantastic couples at Engaged Marriage. First of all, I’d tell any newly married couple CONGRATULATIONS on finding the person you’re excited to spend the rest of your life with – it will be an amazing ride.

My advice would be to remember that love is a choice you make every day. In other words, the infatuation you feel right now will eventually wear off, and that’s totally okay and natural. But that doesn’t mean that your relationship should be any less exciting or fulfilling…it just means you’ll have to put forth the effort to keep it that way.

Invest in your marriage and enjoy every day together!

Dustin

Married for 32 years. Your husband cannot read your mind. No matter how simple something seems to you (how to properly load the dishwasher, how to dress the baby, how you like to be touched), it doesn’t mean he knows what your expectations are. He’s probably more than happy to do them “your way” but he will need to be told what that is. Don’t chastise him for doing them “wrong”…encourage him and teach him what you like. He wants nothing more than to please you. Don’t make it difficult. And the more you serve and try to please him, the more he’ll want to do the same. It took me a long time to learn these things.

We’ve been married 42 years & almost 6 months. My advice? Be best friends. Do lots together. Laugh lots. Love more. Tell each other that you love them OFTEN. We say it at least 3 times every day.

I have worked with the elderly who have been married for decades. I’m always surprised at the stories of the not so perfect times. I used to think that the couples that lasted never went through hard times. It’s reassuring to know that even though me and my husband do not have a perfect marriage we can have a lasting marriage full of love. One year of marriage down, decades go for us. <3

Married 24 yes 6 months. Still learning new things too. My advice is die to self. Put God first and spouse second. You will avoid a lot of conflict this way. Communicate! Tell your husband your needs. Do little things. Randomly text or hide love notes. Tell him you appreciate his working hard to provide for you. Do fun things to surprise him when you are in the mood for intamicy. If you have no kids in the house strip down, put on your coat, sneak out the back door, ring the front door bell and flash him when he answers. Keep mystery and fun in your marriage.

Married ONE year and THREE months! Its been a beautiful gift to have a true lover and best friend, who walks WITH me on the path. We have fussed and overcome. WE are building trust from all the junk of the past and working to create a lifelong journey of US. There is no place more comfortable and sexy than in his arms….

The 27th of this month it will be 44 years for us. My husband is a pastor and has been for a very long time. Just the other day, after a funeral, one of the youth came to us and said “When I get married I want a marriage just like yours” THAT was the best compliment ever.
We love and like each other and don’t keep it hid. We hold hands all the time and smile at each other. And every now and again share a kiss in public. Don’t keep it hid behind the door of your home. Let others know! Especially if you are a christian. People see enough smut from hollywood. Let them know that God has ordained and approved of you having and sharing a loving marriage.
Show respect…..love…..honor…..serve each other with a happy heart!

I have been married for 7 years – a newbie in this group! (but an old married couple by Hollywood standards, hahaha)
When we first got married we took lots of classes and workshops because neither one of us wanted to “mess it up” my favorite piece of advice was the simplest – Remember that you create your relationship every day. Every day.
It’s not just the ‘big moments’ – in fact those are rarely the most important ones – it’s checking in every day, listening, making time for each other and not leaving each other for last on the to-do list. That idea that you create your relationship every day has been the umbrella for all the other things we do to water the seeds that bloom into a strong tree with deep roots.
Yes, we have date nights (and at home dates) and flirt, and help each other with our goals, dreams, work projects, etc. but everything comes from that core idea. It’s the things you do every day that matter – not the things you do once in a while.
LOVE THIS POST and seeing so many examples of strong healthy marriages. I did not grow up with that (my parents were divorced) and I think it’s SO IMPORTANT for people to see what is possible – because a peaceful, loving world starts with a peaceful loving home.
I firmly believe all of us are little revolutionaries in our own lives, taking a stand for love and compassion so what we do at home matters, not just to each other, but to our greater community.
Thanks Fawn! for everything you do that helps marriages flourish!

The advice that has carried me happily through over 23 years of marriage is the 90:10 rule:
If you feel like you do 90% of the work and your spouse does 10%, you’re actually about 50:50. Why? Because it’s easy to see what you do, and you don’t always notice what your spouse does.
There is a very important corollary: If you don’t feel like you’re doing 90% of the work, you aren’t doing enough!
What’s amazing is when both of you are trying to do the 90%, you will really value each other. Granted, we all have down days, which is why striving for that 90% is so important, because one picks up where the other falters. Trust me, both of you will falter from time to time. True love comes through service, so don’t forget to serve the one you love. I read a great quote the other day: Choose the one you love, then love the one you chose.

My husband and I were married June 2014 and we are constantly hearing yall are too young, just wait, etc. I am 20 and my husband is 22. We were high school sweethearts and at first I never thought we’d last but slowly he wiggled his way into my heart and now 6 years later I have been happily married for 5 months now. We have our struggles but we work through them and never go to bed angry. I believe we can make it as well as all the newlyweds out there. Always remember communication is key