“There is no greater risk than matrimony. But there is nothing happier than a happy marriage.” In 1870, the British Prime Minister, Benjamin Disraeli, penned the above quote in a letter to Queen Victoria’s fourth daughter, Louise, upon the announcement of her engagement to a “common” man. Although Princess Louise’s engagement outraged most of the royal family she knew exactly what she wanted and she was determined to get it. In this moment, the royal princess showed she was fearless.
When reading the biography of Princess Louise’s life, there is one thing that stands out most: she adored her husband and she loved being married. During a time when marriage was entered into for duty rather than love, the princess decided duty to the people and the kingdom was not good enough. She would marry for love and love alone.
Getting married can be a bit scary. It is undoubtedly risky business. And to a certain degree, not even a good risk as divorce statistics give each marriage a 50/50 chance of succeeding. Nearly half of marriages end in divorce, so what separates the 50-percent who succeed from the 50-percent who do not? In my opinion, it is fear…or rather the lack thereof.
Love, in its intended and most perfect form, is fearless. When I say ‘perfect,’ I do not mean it is without fault. I am not implying it is without hurt, frustration, doubt or is guaranteed sans tears. When I refer to perfect love, I am referencing the kind of virtue that will cause a man to leave his father and mother and be joined to one woman for the remainder of his life. The same emotion that causes a mother to run in front of a speeding car to save her endangered child’s life or gives a wife the adrenalin to lift a car that is crushing her husband. It is the type of love which causes a woman to forsake all others and cling to one man.
The love in which I speak is one that has stood the test of time and will continue to stand steadfast against the onslaught of negativity surrounding marriage. The type of love which conquers fear is the same kind that causes marriages to flourish. Perfect love does not focus on what could be lost but solely on what has been gained. It stands in the face of critics and those who would dare challenge its existence and declares, “Til death do us part.’”
The freedom that comes from loving without fear of loss is what allows us to open our hearts to experience a fullness of joy, happiness and physical pleasure in marriage. This love…a perfect love…is expressed in the lifetime commitment that began the moment we said “I do.” On that day, we looked fear square in the face and dared to defy it.
This year, when observing your wedding anniversary, don’t just commemorate the day you were married. But celebrate the moment in which your love conquered fear.
Until Monday…make it a great weekend!
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