I’ve heard this idea many times before but never quite like this. Dot & Ken, the South African couple I enjoyed dessert and tea with while in Cape Town, told me about a daily ritual they have that seemed pretty cool.
Each morning when they awake, Dot goes to open the window shades before the sun rises while Ken goes to make a pot of coffee. They return to the bed and have what they call their daily “board meeting” while watching the city lights turn on.
During their board meeting, they sip coffee and discuss their upcoming day and the significant things that happened the day before. They both work long hours and have hectic schedules so this is a time of reconnection for them. It allows them to give each other a brief download of what’s going on in their individual lives.
I’ve heard a similar ritual from many of the happily married couples I’ve interviewed over the past couple years. Miriam & Efi, married 37 years, sip port and have appetizers every night for this same purpose of connection. Marie and Nick, married 59 years, get together every night around 6pm for ‘cocktail hour’ where she’ll most oftentimes sip on a glass of Sauvignon Blanc or vodka and grape juice (dirty martini on Friday nights) and he’ll enjoy a glass of vodka tonic while discussing matters of the day. They talk about everything from their business, to the kids, to family and friends.
This daily time of connecting and sharing is intentional. They each set the time aside to do it. Not only does it strengthen communication and the marital bond, it builds trust. When you spend time each day sharing with your spouse what you did, allowing him to share what he did that day and what your upcoming schedule looks like, something amazing happens. You get to know what’s going on in each other’s world.
There is just something about knowing what’s going on in the life of your spouse when he’s away from home that builds trust, and vice versa. It’ not the main purpose of this daily connecting time, but it is certainly an added bonus.
Question: Do you have an intentional daily time of connection with your husband? If so, why do you think it’s important? If not, is it something you think you can begin building into your schedule?
If you’re happily married and haven’t taken the time to join the Club, make sure to join us today. It takes only seconds and, of course, it’s completely free. Until Monday…make it a great weekend!
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