Like every couple I’ve met along this journey around the world in search of the secret to a happy marriage, Pat & Henry of Cape Town, South Africa, have remained great friends over the 47 years they’ve been married. Early on in their marriage, they made a conscious choice not to sweat the small stuff. And according to them, it’s all small.
Henry tells me he and Pat decided long ago that tomorrow is never promised so they would never carry a disagreement into the night. It simply wasn’t that important. Those who take a disagreement to bed with them, they tell me, make an unwise and presumptive decision.
In order to allow yourself to go to bed angry with your spouse, Henry says, you have determined you will wake up the next day and be able to continue in that disagreement (or argument). You assume your spouse will wake up next to you. But what a tragedy it is, they both point out, if your spouse were not to wake up the next morning. The memory you’d be forced to live with for the remainder of your life is not the great times you had together but rather the last thing you did or said. It is a regret likely to stay with you until the day you pass away.
I could continue this interview with Pat and Henry for the next week and never tire of hearing them speak or watching them interact with one another. But unfortunately, it’s time for me to move on to the next country. Johannesburg, here I come!
Question: Think about the last disagreement you took to bed with you. How would you have felt if your husband did not wake up the next morning and that is the memory you were left with for the rest of your life? Would it be worth it?
If you’re happily married and haven’t taken the time to join the Club, make sure to join us today. It takes only seconds and, of course, it’s completely free. Until tomorrow…make it a great day!
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