Improve Your Marriage: #4 – Respect His Fathering
This post is a part of a series we began last week, 101 Ways to Improve Your Marriage. I asked thousands of
members of this Club what ways they’d suggest for improving one’s marriage. The many responses we received is what has -and will continue to- shape this series.
If you’re already a ‘Happy Wife,’ make sure to Join the Club. If you are working toward becoming more fulfilled in your marriage, this series is definitely for you. If your marriage is all you ever hoped or dreamed, this series is also for you because we always have room for improvement.
4. Respect His Fathering and Leadership
What a tricky, tricky subject. But with Father’s Day fresh in our minds, I’d be remiss not to include this important suggestion. From the time most of us were young girls, we had mothering on the mind.
In my case, I had seven Cabbage Patch dolls, all of which I considered my children. As I got older, I babysat as often as possible and had this amazing ability to make any child stop crying. To say I was a baby whisperer would be an overstatement but to say I was born with maternal instincts would have been an understatement.
Most men on the other hand, grew up playing with Tonka trucks, trains, wrestler toys and anything “macho.” If they were born with a paternal instinct, that would be incredibly rare. It’s just the way we’re wired. Whenever I see a 5-year old girl in a store pushing a toy baby stroller around with their doll in it, I’m reminded of this fact.
What comes natural to us, men have to take the time to learn. In many instances, they’ll need our help. But in some cases, they must find their own path to parenthood. Their style of fathering may be different from your style of mothering. As a matter of fact, that is likely the case. But allowing your husband to be a leader to his child is important. It’s crucial to your children’s development and it’s critical to your marriage.
Men, with all their strengths, have many weaknesses. Pride and ego seem to be innate characteristics. They need pats on the back. They need to be told they’re needed, desired, loved. In this regard, they are far more fragile and needy than we are (although they will likely never say it). They need to be told they’re a good dad. And they need to be given the ability to father their children.
He’s going to make mistakes in parenting. Probably even more than you. But it’s important to your marriage and important to your child. It’s a matter of trust. It’s a matter of honor.
Until tomorrow…make it a great day!
Comments: With more than 38,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook
Fawn Weaver
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