7 Marriage Practices Worth Perfecting

By Lori Byerly on Friday, September 20, 2013

7 Marriage Practices Worth Perfecting

Marriage blogger, Lori Byerly, has been supportive of the Happy Wives Club from the moment she came across this site a couple years ago.  

Earlier this year, she shared a great activity to help us get even closer to our spouses (loved that idea).  Now, she’s back and helping us take our marriages up another notch.

Practice makes perfect, right?  At the very least, it makes things better and better the more we practice.  

In marriage, you know I’m all about being happy and remaining in love til’ DDUP (death do us part) so you better believe I’m doing a whole lotta practicing.  Join me :) .

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

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When I was a little girl, my mom insisted that I take piano lessons. Honestly, I sounded pretty bad. I was just learning to read music and I played a bit too loud.

Over the years I got better and better. By the time I was in high school I was a pretty accomplished musician.

The interesting thing is, I was probably average when it came to natural ability. What I had going for me was my willingness to practice and then practice some more. 

The more you do something, the better you get at it.

That concept has gotten me through a number of situations where I started out poorly or with very few clues. This is especially true of my marriage.

I didn’t have any great models growing up and I probably have average ability on the marriage-o-meter.  I’m just willing to practice and then practice some more.  

Here are 7 marriage practices worth perfecting:

Practice Kind Words. Learning to speak with kindness? It’s a day by day choice. When you flub up, back up, apologize and say it nicer. You might even try doing a filter check before letting the words slip between your lips.

Practice Saying Yes. A new technique in the bedroom? It’s bound to feel awkward the first few times, but how fun it is when it becomes more natural and it’s something to look forward to. (I have to admit it’s a major rush when you can routinely wow your husband).

Practice Generosity. Giving without expectation. That is oftentimes one of the most challenging parts of a relationship. But it is also one of the most freeing. Being generous doesn’t have to take a lot of work. Kiss your sweetie 10 seconds instead of 2. It’s the little things that matter most.

Practice Marital Success. One of the smartest things couples can do is to mirror their marriages after couples successfully married for decades. Do you know a couple happily married for more than 25 years? They’re a great place to start. And if not, there are 50 inspiring ones here.

Practice Listening. Hearing your husband’s heart? Ask a question. Listen. Ask another question. When you find a good question, hold on to it. Husbands can change over time, so the adventure never ends.

Practice Loving…Even Better. Which one of us could say we have no need to be loved a little more? Is there even such a thing? When you practice loving your spouse….even better, the most wonderful thing happens: They return the love.

Practice Teamwork. Teamwork makes the dream work. My husband and I have teamed up for years encouraging married couples.  Paul’s site, The Generous Husband, and mine, The Generous Wife, have been two of the greatest blessings of our lives. Never underestimate the power of teaming up on everything from little to out of this world.

Never let a clumsy start scare you off.  It’s just the start of the process that will get you to accomplishment. Keep at it. Practice and practice some more.

The more you do something, the better you get at it.

QUESTION: What practice have you gotten much better at over the years that has made your marriage even better?

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Lori Byerly

Lori Byerly is the author of The Generous Wife blog and co-founder of The Marriage Bed. She lives with her husband in the beautiful Northwest (USA), enjoying life with family and friends.

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  • http://NewMamaDiaries.com/ Tenns Reid

    I’d say patience is a must! Being patient with your spouse, encompasses nearly all of the above.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Oh, yes. Absolutely! What’s the best way to practice that would you say?

      • http://NewMamaDiaries.com/ Tenns Reid

        I would have to say for me, its picking your battles and biting your tongue. Stopping to take a second and see if what you wanted to say or do, really needs to be said or done. Also, being willing to lookover shortcomings. Understanding that even though someone might be your soulmate, that they’re not perfect. Sometimes its the little things we let go of, that keeps the big things in order, but patience has to exist for this to be the case.

        • Lori

          So true. Being willing to take a breath and think things through before you speak or act can make all the difference

          • Tammy

            I just go called out on this by my friends and husband and all though my marriage is still new( 6 months on the 23 of Sept). I am very blunt with everyone but finding out fast that is not going to work if I planned to stay married.

  • la

    Does overlooking shortcomings include infidelity?

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Absolutely not. That falls well outside of the “practicing” area and squarely into counseling to determine possibility of reconciliation. Have you and your spouse considered marriage counseling to get to the root of the cause of the infidelity?

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