7 Practical Ways to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great

By Courtney Joseph on Monday, October 28, 2013

7 Ways to Make a Good Marriage Great

Here is one of the things I love most about this club.  We run the gamut from women in powerful corporate positions to stay-at-home moms to entrepreneurs to women pursuing every passion project imaginable.

When I first met Courtney Joseph, I was amazed at how much she loved being a stay-at-home mom.  And I mean she LOVES it!  

The pleasure she gets out of doing the dishes, folding laundry and cooking dinner, is the same pleasure I get from being an entrepreneur.  

When her husband comes home, it’s usually to a clean house with dinner on the table.

When my husband comes home, it’s more often than not to a “straightened up” house (if I get to it before him) and I’m a master “take out” chef.  

How we take care of our homes couldn’t be more different but how we love on our husbands is exactly the same: Just the way they like it!

Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a corporate raider, this post has wisdom for us all.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Back in November of 2009, I was featured on the Rachael Ray Show.  I was not featured because I had some depth of wisdom on marriage but rather I was “Exhibit A” of a “Happy Wife”.  Their producers zeroed in specifically on how I shared that it was a joy for me to take care of my husband. 

They sent a camera crew to my home to record me cooking, cleaning and taking care of our children with a smile.  It certainly didn’t feel television worthy, but to Rachael Ray, I was an anomaly.  During our interview, she sought to understand how a girl with a college degree could find fulfillment in this.  She even went so far as to ask the audience, with a show of hands, how many found this offensive?

This will only be offensive if you are comparing your marriage to my marriage.  But since you are unique and your husband is unique; then you have a unique marriage.  It’s important that we learn what works best in each of our own marriages as we seek to please our own husband and no one else.

Here are 7 practical ways to take your marriage from good to great.

  1. Tell your husband you like him!  This is different than just saying you love him.  It can be so habitual to say “I love you”, that it loses its meaning.  But truly does he know that you like and enjoy him as a person?  Have you told him lately?
  1. Praise his good decisions.
  1. Be gracious with his bad decisions.
  1. When you disagree with him, discuss it in private – not in front of the kids or friends. The respect you give him will draw him nearer to you.
  1. Work toward not being critical of your husband – compliment him. Your husband married you because you made him feel wonderful.  Continue to make him feel this way.
  1. Listen –- every husband is different. Open your heart and listen intently to his frustrations,     worries, and fears.
  1. Kiss him like you mean it!

This list takes a lot of selflessness and you may feel like your husband will never reciprocate – but a great marriage with deep intimacy doesn’t happen overnight. It takes practice and developing healthy habits that enrich both of your lives so you can reap the blessings that God desires for you and your marriage.

So do it — try number one right now!  Text, email, facebook or tweet your husband and tell him you like him.  

Then when you see him next – praise him for a good decision he has made. Surely you can think of at least one – he married you right?  That’s a good decision!  He will walk two inches taller. 

Proceed to numbers 3, 4, 5 and 6 and trust me – he’ll LOVE number 7 and I bet you will too if you are practicing the first six.

Need more encouragement in your walk with God, marriage, parenting and homemaking?  Then join thousands of women who have begun the journey through my newly released book titled, Women Living Well: Finding Your Joy in God, Your Man, Your kids and Your Home. Don’t forget to download your free Companion Study Guide >> here <<.

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Courtney Joseph has been married to her high school sweetheart for 16 years and classically educates her son and daughter at home. She is the founder of WomenLivingWell.org and WomenLivingWell.tv where she has nearly 1 million views on her YouTube channel. She is the author of The Proverbs 31 Woman: One Virtue at a Time and Women Living Well: Finding Your Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids and Your Home.

Latest posts by Courtney Joseph (see all)

 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are snarky, offensive, or off-topic. If in doubt, read My Comment Policy
  • http://www.modernmarried.com/ Maggie Reyes

    I love this! So many simple things we can do that have such deeply profound effects in our lives, our relationships, our self esteem and our hubby’s. Sooooo good! I especially love #1. I am always telling my husband, “you are my favorite person.” XO

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Me too, Maggie! There is definitely no doubt in my hubby’s mind who my favorite person is in the whole wide world :) .

  • Nesrine Ahmed

    Love it there is some stuf I always do like send massage from my phone to tell him how much I love him or ask god to protect. Him & that’s work .

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      That’s great, Nesrine.

  • Tajsha Navarro

    Courtney, I’m a big failure of numbers 1 through 6. And I’m sorry for it. I’ve been seeking encouragement for right thinking and came to your blog by God’s grace. A book that helped turn me around was Created to Be His Helpmeet, which I read a few months ago. I told my husband he was worth my effort to change my thinking by changing my behavior. I will become masterful at 1 through 6 because I have a good God who gives good gifts and is busy making me into the image of Christ everyday. Thank you for serving me by serving Him. You are a blessing to me.

    • Mindy

      I agree-that book changed my life. I have decided that not everything in it is totally right-or even approachable but there are some amazing nuggets of wisdom there;)

      • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

        I’ve never heard of this book. What did you like most about it?

  • pam parker

    Such a good message. We say I love you all the time, but it’s that little extra that makes a difference. I’m going to make more of an effort with the extras. I’m horribly sick, so no #7 just yet, but 1-6 are game on. ☺️

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Game on! :)

  • Annette

    Such wise advice! This shows that its the simple things that we do (or should) do daily that mean the most. I have been blessed to have been married to my husband for 29 1/2 years, have 5 children (2 still in high school) a son and daughter-in-love, 3 grand babies (yay), we have battled cancer (I just finished chemo this summer), 4 deployments to the desert (hubby’s in the Air Force Reserves). After all these years and the many things we have gone through….we still work at keeping our marriage strong by implementing these examples. Another thing I’d like to add, for other military wives or if one or even both splices has to travel for job related purposes, when my husband deploys we pray at the same time together every day, taking into account time zone changes.
    Annette

    • Annette

      Oops, how about ‘spouses’ instead of ‘splices’
      Annette

    • Jen

      Oh my goodness! Your idea of praying at the same time even when separated just melted my heart! Thank you so much for such a simple, yet powerful idea!

      • Brooke

        Ditto! Love it too :) Thank you for sharing Annette

      • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

        Ditto here too! Thanks, Annette. Love this (going to use it :) ).

  • Tammy

    OMG!!! I knew I was drawn to this sight for a reason. I love this statement <>

    I love the one size does not fit all structure of this site. It allows you to be you and for our husbands to be them and yet find ways to make your marriage the best marriage it can and should be. I am new to the marriage game (only married 7months) but I know what I don’t want in my marriage and I know it is truly about a happy wife but that happy part comes from me not seeking all of it in my husband to make it happen. Therefore I am a happy wife with a happy life.

    • Tammy

      Okay do not know what happen above but the part I loved was

      “This will only be offensive if you are comparing your marriage to my
      marriage. But since you are unique and your husband is unique; then you
      have a unique marriage. It’s important that we learn what works best
      in each of our own marriages as we seek to please our own husband and no
      one else”

      • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

        Loved that too!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Congratulations on your first 7 months – yeah!! Yes, a once size-fit-all barely works in clothing sizes so it definitely doesn’t work when it comes to marriage :) . So happy you found us.

  • Rose

    Thank you for writing this material. I’ve been married to my high school sweetheart for 48 years. Sometimes it wasn’t so fun but looking back it was sure worth keeping it together. Keep up the good word/work there are lots of people out there that need you. God Bless.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Married to your high school sweetheart for 48 years? Wow! What’s your secret?

  • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

    Congratulations on your new book, Courtney. May it open the minds and hearts of many and bless a multitude of relationships! I love your simple and powerful points. Practicing them does make for a happier marriage.

    I was shocked that Rachel Ray asked if anyone was offended. What a sad statement on the general state of marriage that it even occurred to her!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Wild, right?

  • http://www.trueagape.com/ Cassie

    I am working on #3- having a grace filled marriage. I thought I did a pretty good job of it, but I have realized there are a few areas that I still need to work on!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Progress…not perfection. You’ll get there :) .

  • Stephanie F

    Ah I’m so happy to read this. It’s nice to know that we can all take care of our homes/family in different ways and it’s all good :) My husband is just so much better than me at cleaning and getting stuff done in the house. Thank goodness I’m a great cook!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Oh my goodness, yes! We’re all so different but most marriage principals are the same so we’re able to learn from one another.

  • Laurel Shaler

    I appreciate what Fawn has to say. I am not a mother. Not a home-maker. Not a homeschooler. (AND a product of public education! LOL) But, I am a Christian. And I am a wife. And I want to build community with these women regardless of whether we are stay at home moms or not…or even moms at all. I do love and support all life and am an advocate of orphan care. Thank-you for being here.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thanks, Laurel! Sounds like we have alot in common. What I love about hearing from those who have children is if one day I am so blessed, I’ll be better prepared (or at least I’d hope :) ).

      • Laurel Shaler

        I hear you! :)

  • Adrienne

    I am sad to always read “how to” articles that boil down to: do all the work. I know Pinterest is mostly women but the “top heavy” amount of posts on happy husbands and improved marriages are TWO WAY streets. I do like the ideas and encouragement but would like to see the other half of the article be about what husbands can do to improve the marriage, too.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Hi Adrienne! Don’t be sad, that’s a good thing. Change only happens when we focus on ourselves and it is our changes that influence change in others. We can’t change anyone else so I focus on the readers of this community (which are pretty much all women). That being said, there are great sites out there for men like The Good Men Project and great sites for both spouses like Engaged Marriage. If you visit sites that are written for men, or both, you’ll likely find the articles you’re looking for. In this instance, there are very few men willing to brave the pages of a site with “Wives” in the title :) . Make it a great day1