5 Things I ‘Know for Sure’ About Marriage

Media tycoon and Super Soul Sunday host, Oprah Winfrey, has a column in her magazine called “What I Know for Sure,” something that began on her popular daytime talk show years ago.

I remember the first time I heard her mention, “What I know for sure,” and thinking, “That’s a pretty cool concept,” and wondering what it is I know for sure.

After spending the past three years researching the topic of happiness and what it takes to create and cultivate a happy marriage, there are a few things I can say with complete certainty.

There are consistencies in the habits of every happily married couple I’ve interviewed from Winnipeg to Capetown to Auckland and that each would attest to as being reflective in their marriage.

In the end, I do not consider myself an expert.  I do my darndest not to offer advice.  I am, however, a lifelong learner; a studious listener.  

In my observations and studying of happily married couples (including my own), here are 5 things I ‘know for sure’ about marriage:

1. Effort and consistency are not an option.  The happiest couples I’ve interacted with over the years, more than I can even count, all have this in common.

2. Friendship is essential. For a lot of married couples, as they began their life together, their personalities and various traits start off pretty far apart (hand raised in the air here).  Then over time, the distance between their various differences begin to shrink.  True friends accept each other’s differences and love you into becoming your best self.  This is why friendship is something marriages cannot flourish without.  

3. Laughter is paramount.  Crack a joke.  Any joke, any time a day, and just laugh together.  Don’t take yourself too seriously. Those happily married can joke about each other’s shortcomings, quirks and idiosyncrasies without getting offended. 

4. Happiness is not based on external circumstances.  Contrary to popular belief, scientists and psychologists have long proven that genuine happiness is not based on external circumstances.  Genuine happiness is something that must be cultivated.  Making a moment-by-moment decision to see the glass as half full is not by luck or coincidence; it is by choice.  

5. Teamwork makes the marriage work.  A mantra often quoted in the corporate and sports worlds is teamwork makes the dream work.  What I’ve discovered in my own life, and the lives of the countless couples I’ve interviewed, is this is even more true when it comes to marriage.

Question: What positive thing do you ‘know for sure’ about marriage?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

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