Love As If You Don't Have Tomorrow

Love As If You Don’t Have Tomorrow

A large burgundy chair sits empty in Sandy’s home. That was Jim’s chair. I met Sandy online. She’d joined HWC and captured my attention immediately. In her first interaction with the Club, she asked if a widow could join the Club. She recalls receiving such a warm welcome from the members. Many posted notes assuring her she was welcome. And in return she’s never stopped pouring out words of wisdom.

She knew the secret to a happy marriage. I was certain of it. She knew the key to promising to be together until the very end and keeping that vow. I learned she lives in San Diego, California. Just down the coast from me. It’s one of the most beautiful coastlines in California. The ocean breeze can be felt anywhere within 20 miles of the beaches.

After a beautiful drive, it was time to meet Sandy. She immediately began speaking about her late husband –his calm and steady nature, his patience, his support, his love for his family. “I don’t want you to think I’m speaking of him so highly because he’s dead.” I assured her I did not. “I would speak of him the same way if he were sitting right here next to me.”

So what is the reason she was able to hold on to such a loving relationship through the very end , I asked. How did they manage to keep their love so strong that she still regularly sat on his lap after 50 years of marriage (and after she’d picked up quite a bit of weight according to her)? She shared many. Most of which I will share with you tomorrow as this post is getting really long.

Divorce was never a thought. No consideration was ever given to a plan B.

One of my favorite quotes comes from an American actor, Will Smith. Regarding his continuous success in films and business he said, “I don’t have a plan B, it distracts from plan A.” In a later interview he expounded upon that, “Even contemplating a plan B necessitates a plan B.”

The reason they very rarely argued, listened to each other sides and if they couldn’t come to an agreement together just calmly agreed to disagree, is because they never put a pressure on themselves to resolve an issue immediately. As far as they were concerned, they would be together forever so an agreement could be reached over time. They were never so invested in their position they weren’t willing to consider the other’s opinion.

All in all, they loved like there was no tomorrow. Treated each other with kindness like it might be the last day they’d be able to extend it. And as they found out much sooner than Sandy was ready, tomorrow is never promised so love with all your heart today.

Question: Do you sometimes “sweat the small stuff”? How do you think looking at every conversation with your spouse through that lens of “this next moment is not promised” might change it?

If you’re happily married and haven’t taken the time to join the Club, make sure to join us today. It takes only seconds and, of course, it’s completely free. Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).