Invictus: How It Relates to Your Marriage

As I continue my journey around the world in search of the secret to happy marriage, I just can’t seem to keep my thoughts from returning to South Africa. So many great lessons learned there about marriage, as well as life.

Madiba, as Nelson Mandela is known locally, is the most beloved man in South Africa by whites, blacks and coloreds alike. Prisoner number 46664, as he was known for 26 years, is revered and respected; he is a legend. He is honored for his unconquerable strength, unquenchable hope and disciplined humility.

When I watched the movie about him, Invictus, I wondered how I could relate to the poem that carried him through those years while not forsaking my trust in God? ”I am the master of my fate,” it reads. ”I am the captain of my soul.”

Ever since seeing the movie a couple years ago, the second half of the final stanza of that poem has continued to weave through my mind for no apparent reason. It wasn’t until recently that I fully understood those lines as it relates to my own life.

God gives me choices throughout my lifetime. Do I walk through Door A or Door B? If God closes a door, do I attempt to pry open the window? When God says no, do I attempt to turn that no into a yes by ignoring that two-letter word I heard so clearly it was almost audible? Is that why these couples I’m interviewing are so happy in their marriage? Is that why I’m so happy in my own?

If happiness is a choice, as they all believe it to be, is a happy and loving marriage but a series of choices made over the course of time? A determination to wake up each morning and to not allow any challenges that arise in the outside world to affect what goes on in their home.

In addition to the issue of respect, another great similarity between all these couples is their acceptance of responsibility. If something is wrong, they talk about it, they look for a solution, they make it right. They don’t look to jump ship, they figure out how to plug the holes allowing water into their own vessel. They intently choose a life of happiness daily, irrespective of what may be going on around them.

Question: How do the daily choices you make in your marriage affect it, for better or for worse?

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).