Improve Your Marriage: #4 - Respect His Fathering

Improve Your Marriage: #4 – Respect His Fathering

This post is a part of a series we began last week, 101 Ways to Improve Your Marriage. I asked thousands of members of this Club what ways they’d suggest for improving one’s marriage. The many responses we received is what has -and will continue to- shape this series.

If you’re already a ‘Happy Wife,’ make sure to Join the Club. If you are working toward becoming more fulfilled in your marriage, this series is definitely for you. If your marriage is all you ever hoped or dreamed, this series is also for you because we always have room for improvement.

4. Respect His Fathering and Leadership

What a tricky, tricky subject. But with Father’s Day fresh in our minds, I’d be remiss not to include this important suggestion. From the time most of us were young girls, we had mothering on the mind.

In my case, I had seven Cabbage Patch dolls, all of which I considered my children. As I got older, I babysat as often as possible and had this amazing ability to make any child stop crying. To say I was a baby whisperer would be an overstatement but to say I was born with maternal instincts would have been an understatement.

Most men on the other hand, grew up playing with Tonka trucks, trains, wrestler toys and anything “macho.” If they were born with a paternal instinct, that would be incredibly rare. It’s just the way we’re wired. Whenever I see a 5-year old girl in a store pushing a toy baby stroller around with their doll in it, I’m reminded of this fact.

What comes natural to us, men have to take the time to learn. In many instances, they’ll need our help. But in some cases, they must find their own path to parenthood. Their style of fathering may be different from your style of mothering. As a matter of fact, that is likely the case. But allowing your husband to be a leader to his child is important. It’s crucial to your children’s development and it’s critical to your marriage.

Men, with all their strengths, have many weaknesses. Pride and ego seem to be innate characteristics. They need pats on the back. They need to be told they’re needed, desired, loved. In this regard, they are far more fragile and needy than we are (although they will likely never say it). They need to be told they’re a good dad. And they need to be given the ability to father their children.

He’s going to make mistakes in parenting. Probably even more than you. But it’s important to your marriage and important to your child. It’s a matter of trust. It’s a matter of honor.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).