Communication 101: Stop, Look & Listen

I recently came across a website that reminded me of something Keith and I always try to do to ensure we ease into discussions rather than crashing into arguments. The first thing we do is: Presume innocense. The second is to: Stop, Look and Listen.

On the Department of Transport website for the UK, there’s a series of interactive games for kids on this very topic. “If you stop, look, and listen, the scars you’ll be missin,” is the header on one of the games.

The first page shows a little boy about to cross the street. It allows you to decide if he “stops, looks and listens” and if you choose that he doesn’t, he walks into a road and is hit by a car and carried several feet ahead until his body is dropped and he’s bruised from head to toe.

Now, our government in the US would get sued by more organizations than I can imagine if it tried to create an animated game like this but it certainly got my attention. And then it made me laugh out loud thinking about the fact that this was on a government transportation site.

I laughed so hard I began to do this snorting thing I can’t seem to stop when something really cracks me up. On the “Safer Place to Cross Game,” the tagline reads, “Cross the road where it’s safe ‘cos legs in plaster really chafe!” Love that British humor.

On a slightly milder UK government site, a different game begins by showing two different road options, one going straight and one curving to the left, “Which of these is the safer place to cross?” When I chose the straight road, I received a happy face, “Very good! Always cross where you can see the traffic coming both ways. A straight part of the road is good for this.”

Communicating with my husband is not too dissimilar from this. If I know what I’m dealing with, can be reasoned rather than emotional, listen and ask questions to better understand, rather than thinking of my defense or response, our conversations always go much smoother. So every time I find myself at a conversation intersection with my spouse, I always remember to stop, look & listen. And I’m always grateful I did.

QUESTION: What is the best advice you’ve ever heard on how to successfully communicate with your spouse?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).