Author Archives: Fawn Weaver

About Fawn Weaver

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).

The #1 Way You Can Help Your Husband After a Tough Day

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There is no denying our hubbies often have tough days at work. And these days, more so than ever before, their days are getting longer and more stressful.

But we can help.

Even for those of us who work outside of the home, and have our own work-related challenges, our days tend to be less stressful.

One reason is we know if we ever lost our job (or decided to make a career change), our husbands would move heaven and earth to make sure our families remained fed, clothed with roofs over our heads.

We are nurturers by nature. They are protectors. It is those varying traits that allow us to best support one another.

As a protector, one of the most wonderful things my husband does for me is keep the world at bay; he will only allow me to carry so much weight on my shoulders at one time.

As a nurturer, one of the most loving things I do for him is to make sure he feels at rest and peace in our home.

So what is the #1 way you can help your husband get over a difficult day on the job?

Shhhhh…

No, I’m not insinuating the answer to that question is a secret. That is the answer.

As women, most of us tend to be far more talkative than our male counterparts. It’s our nature. But oftentimes, the most loving thing we can do when our husbands have a difficult day is say nothing and just offer our arms as a place of refuge.

I must admit, I’m still working on consistency in this area. A couple months before Keith and I were married in 2003, we visited a friend in San Antonio. While in the car she asked Keith a question I’ll never forget, “I just counted 6 times Fawn gave you unsolicited advice. Does that bother you?” Ouch.

The humility in his answer is one of the many reasons I love him to pieces, “No, I actually love it when she gives me advice. Unsolicited or not, I value her opinion.”

While I was grateful for his support in that moment, and thankful he didn’t seem to mind this subconscious action on my part, I also recognized this could potentially cause conflict years down the road. From that point forward, I made a concerted effort not to give him unsolicited advice.

The beauty is, because he respects my opinion, he asks for it often. There is no person he trusts more than me and no opinion he esteems greater than mine. But here’s the key. When I know my hubby has had a tough day, I wait for him to ask.

After a tough day on the job, what your husband often needs most is your warm embrace and silent understanding. You can ask him for more details about his day later, but for now, don’t be afraid of a little silence.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

5 Reasons You Should Have a Marriage Mentor

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Mark Twain once said, “No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”

Although my love feels pretty doggone close to perfect, I have to agree with Twain.

Once you’ve been married that long, you know how you will respond to nearly every challenge life throws your way. You’ve been tested and come through the fire like pure gold.

This is why when I was recently asked by a newlywed for advice, I offered this: Only listen to marital advice from couples whose marriages you’d like to emulate.

I told her, just as she would never consider taking financial advice from a person in the middle of their second bankruptcy, she should reject advice from those in the midst of a miserable marriage.

In one ear…out the other.

This is not to say there isn’t great wisdom gained through failure. But that should always be put in perspective and held in lesser regard than wisdom gained through proven success.

What I have discovered over the years is couples successful in marriage, are oftentimes those who’ve modeled their relationship after thriving ones. They disregard the negative comments and choose to believe they can create their own happiness.

Those who surround themselves with couples who never tear down their spouse, only build up their marriage, and challenge the notion that happily ever isn’t possible, end up with a relationship filled with genuine happiness.

A marriage mentor need not be one married for ages. There is one couple Keith and I love to be around who are the same age as us. The difference is they’ve been together since college; roughly twice as long as we have. What is most important is their relationship is tried and true and thus we’ve gained a much higher marriage IQ from being around them.

So here are the 5 reasons we’ve surrounded ourselves with marriage mentors and why you should too:

1. They help keep you on track. Just being in their presence will remind you how wonderful life can be when you have a loving partner by our side.

2. They will not allow you to sweat the small stuff. Try complaining about your spouse to a long-standing couple who are genuinely happy. They will put a mirror in your face so fast. Speaking of which…

3. They will put a mirror in your face. Rarely, is a spouse always at fault. It takes two to tango, baby.

4. They provide a positive perspective in a world headed in the opposite direction. Let’s face it, marriage has been getting a bad rap these days. ”Happily married” has become an oxymoron. Marriage mentors help you see your relationship through the prism of time and love.

5. They are living proof that real love can and should last a lifetime. This constant reminder will help you ward off any negative thoughts and encourage you to keep fighting for the relationship you most desire. It will help you to design your happily ever after.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book. I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way. It’s a marriage book like none other. Guaranteed.

6 Great Reasons You Should Go Into Business With Your Spouse

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I often here people say, “I could never work with my spouse.” Those who say this don’t realize two things: 1) Some of the most successful people in the world are “duos”; and 2) Working together could be the most rewarding decision of your life.

When I refer to working together, know that I’m not suggesting you both quit your jobs and start your own company (although many couples, like the founders of mega successful companies Eventbrite, Clif Bar, A to Z wines, Kate Spade New York, Fiji Water and Teleflora have done this and had wild success).

But I am encouraging you to go after your dreams together.

Do either of you have a great business idea? Is there something you or your husband have been talking about for years but just can’t seem to begin working on it?

When I left the hotel industry a few years ago to launch a start-up technology company, never in a million years could I have imagined all the twists and turns I’d experience along the way (the rapid growth of this club and a trip around the world to interview couples for an upcoming book, being two of them).

In our early years together, we decided it would never be a good idea for us to work together. In part, because we’re both so strong-willed. Separation of work and personal, we concluded, would be best.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

Although my husband works in a completely different industry and loves what he does, he is my partner in every since of the word. I might own the company but he is my top adviser. He may not be a CEO in the traditional since but he is certainly my chief encouragement officer.

Early in the morning, before he even has time to sip his cup of coffee, he is oft times fielding business-related questions from me. Rarely do my meetings or calls for the day begin without our early morning “board meeting.”

If you’ve ever considered starting your own business but disregarded your spouse as your partner because it might “cause conflict,” here are four great reasons (in addition to the two above) you should reconsider that decision:

1. No one, other than you, will have more of a vested interest in your company than your spouse. Your success is oftentimes even more important and gratifying to them than it would be if they’d achieved it on their own.

2. You don’t have to both quit your jobs in order to launch out on your own. My husband may never leave his current company. They treat him well and he’s brilliant at what he does. But that doesn’t keep him from having my back fully in this business venture and that gives me the confidence and boost I need to go out and conquer another small piece of the world each and every day.

3. You’re like a big, giant idea factory. You can spend hours upon hours each week bouncing ideas off one another. Laying in bed, if an idea pops in your head, you don’t have to flesh it out or put together a Powerpoint presentation. You can just blurt it out and get instant feedback from the person you (hopefully) respect the most.

4. You can pool your resources. When you are working together as a unit, you can save money toward the same goal, you’ll trade off housekeeping and child-rearing responsibilities, and work as a team to build your company without sacrificing the more important things in life.

Bring your spouse in to partner with you on your greatest ideas. Maybe that means they’re just a sounding board or maybe they actually roll up their sleeves and get to work building the business alongside you. Partnerships come in many shapes and forms, but by far, my favorite partnerships are all those that involve my husband.

QUESTION: Do you have an idea you’d love to bring to the market? Does your spouse offer a certain skill set that could be helpful in getting taking your idea to the next level?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Marriage Mondays: One Thing Every Couple Must Know {Link Up}

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Today is my parent’s 40th anniversary. To be more accurate, this milestone was almost theirs until my father succumbed to his battle with prostate cancer last fall.

In Las Vegas on Memorial Day 1973, they said ‘I do’ after only four weeks of dating and never looked back. Today is a difficult day for my mom to be sure. It’s also a day when I am reminded of one important (but often ignored) truth.

There is but one thing every couple must remember if they are to live happily ever after til’ death do part:

Your spouse is not promised one breath beyond the present moment.

Remembering this point is crucial in creating a marriage in which happiness, good communication, friendship, love and encouragement trumps all else.

Have you ever gotten so upset with your spouse that you’ve gone to sleep after an argument determined to hold on to your position of being right until the next morning? You may not realize this, but in that action, you made a subconscious decision that your spouse would still be there in the morning to continue the conversation; to acknowledge you were right.

But what about those who fall asleep in that state to never have their spouse wake up again? What about the husband who walks out the door in the midst of an argument and never returns – not by his own will but that of his Maker?

Rather than spending the remainder of our lives thinking about the wonderful life we created with our spouse, we would likely live out our final days replaying that last conversation. Instead of grieving our lover, we would grieve our last words together; that bitter moment when pride took precedence over love.

Even those who are happily married, adore their spouse, and have a wonderful relationship sometimes fall into this trap of arguing over the insignificant. But what a better life those live who are reminded of this important point every moment of the day. All of a sudden, nothing is so urgent as to not warrant patience and nothing is so important as to cause a lapse in our gentle approach.

Today, in this moment, I challenge you to make a commitment to each other not to fall into that trap. Never argue over things that will not matter in the last five minutes of your life, because after all, you never know when that time will come.

When my father passed away, my mother in all her sadness was comforted by the fact that she had no regrets. She loved him to the very end and if she could do it all over again, she’d do it just the same. We should all be so wise. We should all be so in love.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Marriage Mondays: 5 Keys to Happiness {Link Up}

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I love to read. Most of the growth that has occurred throughout the course of my adult life has come at the hands of a book. I”m a huge believer in, whenever possible, learning from the failures of others rather than experiencing my own.

Why go through the hard stuff yourself if you don’t have to?

There are times when you must experience your own failure or trials to fully understand a lesson but I personally do that as seldom as possible. As a matter of fact, this has been a prayer of mine my entire adult life and I can genuinely say it has been generously answered.

If I can grasp the lesson through someone else’s experience, you best believe that is what I will do.

Business tycoon and success magnate, Warren Buffet, once said, “When people tell me they’ve learned from experience, I tell them the trick is to learn from other people’s experience.” YES!

So when it comes to the issue of happiness, it should come as no surprise that I look to the wisdom learned through other’s experiences to help shape how I handle challenging situations and maintain happiness in my own life.

The best book I’ve read, and the greatest lessons I’ve learned on this matter of happiness have come from countless interviews of couples happily married 25-plus years, and a book by Richard Carlson called You Can Be Happy No Matter What.

If you’ve never read this book, I highly recommend it. He speaks from a psychologist point of view (of which I am not) and helped me understand why and how happiness is possible in spite of every external situation in life.

I don’t write book reviews but I’ve found myself sharing this book with my friends lately so I wanted to share it with my online friends, as well. Happiness is all about the mind; it’s all about choice. And as a proud card-carrying member (and founder ) of the Happy Wives Club, I make this choice daily in my marriage and life.

As I was getting my car washed earlier today, I came across a Blue Mountain card that made me think about the above. I actually bought the card, not because I have anyone to give it to, but so I could share the contents with you. Granted, these aren’t all the keys, but they are a few great ones.

5 Keys to Happiness

1. Realize that happiness is a choice…you can make the decision to “be happy” each day.

2. Remember that happiness is contagious. Make someone smile, and the good feelings come right back to you.

3. Be grateful for the little things in life that are free. Make a list, and add to it each morning.

4. Believe that ultimately everything happens for a reason. Acceptance leads the way to happiness.

5. Give away some courage every day! When you encourage another to “Keep going,” “hang in there,” or “believe in your dreams,” you will find an unending source of happiness.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Join the 1,000,000 Member Challenge

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Do you love being married? Do you adore your husband? Does your life represent the exact opposite of the lifestyles portrayed in shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians, The Real Housewives of…Everywhere, Mad Men?

If so, you should Join the Club!

You may not know this but women like you are the reason this club was founded and why we continue to grow by several hundred members daily. We are the antithesis to what is portrayed in the media every day.

Loving marriages do exist and we think it’s about time we saw these positive portrayals on television and in the movies. I certainly would love to see a marriage like mine -one without a bunch of drama and a couple still head over heels in love- on the small (or big) screen. What about you?

Your spouse and my spouse, you and me, we declare through our actions every day that true love does still exist and it doesn’t have to fade as the years go on. Like fine wine, when tended to, it just gets better over time.

Happily ever after isn’t a fairy tale; it’s a choice.

I must say one thing though as sometimes people confuse happiness with perceived perfection.

Becoming a member of this club doesn’t mean you have a perfect spouse or a perfect marriage. It simply means you’ve chosen to look beyond the imperfections in both. After all, there is no such thing as a perfect person, so how can there be such thing as a perfect marriage?

There is, however, such a thing as a happy marriage and a couple being in love til’ death do them part. As a newlywed 10 years ago, I was shocked by all the negative comments we received from people “warning” us about the pitfalls of marriage. They made life together sound like a constant battlefield. It’s not. At least it shouldn’t be. And my hope is this club would represent that message to the world.

When a woman gets married for the first time, rather than hearing countless stories of all the things that can possibly go wrong in marriage, she can join us here to learn all the things that can possibly go right. The Happy Wives Club is counter culture. Your marriage, for that matter, is counter culture.

But there are couples out there who need to be encouraged, who need to know in spite of what they see on television, in the magazines and online, they can create a marriage built to last a lifetime.

Every time a new member joins this club -and we continue this journey to find at least 1,000,000 happy wives around the world- we are collectively saying to the world: All husbands don’t cheat. All wives aren’t miserable. And happy marriages do still exist. Together, let’s change the way marriages are perceived in the world. Are you in?

QUESTION: Are you a member of this club? If so, let us know in the comment section below. If not, join us today and post a comment below that let’s us know you’re in!

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Marriage Mondays: We Said ‘I Do’…Again

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I’ve been bursting inside wanting to share something exciting with you! Only I couldn’t because so many of our closest friends and family read this blog and I was trying to pull off a big ole’ surprise.

In 2003, Keith and I eloped in Las Vegas in front of an Elvis impersonator-in-training (not kidding). We’d been dating for eight months and engaged for three. Our wedding plans were underway and we were set to be married four months later.

Shortly after celebrating his 31^st birthday, Keith turned to me and said, “Why are we waiting to get married?” I told him I didn’t know. “Want to go get married now?” he responded. Oh yeah!

Within an hour, we hopped in the car, drove to Nevada and by the next day were pronounced husband and wife. We never regretted this decision. It was a stress-free wedding and allowed us to begin our lives without incurring debt from the “big day.”

There was, however, one thing Keith told me he hoped would one day happen. He wanted to see me in a wedding dress.

This past Saturday, marking our first decade of love together, Keith’s dream came true as I slipped on a wedding dress and walked down the aisle to She’s My Kind of Rain and pledged my love for him in front of our closest friends and family. It was a beautiful day and even more fun was our guests had NO idea they were coming to a vow renewal ceremony.

Guests were invited to our very casual Annual Brunch with the Weavers (that we, oddly enough, have never hosted annually). Everyone was casual and waiting for a fantastic meal too be served when Keith excused himself from the party and then returned ten minutes later in a tuxedo.

Mouths wide open, our guests had a feeling something huge was about to happen. Until that point, the official story had been I was stuck in traffic which is why I wasn’t there (and that story was completely plausible as I really was stuck in awful traffic.

In his black and white tuxedo, Keith led all our guests like the pied piper to the Calabasas Creek Park, a small rose garden next door to the restaurant where we were holding our brunch, and 80 of our friends and family stood around as I entered from the back of the park and walked toward my dapper husband.

It was beautiful. A day neither of us will ever forget. Another wonderful memory in a marriage that has been filled with an endless string wonderful memories.

At the end of the brunch, two friends who’d flown into town gave us this vibrant sunflower, in an unconventional vase, with the following words written on a piece of paper from their hotel note pad:

This vintage tin cup represents ten years of love and commitment. It is a metal not easily found. It is fragile but when handled with care – will last a lifetime.

On this day, we recommitted to handling our marriage with the utmost love and care.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Marriage Mondays: Boost Your Marriage in 10 Minutes or Less

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Want to give your marriage an extra boost? Looking for that special thing that will make you fall in love with your spouse over and over again?

Like drinking a can of Monster or Red Bull for an immediate pick-me-up, in less than 10 minutes, this one simple thing will spur 5 immediate results:

Put a genuine smile on your face…immediately.
Make you fall deeper in love with your husband daily.
Boost your husband’s day (and life).
Cause you to make new discoveries in your relationship.
Give you a greater appreciation for your chosen partner in this life.

So what is this instant shot in the arm that will do all these things in less than 10 minutes, you ask? Begin creating a list.

Sounds too simple, I know. But I’m not talking about any ole’ list. This list is more important than your grocery, to-do, homework or Honey-do lists. It’s the Why I Love My Husband (never-ending list).

Last year, I began writing down all the reasons I love Keith. Shortly after beginning my list, I made two discoveries: 1) There was so much he did for me every day that would otherwise go unnoticed; and 2) Searching my heart and memory for all the reasons I adore and cherish him brought me greater joy than I could imagine. It caused me to fall in love with him over and over, every single day of the week.

Often times, especially after being married for many years, we unwittingly take for granted many of the things our spouse does on a regularly basis. We fail to say thank you as often as we would with a complete stranger. What I noticed when I began compiling this list is that changed instantaneously.

Here’s how you do it. Begin with the big items (“he’s my best friend,” “loves me exactly the way I am,” “man of integrity and great character”) and move on to the more specific (“he opened the door for me on our date tonight,” “he picked up my favorite apple at the grocery store today”).

If you have a smart phone (I have it on my iPhone), you can open your notepad app and begin the list. When you’re with your husband, look for the little things he does that are kind and special and make a point to write those things down (or type them into your phone notepad). Pay special attention to every time he goes without something he wants to ensure you have what you desire in that moment.

Keeping a list will cause you to appreciate your spouse more. And showing him your list will lift his spirits and make him feel more respected and appreciated.

I’ve watched many women improve their marriages by consistently doing this one simple thing. It’s not because their spouse began doing anything different. It’s because they began looking for all the things he was already doing right.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Unhappy Marriages Aren’t Generational…Thank Goodness!

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She was a beautiful Aryan German woman living through the horrid days of Hitler’s reign.

He was a handsome African-American serviceman stationed in Germany during WWII.

After a two-year courtship and a child born in Germany, they married and moved to the US.

He loved her. She loved him. He cheated on her. She never forgave him. Bitterness filled their home all the days of their union.

As my grandmother reminded me not long before she passed, my grandfather had a wondering eye. Well, the exact term she used was cheater.

His idea of father-son time usually involved pornographic movies and magazines.

His idea of father-daughter time was doting on her so much it made her mother insanely jealous.

The upbringing of the children was filled with strife. The divorce should have made it better but it didn’t. At least not until many decades later when they became best friends again.

When we laid my grandmother’s body to rest earlier this month, I thought about this marital legacy she’d left to her children. It was not one of happiness. It wasn’t even one of unconditional love.

And yet, I looked over at my mother who was in love with my father until death separated them last September. They adored each other for nearly 40 years and nothing could get between them.

My uncle, who sat in front of me at the funeral, glanced at his bride of more than 40 years with great affection. They have one of the most beautiful marriages I’ve ever seen. What I was reminded of on this day was both my mother and her brother made a choice. They chose to create the marriages they most desired.

They made the choice to forsake the generations of unhappy marriages that came before them and decided to chart their own path.

Just as unhappy marriages aren’t generational, neither are happy ones. Even though we lived in a home with two parents who were in love with each other our entire lives, both of my older sisters are on their second marriages. The first ones didn’t turn out so great.

Wiping the slate clean might take marital counseling. It could very well take personal counseling. But for those with an unhappy marriage, one of the worst things to do is place the blame on anyone else. Begin with acknowledging it as a choice. Those who do that can begin to chart a new course, a happier one – even as soon as today.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

3 Tips to Maintaining Your Happiness No Matter What

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A few Sundays ago, Keith came down with a wicked cough. The hacking preceded a stuffy nose followed by the voice beginning to crack.

I did my best to convince him to stay home at the offset of his symptoms so we could get ahead of what seemed to be an aggressive little bug. Every attempt at convincing him proved futile.

The first day, he went into the office and filled his poor little body with cold medicine and caffeine so he could stay awake. At the end of the day, he came home and crashed.

The next morning, my lobbying to persuade him to stay home again proved unmatched for his determination to fight this incoming illness mano y mano.

The first two days he went into the office would have been perfect days for him to stay home and allow me to take care of him as they were slower than usual days for me on the work front. But Wednesday would be a completely different story. That day’s schedule was jam packed.

I bet you can guess what happened next. You betcha!

Wednesday morning rolled around and as I was preparing for my busy work day to begin, I noticed Keith crawling back into bed and pulling the covers over his shoulders. Yep, you guessed it again…my day was about to be interrupted.

My first thought: “Nooooooooo….”

My second thought: “It’s so rare my hubby allows me to fully take care of him. He’s such a self-sufficient human being and at this moment I knew if he could do it on his own, he would have, so I kissed his forehead and assured him I’d cancel everything in my day to tend to his needs.

Was it an inconvenience? Yes. Did it quickly become my pleasure? Absolutely.

Here are the 3 quick tips I use to maintain my happiness when the craziness of life begins to threaten it:

1. Find something in that moment to be grateful for…immediately. In this instance, it was that my husband was alive and well and needed me to help him get better. I could have gotten frustrated that I’d tried to help earlier in the week, and had he listened to me, my day would not have been so inconvenienced. But really, how would that have helped?

2. Seek out the beauty in the situation. Every situation in life is meant to make us better as human beings. Life is but a series of tests and how we respond to those tests determines whether we pass and move on or are faced with the same challenge at a later date. Look for the lesson in every interruption. My lesson in this momentary interruption was patience.

3. Find a way to become a beacon of light. The world can be a dark and cold place to live. So many are looking for answers, even those around us. When we take the focus off ourselves and shift them onto helping another, in that instant our heart and life will radiate. Shifting my focus from the work I desperately needed to get done to taking care of someone in greater need allowed me to be a blessing to another individual. And in this case, that person just happened to be my favorite person in the world.

Question: How do you keep life’s interruptions from adversely impacting your happiness? (NEW: You can now leave comments on this page – just scroll down and click through the Comments button below)

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Marriage Mondays: Lean In {& Link Up}

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Do you ever find yourself pulling back when all you really want to do is wrap your arms around your husband, kiss him a hundred times and tell him how much you desire him? When out in public, have there been times when you’ve decided not to lean in to your husband as much as you’d like because you were concerned about how others might perceive your expressed adoration?

Adoration is an interesting word. It is Latin from the word adōrātiō and means to respect; reverence; have strong admiration or devotion. Most women are comfortable with expressing love for their spouse but not adoration. I wonder why.

Maybe it’s because we also use the term love to express how we feel about our pets, our favorite foods, a movie we thoroughly enjoyed. Maybe it’s because it is possible to love and still hold something back. But when we adore, by the very nature of that word, it means we go “all in.”

For the record, I adore my husband in the greatest sense of the word. Whether in public or private, I think he’s the best thing since toasted rye bread covered in melted butter. I love him, indeed I do, but I also fawn over him because I know he needs and desires that just like I do.

The sad part is women like me are becoming more and more rare. So many don’t give themselves the freedom to do this; to fully give in to the respect and admiration they have for their husband. Maybe it makes them feel weak. Possibly it’s because we’ve been taught for so long that we should hold back a part of us; save a little just in case we later need it.

Unfortunately, by withholding from our spouse, we also withhold from ourselves because they aren’t the only ones who need to feel as though they mean the entire world to at least one person. Women may express it more often but we’re both wired in this manner (men, even more so than women).

There has been alot of talk these days about renewed feminism and this concept of Lean In. I am a businesswoman and am proud of what I’ve accomplished in the workforce and will undoubtedly continue to set and achieve ambitious goals in the years ahead. But what is more important to me than leaning in to my career is leaning in to my marriage.

I intentionally give my all to my husband and marriage every day because when I retire from the workforce, I want to make sure I’ve created a family that’s built to last. I want to have a marriage I thoroughly enjoy and a husband who never ceases to make me smile. I don’t want to wake up in my fifties and realize I’ve got a fat bank account and a skinny relationship.

So if you want to know if I believe in the concept of Lean In, absolutely! The only difference is I am focused on leaning in to what matters most in the long run: God, family and friends.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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The Benefit of Creating Special Moments

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I’m not quite sure what came over me. As I opened the door, I heard melodies floating through the air carrying me to the area where Keith sat, laptop open, typing away.

He turned and looked at me and his eyes beckoned me forward.

A moment later, the Il Vivo song that had been playing when I entered out home changed to a popular song Home by Michael Bublè.

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmm…
May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home

Michael Bublè sang these lyrics through the television speakers as I walked over to Keith and gently took hold of his hand. As he swung his large black leather desk chair around, his eyes met mine and he somehow instinctively knew, I wanted to dance. He lifted my left hand toward his lips and gave it a tender kiss before standing up and leading me to the center of our living room floor.

With his 6’4″ frame towering over my 5’4″ stature, he rested his chin on the top of my head as I pressed my cheek against his chest, and we began to dance. Swaying back and forth in a small area on our carpeted floor, we listened to lyrics that didn’t seem to relate to us at all, and yet we were so moved by them.

We were embracing each other -my right hand in his left, my left hand on his shoulder, his right hand around my waist- and yet this song touched our soul. It transported us to times when we weren’t together. Either traveling for work or possibly even before we were together. A memory of not being together brought us even closer that night.

As Bublè sang the final note of the song, I looked at Keith and whispered, “Thank you for this dance,” a reference he and I both know from a Garth Brooks song we love.

After another tender embrace, we gathered our things and headed to a nearby restaurant for dinner. As we walked through the restaurant, we heard a familiar tune. The pianist in the bar area was playing Michael Bublè’s Home and just that quickly, we were transported back to the middle of our living room floor, hands clinched, embracing each other in an impromptu dance.

I looked at Keith, he looked down at me, and we just smiled. Without so much as saying a word, we both knew we’d just created a special moment that would last for the remainder of our years. No matter where we are or when it happens, the moment we hear Home, we will now think about that dance.

Life is made of small moments. Tender, loving moments. Creating them daily in your marriage allows you to -no matter where you may be- think back to a specific time and place and to again feel what you felt in that single moment.

Our lives are busy. Many of us have a difficult time just keeping up with our own schedules. But remember, a special moment can be created in less than two minutes and it can never be taken away. It is a treasure you can hold on to forever.

QUESTION: What special moment comes to the surface of your mind and makes you smile? (NEW: You can now leave comments on this page – just scroll down and click through the Comments button below)

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

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About Fawn Weaver