Author Archives: Fawn Weaver

About Fawn Weaver

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).

44 Reasons You Should Join the Happy Wives Club

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Have you noticed we’re living in a reality television world that seems hell-bent on selling the same story: wives are miserable, husbands cheat, marriages usually end in divorce, and happily ever after only exists in fairy tales?

Well, that’s why we’re here. While the world remains fixated on all that can possibly go wrong in marriage, we remain squarely focused on all that can go right.

This club shines a bright light on one important (but often overlooked) truth: Happily ever after isn’t a fairy tale…it’s a choice.

What began in 2010 as a simple way to shine a light on the positive side of marriage has turned into a vibrant community of close to 200,000 women wanting to surround themselves with others who are like-minded.

We form friendships and encourage each other daily. If you’re not a part of our online community, make sure to join us here.

And if you’re happily married (or aspire to be) and haven’t joined the Club yet, what are you waiting for? You can do it in seconds right here. The world needs to know that wives like you exist. They need to know that the report of marriage’s demise has been grossly over exaggerated.

And if you need further convincing, here are 44 reasons you should join the Happy Wives Club:

You love and adore your husband and he feels the same about you.
You believe love and marriage still go hand-in-hand and want to share that with the world!
You will be joining a community of nearly 200,000 women in over 100 countries around the world.
You will finally have a place to talk openly about the beauty or marriage and how much you love your hubby without worrying about offending anyone or hurting anyone else’s feelings.
This is a community that LOVES to hear you brag about your hubby! You’ll never hear a snarky comment in response when you gush about the awesomeness of your man.
Your presence in this club signals to the world that the demise of marriage has been largely exaggerated and awesome husbands do still exist.
You can invite your friends who are happily married (or desire to be) and create a local “Happy Wives Club” IRL (in real life).
If you join our active community, You’ll be encouraged daily in your marriage.
If you sign up for our free weekly newsletter, you’ll receive practical tips on taking your marriage from good to great and from great to extraordinary.
To help encourage others that a happy marriage isn’t only possible, it’s within their reach.
You’ll never, ever, see a negative post on this site. Where else can you be guaranteed that?
You’ll be joining an upbeat community focused on all that is positive about marriage and life.
You’ll always leave this site refreshed, renewed, ready to tackle the world…yet, another day.
Membership is, of course, free. HAVE YOU JOINED YET? IF NOT, CLICK HERE TO JOIN.
Awesome giveaways for you and your spouse to enjoy (like this all-expenses paid trip to Disneyland).
You’ll get practical tips on boosting your sex life.
You’ll get great advice from women happily married 20, 30, 40, even 50 years.
Some of the most popular posts on marriage and relationships on the web can be found on this site (like this one), and if you’ll have instant access to them every time they’re published.
Did you know our Health & Fitness section is managed by Olympian, Annett Davis? She gives awesome advice for getting our bodies right.
Need awesome anniversary gift ideas on the cheap? We’ve got you covered with posts like this.
Looking for frugal or free ways to celebrate your anniversary or your husband’s birthday? Yep, we have one of the most popular posts on the web dedicated to that too.
Need to figure out innovative ways to keep dating your spouse while the kiddos are young? Not a problem. We’re great at that.
Some of the best food bloggers on the web join us in our Food section and share awesome recipes they’ve tested with their own families.
Need Date Night ideas? We’ve got you covered.
Thinking about traveling with your family and want to know where to go and what to do? Yep, we’ve got you covered there too.
You learn the benefits of Sexercise and this is something you definitely want to know. Yes, you!
You’ll get fabulous tips on flirting with your hubby.
You will get great financial tips from couples who have succeeded in creating a debt-free household.
You’ll discover unique activities you can do, not only with your husband, but with other couples.
Thinking about going into business with your spouse, we can think of tons of reasons why you should and will give you the encouragement to git-r-done.
Need date nights on the cheap. How about some great ways to get that done? You’ll find that here too.
You’ll learn the one thing every couple must know.
Trying to figure out how to keep the romance alive after the baby is born? Oh yeah, you’ll find that here too.
You’ll get practical tips on sex, like how to boost your libido.
Infertility challenges? Well, we can’t help you with that but we will encourage you along your journey.
During those moments when your marriage needs a little boost, we’ll show you how to do that in 10 minutes or less.
On the days when you’re feeling down and your energy is low, we’ll give you tips for maintaining your happiness no matter what.
Ever feel too tired for sex? We’ll give you 4 benefits for love making – for you!
Meet new friends. You’ll really like our 30 fabulous contributors who write here and we all love our hubbies!
You’ll quickly discover that by changing the conversation…you can help change the world.

If the above forty didn’t convince you to join the club, maybe nothing will. Except, perhaps, the following quotes that remind us of the absolute importance marriages staying together (and the happier, the better):

“The effects of the decline of marriage on society are striking. The failure of parents to marry and stay married leads to more crime, poverty, mental health problems, welfare dependency, failed schools, blighted neighborhoods, bloated prisons, and higher rates of single parenting and divorce in the next generation. Nearly every major social problem has deep roots in the failure of adults to form and sustain healthy marriages.” -Bill Doherty, Director of Marriage and Family Therapy at University of Minnesota
“You need only do three things in this country to avoid poverty – finish high school,
marry before having a child, and marry after the age of 20. Only 8 percent of the families
who do this are poor; 79 percent of those who fail to do this are poor.” -William Galston, former White House Administration
“The collapse of marriage is the principal cause of child poverty in the United States. . . Overall, some 80% of long-term child poverty in the United States is found among children from broken or never-formed families.” -Robert Rector, US Poverty Issues Expert
“The United States Administration for Children and Families (ACF) spends $46 billion per year operating 65 different social programs. If one goes down the list of these programs… the need for each is either created or exacerbated by the breakup of families and marriages.” -Wade Horn, Psychologist and former US Assistant Secretary for Children and Families

So there’s my pitch! My goal when I set out on this journey was to find at least one million women around the world, proud to declare their love for their husbands. We’re one-fifth of the way there and if you’ll share the club’s mission with your friends and invite them to join the million member challenge, we’ll definitely get there.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Sharing the Love {Marriage Mondays Link-Up}

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One of the things I love most about being a blogger dedicated solely to the beauty of love and the wonder of marriage is all those I’ve met along the way.

Women like you. Bloggers like those joining us today.

Every 3rd Monday of the month, we invite married bloggers from around the web to join us for our Marriage Mondays link up.

Sometimes the posts they spotlight will be about love and marriage. Other times, they’re about anything on their mind.

What is great is when you visit the sites of any of those linked up below, you know they are like you: Not Stepford. Not Desperate. But madly in love with their hubbies! And quite frankly, we all need to know women like that.

Click on any of the links below. Read the posts. Be encouraged. And don’t forget to encourage the blogger by posting a comment.

Although I usually publish a new post every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, this week I’ll be adding one extra day. So join me here tomorrow for a special post just for you. And as always, it’ll be all about love.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

An InLinkz Link-up

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

SAVE THE DATE: Bloggers, join us here every third Monday of the month for our fabulous link-up party! Join us September 16th for our next Marriage Mondays!

8 Ways to Increase Your Marriage IQ

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Did you know genetics only account for fifty percent of a person’s intelligence quotient (IQ)? The other fifty percent can be increased year after year through training and intentionality.

That got me thinking. What about a person’s marriage IQ?

When researching articles (like this one) on how to increase your IQ, I noticed they all gave similar suggestions. And almost all of those ideas could be applied to increasing the knowledge of one’s spouse and how to make marriage even better.

So let’s get to it! Here are 8 ways to increase your marriage IQ:

1. Begin Your Day Off Right. In marriage, it’s not the right breakfast that increases your IQ; it’s enjoying it together. Some aren’t big breakfast people (hubby and I certainly aren’t), don’t worry, you can have the same impact by beginning each day together with a cup of java or tea.

If mornings don’t work, try setting the time aside at the end of your day. Either way, what’s most important is this time together -daily- can help you stay in tune with your spouse and marriage.

2. Stay Fit & Keep Your Heart Healthy. Everyone repeat after me: “Endorphins!” These little neurotransmitters pass along signals from one neuron to the next.

Exercising (and sex!) release endorphins which help to lower stress, are natural pain killers, and give an instant boost to your happiness. There is absolutely no downside to staying fit and Sexercise will double the benefit.

3. Keep & Review a Daily Journal. Keeping a Why I Love My Husband list or creating a gratitude journal specific to your spouse will keep your spirits high, even when they’re thinking about taking you low.

If your hubby does something that disappoints you or hurts your feelings, just flip open the journal to what wonderful things you wrote about him the day before and be reminded to not the sweat the small stuff. You married an awesome person. You said so yourself…just hours earlier.

4. Take a Break. Which one among us doesn’t need a mental break; an intentional time of recharging our mental batteries. For my hubby and me, we set aside twenty-four hours each week when we do absolutely, positively no work. This has been our saving grace, especially, in our busier seasons. Initially, it might seem odd not working for an entire day. But I promise, your marriage will soon thank you.

5. Don’t Get Bored. Mindless surfing of channels and the internet is time that could be much better spent actually doing something (resting, by the way, is something). Rather than vegging out in front of a television, try whipping out the Scrabble board and going toe-to-toe in fun competition.

To increase your IQ, experts recommend a Rubik’s cube. To increase your marriage IQ, we recommend anything that will get you talking and enjoying one another often and intentionally. Here are some great ideas from SheKnows for this activity.

6. Life Long Learning. Whatever you do, never stop learning! Reading books on marriage (and then implementing the suggestions that relate to your own) is one of the fastest and most efficient ways to increase your marriage IQ.

Books like Dr. Kevin Leman’s Sheet Music (for sex), Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages (for communication) and Laura Doyle’s The Surrendered Wife (balance of power) have helped more marriages than I can count. I can’t tell you how many marriage books I’ve read over the years and each one has had a gem in it I could immediately apply to my own.

7. Meditation. If your brain goes from 0-to-60 in .05 seconds like mine, this is something that will be incredibly beneficial to you. Praying is a form of meditation. Laying or sitting still and clearing your mind is another. Deep inhales and exhales can be a form of meditation, as well.

The bottom line is it helps you -at any time- slow down your day. That reduction of stress can only increase the pleasure in the time you spend with your husband.

8. Find a Marriage Mentor. There is no greater way to learn how to take your marriage from good to great and from great to extraordinary than by surrounding yourself with others who have already walked the road you’re currently traveling. I previously wrote an entire post on the 5 reasons you should have a marriage mentor and highly recommend it.

As is the case with intelligence, increasing your marital IQ isn’t required in order to have a great marriage. But why not give it a try anyhow?

QUESTION: What other ways do you think one can increase their marriage IQ (intellect and knowledge of spouse and pleasure in their marriage)?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

7 Simple Tips to Writing the Perfect Love Note

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Do you come down with a severe case of writer’s block every time you think about writing a love note to your spouse?

You’re not alone.

Even if you’re usually a talkative person, sometimes transferring that energy onto paper can be a challenge.

For some people, speaking through a pen comes naturally. For most, however, it can be a difficult thing. My husband is an incredibly gifted writer…except when it comes to writing love notes.

He easily verbalizes how much he loves me in the most beautiful ways, but ask him to write those same words down and you’ll get a blank stare.

For the first eight years of our marriage, he signed nearly every card with, “Love, Keith.” Now, he’s advanced to adding a sentence or two before the Love, Keith.

So if you are anything like my husband (come to think of it, maybe I should send this post to him too ), here are 7 simple tips to writing the perfect love note:

1. Don’t be afraid to borrow words. Listen, I highly doubt Hallmark is going to come after you for borrowing words from their cards to give to your husband. As long as you’re not posting it on the internet and it’s private, use these words for inspiration.

2. Get your groove on…and then write down the lyrics. Find a love song, get your groove on, and then jot down some of the lyrics. Have you ever noticed how a love song you heard at a special place 15 years ago can cause memories to come rushing back the moment you hear it again? Go online and search lyrics to romantic songs like Clint & Lisa Black’s When I Said I Do and turn those into a beautiful note.

3. Leave technology out of it. Here’s the one time in the 21st century when you should not use technology. The most personal love letters are handwritten. It doesn’t matter if you have poor penmanship (although you may want to consider writing a few drafts to get the nicest version possible). So pull out a pencil or pen and a piece of paper and go at this the old fashioned way.

4. Let nature speak to you. When was the last time you left the hustle and bustle of city life (or the often hectic pace of home life) and simply immersed yourself in nature? I don’t know about you but when I am among nothing but trees, sitting beneath stars, walking along a sandy beach or hiking in the mountains, words flow more clearly. Clarity is gained and all that is beautiful comes rushing to your mind. Immerse yourself in a natural and picturesque environment, whip out your pen and note pad, and I bet something magical will appear on your paper.

5. Enlist help. Listen, if you want to write something beautiful and aren’t gifted in the area of creative writing, enlist your friends and family. Send out a mass email and make a fun game out of it. Tell everyone to send a line to be added to the letter. You will get some oh-so-funny responses. And if you can’t use any of them, at least you’ll get a big laugh out of it.

6. Pinterest, baby. I was one of the last bloggers to get on Pinterest. No, really. I fought it as long as I could because I’m not an arts and crafts person. But now that I understand it better, I realize how useful this social network can be for drawing inspiration. Find all sorts of creative love letters and notes and borrow from their ideas.

7. Don’t be afraid of a few ABC’s. Do you remember Nat King Cole’s L-O-V-E, “L is for the way you look at me. O is for the only one I see. V is very, very extraordinary. E is even more than anyone that you adore and. Love is all that I can give…”? If all else fails, bust out your dictionary and run through a list of words that fit various letters in the alphabet. For instance, if your husband’s name is Mike you could say, “M is for the marvelous way you love me, I is for…” and on and on.

Are love letters important in order to show someone you love them? Of course not. But why not do it anyway?

QUESTION: When was the last time you wrote your spouse a love letter? What was their response?

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

We’re SO close to our goal! JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book. I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way. It’s a marriage book like none other. Guaranteed.

Teamwork Makes the Marriage Work

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A mantra often quoted in the corporate world is teamwork makes the dream work. What I’ve discovered in my own life is this is even more true when it comes to relationships and marriage.

A couple weeks ago, my Facebook status read, “London for meetings, Chicago for a conference, Bahamas for a wedding, New York for meetings, San Francisco for a friend’s 50th birthday – and that’s all within the next 4 weeks. Go Team Weaver!”

This is our life. A bit crazy, utterly hectic, and absolutely wonderful. We know we can do everything, as long as we do it together.

Team Weaver is how we’re known to our friends. Over the years, I’ve truly come to appreciate that title more and more.

I can think back over the past ten years, all the out of reach goals we’ve set for ourselves, the “unrealistic” dreams we put front and center. Even some of the prayers we sent up, most would probably think might come back down with, “Uh, are you kidding?”

But we weren’t kidding.

We have a profound faith in one another. We have a desire to see the other succeed even more than we desire success for ourselves.

Years ago, my former colleagues invited me to join them for a 5K race for charity. The company was sponsoring a group of runners and I was asked to be one of them. Here’s the problem. I didn’t know how to run.

I know, in theory, running is just about putting one foot in front of the other with greater frequency than you might for walking.

That is in theory. In reality, nearly every runner will tell you that running is about training; it is about endurance. It is about learning to breathe properly so you don’t get winded.

When I explained why I couldn’t join the team, one of the gals said, “Oh, don’t worry about any of that. You’re only going to need to run one leg of the 5K. This is a relay.”

If we look at marriage as a relay, we can easily see why teamwork makes the marriage work. You can run at least twice as far. You can climb at least twice as high. You can bear at least twice the amount of weight.

Have you ever tried doing a seated leg press on a weight machine at the gym? It’s not my favorite machine, that’s for sure, but it is incredibly beneficial for my glutes so I use it every now and then. When I sit down, place both of my feet on the metal plate and push, I am able to press approximately 250 lbs. But when I reduce the weight to half and attempt to do the same with only one leg, I can’t even move the plate.

It would stand to reason that if I press 250 lbs. with both legs, I should be able to press 125 lbs. with one. But just as that is not the case with this interesting little contraption at the gym, that’s not the case in life. Teaming up with your spouse doesn’t just multiply the effort and results by two, it increases your ability to do everything far more than you could possibly think.

The next time you’re shooting for an out of reach goal, team up with your spouse and see how quickly something can go from being impossible to absolutely possible.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

MARRIAGE MONDAYS Link Up Party: Bloggers, join us here every third Monday of the month for our fabulous link-up party! Join us August 19th for our next Marriage Mondays!

It’s Marriage Mondays Link-Up Party Time!

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I’ve been waiting for this day for the past three weeks. It’s Marriage Mondays link-up party time!

Previously, we’d hosted this link up party weekly but because it’s my desire to visit the sites of all those who link up, that became a bit of a challenge to keep up with each week.

Last month, I made the decision to change Marriage Mondays to the 3rd Monday of every month. It was a tough decision because I love visiting the sites of all the married bloggers who link up on this special day.

For those who don’t know, Marriage Mondays is the time when wonderful bloggers from around the world join us here to share their favorite blog posts from the past month.

I invite you to join me in hopping around to as many blogs as time will spare.

I love meeting new bloggers and am always encouraged reading the posts of those who join the link-up party. I hope you will, as well.

If you’re a blogger, link up your most intriguing posts from the past month below. Remember, if it doesn’t have a good title, chances are no one will be interested in hopping over to read it. So link up the best you’ve got and woo us to your site.

We are a community of close to 200,000 women and we’re here to support one another, encourage each other and shining a positive light on life, love and marriage.

So put on your dancing shoes and join the link up party!

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

An InLinkz Link-up

The 15 Best Aphrodisiac Recipes For Your Hubby & You

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Does your hubby know his way around the kitchen? Does he love showing off his culinary skills?

If you’ve been longing to see your husband standing over the stove and making a delicious meal for you, show him these recipes!

I guarantee he will be all too happy to burn it up in the kitchen so you can both steam up in the bedroom a little later.

Studies have long shown that certain vitamins and minerals increase nerve sensitivity and boost hormone levels, pumping up that sometimes elusive libido.

I know what you might be thinking, and no, oysters aren’t the only aphrodisiac food with the ability to put you in the mood.

So find a recipe here and eat your way to an incredible time using the 15 best aphrodisiac recipes we’re dishing up.

Breakfast (Did you know libido is oftentimes highest in the morning? Or so I’ve been told )

Almond French Toast: Grab your hubby by the hand and get the morning started off right! Not only does this recipe include two aphrodisiac foods, almonds and eggs, you can top it off with two more -bananas and strawberries- for an orgasmic delight.

Freestyle Frittata: This distinct Italian relative of the omelet uses not one but two aphrodisiac foods. Send your libido into overdrive with every delectable bite!

Chocolate Maca Milkshake: Get a libido boost first thing in the morning by adding this powerful superfood to any of your smoothies or begin the morning with something a little sweeter. Sworn by Peruvians to be the most powerful aphrodisiac ever, Maca roots are said to boost sexual strength and libido.

Lunch or Dinner (don’t be afraid to break away in the middle of the day for a bedroom soiree)

Black and White Steak au Poivre: Those French certainly know how to make some sexy dishes! Add a glass of red wine, another aphrodisiac food, to this meal and Ooh La La.

Asparagus, Mozzarella & Prosciutto Parcels: An English herbalist from the 17th century, Nicholas Culpepper, wrote that asparagus “stirs up lust in man and woman.” In 19th century France, bridegrooms were served three courses of the sexy spears at their prenuptial dinners. A great source of vitamins and minerals, including folic acid, which is said to boost histamine production necessary for the ability to reach orgasm in both sexes. Oh yeah!

Fig Goat Cheese Pie with Basil: If you’ve not figured it out by now, my goal is to find recipes that combine as many of the top 30 aphrodisiac foods thought to boost the libido as possible. This lovely recipe combines three, almonds, fig and basil, for a taste that is out of this world!

King Ranch Chicken: With the slightly spicy kick of poblano and jalapeño chile peppers (and aphrodisiac food that fires you up in all the right places), this cheesy chicken casserole is anything but ordinary.

Oyster and Scallop Tartare with Ginger Dressing: Cue the gastronomic explosion in your mouth with this recipe that combines three aphrodisiac foods: oysters, ginger and champagne.

Salmon with Sweet Chili Glaze and Sugar Snap Peas: The wild variety of salmon is a great source of Omega-3 fatty acids. These essential oils are said to help in proper glandular development and lead to increased response to arousal. Throw in some sweet chili sauce and ginger and you’ve got a dinner jam-packed with three aphrodisiacs.

Bacon, Avocado and Tomato Cristini: Although I’ve never seen bacon on a list of aphrodisiac foods, I’m sure there are plenty men out there who might disagree. But just in case bacon being an aphrodisiac is a myth, this recipe includes three real ones: avocado, garlic and lemon. As my little sister would say, “Yummerz!”

Cold Almond and Garlic Soup with Figs and Marcona Almonds: The Mediterranean diet isn’t thought to be the sexiest diet in the world for no reason. This soup boasts three aphrodisiac ingredients -used often in Mediterranean diets- in one bowl. Jackpot.

Spicy Strawberry Salsa: What happens when you add a little bit of lime juice, jalapeño pepper, and a few other choice items with strawberries? You get something that is out of this world! Sure, strawberries are pretty sexy-looking already. But on top of that, they contain antioxidants and improve circulation, which up your chances of having a hot-blooded encounter.

Dessert (chocolate is an aphrodisiac…so get double the pleasure)

Pomegranate Chocolate Chunk Oatmeal Cookies: Now, who wouldn’t love the combination of these three aphrodisiacs (chocolate, pomegranate and oatmeal)? Don’t even wait until these cookies cool down, eat them just minutes out of the oven and while the melted chocolate gets all over your hands…well…you know (**wink wink**).

Banana and Nutella S’Mores: You mean Nutella doesn’t qualify as an aphrodisiac? I’m shocked! Well, at least this yummy twist on a campfire tradition includes two known aphrodisiacs, bananas and chocolate.

Chocolate Glazed Chocolate Tart: It just seems like any recipe with “chocolate” contained twice in the name should make it onto this list of our 12 best. On Epicurious.com, this recipe is rated 4-forks with ninety-eight percent saying they’d make it again. Sounds like a winner to me!

QUESTION: What’s your favorite recipe(s) featuring an aphrodisiac food? Add it below in the comments (and if you have the link to the recipe, feel free to include that too!)

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

MARRIAGE MONDAYS Link Up Party: Bloggers, join us here every third Monday of the month for our fabulous link-up party! Join us July 15th for our next Marriage Mondays!

The One Thing You Should Know About Marriage

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A few days ago, I received the following note from Cheryl on our Facebook community page:

“Just wanted to take a minute to thank you for being here. Hubby was unemployed for 17 months. We lost all our retirement savings (we are both close to 60). Went without food, electricity, sold our belongings just to survive.

I had a lot of residual anger over the whole thing that ended up pointed toward my husband because he was the only other person in the house.

My therapist said that I should write a long letter that I don’t send to get all my anger out and I did start the letter. That same day, I ran across your Facebook page.

I realized it would take the same amount of effort to be angry at him as it would to learn to love him again. So I ‘liked’ your page, put the letter in the trash can and started focusing on loving my husband again.

We are still in a bad place financially and might lose the house, but we don’t care. As long as we are together, nothing else matters. Thank you so much for coming along when I needed your help. Angels show up in the most interesting places. Blessings from Kansas.”

I read the note to Keith that morning and his reaction was pretty much the same as mine (albeit, without the added tears that filled my eyes), “That is awesome, Honey!” Then he paused a moment to further ponder what I’d just read.

The Happy Wives Club is doing exactly what we set out to do.

No one gets married hoping one day it’ll fall apart (at least no one I’ve ever met). But life happens and those small things many were once willing to overlook -quirks, idiosyncrasies, imperfections, failures- all of a sudden become the main focus.

A world full of broken, jaded and hardened hearts is a dangerous world to live. A place where broken homes are the majority is a disheartening existence. But you can help change that. You already have.

By remaining positive and optimistic about marriage, sharing your wonderful experiences of love, you’re causing people to look at their own marriages and figure out a way to fix what has become broken rather than turn and run the other way.

You may not realize how many people, like Cheryl, you are encouraging just by having a happy and healthy marriage. You likely have no clue how many you have healed just by being you. But I want to encourage you that it’s more than you think.

The one thing you should know about marriage is how much yours matters. You, my friend, are changing the world. Your loving marriage heals hearts and the homes in which they reside. Keep loving. Keep shining. And never forget how important your marriage is to those around you.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

MARRIAGE MONDAYS Link Up Party: Bloggers, join us here every third Monday of the month for our fabulous link-up party! Join us July 15th for our next Marriage Mondays!

5 Quick & Easy Financial Tips For Couples Getting Out of Debt

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When I wrote the post on my #1 financial tip for couples on a budget on Monday, I didn’t expect such a large reception.

More than 10,000 new visitors stopped by that day to give it a read, and a countless number of visitors couldn’t access it because the large spike in traffic at certain times caused our server to crash ten times. Yes, 10x.

It was then I realized how many couples reading HappyWivesClub.com are in need of help in this area.

Several years ago, my husband and I made some drastic changes to pull ourselves out of debt – as quickly and easily as possible. We now know firsthand the freedom that comes as a result of removing that huge pile of bricks (aka debt) off our shoulders.

There are so lessons we learned throughout that journey and these are our top five:

1. Team up. Getting on the same page could quite possibly be the single most important tip to getting your finances on track as quickly as possible. Strong couples look at debt as a financial challenger (rather than a challenge) and join forces to defeat it.

2. Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. I’m not an affiliate for this program, I’ve never met the author, and gain nothing by endorsing it. The reason I suggest it is it works!

This is the program Keith and I used and it is what helped us get on the same page with our finances immediately.

We followed the author’s step-by-step instructions and pulled out of debt much faster than we ever thought possible. This morning, I found the book on sale for $1.99 (99% off) at Barnes & Noble online.

3. Divide your spending into categories for greater oversight. There are a number of ways to do this. In our household, my husband and I use a monthly allowance system and each takes responsibility for capping certain expenses. You can read here for our exact system.

4. Give. It’s a fascinating thing. When people get in a financial rut, one of the first things they often stop doing is giving. That is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. No matter your religion or faith, giving is a principle that simply works. From books like Rich Dad, Poor Dad to the Millionaire Next Door, business and financial experts all include this as a pivotal ingredient in their recipe for financial success.

5. Make gratitude a part of your daily life. If you’re reading this on a computer or a smart phone, there’s a great likelihood you’re within the top 10% of wealthiest people in the world. Keeping this perspective will help you appreciate what you have and that appreciation opens up the gateways of your mind.

It’s not always about getting another job, or working harder, sometimes the answer rests in allowing our minds to be as free as possible to come up with the solutions we need. And scientists have proven, time and time again, that gratitude and focusing on the positive is one of the fastest ways to achieve success.

If you have 12 minutes to spare (or if not, consider fast forwarding to the 9-minute mark), here’s a video I’ve personally sent to my closest friends and family that explains why this adjustment could very well be the missing variable in your financial health equation.

QUESTION: What other financial tips for couples would you add to this list?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Marriage Mondays: Awesome Activity You Can Do With Your Husband & Friends {& Link-Up}

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Keith and I had an absolute blast last night with some of our closest friends; all married couples. So much fun I wouldn’t even dream of keeping it to myself.

While traveling the world last summer, and interviewing couples happily married 25-years or more, I came across this very cool activity.

A couple in Perth, Australia got together with their closest married friends -nine couples in all- every other month to travel the world…without ever leaving home.

Allow me to explain.

This group of friends created passports for each person, including customized country passport stamps, and every other month they’d visit a new country by way of food and decor.

A different couple hosts the event each time, finding the perfect restaurant (or turning their home into one), and then the group all travels to the chosen location together.

The hosts are charged with knowing all about the country they’ve chosen and throughout the evening they share different things about the culture, food, people, etcetera. It’s a beautiful way to get to know the entire world (while spending time with your friends) at a fraction of the cost.

After I returned from my travels, Keith and I invited nine of our favorite couples to join us in creating our very own World on a Plate (WOAP).

The funny (yet oh-so-sad) thing is we were the first hosts and chose our favorite ethnic restaurant. The problem was -and we didn’t realize this until it was time to create the country passport stamp- we chose a restaurant that served Pan-Asian food.

Hmmmm…you mean there’s no country called Pan-Asia? How’d that happen?

We had a wonderful time but that definitely wasn’t the way we wanted to start off the American version of WOAP. This time around, my sister and her Dominican-born husband hosted us -eight couples in total- at a real country: the Dominican Republic. It was some of the most fun we have ever had with our wonderful group of friends.

When we arrived, they had the Dominican Republic flag waving outside and when we entered their home, we were all greeted by a colorful sign that read, “Kings WOAP Dominican Republic Night” and leis in the colors of the Dominican flag. Each of us put on our leis as we entered the home.

The decor was colorful and festive. Dominican music filled the air as drinks and a 4-course dinner that began with albondigas (meatballs) and hit a high note with sudado de pollo (sweaty chicken) and carne de res guisada (braised beef with rice and beans) filled our stomachs.

We ate and ate until our tummies could not possibly take in one more thing. Carlos, my sister’s husband, told stories of growing up in the Dominican Republic and gave us a look into his country (he doesn’t like desserts or candy because as a kid he’d climb up trees and hack off a piece of fruit if he wanted something sweet).

It was a fabulous night and a wonderful way to encourage happiness in marriage. When you get together with a group of married friends, and the only thing you focus on is all that’s beautiful in life, nights like this carry on with us long after the evening has come to an end.

Give World on a Plate a try with your own group of married friends. I promise it’ll be well worth the effort.

QUESTION: Do you and your married friends have any special activities you enjoy doing together?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

An InLinkz Link-up

Marriage Mondays: The One Thing All Happy Wives Have in Common

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On Friday, I wrote about ten things your husband does that just don’t matter. A comment posted by Kim Hall later summed it up perfectly. She said:

“[You have to] put things in proper perspective. I think a great question to ask ourselves is this: If I lost my husband today, would I be grateful he was gone because now the toilet seat would always be down, paper rolling the right way, clothes no longer on the floor, etc.? That question really zooms those little things back into their proper perspective for me!”

What I loved about Kim’s comment is it cuts right to the heart of a particular matter. It reminds us of something Richard Carlson, PhD spent his brief lifetime telling us, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff.

So, how is your marital perspective?

The Happy Wives Club is a community of close to 150,000 women in more than 100 countries around the world, and my conversations with thousands -literally, thousands- of them, has taught me one simple truth. Those who are genuinely happy all have this in common: Perspective.

When Keith boarded a flight early Friday morning, there was little I cared about more than his safe return. No quirk, idiosyncrasy, flaw or fault of his could mean more to me than him coming home safely.

And when he is home, I feel the same way. No flaw, quirk or difference will ever override my love, respect and adoration for this man I am honored to call my husband.

There is a great quote by Maya Angelou, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” I learned long ago that nothing good comes from complaining. Nothing productive whatsoever.

Good, however, always comes out of keeping everything in the proper perspective. It frees us to go after exactly what we desire most, to create our happily ever after through gratitude, and to not waste time on anything that will not matter in the end. It allows us to solve problems with our spouse rather than against them.

This, I am certain, my fellow happy wives and I have in common. And that is one of the many reasons I am so honored to be a member of this club.

QUESTION: How important do you think perspective is in the lives of those who are genuinely happy? (would love to hear from you in the comment section below)

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

An InLinkz Link-up

I’m an ‘Over’ Girl {10 Things Your Husband Does That Don’t Matter}

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There is a quote I love by J & G Murphy, “Make a list of ten of your spouse’s faults, which, for the sake of your marriage, you will always overlook. You can live with those ten.”

Can you think of your ten?

I thought about that quote while watching Oprah high-five someone during an interview proudly declaring, “I’m an ‘over’ girl! I’m an ‘over’ girl!”

She was talking to her guest and somehow (I don’t quite remember how) the conversation turned to toilet paper and how some people like to position the roll so the paper is grabbed from the top and some like to pull it from the bottom.

Growing up, my mother was quite particular about this and she was definitely an over girl. Let’s just say I was a tad rebellious in my youth (surprise, surprise), hence, I’ve always been an under girl. And I bet you can guess which way Keith prefers. Yep, he’s an over guy.

For years, he’d position the toilet paper on the holder so the paper would push from the top and when it was my turn to change it, I’d position it so it pulled from the bottom.

I wouldn’t even think about it. Years of living by myself and doing things my way taught me that the toilet paper should be pulled from under. His years of living alone assured him the exact opposite.

But here’s the point. It’s all a bunch of nonsense!

Who cares which way the toilet paper is positioned? For that matter, who cares if your spouse drinks directly from the carton of milk or leaves a box of cereal with such a small amount contained any “sensible” person would have thrown it away rather than returning it to the cupboard from which it came?

When building a relationship that will last a lifetime, one of the silliest things we can do is get caught up in the small things that will not matter in the end. So pick ten things, heck, pick twenty things your husband does that are different from the way you think they should be done, and just live with those.

Today, I’m an over girl. After more than three decades of insisting toilet paper made more sense to be pulled from the bottom than the top, I intentionally looked at it from my husband’s point of view and realized I may have been wrong. It actually makes quite a bit of sense to go from the top. Then again, it makes just as much sense to go from the bottom. But more important than both of those perspectives…it just doesn’t matter.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

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