Donnant Donnant: Give To Receive

UPDATE: For those who have asked about my Dad, he is doing much better. He remains in ICU but we’re hopeful that will not be for much longer. The great news is it looks like he will survive all this. Thank you for your prayers and well wishes.

This morning, I awoke and planned to meet you here around 5am, as usual. But unlike most mornings, the internet in our apartment wasn’t working so I attempted to upload my post for the day using Keith’s iPad. That’s when I learned the limitations of the uber-popular iPad. So now, I sit in the local Starbucks (whose cool vibe I’m loving) several hours later writing this post.

With my eyes barely open this morning, I looked at my phone to see the time. But before I took note of the 4:59am listed at the top, I saw I’d received a long text message from the taxi driver that took me all around Mauritius while I was there a few months ago (during my worldwide quest to find the secret to a happy marriage).

I’d sent a question to him yesterday via text regarding a phrase he shared with me while I was there. Married more than 30 years, Bobby, had a lot of advice about marriage including his acronym for wife. “You know what wife means?” he asked in a serious tone. “Yes, of course I do.” At least I thought I did until he started laughing to himself which let me know he must have an nontraditional meaning.

“Wife stands for ‘Without information, argue much.’” Something tells me there was translation lost in the meaning since that acronym would be “wiam” not “wife.” My guess is the actual answer to that question was something along the lines of “without information fight every day.” Either way, we shared a laugh and then I listened to his real advice.

The secret to a happy marriage, according to Bobby, is “donnant donnant,” which is a French phrase he explained meant, “to receive you must first give.” I like that. Donnant donnant. When two people are focused more on what they give than what they receive, when they are determined to have a marriage made up of two equal parts, something magical happens. The law of reciprocity kicks in, and somehow, each person receives more than they ever hoped or desired.

That’s how it is with my marriage. What about yours?

Question: When you give to your husband expecting nothing in return, do you usually find he gives you more in return than you’d ever hoped or asked?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).