School of Marriage: HIStory

Please Note: This blog post is the final installment in the six-part series, School of Marriage. If you missed the last four days, feel free to catch up here: Marriage & Money, Marriage & Politics: Will They Ever Mix Well?, Let’s Talk About Sex, Mastering Your Husband’s Love Language and Just Be Open.

Historical events – whether occurring in the outside world or within his home – helped shaped your husband to be who he is today. Some good experiences, some bad. Some rewarding, some alarming. We all have a past we must reckon with and your husband is no different. Becoming the man he was created to be is often stiffled by continuously returning to thoughts and actions determined by HIStory.

Like a tapestry, woven together with various threads of gold, silver and black, so is your husband’s life story. Each major event is represented in that tapestry. There may be one single gold or silver thread that goes throughout representing the one person that brought him hope throughout his childhood and into his adult years. That may be his parents, grandparents, a special teacher, God, church, or a number of other people of things.

You may find patches of black and gray throughout representing the more difficult times of his life. Every one of those dark patches of fabric, whether in the past or present, represent an intricate detail in his past. And no matter how long you are married, you may never know what each of those patches represent. The pain may be too deep or he simply may not be able to articulate how he felt at that time.

But when he met you, he began to add more and more patches of beautiful bright colors. Swirls of varying shades of thread. The tapestry began to look like a work of art. As you have continued in life, you have helped to either add bright colors to his tapestry or darker ones, depending on how you’ve responded to various situations throughout your marriage together.

Red, orange, Yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet – all the colors of the rainbow – represent you. Threads of silver and gold attaching the various patches together is your family.

Every man has a tapestry. His life was woven together in stages. But no matter what color the patches were in the beginning, you have the ability to completely alter the look of this piece of art that represents his life.

A beautifully embroidered patch lies in the middle representing the very first day you said, “I love you.” Another patch with the picture of the sun rising represents the day you said, “I do.” But I have a question for you. What patches are you adding to his tapestry now?

Have you become frustrated over the small, insignificant things in life and unknowingly begun to add dark colors? Have you allowed temporary things, like financial strains, affect the color of the patches you’re adding to the tapestry of his life.

On this last day of the School of Marriage, I encourage you to take an honest assessment of what sort of colors you might be adding to your husband’s tapestry. Look at yourself as that one person who is able to ensure no matter how his tapestry began, when he gets to the end of his life and spreads his tapestry across the wall of his mind, he’ll see how you brightened every aspect of his life. How you gave him an existence beyond what he could have ever hoped or dreamed. How your love and never-ending kind words brought sunshine to his life every day.

Here’s the beauty of a tapestry. Each day, as you add new patches of fabric, it continues telling a very unique story. Today can be the day you purpose in your heart to only add beautiful colors and fabrics to his life for all his remaining days. Today can be the day you realize, beside God, you are the most important part of his tapestry. You hold in your hand so much of his heart. You may not have realized this until today, but you are the seamstress that has been sewing together the pieces of his life since the moment you said I Do.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).