1) Just say yes. One thing that I’ve learned is to exercise the power in just saying YES. I tend to get so off into my routine and that can be boring. It’s easy to start to associate your partner with the monotony of your daily routine. Saying yes to new things helps bring forced adventure into your life. 

2) Learn things individually. Try unusual things. It makes you shift and talk about different things and it keeps everything interesting. There are things you can do as an individual. Put an effort toward continuing to learn new things or reading new things. You gain new and different things to talk about. This helps your partner find you more engaging.

3) Express positivity. I always try to make sure my husband knows that I am happy to see him. I go out of my way to express that to him. There’s this level of respect that keeps in that space. It becomes a reciprocally positive tone. 

4) Laugh. Laughter is so important in a happy, fulfilling marriage. I think there’s this myth out there that men can let go and laugh with friends but sometimes don’t show that side of themselves to their wives. Laughter is so helpful. 

5) Extend your idea of foreplay. It’s an amazing concept to start to recognize that foreplay has nothing to do with the bedroom. Laird empties the dishwasher in the morning and I love that. Appreciating all those little things can lead you into the bigger things.

6) Protect the mystery. I tend to believe in exercising a little bit of discretion. It’s important to keep the mystery alive in your marriage by being subtle. I don’t need to do every personal thing in front of my husband.

7) Strike the balance between independent and giving.  I try to achieve a combination of being independent and bending over backwards for my partner. I believe that it precipitates this good feeling and inspires us to both behave well. It’s a gear shift where you are your own person and defined but you will do many loving things for your husband as well.