5 Ways to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Marriage

Earlier today, I had the pleasure of sitting with a wonderful group of women in Atlanta as a part of my 12-City Coffee Talk Tour (I’m in Chicago today if you can find the time to join us).

What I’ve loved most about going from city to city and speaking with women in this community is being surrounded by such positive energy.

I can’t even explain how encouraging it is to connect face-to-face with women who believe in the power of love, the beauty of marriage, and the joy of a lifelong union.

During our conversation, someone said, “Marriage is hard work.” Her comment reminded me of something a couple I once interviewed said, “Maybe the work in marriage is in getting it not to feel like work.”

That led us to an insightful conversation about the difference between “work” and “effort” and how the outcome of those two things can vary greatly. I look forward to sharing more from that conversation with you this week.

As I read this guest post by HWC contributor, Aesha Roberts, I thought, this ties in perfectly as a great example of the type of efforts we can make consistently to keep the spark alive in our marriages.

Simple and small efforts that can yield great reward.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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I recently read a shocking statistic about marriage in a post from the New York Times: According to research, the passion and happiness a couple feels after they say “I do” typically only lasts two years.

As a happy wife who has been married for 7 years I can confidently say that it doesn’t have to be this way!

Research in the science of love reveals that it’s really simple to keep the spark alive in your marriage. I’ve boiled it down to 5 simple practices that can take as little as 5 minutes per day.

You’re probably doing some or all of these things already, but when we do them with purpose and intention they become powerful!

5 Ways to Keep the Spark Alive In Your Marriage

1) Appreciation: Look for new things to appreciate about your husband. For example, watch him for 48 hours and then say, “I love watching you (fill in the blank with something amazing about your husband).” This will help you see him in new ways and make him feel loved and valued.

2) Spontaneity: I admit that this is a challenge for me, given the way that I love to plan everything. However, I experienced how amazing it can be to do things on the spur of the moment when my husband arranged a double date complete with a sitter in a matter of hours and whisked me away to enjoy a fun date night!

3) Novelty: Simply doing something in a new way can re-ignite the passion in your relationship. For example, instead of just going out to dinner, try restaurant hopping. Go to one place for appetizers, another for your main course and another restaurant for desert.

4) Variety: As much as my family loves the organic roasted chicken I make for dinner, they don’t want to eat it every night! The same could be said about many of the routines we have in our marriage, especially in the bedroom. Be intentional about spicing things up, especially between the sheets!

5) Surprise: This can be as simple as stealing a passionate kiss when your husband least expects it, or as elaborate as planning a weekend getaway to a local bed & breakfast.

It’s easy to get used to the things that make us feel good about being married such as routines, comfort, and security. The good news is that keeping the spark alive in your relationship doesn’t have to be complicated! Start with these 5 simple tips, 5 minutes per day and watch the love and passion in your marriage go to another level!

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Aesha Adams-Roberts

Aesha Adams Roberts, PhD is a relationship expert who teaches the secrets to finding and keeping the love of your life. She blogs about dating, marriage, and family life at AeshaOnline.com. Aesha is a highly sought after speaker, singer & songwriter and is a happily married, homeschooling mom of 2.