The UnPerfect Wife

By Fawn Weaver on Monday, October 15, 2012

I love being married.  I truly believe I have the most perfect husband God could have created for me.  He’s not perfect; but he is perfect for me.  I am, on the other hand, perfectly unperfect.  When I mentioned the title of this blog post to Keith his response was, “Unperfect isn’t a word.  Why not imperfect?”  Fair question. 

For some reason, “imperfect” isn’t a word I’m drawn to it when describing my role as a wife.  It doesn’t seem accurate.  When I think about something that is imperfect, I think of something slightly less than perfect.  But when I think about the kind of wife I hope to one day become, versus the wife I am today, there is a pretty large gap between where I am now and where I aspire to be.

Remember when I asked Keith a couple months ago, “If you graded me as a wife on a scale of 1-to-10, with 10 being highest what would I score?”  Do you remember his humbling response?  I committed that day to focus on becoming a better wife; a slightly imperfect wife.  And then I did nothing.  

I settled back into being the unperfect wife I’ve always been, work oftentimes coming first, and my husband remaining loving and understanding that I have so much on my plate.  But he’s always been understanding of the amount of work I have on my plate.  For nearly 10 years he’s accepted this about me.  But I recognize, it’s time I took on less work and became more intentional in my marriage.

I’ve always said, “The grass is greener on my side of the fence because I make a conscious effort to water and tend to it daily.”  But recently, I’ve begun seeing a few brown patches here and there and I know it’s because I’ve failed to consistently water in a few areas.  

So beginning today -not tomorrow, but today- I’m determined to become a better wife to this fabulous husband of mine.  Not because he’s made (or even alluded to) this request but because I recognize it’s easy to get lazy in marriage and become so comfortable in my relationship that I don’t feel the need to put in effort daily.  And a great marriage -an extraordinary relationship that lasts a lifetime- requires a daily effort.  And my husband, the wonderful man he is and has always been, deserves the best.  

Question: Has there been a time in your marriage where you realized you were becoming lazy and taking your relationship for granted?  What did you do to kick-start intentional living in that area again?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

 

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