The One Thing You Should Know About Marriage

By Fawn Weaver on Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The One Thing You Should Know About Marriage

A few days ago, I received the following note from Cheryl on our Facebook community page:

“Just wanted to take a minute to thank you for being here. Hubby was unemployed for 17 months. We lost all our retirement savings (we are both close to 60). Went without food, electricity, sold our belongings just to survive.

I had a lot of residual anger over the whole thing that ended up pointed toward my husband because he was the only other person in the house.

My therapist said that I should write a long letter that I don’t send to get all my anger out and I did start the letter. That same day, I ran across your Facebook page.

I realized it would take the same amount of effort to be angry at him as it would to learn to love him again. So I ‘liked’ your page, put the letter in the trash can and started focusing on loving my husband again.

We are still in a bad place financially and might lose the house, but we don’t care. As long as we are together, nothing else matters. Thank you so much for coming along when I needed your help. Angels show up in the most interesting places. Blessings from Kansas.”

I read the note to Keith that morning and his reaction was pretty much the same as mine (albeit, without the added tears that filled my eyes), “That is awesome, Honey!”  Then he paused a moment to further ponder what I’d just read.  

The Happy Wives Club is doing exactly what we set out to do.

No one gets married hoping one day it’ll fall apart (at least no one I’ve ever met).  But life happens and those small things many were once willing to overlook -quirks, idiosyncrasies, imperfections, failures- all of a sudden become the main focus.

A world full of broken, jaded and hardened hearts is a dangerous world to live.  A place where broken homes are the majority is a disheartening existence.  But you can help change that.  You already have.  

By remaining positive and optimistic about marriage, sharing your wonderful experiences of love, you’re causing people to look at their own marriages and figure out a way to fix what has become broken rather than turn and run the other way.

You may not realize how many people, like Cheryl, you are encouraging just by having a happy and healthy marriage.  You likely have no clue how many you have healed just by being you.  But I want to encourage you that it’s more than you think.

The one thing you should know about marriage is how much yours matters.  You, my friend, are changing the world.  Your loving marriage heals hearts and the homes in which they reside.  Keep loving.  Keep shining.  And never forget how important your marriage is to those around you.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

 

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  • Maile

    I am in that place – not angry with him, not blaming him, just loving him. He’s been unemployed and we’ve been homeless for over a year, retirement is gone, we rely on the state and family/friends for help as we have 5 kids. No one plans for this – we were doing so well, sudden changes in circumstances beyond our control sent us on this incredible journey. By the grace of God we are still together, still in love and sharing God’s love.
    Am I happy with the situation – definitely not. Am I happy with my husband and our children – definitely yes.

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Wow, Maile. I am so grateful you stopped by and shared your story so it can encourage others. No one can even begin to fathom what you have been going through this past year (and likely even longer) but what we can do is continue to strengthen our marriages with the same love and resolve you’ve chosen in your own. We’re rooting for you!

  • Tricia Goyer

    This is so encouraging! It’s amazing how when we fix our attitudes our heart finding healing! Thank you for all you do, Fawn!

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thank you for all you do, Tricia! Even if all you did was love your family, that would be more than enough, but you do that and show others how to love their own and that’s a beautiful thing.

  • Maria

    Wow this is amazing! It is worth sharing.

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      That’s definitely how I felt, Maria. Thanks for stopping by! <3

  • Stephanie

    Love this Fawn! Such a great reminder!!!!

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thanks, Stephanie, for being such a wonderful reminder of what marriage is supposed to look like :) .

  • Melinda Todd

    I love this! We went through the loss of our house. It is hard but it is just a house. 2 years later and God provided for us in ways I still can’t get over! Thank you for sharing something positive! We all need to focus on what is right and good in our marriages in order to keep it together.

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      It’s all about that teamwork, right? We can climb twice as high and go twice as far together. So happy to hear about another “turnaround” story here. Such a beautiful thing!

  • Leslie Swan

    That is so amazing! Congrats on making such a difference and reminding everyday people like me to focus on the positives in their marriage rather than the negatives.

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thanks, Leslie! So appreciate you posting this note. We are encouraging ourselves along the way :) .

  • Maria Masala

    Thanks for the encouragement. We are in the middle of an extended family feud and have almost all relatives on either side hating us. We are fighting for our marriage to be given the God-given respect it deserves, but it is hard with all this hate coming our way. Thank you for saying that marriage is so important. It’s a little less lonely knowing there are other peopole who have a healthy vision of marriage.

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Oh my gosh, that must feel awful to be stuck in the middle of that! The beautiful thing is you and your husband are fighting for your marriage and staying above the fray. At the end of the day, it’s your own household that has to be happy and you are the only two that can make it that way so everyone else bringing drama is welcome to stand on the front porch :) . Stay strong, Maria! You’re encouraging so many around you and didn’t even know it.

  • Amy Morgan

    We are in the same place. Some days are better than others. He bought me a sign for my wall that says, “It doesn’t matter where you go in life…..it’s who you have beside you along the way.”

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      What a fantastic sign!

  • Maggie Reyes

    I LOVE THIS:

    The one thing you should know about marriage is how much yours matters. – Fawn Weaver.
    That neeeeeds to be a pin!
    THANK YOU FAWN – I so believe each of helps heal the world one love at a time.
    Inspired!
    Maggie

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      You’re too cute, Maggie! I’m with you…”heal the world one love at a time.” :)

  • Shari Lynne

    I absolutely couldn’t agree more Fawn! When my husband and I have had troubles in our marriage we always look to the One who created marriage in the first place…and if He is for us..then who can be against us! It has been worth every struggle along the way to have received the blessings we have today! We must keep our hearts soft toward the Lord and our spouses..at all costs! :) Fellow world changer!! :D
    Blessings!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Love hearing the story of how you guys fought your way to where you are today. Beautiful love story (with some twists and turns along the way :) ).

  • mayra

    My best friend celebrated her 14 th wedding anniversary by herself yesterday. Her wonderful husband lost his three year battle with cancer last week. My heart goes out to her. We should cherish our husbands because we are not guaranteed tomorrow.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      My mother lost her husband (and my dad) last year just shy of their 40th anniversary. Tomorrows are not guaranteed and wise is the woman who cherishes her husband (and vice versa).

  • tidbitsofexperience

    My husband and I have a strong marriage, but yet we’re in a rocky state right now due to the fact that he’s got a new management position. With that position, comes longer hours of him being gone. I suffer with major insecurity issues due to the abuse I’ve endured. So, we are really and truly in a pickle of a position.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      I’m so bummed to hear this. Hang in there. Look at it as temporary and hold on to your love with everything you’ve got. We’re rooting for you!

  • Jennie May

    Cheryl’s note brought tears to my eyes as well, what great note! The wisdom she shares in focusing on loving him is true and exactly why most marriages can be happy and successful! Great newsletter Fawn, Thank You!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      The crazy part is I’ve read it several times and it pulls at my heartstrings every single time :) . Thanks for the note on the newsletter! :)

  • mary

    I really love this message. Thumb up for the team. Stay blessed would be sharing with my friends on facebook

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thanks, Mary! Appreciate the encouragement.