The Marriage Effect: How Being Married Makes You Happier & How to Keep It That Way

By Maggie Reyes on Thursday, June 19, 2014

The Marriage Effect - II

Create the life you love with the love of your life.  That’s the tagline of one of my favorite marriage blogs, ModernMarried.com.

Life coach, Maggie Reyes, is the founder and main writer on Modern Married and I’m always tickled pink when she hops over to Happy Wives Club to share some of her boundless energy.

I know you love her as much as I do because some of the most popular posts on this site -like this one shared 178,000 times and counting- were written by Maggie.  

First she taught us about a daily vitamin, Vitamin F2, for our marriages and now she’s teaching us a slightly different version of the standard “Double D.”

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

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We love a little research here at the Happy Wives Club and here is the scoop – study after study shows that being married not only results in more frequent and better quality sexual experiences, it also helps us sleep better and have significantly better mental and physical health.

That doesn’t mean marriage can’t be hard sometimes. A good marriage makes you happier but a bad marriage, as we all know, can have an equally profound negative effect on different areas of your life.

This is one of the reasons we celebrate, encourage and model what happy marriages look like. Because we don’t just want you to become a member of the club. We want you to remain a member for years to come.

If you are wondering how marriage makes you happier, beyond the obvious things we know and see every day, here is one fun side-effect of marriage:

Holding your husband’s hand relieves pain.

A study at the University of Virginia studied brain scans that showed that wives holding their husband’s hand reduced the appearance of stress and had calmed the same regions of the brain that an analgesic drug does (think Tylenol or Advil).

Great excuse to hold hands right now, right?

Overall, being married still has a huge impact on your happiness.

I know you can feel that every day, but scientifically, studies also show that for the average person, the quality of their marriage is the factor with the second highest correlation with their life satisfaction (behind genetics) – so finding ways to be happy in your marriage will affect your entire life.

Want to stay married and stay happy?

Go Double D: Date Nights & Deep Conversations

These two simple things will increase both your happiness levels and your marriage satisfaction.

It has been proven over and over again that couples that have new experiences together release the same chemicals in their bodies they had when they were dating – bringing back that newlywed feeling.

This does not have to be complicated. Even if it’s just going to the new burger place around the corner, trying new things will gradually increase both your set point for happiness and your level of satisfaction in your marriage.

Think of easy, doable things as simple as going to a different grocery store or driving back home a different way – whatever you ARE doing right now, see how you can tweak it to add some novelty to it. And I always recommend starting small vs. not starting at all.

Having deep conversations is also important because time after time we see that couples that have intimate knowledge of each other’s lives feel happier, more connected and stay married.

The latest research is not only about couples, but in general – small talk was compared to deep intimate conversations and people who engaged in the deeper conversations reported much higher levels of happiness.

YOUR TURN: Have you noticed a great side-effect of marriage in your life that you didn’t expect? Please share in the comments.

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Happy Wives Club Book

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book line none other.  Guaranteed.

Maggie Reyes

Life Coach, Writer + the Founder of ModernMarried.com
Maggie Reyes is a Life Coach, Writer + the Founder of ModernMarried.com. Her romantic-yet-practical approach to wedded bliss has been featured on Project Happily Ever After, Daybreak USA, Cristina XMRadio and Military Spouse Magazine. When she’s not writing, working or creating pins for her fabulous Facebook Community, you can find her cuddling with her hubby, reading a romance novel or embracing how the words “over-achiever” and “TV Junkie” can still go in the same sentence, to describe the same person. Learn how to love like a newlywed no matter how long you have been married at ModernMarried.com.

 

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  • Kaylie Breen

    I love this!! People seriously think I’m crazy when I say that I love being married! They act like it’s supposed to be miserable and awful, but I’ve never been happier! In a month we’ll celebrate our first anniversary and it’s truly been the best year of my entire life :)

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      So happy you’re not listening to any of that nonsense, Kaylie! Marriage, just like life, it what you make it. What you put in is what you pull out and all the positivity you’re putting in is going to reap dividends like you wouldn’t believe. Congrats!

      • http://www.modernmarried.com/ Maggie Reyes

        Fawn- I love your no-nonsense face – I can imagine it right now! :-)

    • http://www.modernmarried.com/ Maggie Reyes

      Kaylie – people actually ask me, “are you for real?” with confused looks on their faces. Yeppers, peppers I am! Goofy and Happy and REAL! Congrats on your first anniversary!

      • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

        Yeppers peppers – only you, Maggie! Only you. And that’s why we adore you!!

    • Melanie Filandro

      Yes I agree!! I get the same thing. I have been married for two months and i can’t wait to do life with my husband. I love being married!! Such a beautiful thing!! If only every one could understand how amazing it really is! :)

      • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

        So very true! Love seeing both of your comments here!

  • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

    I can attest to the positive impact of new experiences on the overall joy in the marriage. It is something my hubby and I have done, not always on purpose, that has kept the happiness and romance in our marriage. It’s good to have the knowledge that being intentional about this is so good for marriage. Thanks!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Keith and I say that too. So much of what has contributed to our marriage we didn’t do on purpose. But we’re so grateful it happened!

    • http://www.modernmarried.com/ Maggie Reyes

      Yes! new experiences – especially simple ones, ROCK!

  • mary

    I have been married for 20 years, and have two wonderful kids. I think one of the “side effects” is how much I love having dinner toguether, and how I enjoy the whole meal experience. When I was single I ate in my car a lot, and didn’t stop to enjoy it. For the last 20 years, dinner is a duo event. Once a week we will all have dinner toguether, but for the most part my kids eat earlier and toguether, I sit with them abd talk about anything they want. But at 8 pm when kids go down, my hubby and I have our dinner.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Such a great habit to have in your marriage. Fabulous.

  • Real Truth

    Well when you have a life to share with the one you love, it really makes you much happier and healthier. And that certainly explains why married men will always live much longer than us single men. But the trouble is that many of us good serious men can’t meet a good woman today to share our life with since all the good ones are taken.