The Date Night Dilemma

By Paula Rollo on Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Do you wrestle with the date night dilemma?

Because sometimes, for one reason or another, the traditional “date night” out at a restaurant, or to see a movie, is just not possible. 

Maybe you don’t have it in the budget, or you are choosing to save your money for something else.

Perhaps your children are keeping you from being able to go out as often as you once did.

Maybe you or your spouse are one of the people that don’t like the phrase “date night” being used, after marriage. All of these things are perfectly fine, and normal! 

I will let you in on a little secret today; It doesn’t matter what you are doing, it matters who you are doing it with. 

What is most important is not the title that you put on your evening or the extravagant restaurants that you visit. What matters is that you and your spouse regularly take time to deepen and grow your relationship. 

That could mean dinner and a movie out on the town, or it could be the way you talk and laugh as you cook dinner together each night. 

Maybe for you, it’s sitting playing board games together or lying in bed talking for awhile before you drift off to sleep. 

It doesn’t always have to be scheduled, and babysitters are not always required. All that’s really needed is the two of you spending time connecting, however that works in your marriage. 

So don’t feel guilty if you can’t squeeze in that romantic candle lit dinner for 2 at your favorite restaurant. Instead, spend time connecting with your spouse in all the little (and big) chances that you do get throughout your time at home, and watch your relationship blossom. who you are doing it with

Do not let the logistics of date night become a point of contention in your marriage. Do what works for the two of you, and call it what you will. 

 

 

My Twitter profileMy Facebook profileMy Google+ profile

Paula Rollo

Paula Rollo: Paula & her hubby have been happily married for 4 years. They decided to tie the knot after knowing each other for just 35 days! They now have 2 rambunctious kiddos known as Little Man (2) and The Princess (7 mos). The family resides in Texas in a small but lively apartment. Paula and her hubby love to play board games, take long walks with the kids and they both LOVE the Texas heat! Paula also has a passion for writing. Her compositions have been featured many places around the web, including her own blog Beauty Through Imperfection where she writes about motherhood and strives to be an encourager through her writing.

Latest posts by Paula Rollo (see all)

 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are snarky, offensive, or off-topic. If in doubt, read My Comment Policy
  • Happy wife?!? Where?

    I do not agree with “it doesn’t matter what you’re doing for date night, it matters who you’re doing with” because me and my husband have been doing things at home like watch a movie and it is not the same as going out, because you just zoom out in front of a screen and can’t talk, or make love or conect in any way. Mys husband likes action movies wich usually are violent and bloody, I like romance and drama wich he never want to watch and when he pretends he wants it just to please me, he mocks the movie so much I get upset and we even fight because of it. Reading books has the same efect! I would preffer sex but my husbabd acts like he doesn’t like it that much… So 8 years have gone by and we are as lonely and miserable as before getting married… Actually we’re worse now! So please, don’t fall for the watching- a- movie- together thing cuz it doesn’t work!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      It just depends on the marriage. I absolutely love snuggling with my husband on the couch and it’s a wonderful time of connection for us. Of course, we also spend time connecting daily in ways that don’t involve the TV but I don’t know that we have to throw the baby out with the bathwater. What works for you and your husband -together- is what each of us discovers on our own.

      • Happy wife?!?where?

        Well, I married a philosopher, maybe I’m just being influenced by his thoughts about it :) but I fail to see how to people can conect in front of a tv, when both are tuned into the movie that is playing and pehaps not may not even be in accordance with one’s taste. There’s no talk envolved, there’s no true conection being made, maybe just a superficial one, wich as the time goes by one might finally come to see how empty that is. If a couple doesn’t have kids it will be harder to understand what it means to go out kids-free… But don’t mind me, nobody needs to agree with my opinions ;)

        • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

          It must be interesting being married to a philosopher :) . I can’t speak for everyone but I can tell you how my husband and I connect even while at a movie theater or watching television. We hold hands, I rest my head on his shoulder or his lays his head on my lap. I stroke his head when it’s on my lap and reach down and give him kisses ever so often. He does the same when I’m resting on him. And anything that happens in the movie that reminds us of each other, we’ll look at each other and just laugh and smile. But then again, don’t mind me because I’m a believer that you can connect doing anything if that is your desire.

    • paula

      The purpose of this post was to point out that you can connect ANYWHERE. Each of us has our different things that work for us, and don’t work for us. My husband and I don’t consider movies a “date night” ourselves, but we find other ways to connect at home. Each couple connects in different ways, and the purpose of this post, was to encourage couples who may not get to go out on dates in the traditional sense, that they can find ways to connect at home, in whatever way that works for them (be it chats at home, or cooking together, or movies if that’s what works for a particular couple). Hope that clears up any misunderstanding <3

      • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

        I probably should clarify that we don’t use movie nights for our date nights either :) . But I still love movie night and find it to be a great way to connect. Thanks, Paula!

  • Lynda

    I have been happily married for many years.
    At home movie nights for us are fun.
    We decide on the movie, chose a snack, sometimes it is a full dinner in front of the tv that we have cooked/baked together.
    The point for us is that we are relaxed and that we enjoy being with each other. We trust each other we are safe with each other, which adds to the wonderful evening we have planned.
    We each have a clicker so we can stop the movie and rewind a scene or talk about what just happened or LOL together.
    We have never been able to afford to just go out. So when we do it is not a movie. It will be a concert, or a restaurant or a museum etc. Again the two of us choose together. We do compromise but the theme s fun for the two of us, together,

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      That’s really cool! I’d never thought about that before. Great idea.