The #1 Financial Tip For Couples on a Budget

By Fawn Weaver on Monday, July 1, 2013

The No. 1 Financial Tip for Couples on a Budget

I’ve heard many opinions on this topic and I’ve also heard arguments against why my #1 recommended financial tip doesn’t matter as long as a couple is “responsible.”

Well, for all those who aren’t as responsible with money as you’d like to one day become, here’s something my husband and I began doing years ago when we paid off our debt and we continue to this day.  

It has easily become our top financial tip for couples who ask our advice on this topic (well, this and doing your best to spend less than you make :) ).

Allowances.

My husband and I both have a monthly allowance.  Yes, I realize this is something most teenagers have when they’re young and grow out of after graduation.

However, for those who find themselves short on cash month-after-month (maybe even year-after-year), I highly recommend giving this a try. 

Here’s how it works in our household:

First, we place all of our income into a joint household account.  Household necessities, tithes, charitable contributions, etcetera, all come from this main account.

Secondly, on the first of each month, we write two separate allowance checks; one for Keith and one for me.  Years ago, we both determined the amount of funds we’d need monthly for all of our necessities and a bit of “play” money.  Of course, when we were working to pull ourselves out of debt, our allowances included very little discretionary funds. 

Thirdly, we each take our checks and deposit them into our separate “allowance” bank accounts.  These checking accounts have debit cards attached so our individual spending each month comes solely from these accounts.  

(NOTE: We determined allowance amounts based on who usually pays for what.  For instance, I do the grocery shopping, so that amount is included in my allowance.  Keith pays for all date nights, so that amount is included in his allowance.)

Lastly, and possibly most importantly, whatever amount you agree to, stick to it.  This ensures a cap on your spending and will help you predetermine the amount of money that will be spent each month.  

There have been times when I’ve spent all but the last dime of my allowance several days early and canned chicken became our dinner (not kidding).  Do that enough times and you’ll learn how to better control your spending throughout the month.  I certainly have.

For decades, money woes have destroyed marriages.  In mine, it made us stronger.  We looked at debt as a financial challenger (rather than a challenge) and joined forces to defeat it rather than allowing such a vincible foe to weaken our relationship.  If finances have ever been a challenge in your marriage, team up and fight against it.  What force can defeat your united front?  Not a one. 

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

 

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  • http://longingsend.com/ sheila @ LongingsEnd.com

    Love the idea of an allowance, Fawn. Great tip! Thanks.

  • Rachael DeBruin

    Great tip! We were doing it, but fell out of habit. Good reminder to get back in the saddle so to speak :)

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      We all need these reminders (even me) because I realized I’ve relaxed on this a bit too. Not too much but I can certainly do better and tighten the reins a bit..

  • Kristen

    I’m curious why household expenses like groceries come out of your allowance? Why wouldn’t that come out of the joint account?

    • Amanda Reid

      I had the same thought and would love to know the author’s reasoning.

      • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

        Sure! Thanks, Kristen and Amanda for asking. I don’t want to repeat the same answer twice but my response to the “Guest” comment above explains my rationale. It has worked great in our household for nearly 10 years but everyone does it differently and what matters most is it works for you. We found it easier to control the expense this way because I have direct oversight of that expenditure. Hope that makes better sense :) .

  • Guest

    why do those household exprenses come out of your allowance? My hubby and I did it like my parents did….. :-) We have a common bankaccount for ALL our necessary expenses like the rent for the flat,car, telephone, electrcitiy. Then we decided what amount we monthly(!!) need to split to cover all other expenses we have like food, household, birthdays, car insurance, tax, holidays during the year. This will let you have a total (almost same) amount every month. And last but not least we agreed about a “pocket money” for each. Pocket money includes all those extra-expenses (which I loved to do), for like those 13 th pair of shoes I actually dont need :-) or the Girlie-weekend with my bff. Or for him for his Online-Poker games or anything else. This is totaly super, becuase we dont argue about money any longer. Try it and you will be happy :-)

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      The reason they come out of my allowance is we wanted to put a cap on spending so we each have areas we’re responsible for keeping under control. For instance, entertainment and date night come out of my husband’s allowance instead of the main account. He’s in control of making sure that expenditure stays below a certain amount (because that can quickly get out of control for us). The groceries were the same way. We weren’t nearly as frugal as we should have been in this area (creating waste, etc). Having me in charge of this keeps this line item in check. But this is just the way we do it in our household and we love it! Been doing it this way for nearly 10 years. Sounds like the way you’re doing it works beautifully for your household, as well, and that’s all that matters!

  • christine

    Probably because its best to access the main account as little as possible and groceries need to be done weekly. Me and my husband do the same but instead we take out cash every week including grocery money for me.

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Yep, Christine. You’re exactly right! We realized early on that all those trips to the grocery store add up and if one of us didn’t have “ownership” over that expense, it would quickly deplete the main account.

  • http://momstheword--livingforhim.blogspot.com/ Nan

    My hubby and I are pretty frugal too and having certain “rules” and a budget is what helps keep couples from overspending. Before the kids were born, and we were both working, we had a rule that we would never spend over $100 without talking to one another. Now it’s more like $20, lol! That does not include groceries. It’s just an extra “check” that we both agreed to to keep our spending in line!

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      This is a great idea, Nan! Love how that $100 dropped to $20 post-kids :) . Thanks for adding this tip. It’s especially helpful for those not comfortable with having separate accounts to still have a checks and balances in place.

  • Stacey

    I LOVE this allowance idea! In fact, my hubby and I have been doing allowance for years. It works great, and there is no fighting over money (or what we buy with it). I’m visiting from MM and am glad I found you! Great pots. :)

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thanks, Stacey! What is MM? Our version of MM is Marriage Mondays but I’m not sure if that’s what you’re referencing. If not, feel free to post the link for MM so we can see how you found us. And thanks a ton for your comment! <3

      • Stacey

        lol – my bad!! ;) For me, MM is Messy Marriage (I’m a guest writer). I believe you already link up with Beth, but the link is http://www.messymarriage.com/2013/06/trophy-wife.html. Thanks, and have a GREAT day!! :)

        • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

          Oh yes, I do link up with Messy Marriage! That’s great. Thanks for sharing Stacey :) .

  • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

    Great thought Fawn! I love how this tip encourages financial clarity, openness and maturity. Any couple can tweak it to best suit their situation, as my husband and i have done at various stages. great tip!

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thanks, Ngina! Absolutely. We’ve also tweaked it over the years to best suit our needs. It’s all about growth and progress, right? Thanks so much for stopping by, Ngina. Heading over to your blog too :) .

  • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

    Great post, Fawn, on the critical role money can play in our marriages!

    While we never fought about money, we encouraged each other to do lots of stupid.

    Now we have a zero based budget, a la Dave Ramsey. Every month all the money goes into one place, and every dollar has a name attached to it: groceries, insurance, etc. We each get a set amount of Fun Money to spend as we wish. While this is slightly different from Fawn and Keith, I have learned that every couple has to find a system that works for their circumstances and goals.

    From my time as a Financial Peace Facilitator, I know this allowance/fun money has saved a lot of headaches and fights for couples. They have agreed up front to a certain amount of money that can be spent any way each individual chooses.

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Us too! This was totally us: “While we never fought about money, we encouraged each other to do lots of stupid.” We, too, are Total Money Makeover alumni and recommend that Dave Ramsey book to everyone we know wanting to pay off debt.

  • ourstoriesgodsglory

    I think this is a brilliant idea. My husband and I have worked out a budget together…with a cash box. But we tend to overlook our own spending. What a great way to take care of this problem. I’m willing to try…though I know I’m the spender and I’ll be the one to try to find a way around this limit.

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      And there are always so many ways around these self-imposed limits so the more categories you separate out for direct oversight, the better. Meaning, if the groceries fall solely under one person, entertainment/date night falls under one person, etc. There’s a personal responsibility there. That’s the only way it worked for us otherwise our budget was just a bunch of numbers on a piece of paper :) .

  • MrsLGaston

    Thank you for this advice. My husband and I are trying to get on a better budget system that will WORK!!!!

  • Albert einstien

    Awesome!
    Immense information there.

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