21-Day Valentine’s Challenge: Extending the Romance Beyond Today

By Christine St. Vil on Friday, February 14, 2014

21-Day Valentines Day Challenge

Ten years ago, Keith and I celebrated what was likely our last Valentine’s Day.  For weeks, I knew he had something big in the works and I was over the moon excited.

You see, in grade school, I was the awkward-looking girl who never got one of those neat candy grams with the red heart suckers and “will you be mine” notes.  So my entire life, I wanted to experience a beautiful Valentine’s Day.

So for our first Valentine’s Day as husband and wife, Keith meticulously planned the most amazing day I could possibly imagine.  It culminated with dinner in the city where he proposed, San Francisco.

At the end of our culinary delight, the waiter brought over the check.  As Keith was signing it, I caught a glance from across the table and let out an audible gasp.

It was at that moment I decided I never wanted him to feel pressured to create the perfect Valentine’s Day again.  

That’s why I love this post by HWC contributor, Christine St. Vil.  It takes this day that celebrates love and romance and extends it so there isn’t a pressure to do it all in one day.

So if you’re looking for a fun idea to continue the romance well beyond today, take this 21-day Valentine’s challenge.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

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I still remember the very first Valentine’s Day that my husband (then boyfriend) and I spent together nearly 15 years ago. He surprised me by cooking a steak dinner at home (and he by no means enjoyed cooking), and actually spent time going clothes shopping for me (he still doesn’t care to shop at all). The night was complete with chocolate, a teddy bear and lavender roses (my favorite).

All these years later, while I love spending time together and celebrating Valentine’s Day, it has nothing to do with the actual day. I see it as a day to celebrate the love of my life and all the joy he’s brought me many years later (and of course, I love flowers!). Yes, Valentine’s Day is sweet, but every day is Valentine’s Day in our house. So I thought it’d be great to start a marriage love challenge to emphasize that our love goes way beyond one day of the 365 in the year.

21 Day Romance Challenge

Week 1

Day 1 – February 14thLeave a love note. Surprise your hubby and write him a short love note about why you appreciate him. Stick it in his lunch bag, on the seat of his car, in his jacket pocket, or anywhere else he’ll be surprised to find it.

Day 2 – February 15thHug and hug again. A good hug can be a powerful unspoken word. Take time today to snuggle up and cuddle with your man.

Day 3 – February 16thAsk him what he needs. When was the last time you offered your hubby some help before he asked you for it? Ask him what would make his day today and then be sure to help him make it happen.

Day 4 – February 17th Thank him. Is there something your husband always does that comes as second nature? Maybe he’s the one who always cooks, or he always collects the trash, or makes sure you get some time in with your girlfriends. Whatever it is, be sure to thank him specifically for that thing.

Day 5 – February 18thShow your husband some love. But show him in the love language that he prefers. Have him take the quiz if you’re not sure. Understanding my husband’s love language was a huge eye opener for me.

Day 6 – February 19thFlirt. Remember how you used to tease and flirt with your man before you got married? Get back to your high school/college flirty girl kinda days. Ask him to choose your bra & panty set for the day, whisper sweet nothings in his ear, or touch him where/how you know he likes to be touched. The sky is the limit.

Day 7 – February 20thKiss. The focus today is on kissing, so kiss like you did before you were married. Let’s see if you can get all 25 of these kisses in today.

Week 2

Day 8 – February 21stAsk for his opinion. Yes, your tastes may differ and you may not always like what he has to say about certain things. But take a few minutes to ask his guidance on an important decision or project you’re working on.

Day 9 – February 22ndPray for him. Is there something you wish for your husband? Is there something he could do to improve your marriage? Do you wish he would go get his physical or tell you he loved you more? Today, don’t tell him (or in his opinion, nag him). Just put it in prayer.

Day 10 – February 23rd Slow dance. Get out your wedding song, and when he least expects it, turn it on and take him by the hand. Be in the moment and reminisce on the day you exchanged vows. Put it on and repeat if you have to.

Day 11 – February 24thHis wish is your command. What is one hobby your husband enjoys that you don’t necessarily care for? Today, put your feelings aside and surprise him with his favorite hobby.

Day 12 – February 25thCook his favorite dish. And if you don’t cook, take him to his favorite restaurant. But you get to decide what’s for dessert *wink*

Day 13 – February 26thListen. No, really listen. Anytime your husband is speaking to you today, stop everything you’re doing and give him your undivided attention (yes that means stop tweeting, writing and checking Facebook messages).

Day 14 – February 27thText him. Send him a sweet text or picture message several times throughout the day (especially if you’re away from each other).

Week 3

Day 15 – February 28thLaugh. Laughter really is the best medicine. Find opportunities throughout the day to spend time laughing with your husband.

Day 16 – March 1stTalk to him. Use this day to share with your spouse any new dreams you have, and ask him about his.

Day 17 – March 2ndHave you taken any boudoir pictures yet? If not, find a place to make an appointment to get them done today, then surprise him with a photo book full of your glamor shots.

Day 18 – March 3rdGive. Today, focus on giving. Whether it’s an actual gift (big or small) or service, Give him a massage, a head rub, a gadget or maybe even just you. *wink*

Day 19 – March 4thWorkout together. Go to a gym or workout at home. Go for a walk or jog, or play a sport together. Get moving together and enjoy the cool down together too.

Day 20 – March 5thPlan a surprise date night. Is there a movie you’ve been wanting to watch or a new restaurant you’ve been wanting to check out? Make it happen tonight.

Day 21 – March 6thCompliment your spouse and shower him with words of praises. Let him know how much you admire him.

It doesn’t matter where you start in the challenge or how many times you go through each challenge. Just do it and enjoy the moments. And be sure to invite other happy wives to join in the challenge with you.

Will you be joining the challenge?

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Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities. Sign up at MomsNCharge.com for her FREE audio: The Truth About Mom Guilt: 3 Tips to Getting Over it so You Can FLY (First Love Yourself).

 

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  • Tiffany Joy Long

    You know, I love reading your stuff, but many times it just doesn’t work for me. Why? Because I have a child. I feel a lot of times your writing is geared for women who either 1- have no children or 2- they are grown up (or at least old enough to take care of themselves. My child is 1). I understand this is more of a suggestion than a “must do” and we can tweak it to what works for us (and yes there are many of these things I can do even with a child), but I would love to read some articles from mothers of young children of how to keep the flame alive with a little one running around your ankles all day long. :)

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Hi Tiffany! Totally understand and you are right, every tip and suggestion made here should be tweaked to fit your family, marriage and schedule. So never feel as though we’re suggesting you do these exactly like this (have fun with it, switch it up). And you’d actually be surprised at how many of our writers have young ones at home. Paula Rollo, for instance, has four little ones at home and the youngest is still breastfeeding. Paula writes alot in the Date Night section and her most recent post here was a couple weeks ago: http://www.happywivesclub.com/5-ways-to-keep-your-marriage-strong-through-crazy-work-schedules/. Of the 30+ writers we have for the site, I’d say at least a third has little ones at home. Hope that helps and I hope you have a beautiful (and simple :) ) Valentine’s Day with your husband. <3

      • Tiffany Joy Long

        Thank you for your replies! It helps knowing there are others with little ones trying to make this happen as well! :)

    • Christine St.Vil

      Hi Tiffany! Thanks so much for sharing, Fawn already gave some great tips! I’m one of the writers that has 3 little ones at home. So I love getting ideas from the date night articles here and other sites. It definitely takes some creativity to enjoy some alone time with they hubby :)

  • Carole Muga Benard

    This is awesome…love it to bits… #ExpressingLove

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Yeah!

    • Christine St.Vil

      Thank you Carole! :)

  • Gwendoline

    Every day is Valentine’s day for us. We don’t need one particular day to express our love for each other, we express it everyday, every chance we get. :-)

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Ditto here!

    • Christine St.Vil

      I agree Gwendoline! :)

  • Deborah

    Taking it beyond today! What a fantastic reminder. I’m sharing this with my husband. Thanks Christine

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Christine is pretty awesome, isn’t she?

      • Christine St.Vil

        Aww thank you Fawn!

      • Miriam

        Yes, you both are. You are both full of great ideas. I started a gratitude journal on Christmas that I will give to him this following Christmas. We are on the same track.

        • Miriam

          I should add that we have been married for 37 years this next anniversary. Every year really does get better for us. I did not think it could.

          • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

            Love it!

    • Christine St.Vil

      Thanks so much Deborah! Enjoy the challenge :)

  • Annett Davis

    I am so doing this!!! I am a homeschooling mom of 2, AND all of my friends have 2-7 kids too who would also love to do something like this. Anyone can do this, the daily tips are easy to make happen. :) I’m inviting all of my friends to join me in this challenge!!! In fact, I just made a private FB page for my girlfriends and I to keep each other accountable to cheer each other on and let us know the good things that come of this challenge! Valentine’s is one day, but our daily love that we share, helping, caring, and doing extra special things can happen Every Day like Christine said! I always think of other marriages too that may not be thriving like mine, and see how something like this can give it a GREAT boost. Sharing things like this really helps others so I’m spreading the word! Thanks Christine.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thanks for sharing that, Annett!

    • Christine St.Vil

      Thanks so much for sharing Annett! Yes, I was definitely trying to be mindful of the little ones with this challenge. That’s such a great idea to get friends involved to hold each other accountable!

  • KsGirl

    I’m doing this! For Day 1 I wrote out an A-Z “Reasons I love You” note for my husband, and gave it to him when we met for lunch. He read it before our meal came out, and I think it really made him feel loved and appreciated, even though I try to make him feel that way every day. Just writing out 26 different reasons that I think he’s super was nice not only for him to read, but for me as well. It made me stop and really think about things that I appreciate about my husband! :) I’m looking forward to the rest of this challenge!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Awesome!

    • Christine St.Vil

      Oh I love the A-Z love note! Thanks for sharing and enjoy the challenge :)

  • Andrea W

    Happy Friday!! Good 2 see I’m on the right track!!! I already do many of these tips. I left my Valentine his love note on his pillow this a.m. while he was outside warming the car 2 drop me off @ work. He’s retired! Celebrate a FAB weekend!!!!

    • Christine St.Vil

      Yay Andrea! I love it, enjoy your weekend :)

  • Ronnie_BMWK

    Great Idea….this is a great challenge!

    • Christine St.Vil

      Thanks so much Ronnie! :)

  • Luana Humble

    I am so happy I found this website! Sometimes I feel like an outcast because my hubby and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s day…but then I remind myself that we celebrate our relationship all the time! My hubby is thoughtful, kind and compassionate all the time. That’s Valentine’s day for me everyday :)

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Yes, and now you know there is a large group of happily married women who agree with you so no need to feel like an outcast :) .

  • Beautiful Kimberly

    I love this challenge. I’m IN!!!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Awesome!

  • Amanda

    We do much of this already, but it will be fun as I focus my efforts on it for the day. I just filled in my calendar and have it repeating yearly. So many ideas went through my head while filling in my calendar. Giddy about this! My husband and I were just talking about how this Valentine’s will just be a paper, very inexpensive one. This is perfect. I also added to the picture day to frame something we love or that speaks love and actually hang it that day. Or take a flirty but clean selfie. …and so on. I couldn’t/wouldn’t get a photo session every year. Maybe even one year we could get fun, playful, flirty pictures with just us two. Our wedding photos are getting outdated