When you think of “date night,” does getting dressed up or spending alot of money come to mind?

Have you ever thought, “I just don’t have time for a date night?”  If either of these thoughts describe you, this post by Christine St. Vil is for you!  

Christine gives us four easy ways to sneak date night into our marriages regularly.  And I hope she doesn’t mind but I’d like to add one more.

For the past eleven years, Keith and I have made it a priority to go on:

Starbucks Dates

We call them Starbucks dates but it’s sort of like calling all tissue Kleenex.  It just means we go on a date to a coffee house.  

Prior to becoming lactose intolerant, weekly Pinkberry dates were my absolute favorite (and on most weeks, we’d try to squeeze in a few of those after dinner).  

Date nights don’t need to be expensive, time consuming or cause either of you any sort of stress. Simplicity is best because its purpose is connection.  So if you are spending time alone -connecting- believe it or not, that is the most perfect kind of date.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

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One thing that I’ve come to realize since having kids is that alone time with my hubby is a precious commodity. And date night is something that we literally have to plan even if it means locking the bedroom door to let the kids know that “mommy and daddy are talking” (whatever that “talking” may be at that moment).

With us working opposite schedules (he works at night) and homeschooling the kids, we definitely have to be creative when it comes to spending time together. Up until recently, I viewed “date night” as something where we got a sitter, got dressed up and went out for a night out on the town. But seriously, we don’t always have time for all of that. So we are learning to be creative.

We’ll be celebrating nine years of marriage this year, and I know that in order to continue celebrating for decades to come, dating is an integral part of our marriage that we can’t afford to let fall by the wayside. It’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and all of the demands. But when I really think about what’s important in life, when I think about what matters the most…it’s my family, and the unit of our marriage that holds it together.

The words, “Date night” just mean, are you taking time to truly connect with your spouse in an environment that fosters love and communication? Once I understood this, I let go of the “date night” expectations that I had allowed to take over. It’s taken the pressure off both ends to simply view date night as quality time. Regardless of if we plan to do something, or plan to do nothing, the time spent together is all that is needed in that moment.

Here are a few easy ways to sneak date night into your marriage regularly:

Appetizer Date

Time is of the essence, I know. So if carving out an extra hour a day leaves your palms sweating, then start out by taking baby steps. Try 15-20 minutes of time set aside that is non-negotiable (unless it’s life and death). Think about the most important client meeting you’ve ever had or would like to have: just like you wouldn’t miss that one, intimate time with your spouse shouldn’t be missed either.

Breakfast Date

I am by far not a morning person…at all (especially since I work late into the night). But since hubby gets home by 7am, and the kids don’t generally wake until closer to 9am, it’s the perfect time for us to connect without distractions and interruptions.

Lunch Date

If you have the ability to do so, try meeting your spouse for lunch. If it’s too far, then see if you can meet halfway. Since life can get even more hectic in the evenings, a lunch date might work out best. Lunch dates can work well if both spouses either work from home or are both home during the day…there’s always room for dessert.

After Dinner Date

If you have smaller kids, set aside a schedule to tag team with your spouse to get them fed, bathed and in the bed at a decent time so that you can take advantage of the quiet house afterwards. Use this time to catch up on the best part of your days, and any pressing matters that need to be addressed.

While it’s nice to connect at the same time every day, I’ve found that flexibility is also key. Depending on our schedules, we may have to do a combination of these dates during the week.

QUESTION: What about you? How do you define date night in your marriage?

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