Seeing the Sunny Side of Marriage

By Fawn Weaver on Wednesday, September 26, 2012

**Guest post by Angie Merrill, founding member, Happy Wives Club**

This morning I read an intriguing article about retraining our brain so that we see the sunny side of every situation.  Elaine Fox, an Oxford psychologist, says that while studies show that our genes have 30-40% control over our mind-set, it’s possible to retrain our brain through our actions.

I’ve always disagreed with the old adage, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” It saddens me when a person gives up on a relationship, citing the belief that their spouse will never change. I firmly believe that it’s possible for anyone to change at any time.   More important, while we don’t have control over the actions or attitudes of others, we do have a CHOICE to change our own actions and attitudes. Imagine my joy in seeing this idea supported by scientific evidence in the article I read today!

What’s more, imagine how this new information can have an impact for a happier marriage!

I’m living proof. While I can’t say I’ve ever been an unhappy wife, I can share with you that there have been many times in my nine-year marriage that the stresses of life and miscommunication and misunderstandings between my husband and I have threatened to steal my joy.  But a change in my attitude and outlook has always proven to quickly remedy any unhappiness that may have tried to encroach upon our marital bliss.

One of the ways that Elaine Fox advises we retrain our brain is to count our blessings, and I try to make a habit of doing this every day. I once read a quote that has resonated with me ever since: “Imagine if you didn’t have tomorrow what you didn’t thank God for today.” So, in spite of any dark, looming clouds on the horizon—in the form of challenging moments of everyday life—I tell God what I’m thankful for, either when I wake up in the morning or when I lie down at night.  And who’s always at the top of my list, without fail? My dear, sweet, wonderful, husband.

It’s amazing how counting one’s blessings will chase away the stormy clouds and reveal the sunshine in our life. And the great thing about the sun is that it shines light upon every situation, giving us a clear and sunny perspective.

Question: Simply being grateful can change your entire outlook on life and marriage.  So what are you grateful for today?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

 

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