Project Happily Ever After

Yesterday, I was honored to be featured on one of the top marriage blogs out there, Project Happily Ever After.  The creator, Alisa, is an amazing woman.  She went from hating her marriage and husband to falling in love with both – and in a major way.  I have a huge amount of respect for her and her blog.  And she has an awesome giveaway for you at the bottom of this blog post.

Originally written for and published on Project Happily Ever After: 

I grew up in a home with parents who were well-known marriage counselors.  I learned a lot about marriage from an early age and can truly say it was one of the greatest blessings of my life.  I’d eavesdrop on couples on the brink of divorce and glean wisdom from each conversation.    

When I married, I seemed to instinctively know what pitfalls to avoid.  I understood the trickiness of bringing together two people with distinct personalities and asking them to become “as one.”  I’d read a number of books on marriage, personality differences and becoming a “whole” person before marriage. 

Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I now know how rare it is for one to go into marriage fully prepared for what is on the other side of the curtain.  And consequently, my beginning eight years ago until now has continued to be a bit of a fairytale. 

This is what I love most about Alisa’s story.  She and I have lived out completely different beginnings in our marriage but have ended in the exact same place: a place of unconditional love, acceptance, passion and peace.

How we arrived at this place in our relationships may be different but how we continue to grow is likely quite similar.  There are certain things we have determined to do – intentionally – every day.  So in writing this post, I thought about things my husband, Keith, and I do daily. Without fail.  To continue on our path to Happily Ever After. 

And here’s our Top Five: 

5. Stay physically connected.  Have you ever tried being upset with someone you are hugging, kissing, or holding hands with at various times throughout the day?  It’s pretty impossible.  Even just brushing up against each other and touching each other’s palms.  Gently stroking the side of each other’s face while looking in each other’s eyes takes only a few seconds, but has benefits that will stay with you throughout the day.

4. Come to the table together to eat.  Keith and I have extremely hectic lives and dinner together is not always possible.  But every day, we either begin the day together with coffee and tea or we end our day together dinner.  One or the other.  We stay connected not just physically but emotionally.  I know how he feels because I ask him each and every day.  We talk about everything. 

3. Know your spouse’s highs and lows.  Every day when Keith walks through the door, he’s exhausted. He works in a role that is incredibly demanding with little room for error.  He sits down and would be perfectly happy not to talk about his day.  But in our house, that’s not an option.  There are two questions we always answer for each other, “What was your high?  What was your low?”  Knowing these two things gives each other insight into the other’s day.  We learn of each other’s worries, fears, challenges and successes.  Each day. 

2. Accept each other’s differences.  Keith and I come from very different backgrounds.  We both achieved success in business before we’d met each other.  We’re iron-willed with great conviction about what we believe.  But neither of us are perfect.  Not even close.  I have more quirks in my personality than I can count. And vice versa.  So how arrogant would it be for me to want him to be just like me?  To do things as I would do them?  Arrogant…and impossible…so I reckon not to try. 

1. Choose happiness.  Not long after Keith and I first said “I do” we were confronted by negative comments about marriage everywhere we turned.  We heard about everything from the ‘first year blues’ to the ‘seven year itch.’  It was incredibly rare to hear the words “Happiness” and marriage used in the same sentence.  But there was at least one time I can remember.

Riding in the crowded elevator almost eight year ago, with Keith’s arms wrapped around my shoulders and my head nestled into his chest, a woman observing our affection began doing what so many had done before her, “Hold on to that.  It won’t last long…”  But before she could finish her less-than-positive statement, a woman also riding in the elevator added her two cents: “Happiness is a choice.  My husband and I have been married 29 years and we have chosen to be happy.  Every morning when we wake up we choose to enjoy our day with each other.  We choose to be happy.”  With that, she looked Keith and I square in the eyes and said, “Choose to be happy and it will last.”

We have made that choice daily since 2003 and continue to do so every moment of every day.

Enter to Win Best-Selling Book: Alisa has been absolutely wonderful and is offering a few copies of her book to you for free!  To enter to win Alisa’s best-selling book, you only need to do two things:

1) Comment below on this post.  We’d love to hear your thoughts!

2) Like us on Facebook

3) Follow us on Twitter 

That’s it and you’re automatically entered to win Alisa’s best-selling book!  The winners will be notified next week.  Until Friday…make it a great one!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

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