Peer Pressure..the good kind

By Fawn Weaver on Monday, November 28, 2011

This is Lori with The Generous Wife and I’m excited to guest blog for the Happy Wives Club today.

For years I heard comments like, “I have three kids, two sons and a husband,” or “Geesh, all my husband wants is sex.  What a pervert!”  It was OK to poke fun at your husband or talk down about your marriage.  I got the impression that people didn’t want to be alone in life and marriage was the poor solution.  You lived with it because there wasn’t a better option.

But that all changed one day … 

At a ladies’ group, a woman shared about her decision to build her marriage (and even enjoy sex!).  She had only positive things to say about her husband. We were all sort of in awe of her (and I think a little jealous) as she shared her journey.  She was truly a “happy wife.” She actively and intentionally invested in her marriage and she was reaping the benefits. 

Today I’m delighted to be part of that club and I know that speaking up for your marriage can make a huge difference for others.  It gives them courage to find their voice if they are already a “happy wife” and encourages others (with the good kind of peer pressure) to reconsider how they are building their marriage.

Bless you Fawn and the Happy Wives Club!  You are making a difference.

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I hope you enjoyed this guest article.  As always, I am so grateful to read your comments.  Please feel free to post below and let’s keep the conversation going.  Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club
Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

 

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  • Fawn Weaver

    Thank you, Lori, for sharing some good "peer pressure" with us. When I first married in 2003, I was so disappointed in all the negative talk I heard about marriage. I refused to fall into it but it was also difficult to ignore. I'm so fortunate to now be surrounded by thousands of women who love their husbands and sharing stories about what they do to build them up rather than tear them down. It's a wonderful life!

  • http://jasonanthonygroup.com Jason Anthony

    I think it's good to know that people can still embrace the positive. It's proactive rather being reactive, and huge sign of having very strong personal boundaries.

    There are a lot of men and women who allow their spouse or partner to dictate how and even when they can feel and I strongly promote happiness coming from within FIRST.

  • Fawn Weaver

    Hi Jason! I believe you're the first man to comment on one of our blog posts. Whew hoo! It's great to know it's not just us wives encouraging each other but also our husbands. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you'll join the conversation often.

  • Christy Joy

    Thanks Lori! You're right, so many people put down their marriage and husband; it's actually the norm. We could easily expose our mates imperfections but then we'd have to pull out our laundry list of shortcomings and personally, I like to keep those to myself:-). It's no secret that we all fall short but the funnest (my fav not-word) part of that is falling short together:-) I love my husband and am so blessed that God put me on his team. Keep spreading this message and I pray that eventually, everyone will catch it!

  • Fawn Weaver

    Christy Joy, You're so right! I saw a Facebook status today (by Bob Marley of all people) that speaks to this exactly:

    "He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you."

  • Evette

    Bob Marley's quote moved me to tears Fawn. I'm very much an optimist but when it came to my marriage the glass was always half empty. No Grace, no room for error, not a happy wife at all. Let also say not a very happy husband. I would put so much effort into planning an event or helping a friend then investing in the most precious treasure that God had given me. We can get so caught up looking at our husband’s flaws instead of looking inside and working on our own….I praise the Lord for re-do's! How much more should we give grace to our hubby's whom God has chosen for us, let's be their cheerleaders! I can honestly and gratefully say that if you change your mindset, it is much easier being a happy wife than a not so happy wife! Thank you Lori for reminding us to build our husbands up instead of tearing them down….love this blog and thankful for your wisdom today!

  • Fawn Weaver

    Thanks, Evette, for taking the time to comment! When I read this quote on Facebook my first thought was, "Yes, yes, yes!" My second thought was, "I need to repost this!" And my third thoughts was, "This was written by who? Really?" I would have sworn if was written by a woman because of the way it was worded. It certainly touched my soul too.

  • http://www.rebeccalynndunning.blogspot.com rebecca dunning

    Hi there. Yes, I sooooo agree with this! Great perspective.

  • Fawn Weaver

    Thanks, Rebecca, for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I've added your URL to the link so others can check you out too!

  • http://inspiredbysarah.com Sarah

    I love this! What a blessing to let yourself experience marriage how it is intended and not how society can make it. Ever heard of the book, Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leeman? It really changed my perspective on A LOT of things. It is a book well worth reading and I think it can make a huge difference in any marriage! Thanks for the inspiration and positive words!

  • Fawn Weaver

    Thanks, Sarah! I LOVE Sheet Music. The funny thing is I find myself buying it for wives all the time. I just gave it as a gift to a woman at her engagement party. Dr. Kevin Leman is my favorite marriage expert. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment!

  • http://www.moniquezackery.blogspot.com Monique

    What a great post! I truly enjoy marriage and building up my husband. We've been together 10 years, married 3 1/2 years and it only continues to get sweeter. Yet I struggle in groups of other couples who always talk marriage down. It makes me feel like I cannot freely speak about the joys of marriage. I really want to work on that. I want others to know that marriage can be incredible. Thanks for this great reminder to be the good kind of peer pressure. :)

  • Fawn Weaver

    Thanks, Monique! That's how I felt before which is why I started this Club. So we can apply "good peer pressure" to others and change the conversation about marriage in this country to a positive one.