Improve Your Marriage: #2 – Focus On You

By Fawn Weaver on Wednesday, June 13, 2012

When you’re writing about improving one’s marriage and title the blog post, Focus On You, I imagine it might raise a few eyebrows.  But I truly believe this to be one of the most important things we as women can do to improve our marriage.

If you’re joining us for the first time today, we’re at the beginning of a series titled, 101 Ways to Improve Your Marriage.  Every marriage, no matter how healthy, strong or happy can be improved.  And there are so many married couples who would just settle for being happy sometimes.  

This series is for those at both ends of the spectrum and everyone in between.

2. Put Some Focus On Yourself

I was watching a roundtable today which included a popular American actress, Jada Pinkett-Smith, her daughter and her mother.  Pinkett-Smith was expressing to her daughter the difficulty of balancing being a mom, wife and having a career.  In her explanation I was reminded of a truth so many women forget about: In our quest to be loving moms and wives, we cannot forget about taking care of ourselves.

Women by nature are nurturers.  Innately, we desire to care for someone other than ourselves.  But what happens when our happiness is dependent upon another?  What happens when we begin living our lives vicariously through our husband or child?  What happens is we lose sight of self.  We lose our connection with the spirit inside us guiding us through this thing called life.  We fail to live up to all God intends for us to be because we’re so busy focusing on everyone else.

Please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying.  There is a wonderful quote often attributed to Winston Churchill that my husband has written on a white board right next to our front door, “We make a living by what we get.  We make a life by what we give.”  The most significant things we will do in this lifetime will all involve giving.  We were created to give more than we receive.  But, and it’s a big but, we must also be okay with receiving.

Give to your husband.  Give to your children.  But also give to yourself.  Set time aside to simply “be.”  Meditate, read, garden, do whatever you love to do and find some time to do it alone.  To take your marriage from good to great, spend a little more time on you.  Don’t consider it selfish; consider it healthy.  Your husband and children will both thank you for it because you set the tone for your home.  You control the peace within it.  And when momma’s happy…everybody’s happy.

If you haven’t taken the time to join the Club, make sure to join us today.  It takes only seconds and, of course, it’s completely free.  Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

 

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