5 Tips for Staying Happily Married During a Financial Rough Patch

By Annett Davis on Friday, May 30, 2014

5 Tips for Staying Happily Married During a Financial Rough Patch

When I read this post by our very own, Annett Davis, I was so grateful for her transparency.  If a US Olympian can go through tough financial times and keep her marriage in tip top shape through it all, there’s no doubt we all can.
 
Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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It’s no surprise that one of the top reasons couples divorce today continues to be financial challenges.  As a wife of 17 years, who has been in many tough financial situations, this is an area that’s near and dear to my heart.
 
Our financial struggles began when we first married. My husband and I were both trying to qualify for the Olympics in our respective sports.  Byron in swimming, and me in beach volleyball. When you compete you cannot have full time jobs so money was extremely tight. To be honest it was only by the grace of God that we made it through.
 
Later on blessings began to flow greatly and I began winning many events, and my husband landed a great job. A few years later, the US pro beach volleyball tour began to have it’s own financial troubles which funneled down to the players which meant less money.  Again, we began to struggle. 
 
To make matters worse we invested in two homes hoping to flip them right before the housing market crashed. We had a bad contractor to boot, which turned into a foreclosure and short sale. Having to live on 1/4 of what we were used to was difficult to say the least.
 
The good news is that through it all our marriage remained solid as a rock.  And though it would have been easier not o have had the financial issues to begin with, our marriage is stronger than ever.  I love to share my experiences with others, but more so what I have learned.  Below are my 5 top tips to staying happily married during a financial rough patch.

How to Stay Happily Married During A Financial Rough Patch

1. Be Open and Honest About the Situation. When going through a financially tough time, take ownership for your part of the situation. No one is perfect. Do not finger point, that never helps the situation.  Never hold back information from your spouse. It’s always best to be completely transparent so that you can see the entire picture together. Hiding the severity of the matter will only make things worse.
 
2. Every Problem is Figureoutable. Yes, I just made up that word, but it’s so true! There is nothing new under the sun. The problem that you are going through, someone has experienced it before you and probably even worse. Take heart and know that going through a financial rough patch isn’t the end of the world.  You aren’t less intelligent, less loveable, or less of a person because you are going through tough times.  If you don’t remember anything else, remember that there is always a solution.  It may be tough and uncomfortable to figure it out and to walk through it, but it exists. You can do this, together!
 
3.  Stay on the Same Page. There is no “lesser” partner, even if your spouse made the financial mistake. Work through it as a team. If you need expert help get it.  Be clear about why the changes are being made.  For instance, if your man is a big spender and uses the credit card too much, make sure he understands that the new family rules on spending are so that you two can reach your goals.  Be a big girl, when rules are established because of your habits and know that change is usually for the best, especially when you are both giving up things for the greater good.
 
4.  Frugal is Fabulous.  Attitude and prospective is everything when you are going through a crisis. It can always be worse. Think about the good, and work on a list of things you are grateful for. Add to it daily. Learn to live the affluent lifestyle that you desire at an affordable price. Pinterest and blogs have thousands of great ideas for getting the look of something expensive for pennies on the dollar. Just because you are broke doesn’t mean you can’t have a date night with you man. Lift your head, and start dreaming, get creative and make frugal fun!
 
5.  Remember What’s Important.  No matter what I go through, the one thing I always remind myself is that my husband and I are in this together. Don’t ever forget that you are in a covenant relationship together, your vows testify to that fact. Letting material things get in the way of your commitment should never be allowed.  Your financial woes give you a great opportunity to strengthen the resolve of your relationship.  It allows you opportunities to stretch and grow as individuals, and to cement yourselves together in an amazingly powerful bond.
 

YOUR TURN: How have you stayed happily married during a financial rough patch?

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Annett Davis

Annett Davis is an Olympian in Beach Volleyball. She loves great food and helping people get healthy over at GetFitWithAnnett.com. Her favorite topics are marriage and anything fitness related. Being married to her soul mate, Life Coach and author Byron Davis for 16 wonderful years, Annett loves being a homeschooling mom of 2. She blogs over at FitMomsFitKidsClub.com, and inspires kids to grandmas to get in shape for life in her private accountability groups.

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  • dmdmom

    Great article. My husband and I have been together for 16 years. Our 12 yr old son was diagnosed at age 4 with a progressive and terminal muscle disease that causes the muscles to waste away and cause complete immobility and eventually death in the teens and twenties. On top of that we have three other children. After all the stress of hospitalizations, surgeries, emergency room visits, etc, I also had to leave my job permanently to stay home and care for my son who is no longer walking, in a wheelchair fulltime, cannot feed himself or turn in bed, bathe or groom himself, and take care of my newborn. We were down to one income, trying to survive on a $40, 000.00 income with a very sick child, two other active children and a newborn in diapers, but we manage by being frugal, buying only what we need and growing our own vegetables help a lot.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Wow, I can’t even imagine what that must feel like. Thanks for sharing your comment here so others can also be encouraged.

  • Oldyweds

    This was right on time, as my husband is between jobs, and I am the breadwinner again. He had an interview last week, and we had been waiting on them to get back to us. Today, the company told him they were not going to hire him, and it was so hard for us today. I wanted to scream at him and throw stuff and just was so angry, but I had to calm down and realize my anger was misdirected and totally inappropriate. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t get hired. We’re also waiting to hear back from unemployment, as they haven’t yet started his benefits, so I’ve been balancing everything with my one income the best I can, and it’sSO HARD. I will share this with him and bookmark it. Thank you!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      So happy you found this helpful!

    • Annett Davis

      You are right @Oldyweds it’s not easy. But hang in there, you are on the same team. Sounds like he needs his biggest helper/fan cheering in his corner. :) I’m praying for the best.

  • Seana Turner

    It’s so easy to fall into the trap of blaming each other when times are tough, financial or otherwise. This is a great post and a wonderful reminder that couples are on the same team, and the problem is coming from outside… even if one spouse has made a mistake, there are most likely external forces that are making that mistake so tragic. It’s very difficult!! Getting support from another committed couple can also help (someone to pray with you…)

    • Annett Davis

      So true. We had LOTS of prayer warriors praying with and for us. Couldn’t have made it through without that, that’s for sure @seanaturner:disqus. :)

  • Pamela Thorson Nikodem

    I totally needed this right now and praise God for all the amazing things He is doing in my own home with my sweet love of my life. Amazing. :) Timely messages!

    • Annett Davis

      Awesome! So glad this was right on time!

  • lucy559

    I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is so unbelievable until now. I had a problem with my Ex husband 2years ago, which lead to our break up. when he broke up with me, I was not myself again, i felt so empty inside me, my love and financial situation became worst, until a close friend of mine lucy told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too his name is Dr Ekaka. I email ekakaspelltemple@yahoo.com the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. Before i knew what was happening my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me in just 2days and was so happy to have him back to me. We have two kids together and we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Dr Ekaka for saving my relationship and for also saving others own too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is ekakaspelltemple@yahoo.com you are the best among all the spell caster online I hope you see my testimonies and also pray for my family too…