Happily Married Is My Reality…And I Won’t Apologize For That

By Fawn Weaver on Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Happily married Is My Reality

It’s quite a fascinating thing to comprehend.  Over the past couple of weeks, I have been featured on more than 30 news, radio and online media outlets following the release of my debut book, Happy Wives Club.  

From Huffington Post to Popsugar to Essence and Brides Magazines.  From Good Morning Chicago to Sunrise in Australia. And in nearly every interview I seem to be answering, implicitly or explicitly, the same underlying question:

Are the women of this Club, and me in particular, really telling the truth about being happily married?

Some, like one major newspaper in London, have flat out questioned my “lack of realism.”  And following each interview, I’d pause and reflect, “Can they possibly believe all those who say they are happily married are lying?”

This beautiful online community has grown to include over 700,000 women in more than 110 countries around the world.  And even still, interview after interview, the term, “happily married” continues to be questioned as if it’s some sort of mythical god.

In an interview this morning, it all came to light. 

The wonderful host of the show said something to the effect of, “I don’t want this to be a negative interview.  I really don’t.  But what about reality?  The reality of marriage is that it’s not always going to be happy.  Things aren’t always going to go right.  So where is the reality in this?”

Interestingly enough, that same host also began the interview by proclaiming she was happily single.  So my response to her was simple.  Just as it is possible for her to be happily single with all the ups and downs, twists and turns, and bumps and bruises of life, it is just as possible (and realistic) for every married person to have that same opportunity.

What I love most about being married is I have someone in the car with me while I drive that sometimes long and windy road called life.  I have with me, my best friend and trusted confidante, who at times is the driver and other times is the passenger.  He is there to hold my hand, encourage and support me, and to help me along this sometimes rocky road.

Just as the interviewer this morning, and so many others like her who love their lives as single women (11 years ago, I’d been counted in that number too), I’m enjoying the heck out of my life as a married woman.  This doesn’t make me unrealistic.  It doesn’t call for a questioning of reason.  I’d never question a person’s ability to be happily single.  I’ve had the pleasure of living that life too.

Happiness was not handed to me on a silver platter.  If you’ve read my book, it probably threw you for a loop -as it did many of my closest friends- that I’m the survivor of two suicide attempts earlier in life.  I left home just shy of my 16th birthday and spent my 18th birthday in a homeless shelter (the first of many I temporarily called home as I made the uncomfortable transition from youth to adult).  

Creating a life a happiness, and a marriage like the one I have the great fortune of enjoying, did not come naturally.  At one time, misery consumed my life…literally, almost until death.  And now, joy and happiness does the same.

So to the question of, “Am I really telling the truth about being happily married?” the answer is unquestionably, undoubtedly, unabashedly Yes.  This, no matter how difficult it may be for some to believe, is my reality.  And I’m grateful for it each and every moment I have the honor of living it.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club
Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

 

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  • Jamy

    Beautiful post. Thank you for your sweet words of encouragement! I am blessed to be in a happy marriage and often feel guilty because of it (due to close friends who do NOT have the same blessing as me).

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Consider this your “get out of guilt jail” free card! Encourage their marriages while remaining completely grateful for the one you have because you’ve put in the effort to have the marriage you’ve got and others need to see that so they can find their pathway to happiness, as well. So nice to ‘meet’ you and I’m grateful for your comment..

  • http://www.modernmarried.com/ Maggie Reyes

    Amen to this Fawn! I get a similar version because I am very enthusiastic. People have actually asked me, “are you for real?” Completely confounded that I could get excited about the little things in life and walk around delighted. Yes, world – I walk around delighted. And I am for real. And a proud member and contributor to the Happy Wives Club too! So there. ;-)

    • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

      Amen to that, Maggie! I have always gotten the same response. So very sad!

      • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

        You’ve gotten that too, Kim? Can you imagine what it would be like for us all to get together in the same place?! I don’t think the world is ready for this much love in one location. :)

        • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

          Heh. An explosion of happiness overload for sure! Great point, Fawn-Why is it acceptable to “keep it real negative”, but not keep it real positive? Tis a long road ahead, but we must continue to light the way and encourage others alongside us!

          • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

            Agreed! Long road…but folks like you, Maggie, me and the many hundreds of thousands in this club will keep it well lit. <3

          • http://www.modernmarried.com/ Maggie Reyes

            KIM – YES. 3 of us in one room?!? Hold on world! That Wave of Positivity you see coming is a Tsunami! :-)

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      “So there!” LOOOOOOOOOOVE, Maggie! Did I detect a little tude there? ;) It’s so sad that if you walk around saying everything wrong in your life, you’re “keeping it real.” But if your focus is on everything positive in your life you’re being fake. A little hypocritical, eh? So happy to know you, to blog with you, and that we’ve chosen to live a life focused on all is good, positive and beautiful in the world. Glass half full…this is OUR reality and gratitude is not just the word of the day or year but the word of our lives. Yessssssssssssssssss!

      • http://www.modernmarried.com/ Maggie Reyes

        Fawn! LOL on the ‘tude – yes, there was some good humored ‘tude indeed! I am a Latin Girl and all. There is a lot of passion in everything I do! ;-)
        I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am that a little angel whispered in my ear that I should start blogging – it has led to so many blessings – and this union of kindred spirits in this beautiful HWC community. Gratitude and Grace. Totally where it’s at. A big fat happy YES! (and a hug of course!)

  • loveworkrepeat

    This resonates with me so much!! It irks me to no end and saddens me at the same time that there are so many people who think happy marriages are an oxymoron. They think that ALL men have cheated on their wives and that most married couples are miserable. And it’s just not the case! I think all of these television shows have brainwashed people. I have been married- happily married- for almost 12 years. We’re not imaginary or mythological like unicorns, HAPPY wives DO exist! ;-)

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Yes, we DO exist, and we’re not mythological like unicorns. Love this!

    • Jen

      haha I love this! I think the next time someone tells me I’m “living in a fairy world” or “wearing rose coloured glasses” when I say my marriage is amazingly happy, I’m just going to say “Maybe I’m a unicorn” and walk away. :D

      • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

        LOL! I have a Unicorn Marriage. I likey!

  • http://twanisha-and-james.ourbabychannel.com Twanisha Burrell

    Your email this morning was so on point. For a long time I have thought something was wrong with me because I do indeed have a happy marriage and all I hear is other people complaining about their mates. It does make you shrink back and not want to always talk about the good things you enjoy about being married. Next time when I am conteplating telling people how good my husband is to me, I won’t feel bad for them. I will say it loud and proud.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Yeah!! Seriously, everyone feels comfortable in complaining about their mates and marriage and somehow we’re made to feel bad about saying great things about ours. It’s so odd to feel judged for having a great marriage. Before I said “I do,” I never would have imagined this dynamic exists in the world. But now that I do, I hope this club will make a real difference in changing the tone about marriage around the world. And that’s starts in our inner circles, Twanisha – yours and mine. Cheers!

      • Jen

        I felt the same about your email this morning. I can’t count how many times I’ve remained silent in group conversations or watched a group of women moaning about how “useless Husbands are” and “all men are just so unthinking and selfish” because I know that by interjecting with “My Husband isn’t like that at all….he makes me the happiest woman in the world” my comments will be met with either: 1) being shunned due to jealousy and I’ll get a sarcastic “well aren’t YOU just lucky then!”, 2) being met with disbelief and pity that I must be “wearing rose tinted glasses”, or 3) being told that “Well that will eventually fade, he wont act like that forever” (and when I tell them that both my Dad and Brother are still exactly like my Husband and have both been very happily married for a long time, being met with response number 1).

        It’s difficult and sad that we, as happily married people, have to feel like the outsiders, like we’re somehow “weird” for not complaining constantly about our Husbands, for not putting them down. My Husband is romantic, helpful, faithful, caring and a fantastic listener. You are right, I will no longer feel apologetic for that. By the people who are happily married staying quiet and pretending that being unhappily married is the norm, people are less likely to strive for better marriages, to come to understand what a happy marriage looks like and that it’s not some 1 in a million, fluke relationship that they could never hope to achieve.

        I have been in an unhappy marriage and a happy one. My unhappy one seemed to resonate with a lot more people, it seemed people felt secure with that, they could say “Oh, yes, tell me about it!” when I complained and feel like we had some sort of kinship made up by having an unhappy marriage in common. My happy marriage, however, seems to make people somewhat uncomfortable. They find it difficult to relate, and it may make them look at their own marriages in a not so attractive light. It is easier for them to believe that being unhappy in a marriage is normal and there isn’t any other alternative….otherwise they might have to take action to make changes in themselves and their marriage.

  • Crissy King

    It is possible, and it is my reality as well. Being happy doesn’t mean it’s all roses and sunshine. It means my husband and I are able to talk, truly talk AND listen to each other. We compromise, praise, encourage, and become the voice of reason when we each have doubts. When you work as hard at pleasing your spouse, as you do at pleasing an employer, or your other relationships, your spouse in turn does the same. I have been married twice before (first at 19 yrs old, and too young; the 2nd for 15 years together, 12 married, to a controlling, verbally and emotional abuser) and I learned from those what I need from a spouse, and what I absolutely will not tolerate from a spouse. I also learned what it means to be a spouse who listens, encourages, talks, and be a voice of reason. It’s not hard. It takes work. And the rewards are lifelong.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Keith and I were just talking this morning about how much fun we’ll have in life once we retire. Being able to spend every day together, just hanging out with each other, I can’t think of a better life. To be building our dreams together now so we can enjoy them later…oh what a feeling! Thanks, Crissy, for your note. Appreciate it!

  • http://www.servingjoyfully.com/ Crystal

    I completely agree! Happiness is more about attitude than circumstances!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Absolutely! There is a TEDx talk I love called The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor. Have you seen it? It’s by far my favorite, incredibly funny, but most importantly makes the case for why true happiness can never be based on circumstances: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXy__kBVq1M.

  • Guest

    Thank you so much for continuing to share your encouraging words with
    us! I have definitely been asked the same questions: How can I be
    happy in my current situation (my husband and I are currently recovering
    from infidelity AND he has one more year left on a 30 month prison
    sentence)? But, through this tumultuous time in our lives we realized
    that drawing closer to each other and closer to God was the only way to
    get through it and be happy on the other side! Our marriage has been
    restored to a place above and beyond where it ever was before and I can
    honestly say that I have never been happier (even though, yes, there are
    some rocky moments)! I have a few single friends currently who confide
    in me about whomever they are dating, and it’s mostly complaining. I
    often feel like I don’t say anything about my relationship because I
    don’t want to be “bragging” about how good I have it. However, after
    your post today I feel like we almost should “brag” (just not in a
    prideful way) about our happiness. It’s the only way that we will get
    society to see that happiness in marriage really can be a reality.
    Also, at least for my marriage, it is really just bragging on the
    awesome power of God who is in the middle of our lives! If it wasn’t for His ability and His restorative power, my marriage would not look like it does today.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      I think this is a duplicate of above, no? Looks like my commenting system posted it twice. Much love!

  • Elizabeth

    Fawn, thank you so much for continuing to share your encouraging words with us! I have definitely been asked the same questions: How can I be happy in my current situation (my husband and I are currently recovering from infidelity AND he has one more year left on a 30 month prison sentence)? But, through this tumultuous time in our lives we realized that drawing closer to each other and closer to God was the only way to get through it and be happy on the other side! Our marriage has been restored to a place above and beyond where it ever was before and I can honestly say that I have never been happier (even though, yes, there are some rocky moments)! I have a few single friends currently who confide in me about whomever they are dating, and it’s mostly complaining. I often feel like I don’t say anything about my relationship because I don’t want to be “bragging” about how good I have it. However, after your post today I feel like we almost should “brag” (just not in a prideful way) about our happiness. It’s the only way that we will get society to see that happiness in marriage really can be a reality. Also, at least for my marriage, it is really just bragging on the awesome power of God who is in the middle of our lives! If it wasn’t for His ability and His restorative power, my marriage would not look like it does today.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thank you so much for your note, Elizabeth. What an amazing journey you and your husband are on – whoa! I don’t know how many people would be able to go through what you’re going through and still view the situation as positive and hopeful. I commend you for that. It’s interesting because a couple I met with while in New Zealand had a similar situation where her husband had been involved in a business deal that landed him in prison and she stood by him. That was many decades ago when this happened and to see the life they’ve built together (and the success they’ve had in business together since that time) was encouraging to say the least.

      • Elizabeth

        I can definitely say that it didn’t start out positive and hopeful, but has evolved into something great as God has rewarded our faithfulness to His word. Just to clarify a little, I DO feel like we are in the current situation we are in because we had fallen away from our relationship with God…but, He has used this time to be a blessing not only to us but to others as well. Thank you for sharing about the other couple you met – it is encouraging to hear that other couples have successfully come out of a tough situation!

  • Marcee

    Fawn, I applaud you for standing firm on your position as a happy wife. However, I believe to some degree others are hoping to hear how you overcome adversity in your marriage. We know that nothing and no one is perfect, so it’s great to hear how others handle their problems AND still maintain happiness. In short, people are looking for real answers to real problems.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Hi Marcee, thanks for your comment. Appreciate it! I think you’ve just inspired another blog post :) . The interesting thing about your comment is there are literally thousands upon thousands of sites and books addressing exactly what you mention: Overcoming problems in marriage. What I could never find, before I began this club, was a site simply celebrating all that is wonderful about marriage. Learning from those who have spent decades creating happiness in their marriage. Taking a marriage from good to great and great to extraordinary. That was the void this site and club was created to fill and that’s the reason it remains my sole focus.

      The sad part is there was a time when I lost focus and wanted to appeal to a larger audience so I switched over to writing a bunch of “how to” posts and it felt so disingenuous. For months I did this and, honestly, got tired of reading them myself because they weren’t a true reflection of my marriage. So I quickly returned to the origin of the site and it’s important to me that I stay 100% real to what my experience in marriage has been, which is absolutely wonderful. Seriously. I’ve loved every moment of being married and that is my reality.

      As I’m writing this, I’m trying to figure out how I can be more helpful to you in this response. I’ve written on this before but not as of late, so maybe explaining my approach to challenges will help understand why my focus is what it is.

      Personally, I find adversity and problems to be fully subjective. By that I mean, it’s usually not the problem but rather our response to a problem that determines the outcome.

      For instance, have you ever been on a plane that was going through incredibly tumultuous air space? Dropping hundreds of feet at a time, dipping to the right and left while all passengers began freaking out? I’ve been on several of these flights this year alone. You can hear the passengers gasping with every drop, twist and turn. And yet, if you look over at the flight attendants, they’re still walking down the aisles collecting trash without a concern in the world.

      The reason the flight attendants do this is they know the likelihood and probability that the plane will touch down at its intended destination is 99.99% percent of the time. They know the end of the matter will be good and they just have to ride out the bumpy times.

      That’s how my husband and I have approached every challenge for the past 11 years. This is a discipline we learned while going through 12 weeks of premarital counseling. So from day one, we’ve always looked ahead to what we want things to look like when any challenge we’re facing is over and we diligently work together to create solutions to get us to the end result we most desire. We never focus on the problem or challenge…just the solution.

      Don’t know if this helps…but I hope it does (at least a little :) ).

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Oh my goodness, I just realized how loooooooong my response was to you. Yikes! Well, hope it will be helpful…at least a little bit. <3

  • Elizabeth Taylor

    I had a number of miserable relationships before I met and married my husband, and I spent so much time being unhappy before my marriage that I absolutely REFUSE to apologize for being happy now! No one should apologize for being happy! We all deserve happiness in our relationships, but it is not our fault that we are happy and others are not. Happiness is a choice!!

    • Elissa Philgence

      “Happiness is a choice!!” Amen.

      • Elizabeth Taylor

        =)

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Yes, it is! Happiness is a moment-by-moment decision in life and in marriage. And I agree, we all deserve happiness in our relationships and it is in our power to create that.

      • Elizabeth Taylor

        That’s right! And just because a marriage is happy doesn’t mean that there aren’t challenges… I don’t think any marriage is perfect, but as long as you and your mate are perfect for each other, anything can be worked through! Does that make sense lol?

        • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

          Absolutely! Nothing involving two imperfect people can ever be perfect. As long as there’s tons of love, respect, trust, admiration, laughter and all those other wonderful goodies that comes along with marriage, who cares about perfection? I sure don’t. :)

  • Cynthia Savini

    It’s a sad commentary on our society when reporters spend more time questioning the validity of happiness than they do celebrating it! As someone who has gone through a divorce, I questioned if I was meant to be married, even though I knew in my heart that is what I wanted. God is so loving and so faithful! I am now married to the most wonderful, God-given gift of a husband! And I will NEVER apologize, be embarrassed, downplay or “calm down” when it comes to how I love my husband! Do we both have faults? Absolutely. But through our love-lens, those flaws become “quirks” because we believe that God created us not just to be perfect the way we are, but perfect for this marriage. And as for life, of course bad things happen. In our first year of marriage we had 12 deaths in our combined families – one was a suicide of a very close student of mine. Talk about being tested! There was never a question of how to handle things – we held hands and faced everything together. That’s it. You gotta make sure you are always on the same team!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Oh, Cynthia, I wish you could have seen my virtual Arsenio Hall “Woo woo woo” fist pump when reading this, I will NEVER apologize, be embarrassed, downplay or “calm down” when it comes to how I love my husband!” Yes!

      • Cynthia Savini

        Lol! Maybe we need to creat a “Happy Wives” dance! :)

        • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

          LOVE it!

  • Elissa Philgence

    “And Leah said, Happy am I, for the daughters will call me blessed: and she called his name Asher” (Genesis 30:13). Leah was not happy because she was Jacob’s only wife, she was not happy because Jacob was so in love with her, no he loved Rachel, she was his first love and the only wife he wanted. ‘

    However, Leah was happy because she knew God and she knew God loved her above any earthly man and for that God bless her abundantly. I believe we can be totally bless and happy in our marriages but we made God our first love.

    Peace to you.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thank you so much, Elissa. I was just giving a seminar last night to a group predominantly made up of Jews and the question was posed of the importance of faith in the lives of the happy couples I’ve interviewed around it is absolutely paramount; a great foundation. Definitely the foundation of my husband and me.

      The story of Leah and Jacob though, I don’t know if I’d use that one as the example with Jacob working all those years for Rachel’s hand before being tricked into marrying Leah and then spent another 7 years (if I remember the story right) working for the woman he really loved, her sister (who happened to also be his first cousin). I married a man who loves me and loves me alone, as his wife, and also honors and loves God. Now, that’s a winning combination! :)

      • Elissa Philgence

        I am not sure if everyone here know that story well, forgive me, but I use it to show that God can made the best even out of a seemingly bad situation. I also use it to show that women can truly be happy if they, like Leah, but God first in their lives.

        This story is full of twist and turn, Jacob was a deceiver and so he was deceive. Jacob was running from his brother and had no chose but to run to God. In everything God’s plan must be reveal.

        Peace to you.

        • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

          No need to apologize. I was just surprised that was the story you used for this example and couldn’t quite figure out how it fit. I can tell you I wouldn’t be happy in that situation at all! I’d be saying, “Um…God, remember me, your daughter Fawn? I KNOW this is NOT the way you destined my life to be -married to a man with multiple wives, complete lack of love, etc. etc.” But I do see your point (I think :) ). Peace to you, Elissa!

  • Christine St.Vil

    Fawn, I thank God for you and this post…everything in here I agree with 1000%! It’s funny how no one questions the “happily single” people but when we’re happily married, we have to prove it or explain ourselves. Thank you for creating this community because this proves even more just how much it’s needed. Thank you for allowing is happy wives to share our happiness with others who are just as happy in their own marriages. I applaud you, I thank you, and I’m grateful for you.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thank you, Christine! So happy to have you hear. <3

  • Lynn Felix

    Fawn,
    I loved this article and thank you for sharing your story. I am part of the Happy Wives Club that you have started and I love it. My hubby and I will be married 16 years this July. I love our marriage and the happiness it is and the happiness it brings. For us the secret to a happy marriage is change. You have to be willing to accept who you truly are flaws and all and work to change yourself to be a better person for yourself and for your partner. As couple if you both do the same and overcome all the obstacles in your marriage then you both can have the relationship you both want. In the small town we live in we are seen as role models to many of the people we know. We are humbled. But there are also people who criticize our marriage and call it fake. We are anything but fake, we are happy. It’s their ignorant thinking that does not allow them to blossom and find their own happiness and make their marriages happy. Happily married is my reality as well and I will never be ashamed or afraid to share that with others. My hubby and I are truly blessed and grateful to have what we have and not a day goes by we do not treasure it and each other.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      That is such a great piece of advice, Lynn! I never thought about “change” as being the key but that is so true. Acceptance and willingness of change…such an important trait of a great marriage.

  • http://www.calledtoedify.com Tona

    Fawn,
    Thank you for helping me realize that I don’t have to apologize for being Happy! Even when others try to consistently tell me that we are still just in the honeymoon phase and just wait until you go through something things will definitely change. I am a happily married woman to my wonderful husband of five years and I will no longer apologize for it!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Woohoo! There is no such thing as the “honeymoon phase” since the highest dissolution rate of marriage happens in year 4. People say that because they don’t know what else to say. We always thought people would stop after we got to year 5 (no longer honeymooners, right?) but then they just moved the mark to telling us about the “7 year itch” (something else that is made up). We realized some people just don’t know what to say and have never seen a couple remain so happily married. That’s why it’s important like couples like you and your husband and me and my husband continue showing the world that “a love like this still does exist.”

  • Lisa @ The Wellness Wife

    I’m sad for these people who don’t believe you can have a happy marriage. I’m not sorry I have one. I’m proud!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Say it proud, Lisa. Love it!

  • Mel

    I recently had a conversation similar to this. Because it seems that people always have negative things to say about marriage. All I hear is its such hard work and I get that, but where are the positives and happiness. I am getting married in 2 months and I already know some “issue” or challenges we may have and I know you can’t tell the future. But I feel like I will be a happy wife. And we will have a happy and successful relationship. But that seems to be a fairytale according to some people. So I wonder, why are so many people (wives in particular) so unhappy? If you haven’t already, can you do an article on that?

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thanks, Mel. I have to think what articles I’ve written that address this. I imagine quite a few with points contained but I have to figure out if I’ve done one directly related to this. I’ll circle back to you :) .

      • Mel

        Thanks. And thanks for the reply. I just discovered this site and FB page. I really enjoy it!

        • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

          Welcome! So glad you found us :) .

  • Anastasia

    I think people mistake being in a “happy marriage” for never having an emotion while married that isn’t happy, happy, joy, butterflies, and unicorns. We’re all human, so from time to time we’ll have a bad day. (or month!) But the joy that comes in a truly happy marriage is one that rises above all the struggles to choose find happiness and joy in spite of all the ups, downs, bumps, and bruises.
    That is what I mean when I say I am happily married.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Absolutely! Everyone has their own definition of happy. I tell people all the time who ask, “What does a happy marriage look like?” that the only two people who can determine that are the two in the marriage. I absolutely love my marriage and incredibly happy. But my husband and I laugh all the time that if we ever had cameras following us, people would probably find us to be the most boring couple in America! :) But that works for us. We love simple. We love uncomplicated. We team up when challenges come our way and we fight them like our life (and marriage) depend on it. We fight the problems, never each other. That’s what makes us happy.

  • Mel

    I like being unapologetic…but how do you do so around people who have not found someone to share their life with or who are not in a happy marriage. I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging or be inconsiderate, but I don’t want to feel ashamed or hide it…does that make sense?

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Absolutely! You can be excited for them and their prospects. Just hearing you talk about marriage and your husband is an encouragement (even if not initially :) ). But bragging in a prideful way is always a heart issue and if your heart is kind and loving, they will know. You are simply celebrating the life you know.

  • toya W

    I really want to have a happy marriage, I just don’t really know how :(

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Oh Toya, I’m so sorry to hear that. The good news is there are alot of resources to help. If you believe a happy marriage is possible, you can create it. Feel free to email me at fawn(at)happywivesclub(dot)com and I’ll do my best to steer you in the right direction.

      • toya W

        Thank you, I will and thanks so much for responding as quickly as you. That was awesome! It means a lot.

  • julie@TheBitchClub.com

    Im so glad I found you. I just want to say that I am happily married to my amazing husband and although it took me a few times to get it right, I finally did and we will never stop kissing and holding hands and all of the haters can continue on their sad and miserable journey to death. BTW, the “honeymoon phase” is a phrase that was made up by the sad and miserable. Happiness in a marriage (or any kind) takes work and with 2 things, communication and respect, it is possible to have the “Happily Ever After”
    I live there and there is plenty of property available.
    Cheers!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Cheers, Julie! And yes, happily ever after is certainly possible…and it is 100% our choice.

  • http://stephanieteaches.blogspot.com/ Stephanie

    Fawn,
    First off let me say that I LOVE your book. I’ve only been married for a month, and I’ve already encountered the lie that the joy of marriage dies within the first two years and then it’s just work, work, work. Even Christian authors are supporting this terrible idea! As soon as we announced our engagement, people began to tell my fiance that he is crazy for getting married so young and that we’d probably regret it. Thank you for being such an encouragement and helping me believe that I can (and will) stay as madly in love as I am right now. I can’t wait to be celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary so the people who say I’m just too much of a newlywed to know if our love will last will be convinced. Thank you for your positive message! I love being married!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      So happy you’re not allowing the negative nellys out there to adversely impact your marriage. And I can’t wait until you and your husband are dancing cheek-to-cheek at your 50th wedding anniversary too! And thank you for your kind words. So happy you’re enjoying the book :) .