Elevating the Conversation

By Fawn Weaver on Thursday, January 12, 2012

Last week, I wrote a blog post on changing the conversation about marriage around the world and asked each of you to join me in being that one voice in your group of friends who refuses to “husband bash” or speak poorly about marriage.  I asked you to commit to being the one to elevate the conversation.

That blog post received close to 2,000 views and we had hundreds and hundreds of women join this Club that day.  The message resonated.  It struck home.  And I’m so glad it did.

Our words are powerful.  Every word that flows from our mouth contains the power to grant life or death.  We can speak life into our marriage.  We can speak life into our friend’s marriage.  We can speak life into every leaving creature simply by parting our lips and allowing an audible and understandable sound to depart.

What so many of you promised last week is that you’d elevate the conversation in your core group of girlfriends.  Among your family members, you would build your husband up and speak well of marriage.  You didn’t say you wouldn’t face challenges in your life, you simply committed not to dwell on them.  You’d focus on the positive and view marriage through the lens of gratitude and grace.

I consider it a blessing and honor to be a member of this Club.  And I’m so grateful to each of you for making the choice to change the conversation and elevate the discussion about marriage around the word.

Question: So, are you in?  Will you help us elevate the conversation about marriage in your immediate group of friends and family?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club
Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

 

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  • http://auntlala25.blogspot.com Lauren

    I absolutely whole hearted agree with this! J and I made this commitment when were in pre-marital counseling. We don't bash each other with our friends, family, or each other. It's sad that there are many, many, many occasions where I was in the middle of a bashing session and I started talking positive. Sitting around bashing your marriage or your hubby its not helping or solving a problem. Your being selfish and licking your own wounds. Talk to your husband with your hurts and concerns. WORK on your marriage. I wonder in our society are many women and men trained to be good husbands or wives? Do they have the tools? Like you say our society does not promote healthy marriages, it thrives on un-healthy ones. This truly breaks my heart. Sorry didn't mean to write so much! =) But its something close to my heart. =)

  • Fawn Weaver

    @Lauren- I completely understand. This is an area I'm passionate about in, as well, and probably would have written just as much (if not more :) ). I love that you made that commitment in pre-marital counseling. Once of the greatest blessings with going through counseling before getting married is you're able to solidify how you'll handle things in advance of saying "I do." Keith and I are so thankful we went through a 12-week session with a premarital counselor because as things come up, we're able to mentally return to those conversations pre-marriage and recall how we promised to handle them. It's a huge blessing. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to post a comment.

  • Angie M.

    It's so encouraging that this challenge to "elevate the conversation" has gotten such a positive response! We have more influence than we may think and kindness and kind speech is truly contagious! I'm really excited about the commitment we Happy Wives have made to this. Thanks for the reminder again this week Fawn. Let's keep it up!

  • http://www.happywivesclub.com Fawn

    Thanks, Angie M, and I'm happy this is what you already do on a regular basis! What a blessing it is to know you and to be your friend :) . Awww…

  • JSW

    It's crazy how shocked people are when you do speak highly of marriage and your husband, almost like you're the odd ball. But, if you keep with it, it will soon rub off. Either people ask you on how you maintain a great marriage and will be more open to your encouragement in doing so. Let's protect our marriages, especially for our children, and our other married couples in our community.

  • http://auntlala25.blogspot.com Lauren

    @JSW, I understand. I have felt the odd one many times. Like, "What? You like your husband" I've received many responses. One of the ones that get me a little edgy =) is "Oh your still a newlywed, it will wear off" This hurts my heart. Why does you admiration or love for your spouse have to wear off? So I guess my husband and I will be 'newlyweds' when we are celebrating our 60+ wedding anniversary =)

  • http://www.shannonyvette.com Shannon Yvette Tanner

    Fawn, as you know, I speak, write and blog about women who are struggling with real issues, pain and grief in their marriages and single life. This can often times cause me to forget or minimize the great joy and happiness that I have in my own marriage. It is liberating to be given "permission" to speak freely about the happiness you have in like-minded company. Coming over here for a friendly visit is a welcome relief and water to my soul. Bless you sister, the journey continues!

  • Fawn Weaver

    @JSW- I couldn't have said that any better. @Lauren- Thank you for giving the exact same response I would have. I used to get urked by the "Oh, you must still be newlyweds" comment but now Keith always just smiles and says, "Yep, we've been newlyweds for 8 years and counting." I love hearing him say that! @Shannon- Thank you so much! And thank you for being on this journey with me as I continue on the journey with you.

  • http://www.satisfiedbyhislove.blogspot.com Emily

    Absolutely! I wrote about something somewhat similar today. So thankful for my husband and our marriage! It's nowhere near perfection but I'm glad we are learning together!

  • http://www.happywivesclub.com Fawn

    @Emily- I'm looking forward to seeing what you wrote about this topic. Thanks for letting me know!

  • Evette

    @ Shannon – Hopefully this comforts you but I too was one of the struggling marriages you see time and time again…..praise the Lord for do-overs and hopefully you can rest in knowing that your work amongst many others who do the same makes a difference. I am a Happy Wife and married to the same man I fell in love with many years ago! I have CHOSEN to step off the bashing, self righteous wagon and join the praise and esteem your spouse wagon! Time with the help of GOD heals

    I'M IN FAWN WEAVER!

  • http://www.happywivesclub.com Fawn

    @Evette – Yes!! Whew hoo! Now, that you're on board, who knows where this train will go (and your marriage :) ). So happy to see you here.

  • http://www.htesml.blogspot.com Denise

    Great topic! I'm totally in and so glad you brought this important issue up. You are so true when you said that are words are powerful because people sometimes forget how powerful words are and the source from which they come from also. What a great vow for unions to commit to and be accountable for.

  • http://cutand-dry.blogspot.com Betty Manousos

    great insight and content!

    i love your blog and thanks so much for your wonderful comments!
    nice to meet you and hope you're hyaving a great day!
    betty

  • http://www.happywivesclub.com Fawn

    Thanks, Betty. Ditto!