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Top 20 Stay-At-Home Date Night Ideas

We all know how important frequent date nights are for keeping the fire burning with our spouse. 

But when money is tight, or a babysitter is nowhere to be found, keeping a regular date night can be a challenge.  We’re here to help!

We’ve scoured the web, looking for the best, cheapest, most creative stay-at-home date night ideas and compiled a list of the top 20 we found online.

So grab your hubby, put the kids down for the night, and get your date night on!

1. Iron Chef Chocolate: Make a meal with chocolate featured in every course. Who says chocolate can’t be served as a main course? You can either make a meal together or divide up the courses between each of you and surprise the other with your sweet & savory creations.

2. Strip Trivia: Make it a hot night with this sizzling bedroom game. Tease each other with one steamy question at a time to set one another on fire!

3. Make It a Theme Night! Choose a theme and center everything you do around it. For example, if you choose an Italian theme, you could eat spaghetti and gelato, then watch a movie like The Italian Job or Life is Beautiful. Some other fun theme ideas: Mexican, Asian, Christmas, Kid’s theme, 1950′s (or any decade), etcetera.

4. Living Room Camp-Out: Get anything you have that makes you feel like your camping out and set it up in your living room (i.e. camping chairs, turn off the lights and use flashlights, blanket…). Make tin foil dinners in your oven for the dinner.

5. Crepes in Paris (no ticket required): Spend an evening in Paris right in your very own home enjoying create-your-own-crepes and creative spouse caricatures. So fun!

6. Create a DIY Photoshoot:  When’s the last time the two of you were in the same photo? Using your tripod or Apple photo booth, snap pics together in various rooms of your home for memories you’ll never forget.

7. Kid-Free Slumber Party: Make a cozy pallet for you and your spouse on the living room floor [with] lots of blankets, pillows, snacks, and movies. We call it a ‘slumber party.‘  It’s a little silly, but super fun and makes us enjoy the little things in life.

8. All Dressed Up & Nowhere to Go: Pull out your nicest formal dress from your last cruise or even from your high school or college prom (if yours still fits.. good for you! I’m not even close to fitting into mine), light dozens of tea candles, and have a romantic, fancy dinner.

9. Out of Character: Dress up as an actor from a movie and pick the character for each other (think Tom Cruise in Risky Business).

10. Dream Date by Design: Design your own Dream Date with an easy survey! Have your sweetheart do one also, to create two amazing dates!

11. Turn Your Bedroom Into a Love Nest: I purchased a bed canopy years ago. Occasionally I’ll pull it out, dust it off and put it up for the night. Then I fill the room with candlelight and other sundry romantic items and pretend that Mr. Beguiles and I are tucked away in a sumptuous hotel room or cottage somewhere.

12. Karaoke Night - oh yeah! Find songs with lyrics on YouTube and sing your heart out. This is funniest if you can find some heart-wrenching ballads to belt out.

13. Dance the night away: It has all the intimacy of a club without the downside of slipping in spilled drinks. Rehash the days of the high school dance. Turn down the lights, turn up the music and be sure to dance two feet apart. Just kidding! Getting close is the point, and what better way to get close to your spouse than dancing in your own private gala?

14. Vacation Planning Date: Turn planning your next vacation into a fabulous and fun date night with our great printables!

15. Get a Taste of Another Culture: Plan out a delish meal of Paella and sangria, prepare it together and then dig in. Love Indian? Make your own Chicken Tikka Masala.

16. Write out the story of how you met (and fell in love): Better yet- video tape it! Your kids and future posterity will be so grateful and it is so fun to go back and read (or watch) years down the road. It’s amazing how much you will forget!

17. Wine Bar at Home: Buy a few different bottles of wine (get 20 great picks under $20), make a plate of meats and cheeses, light some candles and load up your iPod with your favorite tunes.

18. Something Old, New, Borrowed & Blue!  Celebrate your lifelong commitment to your sweetheart with this “Something Old, New, Borrowed, and Blue” themed date! This date is a true celebration of love.

19. Play the Newlywed Game! See how well you really know one another. Have prizes for every correct answer. You can check out some fun questions here.

20. It’s a Love Match! Create some sparks with your sweetheart with this free printable that puts a romantic spin on the classic game of Memory!

Didn’t find something on this list that floats your boat?  Find an endless amount of creative and cheap stay-at-home date nights at my absolute favorite date night site: The Dating Divas.  These fabulous ladies love their hubbies and have made a career out of sharing their awesome date night ideas with us.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

 

 

THE BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book like none other.

3 Things That Could Be Hurting Your Marriage (And What to Do About Them)

*Welcome to week eight of this 12-week series based on the New York Times® bestselling book, Happy Wives Club. Join me each week as I share 12 principles about marriage I’ve learned from some of the happiest couples around the world.*

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“Happily married people know that keeping score is what unhappily married people do.”  –Alisa Bowman 

“Oh, I never keep score,” I would have proudly proclaimed had you asked me a few years back.  

For the most part, that was absolutely true.  But as I examined my heart a few years ago, I realized, there are actually three ways of keeping score and I was guilty of at least one. 

The first way of keeping score is to keep track of what your spouse does wrong; focusing on the error of their ways. 

The second way of keeping score is to keep track of everything you do right; subconsciously (and sometimes consciously) expecting a reciprocation of sorts. 

That is the one I did most often and didn’t realize it until we were years into our marriage.  I wasn’t keeping track of when Keith did something wrong but I was keeping track of every time I did something right.

When I’d take out the trash instead of waiting for Keith to do it – count that as one point for me.  When I cleaned up the house or did laundry, especially when my work days were as jam packed as his, I’d look for a pat on the back.  

“Gold star for Fawn!” was the big joke in the house every time I did something for him or us outside of my normal routine.  It took me a few years, but I finally realized keeping a scoreless marriage wasn’t just about not keeping “score” of what Keith did wrong, but also of what I did right.

The third way of keeping score, and quite possibly the one that trips most women up, is a tendency to keep score against other marriages.  John bought Sally a new car for her birthday, always mows the lawn, cooks and helps in the kitchen.  Score one for the Johnsons!  David always opens the car door for Anne, puts his arm around her whenever they’re sitting down, and strokes her hand whenever he has a chance.  Score one for the Bates!  Look at the amazing vacation Adam and Tracy took.  Those pictures on Facebook are stunning.  Score one for the Andersons!

Whether we realize it or not, if we aren’t careful, this third way of keeping score can creep into any marriage.  Earlier in this series, I wrote a post on the danger of comparisons, and the responses were quite telling.  It was clearly one of the most common ways of keeping score.

All three of these ways of keeping score creates winners and losers and any one of them could be hurting your marriage.

So this week’s tip to creating a happier marriage is rather simple: strive daily to never keep score.  Rather than keeping score when your spouse does something wrong, apply grace.  Instead of keeping score when you do something right, remind yourself that giving is a blessing in itself, and when done unselfishly, has the same reaction as a boomerang – coming right back around to you. 

And the next time you think about keeping score against another marriage, remind yourself that every day, you have the ability to create the marriage of your dreams.  And your dream marriage should not replicate any other.  That would be quite boring –and unoriginal- don’t you think?

YOUR TURN: Have you ever kept score in your marriage?  What did you do to change that pattern?

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book like none other.  Guaranteed.

Top 20 Summer Date Ideas on the Web

I don’t know about you but searching on the web for great summer date ideas didn’t provide me with much inspiration.

The same ole ones kept coming up over and over again: Picnics, outdoor concerts, drive-in movies, stargazing…  But I was looking for some truly unique ideas.  At least a few we’ve not done already. 

And so began my quest to uncover the top 20 summer date nights on the web (and to come up with a few on my own).  

I think you’ll agree these date ideas are pretty different (and tons of fun).  So grab your honey and turn up the excitement on your summer.

Top 20 Summer Date Ideas on the Web

1. Watch a Meteor Shower  Drive up to the mountains, lay in the bed of a truck (or on the hood of your car) and watch a meteor shower.  Talk about romantic.  There are 8 meteor showers expected this year and the next one is in just a couple months.  

So this summer, head out past the city lights on August 12th to catch something that can rival the best of fireworks: the Perseid Meteor Shower.  Grab some blankets, pillows, wine and dessert and have a romantic night among the stars.

2. Set Up Your Own Lemonade Stand  On the hottest day of the year, head to the curb and channel your second grade selves by setting up a lemonade stand for the sweltering bystanders. Be sure to make the lemonade free, or use proceeds to raise money for a good cause. 

3. Make Love Under the Full Moon  Now, if you have neighbors who can see into your backyard or if you’re in an apartment, it may be best to just open the window in your bedroom.  But for those lucky enough to have a private backyard, pull the comforter off your bed, grab a bottle of wine and two glasses, and take your date outside.  You have just a few more times to catch a full moon before the year ends and two of those dates are this summer.

4. Take a Mystery Trip  Download a map of your state (or even if you live in a big state), each close your eyes and point your finger randomly on the map.  Decide whose location looks more intriguing and plan a trip or weekend getaway there.

5. World Cup Date  You only have between now and Sunday, July 13^th to enjoy this gnarly and unique summertime date so make sure to schedule it soon!  Whether or not you’re a soccer fan, this can still be a blast.  Decide what country you want to root for and go all out.  Paint your face (or your belly if you dare) the color of the country’s flag , wear shirts or hats representing your chosen team, and serve food and drinks from that country (if you’re rooting for Argentina, for instance, you’d paint yourself light blue and white and serve something like homemade empanadas).  This date takes a little planning so look at the FIFA World Cup schedule and decide which match works best for your date.  If it’s happening in the middle of your work day, even better!  This date idea gives you the perfect excuse to take the day off.  

6. Play Tourists  Pretend you’re tourists for the day (fanny packs optional): Make up a story about your lives-maybe you are long-lost lovers reunited for one day only-and go sightseeing around your city.  Take pictures of each other and get lost in the city, stop inside places you often pass but never go into, and grab snacks to go.  Afterward, you can say, “Well, we’ll always have Paris.”  Or Boston or Raleigh or Phoenix or Minneapolis…you get the gist.

7. Go Berry Picking  Everyone loves fresh fruit, and there’s no better way to get it than straight from the source. Berries are a summer fruit, and chances are you have a farm within driving distance that will allow you to pick berries and pay for them by the pound. Grab a basket, and then head home and see what you can do with them. Maybe bake a homemade pie or cobbler, or simply enjoy them on their own. Frozen berries make for great “ice cubes” in wine, champagne and cocktails.

8. Scavenger Hunt at the Zoo  “Don’t just go on a date – go on an adventure. Couples who solve clues together stay together.”  This date was inspired by How About We’s list of most popular dates in New York.  But don’t think this date can’t be done outside of the Bronx Zoo.  Anywhere else with grass, trees (and preferably rare animals) will do the trick.  Don’t have a zoo nearby, try an aquarium.  You might be surprised to find there is one near you no matter where you live in the world.

9. A Moment in Time  Seal your time together by constructing and burying a time capsule. Gather memorabilia that symbolizes your love for one another. A wedding invitation, saved wine cork, concert/plane ticket, copy of children’s birth records, meaningful photos, love letters and anything else that is unique to the story of your love.  Do one of the other date ideas here and take pictures to remind you of this summer.  Be sure to include a note to the capsule’s future retrievers.

10. Sunrise, Sunset  This date will get your spouse excited first thing in the morning and ensure you end the day that exact same way.  Pre-pack a bag with your morning coffee or tea, bagels (or whatever you and your spouse enjoy for breakfast) and have it ready to go.  Set the alarm before sunrise but don’t let your spouse know what you’re doing.  Then when the alarm goes off, help him get dressed (sleep still in the eyes and all), grab his hand and the pre-packed bag and head to your nearest park.  Watch the sunrise together while enjoying your coffee and pastries.  Then do it again…this time that night…and fill the thermos with hot cocoa or red wine this time around.

11. Take Me Out to the Ballgame  Hot dogs + minor league baseball, where teams play for the love of the game, not a bajillion dollars = the perfect all-American evening. Check out the Major League schedule or the minor league schedule here to find a team near you.

12. Service For Two  Sometimes when things aren’t going the way we want them to in life, we get SO involved with worrying about ourselves that we forget the very thing that we can do to help us feel better: serve others!  If you want to feel closer to your spouse, do something for others with your spouse.  Sounds a little crazy, but IT WORKS.  Even small acts of kindness performed side by side with our spouse can bring us closer together and help our marriage be more fulfilling.  Don’t believe it?  Seriously.  Try it.

13. Drift Away  Rent or borrow a couple of kayaks, a rowboat or a sailboat—whatever makes the most sense considering your experience and ability—and spend the afternoon or early evening exploring local waterways.  Moving slowly through the water in a wind- or human-powered craft will reduce your stress level, give you and your date a chance to talk, and increase your chances of spotting some wildlife.

14. Hot Wheels  Summer is the ideal season to get active. And a great way to combine exercise with dating is to grab a couple of bicycles and go for a leisurely ride along one of the cycle paths one finds by rivers or through one of the larger parks. Cycling dates allow both of you to see the most of nature and the picturesque scenery whilst enjoying each other’s company.  And if exercise isn’t for you, grab a tandem and take it slowly.

15. Visit a Food Festival  Sometimes you have a hankerin’ for something in particular, but other times you just want to try all of the foods. Well, that’s what food festivals were tailor-made for. Bring your lady friend and spend an afternoon hopping from booth to booth, sampling what your local vendors have to offer. Sometimes they’re broken up by cuisines/regional styles, and other times there’s an overall theme (like barbecue or Southern food). Either way, you’ll have a great time together tasting new things and comparing notes.

16. Backyard Camping  A tent + blankets and pillows + a flashlight + an empty house = A fun, romantic backyard camp out. S’mores optional!

17. I-Spy a Fun Summertime Date  A hot sexy man, his cute little wife, the family car, a few activities, some treats and an amazing view from afar!  Are these some of the things you all “spy” on a daily basis?  Me too!!  Have you ever wanted to be a detective? Go around spying on people and things?  Print out this I-Spy invitation for your spouse from The Dating Divas or use it as inspiration to design your own.  Load the car with an I-Spy book, a magnifying glass, an I-Spy bag or jar, blankets, snacks and the list of things you will “spy” on your date.

18. Get Up, Get Out, Get Fit  There is no better time to get fit than the summer.  And no better person to get in shape with than your spouse.  Here are five great ways to get fit together this summer (while having loads of fun).

19. Channel Your Inner Child  Do some of your favorite summer activities from when you were kids.  Hit balls at a batting cage, race go-carts, challenge him to a round of mini golf, and, if you live near a boardwalk, play a few games and try to win a stuffed animal. 

20. Adult Game Night  An adult-only game night + a bit of sexy wagering = competition (that doubles as foreplay). Actress Victoria Rowell, author of Tag, Toss, and Run says, “Game nights are my absolute favorite way to have a date with my husband—and it’s even better in the summer when you can take things outside. We string some Christmas lights and laugh our heads off.”

YOUR TURN: Do you have a creative summer or outdoor date idea that’s not on our list?  Please add it below!

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book like none other.  Guaranteed.

The Most Common Trait of Happy Marriages (5 Ways to Do It Better)

*Welcome to week seven of this 12-week series based on the New York Times® bestselling book, Happy Wives Club.  Join me each week as I share 12 principles about marriage I’ve learned from some of the happiest couples around the world.*

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Each week, when I come to the pages of the Happy Wives Club, I do so with the hope that someone will be inspired.  And not just anyone.  You.   Beautiful, wonderful you.

The posts are always written for wives because that is who this site was created to serve.  That is who has always frequented these pages.  That is, until as of late. 

Since the beginning of this year, I’ve seen a sharp rise in the number of husbands visiting the site.  Most come in hopes of learning how to make their own wives happy. 

Of course, I’d never attempt to give advice on how to make one person’s spouse happy as each marriage is as different as a fingerprint. 

I do, however, share what I’ve discovered to be the most common trait among happily married couples I’ve interviewed over the years.  

And seven installments into our 12 Weeks to a Happier Marriage series, it seemed like the perfect time to share it here.  Two simple words:

Mutual respect.

Whenever I share this, there is always a sigh of relief.  “I can do that!”  And then as they continue to reflect on those two seemingly simple words, they usually come back with a follow-up, “So what does respect look like and how do I do that better?”

Years ago, not long after I began this club, a local newspaper publishing a story on me sent their photographer to my home.  During our time together, he shared that he and his wife had just been in an argument over dinner the night before.

His wife had taken the time to cook a wonderful meal.  But when she was ready to serve it, he continued working on some photos he’d begun editing. She became frustrated. He responded in a like manner, and as is usually the case in these scenarios, an argument ensued.

I posed one simple question to this newly married photographer. I’d heard another counselor ask it of a feuding couple: “Think of someone you hold in high esteem. The president. The chancellor of your university. Your pastor.  Your rabbi. Think of that person you have enormous respect for and tell me how you would have responded if he or she called for you and said, ‘The meal I was preparing for dinner is now ready’?”

The photographer thought about it for a brief moment, gave a smile that let me know he ‘got it,’ and then conceded he would have gone to the dinner table immediately.

I reminded him that his wife was the only person he chose and subsequently pledged to be with for the remainder of his life. He wasn’t given an option in choosing his parents or siblings. He didn’t have the deciding vote in who would be his country’s president. He certainly had no say in selecting his university’s chancellor. But he held each of them in higher regard than he held his wife—the one person he not only had the pleasure of choosing, but who also honored him by reciprocating that choice.

Respect is not said.  Respect is shown.  It is seen in our day-to-day actions and the happiest couples have this down pat.  If you ever want to see respect in full bloom, just spend time around a couple who has been happily married for decades.  They joke with each other, tease one another over their flaws and quirks.  But through the jokes and teasing, the respect is always palpable. 

It is always there, in the midst of every word and every action.

To answer the second part of the question I generally get from husbands -how they can respect their wives better- I generally offer these suggestions (which are relevant to both spouses):

5 Ways to Show the Most Common Trait of a Happy Marriage:

1. Treat your spouse like they are the most important person in the world.  Because they are.  No one else has pledged their life to you.  No other person has committed to be with you through the ups and the downs, the good times and the bad, through wealth and poverty.  No person experiences your rawest emotions and greatest flaws more often than your spouse.  That alone has earned them a place above all other beings on earth.

2. Think about what respect looks like to you and replicate that.  Yes, what your spouse needs from you to feel love may be different than what you need from them (that’s why Dr. Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages is so brilliant).  But respect is respect.  Ask yourself, “How can my spouse show they respect me more?”  And then do everything that comes to mind in response to that question.  The golden rule of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you applies to respect just as it does all else.

3. Do not allow a mistake to negate what has already been earned.  Respect, as most often defined, is “a positive feeling of esteem or deference for a person or other entity, and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem.”  We all make mistakes.  Every day.  Not one of us is perfect.  Not even you.  There is never a good reason to disrespect your spouse.  Yes, address the issue.  Deal with the mistake.  Don’ sweep it under the rug.  But when addressing it, try to always do so with the utmost respect.

4. Speak through a filter.  If you’ve visited this site for a couple years, you likely know my two favorite acronyms are AEOD. (Accept Each Other’s Differences) and NJLG: No Judgment.  Love.  Grace.  When speaking with your spouse, applying this filter to your mouth can go a long way.  If the words travel through a filter of NJLG –meaning, if you ask yourself, “Are these words seasoned with grace?  Are they without judgment and are they sprinkled with love?” it will be hard for you to ever say something to your spouse lacking respect. 

5. Remember that respect has no gender.  Women, men, husbands, wives – the key to this common trait among happy marriages is the word that goes in front of respect: Mutual.   In the happiest of marriages, respect and reverence swings both ways.  Your spouse gave up their most prized possession –their life- and placed it in the palm of your hands the day they said, “Til’ death do us part.”  There are few phrases more powerful than that, and the person who said them to you and meant it, deserves your honor and respect.

YOUR TURN: What would you add to this list?  In what ways can a husband or wife show greater respect to their spouse?

Until next time…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book like none other.  Guaranteed.

6 Surprising Benefits of Dating Your Husband

Oh, the joys of dating!  Sometimes when I hear people talk about date night, they make it sound so obligatory.  Because someone said they should do it once a week, they do it, but sometimes they’d rather not.

When I hear people talk like that about their date nights, I think, Oh, how I wish they knew how fun dating can be!  I think a part of the problem is so many think date nights need to take tons of planning or work.

Going (or staying in) on a date with your spouse should not feel like work.  You can do tiny things like a frozen yogurt date or a coffee date (where you just go to your local shop, order what you want and enjoy 30 minutes together just connecting).  

You don’t have to get dressed up or bring out the china.  Dating is about connection.  Yes, sometimes you may have the energy to plan a date that is a little more involved.  And other times you might not.  Go with whatever feels right for you, your spouse, and works with your schedule.

Dating is so important to keeping the fire lit in your marriage.  And as Kim Hall with TooDarnHappy.com shares today, there are also some great benefits you may not have considered until now.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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First, let’s talk about what it means to date your husband.

I love how Paula Rollo described this, and I’ll paraphrase: At the core, it’s about taking the time together to deepen and grow your relationship.

It’s that simple, and it can take multiple forms.

The point is to spend time together enjoying and paying attention to one another.

You already know dates help rekindle romance and build intimacy, but there are other surprising rewards as well.

6 Surprising Benefits of Dating Your Husband

1. Create shared stories. These can be about something big, like a weekend away at a luxurious B&B, or small, like the walk at dusk where you saw the sparkling dance of the fireflies.  Stories are the ties that bind you together and keep your family strong.

2. Build resiliency. Sometimes ants overrun your romantic picnic, or rain pours down on your trip. The ability to find the good in and laugh at most anything, especially when you share those moments, builds resiliency that will help you bounce back from bigger challenges.

3. Be a great a role model. The idea of dating your husband and thereby putting your marriage first can be a controversial one, as Fawn notes here. She makes this important point, though: “Being a living example of the marriage you want for your own children teaches them at an early age what love looks like (and what it doesn’t).”

4. Move out of your comfort zone. Growth occurs on the edges of your comfort zone; not on your comfy couch cushions. Sharing an activity on that edge is a good thing! It ultimately helps you develop more capability, flexibility, and maybe even more patience, all traits that make for a happier wife.

5. Open the door for more interesting conversations. My hubby and I find that long walks or car rides especially allow time for more expansive, uninterrupted talks. We might choose a topic from the news, Sunday’s sermon, or a current book, or just let the conversation meander. Even though we’ve been married over 31 years, these conversations help us to see each other—and our world—from a new perspective.

6. Move towards a goal. Whether you want to be more fit,  get rid of clutter, or set your sights on anything else important to you both, you will discover a great deal of shared satisfaction when you work as a team towards that goal.

While revitalizing and refreshing your marriage through one-on-one time is important and can be lots of fun, too, I hope these additional benefits provide even more motivation to date your husband!

YOUR TURN: What benefits have you discovered come from dating your spouse?

May you find happiness wherever you are! Kim, your personal Sherpa of Joy at Too Darn Happy

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JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book line none other.  Guaranteed.

The Marriage Effect: How Being Married Makes You Happier & How to Keep It That Way

Create the life you love with the love of your life.  That’s the tagline of one of my favorite marriage blogs, ModernMarried.com.

Life coach, Maggie Reyes, is the founder and main writer on Modern Married and I’m always tickled pink when she hops over to Happy Wives Club to share some of her boundless energy.

I know you love her as much as I do because some of the most popular posts on this site -like this one shared 178,000 times and counting- were written by Maggie.  

First she taught us about a daily vitamin, Vitamin F2, for our marriages and now she’s teaching us a slightly different version of the standard “Double D.”

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

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We love a little research here at the Happy Wives Club and here is the scoop – study after study shows that being married not only results in more frequent and better quality sexual experiences, it also helps us sleep better and have significantly better mental and physical health.

That doesn’t mean marriage can’t be hard sometimes. A good marriage makes you happier but a bad marriage, as we all know, can have an equally profound negative effect on different areas of your life.

This is one of the reasons we celebrate, encourage and model what happy marriages look like. Because we don’t just want you to become a member of the club. We want you to remain a member for years to come.

If you are wondering how marriage makes you happier, beyond the obvious things we know and see every day, here is one fun side-effect of marriage:

Holding your husband’s hand relieves pain.

A study at the University of Virginia studied brain scans that showed that wives holding their husband’s hand reduced the appearance of stress and had calmed the same regions of the brain that an analgesic drug does (think Tylenol or Advil).

Great excuse to hold hands right now, right?

Overall, being married still has a huge impact on your happiness.

I know you can feel that every day, but scientifically, studies also show that for the average person, the quality of their marriage is the factor with the second highest correlation with their life satisfaction (behind genetics) – so finding ways to be happy in your marriage will affect your entire life.

Want to stay married and stay happy?

Go Double D: Date Nights & Deep Conversations

These two simple things will increase both your happiness levels and your marriage satisfaction.

It has been proven over and over again that couples that have new experiences together release the same chemicals in their bodies they had when they were dating – bringing back that newlywed feeling.

This does not have to be complicated. Even if it’s just going to the new burger place around the corner, trying new things will gradually increase both your set point for happiness and your level of satisfaction in your marriage.

Think of easy, doable things as simple as going to a different grocery store or driving back home a different way – whatever you ARE doing right now, see how you can tweak it to add some novelty to it. And I always recommend starting small vs. not starting at all.

Having deep conversations is also important because time after time we see that couples that have intimate knowledge of each other’s lives feel happier, more connected and stay married.

The latest research is not only about couples, but in general – small talk was compared to deep intimate conversations and people who engaged in the deeper conversations reported much higher levels of happiness.

YOUR TURN: Have you noticed a great side-effect of marriage in your life that you didn’t expect? Please share in the comments.

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book line none other.  Guaranteed.

Living Your Eulogy: How to Make Time for What Matters Most

Living Your Eulogy certainly sounds like an odd title for an article on the Happy Wives Club.  But this morning, as I sit in an oversized chair in my hotel room in Rancho Palos Verdes, California, this weighs heavily on my mind.

I am here for an executive board retreat.  And although I sit on a couple nonprofit exec boards, this weekend, I am here as the spouse.  

My husband, who would most certainly prefer to be sitting next to me while I write this overlooking the glistening ocean, is in a nondescript board room somewhere on the hotel grounds.

As I walked to grab a cup of tea at the front of the hotel this morning, I saw his group having breakfast on a terrace nearby.  

Keith loves red eyes (coffee with a shot of espresso), so while ordering my tea, I decided to order him one.  I then sent a text, “I got you a red eye and will stealthily drop it off.  I love u!”  

On the way back to my room, I went to the area where I’d seen them earlier and asked a young worker, “Please take this coffee to the tall black guy in the room – he’s 6’4″.”  

Twenty minutes later, upon seeing the text, I received one back, “Oh, they gave it to Dutch – wrong black guy.”  Moments later, “I’m drinking it now – I love you,” was his response.

When all our friends and family gather to say farewell to me for the last time, it’s memories and exchanges like this I want to be remembered.  That I thought of my husband often and tried to surprise him with little things he loves.  That I was a wife who loved her man with an endearing love, an unwavering love, a fully trusting love.

This is what I want to be included in my eulogy.

There will be no mention of my business achievements.  There will be no mention of my ability to multi-task and get through my overutilized email inbox by the end of each weekend.

Who cares about that?

Earlier this year, when releasing my book, Happy Wives Club, I set an audacious goal: to debut at the top of the New York Times Best Sellers list.  When it debuted at #3, behind Lone Survivor and The Wolf of Wall Street -both books based on hugely popular movies at the time and nominated for Academy Awards- I considered that a failure.

When the vice president of marketing for my publishing company called to tell me the “great news,” he was met by an awkward silence.  I was disappointed.  I’d set a goal and didn’t achieve it.  For months, I didn’t celebrate that amazing milestone but rather remained focus on how to do get it to the top of the chart.  The type-A in me wouldn’t let that goal go unmet.

But why not?

When the inscription is placed on my tombstone, there will be no mention of bestselling books.  My ability to keep the house clean, while juggling the writing of my next book, inking new business deals and building brand partnerships, will be nowhere to be found.

Because none of that really matters.

What will be on my tombstone, God-willing, is: Fawn Weaver -loving wife, nurturing mother, faithful sister and daughter, friend to the needy.”  That’s it.  That is what I hope to leave behind. 

So where do the emails, business deals, bestselling books, and everything else that has taken up the bulk of this year fall?  Nowhere.  There is no place for it on my tombstone.  There will be no mention of it in my eulogy.

In 1888, the brother of Dr. Alfred Nobel died.  In error, several newspapers printed his obituary.  When he opened one of the french papers and read the headline, “Le marchand de la mort est mort,” which is translated, “The Merchant of Death is Dead,” he was horrified.  The obituary went on to say, “Dr. Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday.”

It is reported that Alfred was so disappointed by what he read that when he passed away, his last will and testament -signed after his ill-timed obituary was printed- gave 94-percent of his wealth (in today’s time, around $500 million) to establish what we now know as the Nobel Peace Prize.  In getting a glimpse of what was destined to be his obituary, he decided to spend his final years rewriting it.

Dr. Alfred realized money, power and wealth are not what people remember.  It is everything -minus those things- that will account for your life: generosity of heart, love of family, care for people, graciousness and the like.  

Many of us take pride in our busyness.  But what are we busy doing?  If it is not adding to what we will leave behind, rest assured, it is subtracting from it.

So what are you currently giving priority to that will not matter once you’re gone?  I challenge you to begin, in this moment, living the life you want to be remembered for when you’re gone.  To give your absolute all to your spouse, family and friends.  

That email can wait.

Those dirty dishes will still be there in 4 hours.

Take a moment to have a glass of wine with the ones you love, toast to the breath of life, and commit to begin tomorrow different than you began today: prioritizing your life based on what you desire to be said once it comes to an end.  Because, ready or not, it will assuredly come to an end.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book like none other.  Guaranteed.

5 Fun Ways to Get Fit With Your Man

Last summer, Happy wife, Olympian, fitness coach and home-schooling momma of two, Annett Davis, wrote this fabulous post on Sexercise for us.

What could be better than revving up your metabolism while boosting your sex life? Well, when I think about it, probably not much.  BUT, she has given us something else to look forward to this summer!

Even if you’re not a fan of exercise, just like her post on sexercise, she’s giving us a sneaky way to enjoy time with our spouses while burning some calories.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day! 

____________

As soon as I read the Happy Wives Club book, there was one marriage secret that jumped out at me.  Well, really, it wasn’t a secret as much as it was something Fawn noticed in all the wives she interviewed around the world: it seemed as though they’d tapped into the fountain of youth.

One thing happily married couples have in common is that they really enjoy each other’s presence (a lot), which can help keep them young.  And there’s just something about those endorphins from laughing and enjoying life together.  

Bottom line: a happy marriage = years off your life (seriously, there have been tons of studies done on this by Mayo Clinic and so many others which confirm that those happily married live longer and healthier lives than singles).  

Personally, there is no other person in the world that I would rather be with for extended periods of time than my husband.

If you are like me, and love to spend time with your man, why not get fit with him as well?

Currently, my husband and I are doing P90x3 together with some other couples in my virtual fitness accountability group and are loving it! Sometimes it can be tough if your hubby is extremely intense working out, like mine can be, but it can also be a lot of FUN!

There’s nothing more special than getting healthy together.  So here they are…

5 Ways to Get Fit With Your Man (while having fun!)

1. Tandem Biking is a fun way to enjoy the great outdoors with your hubby.  It involves trust and teamwork.  If you are near the beach or a lake, small shops usually rent these.  If you aren’t near the water just grab your own single rider bikes and go on a bike ride together through your city.

2.  Two-Person Kayaking is another great way to enjoy a beautiful day.  You can usually rent them from a sporting goods store, or if you decide to go often, they are fairly inexpensive.  Head out to your nearest body of water (make sure you follow local rules) and have a great time enjoying the water.

3. Couples Fun Run is something you can do in many different settings. There are tons of 5 and 10K runs that a couple can do together. For instance, there are mud runs, zombie runs, color runs, and even Disney runs.  It would be fun to pick 2 different runs a year.  The first one being his choice and the second yours.  It can become something you both look forward to every year.

4. Hiking in picturesque areas like mountains, beaches, or through the forest can not only give you a great workout, but will also create some amazing memories. During your hike make sure you take some time to stop and enjoy the sights and sounds – share your thoughts and dreams and enjoy each others company. 

5.  Dance Class can really test your relationship (in a good way).  When dancing you must learn to trust, and to let him lead (which can be tough for some of us).  You’ll both learn new things, and burn a ton of calories.  This can also turn into a weekly date night! My husband and I signed up for a 6 week course, it was the BEST thing we’ve ever done.

YOUR TURN: What types of workouts do you and your husband do together?

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book line none other.  Guaranteed.

7 Quick Ways to Empower Your Husband

It’s not often that one of our husband’s write a post for the Happy Wives Club, but when they do, I’m always over the moon excited!

I don’t know if you’ve found this to be true, but I’ve noticed most men tend to have far fewer words to say than us wives (or is that just in the Weaver household? ). But when they do say something, they try to make it count.

There’s no doubt that’s exactly what Byron Davis with LiveYourEpicLife.com is doing for us today.

And I have a feeling if my wonderful hubby, Keith, happens to stumble across this page tomorrow, he’s going to LOVE this post as much as I did. And hopefully, as much as you will too.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

___________

Okay ladies, I’m about to admit something that you probably already know - but us guys like to think you don’t (wink, wink):  

In general, guys like to pretend we are totally confident 100% of the time, but the truth is most of us are still little insecure boys (just with bigger toys).

Why am I admitting this to you? Allow me to let you in on another little secret: when you demonstrate to us that you believe in us, or show that you trust us to handle things that you care about, it actually empowers us to keep bringing our A-game to the relationship.

When we know that you are in our corner it actually triggers what behavioral scientist call our “protect and provide” instincts (otherwise known as the “hero gene”) and we can’t help but to let our best selves take the lead in our life.

You see, at any given moment we can be:

a. Our defeated self
b. Our average self or
c. Our best self

Believe it or not, what you say to us carries a tremendous amount of weight. It either builds us up or tears us down (you decide). No matter how much we puff out our chest at times, please don’t forget, how you empower us makes all the difference in the world.

With that said, here are 7 stealthy ways to empower your husband without him even knowing it:

1. Catch your man doing something right:  Ladies, you take multitasking to a whole new level. It amazes us men that you could be on the phone with your girlfriend, changing diapers, and doing the taxes all at the same time. Meanwhile we find it hard to locate the can of soup you asked us to put on the counter (we swear, the soup was not on that shelf when we looked for it).

When we actually get the little things right give us a high five or fist bump (don’t make a big deal out of it because you want to come across like you knew we could do it all the time). It truly does go a long way.

2. Pinch his butt:  Again, the power is in the subtlety. When you flirt with your man it reminds him that you think “he still has it.” Because men, generally speaking, are physical beings by showing that you still find him attractive it boosts his self esteem and increases his emotional connection with you.

3. Thank him for his dedication to the family:  While we can always do things better, when we are acknowledged for effort, and not just the outcome, it shows that you appreciate the stuff that went into making things happen. To turbo charge your influence with this tip, tie his efforts to how it positively impacts the family.

By doing this your man will feel even more motivated to increase his consistency and up his game.

4. Lob him a softball (ask his advice on something- make him feel like a hero): A super simple way to do this is to ask him a question about something he knows a lot about. When you do this and connect it directly to a problem you want solved, your man will feel appreciated and validated for the little things he brings to the relationship.

5. Initiate Sex More Often:  Ladies, this is a big one. No one likes to feel rejected. When your husband starts hinting that he’d like some “play time” with you please remember that for most men there was a lot of emotional ramping up before hand just to approach you. Even if you’ve been married to your husband for 30 years, please realize that he probably still must overcome the fear of rejection whenever he asks you the big question.

To offset this simple fact, initiate 1 out of every 4 or 5 times.

Guess what? He will always be amazed and it will never get old. When you take the initiative in this area from time to time, not only does it subtly reinforce in his mind what he means to you, studies show his confidence in other areas of life instantly increase as well.

6. Quote him to your friends:  My wife uses this one on me a lot, and it works like a charm every time. It’s one thing to share some advice that you got from an expert out of some book, but it’s a whole other thing entirely when the resident expert is you hubby.

Try it for yourself. The next time you are at a dinner party and you are engaging in small talk with another couple say something like, “my husband always says…” and watch how it lights him up. You’ll make him think that he’s the most interesting man in the world!

 7. Trust him with something he currently is convinced you don’t:  I saved the most potent, ninja technique for last. It just might require more confidence from you than you’ve given him in awhile. Look, we men get it; you are great at biting the bullet and getting stuff done. You are so good at it that in most cases you find it easier to just take it all on yourself.

You’ve learned that if you want to make sure it’s done, you’ll just go ahead and do it yourself. But, if you want to boost your man’s confidence and sense of contribution to the family, trust him to do something he knows you are a little afraid to let go of. Yeah he may have let you down in the past. I say that’s all the more reason to give him another shot.

When he realizes that something means a lot to you and that you trust him to accomplish it, it will cause him to tap into new wells of efficacy that take his game to the next level. Heck, he may even be surprised at just how good he could be.

YOUR TURN: Have any of these ninja tactics worked for you?  Do you know one I didn’t mention?  Let me know below and I can’t wait to see your responses.

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book like none other.  Guaranteed.

Practical Date Night Idea That Will Rock Your Marriage

Forget getting dressed up or putting on makeup.  

Don’t worry about setting up the perfect meal with candlelight and a bottle of wine.

Date night is about connecting. It’s about sharing your most precious commodity: time.

So often, we can miss the fun of date night by planning date night.  Here’s to a practical date night that will continue to rock your marriage long after it’s over.  

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

____________

Last week, we talked about ways to clear the electronic clutter from our daily lives to spend more time offline lovingly connecting with our spouses.

Now it’s time to turn to physical clutter.  What does this have to do with a date night?  Don’t worry, I’ll get to that in just a moment.

All that stuff we own and buy (and keep buying!) can get in the way of having physical space to bond and share with our honeys and our families. Not to mention the debt it can cause, but that is a blog post for another day.

First, let’s review why clutter can be so stressful.

Several research studies have shown that clutter overloads your senses and stress hormones spike up.

Have you ever had too many tabs open in your computer and noticed the computer going much slower? You close a few tabs and suddenly your computer can process information much faster. Imagine that happening in your brain.

Now imagine your spouse comes home, after a stressful day, and wants and needs your attention. But you my dear friend are already overloaded.

Not good.

I think we can all agree that love is more important than things right?

>And yet, we let physical things get in the way of love way too easily sometimes.

Remember this – “mess causes stress.” Remember it so that you can do something about it.

First ask yourself, does your home feel like your sanctuary?

Is there a particular space in your home where your Clutter-Guard goes up?

Start there and ask your hubby if he would be willing to have a De-Clutter Date. (Yes, you really can make it fun! And yes it’s a totally free date night idea. You’re welcome.)

Ideas for a De-Clutter Date -

• Make a playlist for your iPod.

• Choose some yummy take out or your favorite quick and easy meal.

• Decide on a prize or activity you can enjoy at the end.

• Brainstorm how you can make it fun to clear your space.

• Schedule it. Because if it’s not on the schedule, it won’t happen.

• What are you doing this weekend? (Yes, that was a not-so-subtle-hint!)

If you don’t have time this weekend, then start with the tiniest increment of time you can. The idea is to experience more peace and order and not get overwhelmed, so permission for baby steps is totally granted. Start tiny and even if it’s just one junk drawer, decide what to keep and what to give to charity or throw away.

Here are 5 ways you can start clearing clutter right now:

I learned these from watching Peter Walsh over the years on Oprah.

Start asking yourself these questions to determine what to keep or clear out.

1. When was the last time I used this? Over 2 years is definitely in the bye pile. (Unless it’s my wedding dress, which I have permission from the hubs to keep forever.)

2.  Am I keeping it for sentimental reasons? (In the case of my wedding dress, you betcha!)

3.  Can we use it again?

4.  Do I love it?

5.  Will someone else find it more useful than me?

That last one is something I discovered over the years. That sometimes giving away things gives me the sweetest joy just by imagining someone else being blessed by something I once found beautiful and useful.

Also use these questions when you are going to add anything to your home, being more selective before we buy things helps keep what we love in and what becomes clutter out.

To help with this it’s also useful to learn the difference between STUFF and TRASH.

(Yes, I made up acronyms for them!)

STUFF = Symbols That Undeniably Feel Fabulous (hint – you can keep those!)

TRASH = Things Resembling Authentic Success (that are truly) Hogwash (you guessed it, those are in the bye-bye pile!)

STUFF = that old sweater from when you were dating that your hubby loves on you, KEEP.

TRASH = those really expensive shoes that you never wear, GO.

You can read more about my whole Stuff and Trash adventures in de-cluttering here

YOUR TURN: Is there too much clutter in your home? Right here in the comments tell us which room/drawer/closet/storage space you will tackle first and how you want to feel when you are done with that space.

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JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book line none other.  Guaranteed.

6 Ways to Flirt with Your Husband–Right Now!

 

Our resident sex expert, Sheila Wray Gregoire, is back to help us all get a little flirty!  You’ve got three days before the week officially comes to an end.  Make it count.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

____________

Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you should stop flirting–with your husband, of course.

So, ladies, get your flirt on!

1. Leave a love note on the mirror

Using a dry erase marker (or even lipstick!), leave a love note on your honey’s bathroom mirror. Say, “I love you”, or “Thank you for last night”, or “Can’t wait until you get home…”

2. Kiss in the car at stoplights

That never gets old. And don’t forget at least one 15 second kiss a day!

3. Have a secret code phrase

Want to tell him you think he’s hot?  Try a secret code phrase, like “Are we due for an oil change?” No one else will know what you really mean but him, so you can say it in front of the kids, in front of your parents, in front of anybody!

4. Flash him–but not in public!

Is he watching TV? Reading his email? Walk by him and flash him–and then leave the room. See if he follows!

This one takes a little more daring, but it’s fun. Need to do some cleaning? Try it bralessly. Scrub and bounce for him! Or bend over to dust right in front of him.

5. Play Footsie

When you’re at a restaurant with tablecloths, slip your shoe off and let your toes explore his legs. Get him all worked up while you carry on a normal conversation.

6. Text, text, text your husband

Finally, here’s one you can do right now–even if he’s not home! Text him about anything–song lyrics, memories of fun times you’ve had, what you’re wearing, what you’re thinking about. You don’t have to make it too graphic in case you’re worried about someone else seeing, but you can use your secret code phrase. Or just say something like, “Thanks for making me sleep like a baby! I may need some help drifting off tonight, too.”

Men love to feel that we’re thinking of them and that we want them. It’s often easier for wives to say, “I love you” than it is for them to say, “I want you.” But guys want to hear both!

So try some of these, and you won’t just be a happy wife. You’ll be the happy wife of a happy hubby!

Want more ideas of how to flirt? Read Sheila’s complete list, 16 Ways to Flirt with your Husband. And don’t forget the best Father’s Day gift you can give your husband–31 Days to Great Sex. It’s only $5!

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JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

 

 

THE BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book line none other.

8 Crucial Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Marriage

If I could go back and tell my younger self a handful of things about marriage, what would they be?  Now, that I’ve been married for over a decade, what would I do differently?

These are questions I asked myself after reading this wonderful post from HWC contributor and author, Christine St. Vil.  

I paused for a second to think of the answer, the first one that comes to mind is something Christine previously shared was the best marriage advice she’d received: Begin with the end in mind. 

What would you tell your younger self about marriage, if going back in time were possible?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

___________

My husband and I have been together for a pretty long time (together for fifteen and married for almost nine). Although we are extremely blessed to be living in a happy marriage, I often reminisce on earlier days by taking a trip down memory lane.

As I sat down to think about the lessons I learned as I grew up in my own marriage, I thought about all of the advice I’ve learned along the way, ones that if it were possible, I’d go back and pass on to my younger self.

8 Crucial Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Marriage

1. Marriage is not a magic wand.  Marriage will not solve any unresolved issues you had prior to getting married. Those little things that get on your nerves before marriage that you never say anything about, will only escalate. They don’t magically disappear. So start expressing yourself openly and honestly, but most importantly, lovingly. Whatever issues you have, they can be resolved with love and communication, so use those simultaneously.

2. All marriages were not created equal. It is not a one-size fits all kinda deal. Take marriage advice from those who are wiser and more experienced (and especially those who are happy). But don’t try to mirror everything you see, exactly as you see it. Take the great advice and examples, and adjust them to fit your unique marriage.

3. Your selfish days are over (or at least, they ought to be). The “Team of Me” will not last in marriage. Marriage is give and take and if you only focus on taking, you will put your marriage in a bad situation. Stop being spoiled, and learn to suck it up and move on, especially when you know you’re in the wrong.

4. Having kids changes things. Before you have kids, you can come and go as you please and not think twice about it. You can frequent your favorite carry-out and sleep in until your heart’s content. Having kids after marriage is the most rewarding blessing. But just be prepared that things will change…for the better. Kids make you grow up a bit and put your big girl panties on. Suddenly, you no longer care about how long you used to sleep or hang out before kids.

5. Focus on the things that matter. Nine years later and I (almost) don’t care that the bottom tier of my wedding cake was dropped and that it wasn’t the four-tier cake I had dreamed of (and paid for). I also (almost) don’t care that we had to stage our wedding day six months after the fact in order to capture all of the photos we failed to capture on the actual wedding day. In hindsight, I got to wear my dress and cathedral length veil twice in less than a year, when most never wear these two items more than once.

6. Learn to talk to your husband not at him. You’ll get so much further in conversations and discussions when you figure this one thing out. Although some behaviors may mimic that of a child at times, he is not your child nor should he be spoken to as such. Humility and respect go a long way.

7. You can’t tell your girlfriends everything. It’s your job to protect your husband’s character. So be careful about the details you share with even your closest girlfriends. Your number one commitment and honor should always be to your spouse. 

8. Marriage will change you. And that’s okay. No, you can’t hang out all night with your girlfriends regularly, or have drunken sleepovers (okay sometimes it’s necessary just not all the time). You may find yourself gaining new friends, new married friends that can understand your and speak your new language. 

YOUR TURN: What marriage lessons would you tell your younger self?

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JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book line none other.  Guaranteed.

5 Special Gifts for National Husband’s Day

On January 22, 2014, we sponsored an unofficial new holiday: National Husband’s Day. A special day set aside for the nearly 1 million women in the Happy Wives Club community to celebrate our husbands.

Initially, my hope was we’d be able to get a government official to proclaim the day on our behalf. Our team began working on that and quickly realized the many complications of getting a date named as a holiday officially. But who needs official?

National Peanut Butter Day is one of my absolute favorite holidays. No government official has yet to recognize that officially but that doesn’t stop me from indulging in a few more spoonfuls of that tasty stuff just at the mention of its national holiday.

So let’s celebrate our special day together!

To make it easy, we’ve come up with 5 special (and free) gifts you can give your husband today to commemorate the occasion.

1. Print this certificate. If you didn’t get a chance to print this off last year, you may still want to print it now to let your husband know you’re a proud member of this club and because of his love, you’ve sponsored this day honoring him. This is the original sponsorship certificate so it includes the original 2014 date. Here is one dated for 2015.

2. Customize this proclamation. If you printed the above certificate last year as one of the original sponsors of National Husband’s Day (or even if you didn’t), we’ve created a customizable proclamation for you to give your husband this year. Customize it. Print it out (legal size paper). Frame it. Then deliver to him a gift sure to make him proud. (If your computer doesn’t allow you to customize the PDF, print this one to handwrite his name and your name instead).

3. Print a customized Book of Love. This fantastic DIY coupon book from The Dating Divas is something sure to knock your husband’s socks off. Surprise him with this creative book that gives him all the things he wants most…one coupon at a time.

4. Write the perfect love letter. Have you ever written your husband a love letter? Not just a few words at the bottom of a card but actually write the card yourself? If not, today’s a pretty fantastic day to sharpen your writing skills. To make it easy, here are 7 ways to write the perfect love letter.

5. Spoil your spouse date night. There’s no better night than tonight to spoil your spouse. This date night is all about doing what your husband loves to do. No marital compromise here –this is his night!

Any excuse to celebrate those fabulous hubbies of ours is a good enough excuse for me.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

We’re SO close to our goal! JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book. I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way. It’s a marriage book like none other. Guaranteed.