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20 Fun Ways to Surprise Your Husband

Thursday, September 11th, 2014

Few things make my husband feel more special than a well thought out surprise.

I’m not sure why a gift is better when it comes as a surprise rather than something expected, but over the years I’ve discovered the response is definitely different.

If I’m passing the local frozen yogurt shop and call to see if he wants something to go, he’ll always say yes and will be incredibly grateful to receive it.

But if I stop by the frozen yogurt shop without telling him, and then surprise him later in the evening (right about the time his sweet tooth kicks in), then presto chango: I’m the greatest wife in the world!

Depending on what your hubby enjoys, you’ll want to come up with your own surprises. But here are few ideas to get your creative juices flowing.

20 Fun Ways to Surprise Your Husband

1. Create a music video for him. Even if you don’t have a artsy bone in your body (hand raised here), you can do this!

Free sites like Animoto.com and Slide give you all the tools you need. The only thing you have to do is take the time to pull together some of his favorite photos and select the right music.

2. Give him a ‘just because’ gift. Don’t worry, you don’t have to spend much money to come up with a creative gift he’ll love. We’ve come up with 35 cheap, fun and unique gifts for you already.

3. King for a day. Spend an entire day anticipating his wants. This will blow his mind! What is his favorite breakfast? What would he love to see when he comes home? If he wrote down his perfect day for you, what would be on that list? Think about that and then do as many things on that list as possible.

4. Dedicate a song to him on the radio. An oldie but goodie he’d never expect! This one will require some planning (and possibly an hour of calling over and over to your local radio station) but think about how much you’ll make him blush when he hears his name over the airwaves. Just make sure he’s listening to the radio when your dedication comes on.

5. Make a love trail. If you’ve got little ones at home, you’ll need to get creative here so they don’t pick up the trail you attempt to leave behind. Use rose petals, Reese’s Pieces (think E.T. phone home) or whatever he loves to lead him to a special place where the two of you can be alone.

6. Exchange an obligation for a date. I love this one! Ask him to do a mundane task like picking up milk from the store. Then surprise him at the store with tickets to a movie he’s been wanting to see (or tickets to anything) and whisk him away for a special date night he never saw coming.

7. Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner. Throw a dinner party and invite his favorite people to come celebrate him with you – for no particular reason. It could be your in-laws, his closest friends, colleagues or whoever he’d enjoy having dinner with and who love him enough to celebrate him (even when it’s not his birthday).

8. Turn your husband gratitude list into a keepsake. You’ve written down all the things you love about your hubby, right? Great! Now, take that list and turn it into a beautiful gift for him. If you’re like me and haven’t been bit by the “creative bug” just Google the term: Free Printable and you’ll get plenty of DIY options.

9. Repair his beloved, well worn objects. I need to do this one! My husband has a green army jacket that’s 30 years old. I keep threatening to throw it away but for some reason that hideous thing ranks high on his list of things to keep. So if your hubby has something like that, this idea just might do the trick (for your sanity and his happiness).

10. Tuck a sexy love note in his pants pocket (or anywhere you know he’ll find it). Write a sexy note (preferably in red ink – meow..) letting him know how much you look forward to seeing him later that night. He’ll be hot and bothered all day and breaking every traffic law to get home!

11.Lather him up and help him shave. By careful with that razor! But this can be loads of fun. And if he likes a close shave, even better. As you reach in close to make sure not to nick him, all he’ll be able to do is stare into your eyes, look at your nose, lust after you lips. Good luck getting him to let you leave the bathroom after you’ve finished!

12. Dinner under the full moon. Did you know there are sites that tell you when the next full moon will take place? Pick a date and then set up dinner for two outside in the beautiful moonlight.

13. Take your hubby on a passport adventure. This one, we usually do with friends, but you can tailor it to just you and your hubby. Create passports. Choose the countries you will visit. Most of all, have fun!

14. Plan a surprise getaway. There’s no need to break the bank. Sign up for local deals from sites like Living Social or Groupon and enter “travel” as something of interest to you. Every time there is a travel deal, you’ll get an email. You may have to delete 100 of those emails before the right one comes but give it time and you’ll find a deal you can’t refuse.

15. Try any one of these 74 simple things to brighten his day. After a tough day or week, there’s nothing your hubby needs more than a little sunshine.

16. Fall in love with his hobby. Well, maybe not fall in love forever…a day is good. Is there something he loves to do that you use your “hall pass” for every time he mentions it? This time, just go with it! Take up his hobby for a day and show interest in something he loves. Who knows, you might figure out exactly why he loves it so much.

17. Touch but don’t taste. Men love to be touched but don’t always want it to lead to sex. I know that goes against popular beliefs but there are times when he just wants to be held. Stroke him. Hold him. And if he wants to go a little further, by all means…

18. Surprise him with lunch at his job. Sync up your lunch time with your hubby’s and make him (or pick up) his favorite lunch and take it to his office. If you’re not able to stay to enjoy it with him, leave it with a sweet note that makes him smile from ear to ear.

19. Get a little flirty. There are so many ways to get flirty with your husband and one of my favorite bloggers, Sheila Wray Gregoire, gives us six ways here.

20. Spice things up. In the bedroom and outside of it, here are 5 great ways to spice up your marriage.

QUESTION: What fun ways have you surprised your husband in the past?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

THE BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book. I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way. It’s a marriage book like none other.

11 Ways to Drive Your Husband Wild!

Saturday, August 16th, 2014

I bet when you saw that title you instantly thought this post was about sex. Nope! Well, maybe a little bit. But not very much.

I may be of the minority in saying this but I am one that doesn’t buy into the thought that a man is controlled by his…ahem…endowment.

Driving your man wild isn’t something that should be contained to the bedroom…or sex for that matter.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know men love it. But let’s give them credit for being about more than just sex.

Just as you want to be treated like a queen, his heart’s desire is to be treated like a king. So let’s have fun with it!

Although there are so many things you can add to this list, here are 11 ways to drive your husband wild:

1. Make Him Hot and Bothered. I said this entire list wasn’t about sex, but I’m not crazy enough not to include at least one thing you can do to increase your hubby’s sex drive (and your own).

2. Fifteen Seconds a Day Keeps the Blues Away. They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Well, fifteen seconds a day of this will keep the blues in your marriage far far away. And increase that to forty-five seconds to set off some fireworks!

3. Turn Your Home Into a Post-It Heaven. I’ll never forget seeing my mother write sweet notes to my father in red lipstick on mirrors all over their bathroom. Now, that can be a messy proposition and was contained to one area. Expand a little. Make it cute. Make it mushy. Make it flirty.

4. Sharpen Up Your Flirting Skills. There are SO many ways to flirt with your husband (think, sexy texts, playing footsie) and there is nothing like a man on a hunt. Don’t fight it; they were bred that way. Men love the chase! Let him know you want him, desire him, but he’ll have to catch you. *wink*

5. Call Your In-Laws Just to Say Hello. When was the last time you called your in-laws, and not at the prompting of your husband? Remember, these are the people who helped make your husband to be the wonderful man he is today. Reaching out to the ones who brought him into the world (or at least raised him) will do more for him than you can imagine (this, of course, is assuming he has a good relationship with them and they’re not absolutely crazy ).

6. Do Something Brag Worthy. Have you ever sat around listening to men talk about their wives? I have some experience with this, and let me tell you, it’s actually quite cool! Men love bragging about their wives so give them a reason! Begin a Husband Gratitude List and put it in his pants pocket so he’ll find it when he least expects. Wear a tee shirt in public that says, “I Love My Husband.” Whatever it is, make him blush!

7. Kid Swap + Stay-At Home Date = Happy Husband! Surprise him with an at-home date night. If you don’t have children, this is super easy. Turn the house into a fancy restaurant or spa and treat him to an awesome date at home. If you’ve got kiddos, make arrangements for the kids to be away while the two of you have some one-on-one time. When was the last time you did that?

8. The Fun Dare. This one takes some planning but it can be done! Choose between 12 dates over 12 consecutive nights or spread it out over 12 weeks. Either way, you and your husband will have a blast (and you can do this on a very tight budget). For parents, this is definitely the time to use the kid swap.

9. Turn Yourself Into a Piece of Eye Candy. Listen, I’m the first one to say lingerie is not my thing. I find most of it too tight, too short, too itchy, and too everything else. BUT, there is a time and a place for everything and that includes lingerie. It took many years (ahem…8 to be exact) but I finally found some lingerie that serve as both eye candy to him and feel comfortable to me.

10. Get On Board the 10-Minute Express. If you looked at no. 9 and thought, “There’s no way I’m putting all this into something little like that,” then this one is for you! Most of us have a little extra jelly we’d like to not have jiggling so much (hand up in the air), but if that’s keeping you from showing off your body to your husband, try this!

In just ten minutes a day, you can start toning those areas that need a little work. US Olympian, Annett Davis, created this express workout exclusively for the women of HWC so we should all feel quite special!

11. Look Into His Eyes…and Smile. This was so simple I had to leave it for last. Have you ever looked at your husband in the eyes and just allowed the love in your heart to rise to the top and curl the sides of your lips? Watch his smile expand as he looks into your eyes trying to figure out what you’re smiling about. And even if he doesn’t ask…he’ll know.

QUESTION: This list could be SO much longer! What are we missing here? (Add to the list by posting in the comments section.)

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

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SAVE THE DATE: Bloggers, join us here every third Monday of the month for our fabulous link-up party! Join us August 19th for our next Marriage Mondays!

One Thing That Will Increase Happiness in Your Marriage TODAY

Wednesday, July 30th, 2014

*Welcome to week 12 of this 12-week series based on the New York Times® bestselling book, Happy Wives Club. Today, I’m concluding this series with one of the most important tips I’ve learned from the happiest couples around the world.*

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This past Sunday was a picturesque day along the sunny beaches of Southern California. Venice Beach, a small community whose shore I run along almost weekly, was bustling with people.

Beachgoers soaking up the sun, licking ice cream cones before that delicious chocolate and vanilla swirled goodness dripped on the pavement below. There was nothing unusual about this past Sunday, until it was.

Out of nowhere, a sunny day succumbed to monsoon moisture usually reserved for the mountain areas surrounding Los Angeles. The sunshine, abruptly interrupted by a storm that lasted no longer than fifteen minutes but brought with it a deadly bolt of lightning.

“Boom!” was the sound scores of people recalled hearing while describing to reporters the lightning bolt they witnessed. The sound was immediately followed by mayhem on the beach. Lifeguards swarmed the waters pulling out as many people as they could reach.

Smart phones and helicopters captured rescues and CPR being performed all across the sand. But for one young man, only 20 years of age, it was a little too late. His body had already gone cold.

That 20-year old, Nick Fagnano, was someone’s son. The surfer who remains in critical condition, at a nearby hospital as I write this, is someone else’s son; likely even someone’s husband.

Speaking to several hundred wives at a marriage conference this weekend, I shared the story of a wonderful friend of mine whose husband –at the age of 45 and at the height of his career- boarded a plane in San Francisco headed for New York to promote his newest book to never be heard from again.

A perfect picture of health ended on that flight with a pulmonary embolism. Imagine how his young wife felt when, in anticipation of his call from New York, she picked up the phone only to be told by the voice on the other end that her loving husband was gone and she was now the sole parent of two gorgeous little girls.

A hush went through the crowd. “You don’t even know if the husband you just sat with for lunch and who is now sitting in the husbands-only seminar will still be there when we leave this ballroom,” I told the ladies as tears began to stream down many of their faces.

The one thing that will increase happiness in your marriage today is fully grasping this truth: Your marriage is not forever.

We tend to take for granted that our marriage will last until the very end of our lives. But I can give you a list of young widows I’ve encountered who would trade the remaining years of their lives just to get five minutes back with their spouses. Five minutes to share all the most important things they wish they’d said while their spouses were still alive.

There are well over 100 million widows around the world and you know how many of them took for granted the spouse they loved would be with them until the very end? I can’t tell you an exact number, but based on the number of women whose eyes began to swell up with tears this past weekend as I shared my friend’s story, I’d say a pretty large percentage.

Your marriage is not promised another day. Today could be all you have remaining together. Think about this every single time you and your spouse part in the morning and be grateful every time you see one another again in the evening. Now is all you have.

Gratitude is the gateway to happiness and being grateful for the spouse you have -right here, right now, in this moment- has the power to change your marriage forever.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

**NOTE: All the posts for this 12-week series have been compiled on this Pinterest board for easy selection.

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4 Important Reasons To Smile At Your Husband Every Single Day

Monday, July 28th, 2014

I’ve been looking forward to sharing another article from Carlie Kercheval ever since she gave us this popular post on free and frugal ways celebrate our anniversaries (that’s been shared nearly 150,000 times)!

As a military wife and homeschooling mama of three, time is scarce. So that’s why I’m so grateful she’d take a moment out of her jam packed schedle to write this post for us.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Over the last 14-plus years of our marriage, I cannot think of a day that we were together that I didn’t smile at my husband.

To many, smiling is no big deal. But the truth is, it can make your husband feel loved, respected, empowered and desired. And I know for me, it is important that my husband feel all of those securities in our marriage (and more).

I remember the first time my husband made me laugh after our wedding. It was the first night of our honeymoon in Kaua’i. While he had made me laugh countless times prior to our first night as a married couple, something was just so fresh and new about it all.

I remember the smile on my face that night, full of love, respect, and desire for my new husband. And so does he. As a matter of fact he references it often. He tells me how he already knew I was the one he’d spend the rest of his life with, but that my smile that night somehow made it that much more concrete.

4 Reasons To Smile At Your Husband Every Single Day

1. Because you love him. It’s as simple as that. You love that man – and he loves you. What’s not to smile about? Even when you are going through a tough time in your marriage, don’t forget to smile at the one you vowed to spend the rest of your life with. It will help carry you through some of the roughest times with great joy and peace.

2. Because you want to empower him. In this popular Ted talk, the hidden power of smiling was revealed. Did you know that one smile can generate the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 bars of chocolate? ”Smiling can help reduce the level of stress-enhancing hormones like cortisol, adrenaline and dopamine, increase the level of mood-enhancing hormones like endorphin and reduce overall blood pressure.” Smiling is contagious so becoming a smile inducer for your husband unleashes all the health and life benefits that come from this powerful facial expression.

3. Because you respect him. I can’t think of another man on this earth that I respect more than my husband. I value him in a way that I didn’t think I could ever value another human being. I know for sure (because he’s told me) that when my husband is sharing his dreams with me or asking me to help him and I look at him and smile – he knows in his heart that I respect him as a man and as my husband. And that makes me happy!

4. Because you desire him. If you’ve spent any length of time here at The Happy Wives Club, you know that sexual intimacy is a large part of a happy marriage. And it should be. One of the wonderful blessings about being married to my best friend is the simple fact that I am also able to have physical and emotional intimacy with him! How awesome is that? And believe me, when your husband feels desired, it makes him excited to be an active part of your marriage!

YOUR TURN: How does your smile make your husband feel? I am excited to hear all about what a smile can do to brighten your husband’s day! Share with me in the comments below.

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6 Keys to Getting What You Want from Your Spouse

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014

*Welcome to week eleven of this 12-week series based on the New York Times® bestselling book, Happy Wives Club. Join me each week as I share 12 principles about marriage I’ve learned from some of the happiest couples around the world.*

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I’m always amazed at the number of husbands I meet who say in frustration, “I just don’t know what it is my wife wants from me.”

Sometimes we aren’t even certain what it is we want. And in different seasons of our lives, what we desire might change.

To help, no matter what season you are in, try using these six keys consistently to help your spouse fulfill your every desire.

6 Keys to Getting What You Want from Your Spouse

1. Speak up. Whoever said to sweep things under the rug didn’t understand the idea of partnership and the intimacy required in a happy and successful marriage.

One of the biggest problems with sweeping issues under the rug is although things may seem pretty and put together on the surface, in order to continue sweeping more things under the rug, you have to actually lift it up.

And each time you lift up that rug to sweep more under it, the dust unsettles and you have to come face-to-face with the mess all over again. Be honest. Say what is on your heart. It’s important to your spouse and your marriage.

2. Say what you mean but don’t say it mean. I’m not sure who originally coined that saying but it’s the perfect mantra for honest communication in marriage.

Timing is everything and today may not be the right time to say what is on your mind. You may not be in the right frame of mind to convey your feelings properly; out of love, from a place of vulnerability rather than aggression. But just because today may not be the best day, don’t keep from sharing your heart soon. It is the only way your spouse will know how to give you what it is your heart desires.

3. Acknowledge what they’re already doing right. One of the things I learned first in business and then carried into my marriage was this interesting truth: In order to get my staff to do better, I praised them for what they were already doing right. When I focused on what they did wrong, they quickly got discouraged and made more mistakes. But when I addressed the areas that needed improvement –at the right time- but buffered it on both sides with what they were doing right, they performed at their best.

That is just the way the psyche of humans work and that doesn’t just stay within the walls of business. In every area of life, especially your marriage. To get your spouse to do more, recognize what they’re already doing and praise them for that first.

4. Give without expecting anything in return. I know this might seem counterintuitive in an article about getting what you desire from your spouse. But it’s just the way the world works. We didn’t make it this way but it doesn’t change it’s how it works. When you give your all, expecting nothing in return, that is what comes back to you. It is when we begin giving with an expectation that we set ourselves up for disappointment.

5. Embrace the virtue of patience. Just because you give today, expecting nothing in return, doesn’t mean your spouse is all of a sudden going to begin giving you exactly what your heart has desired for many years. Nothing worth having happens overnight. But remember, this is the person you gave your whole heart to and pledged ‘til death do us part.’ So isn’t your marriage worth investing the time it takes to help your spouse understand how to please you?

Your spouse wants to give you your heart’s desire. If you ask them that question, you will find they will answer in the affirmative. But many will also say they don’t quite know what their spouse truly desires. And so it’s up to you –doing numbers 1, 2, and 3 of this post- to let them know and then help guide them there through love and patience.

6. Forgive and move on. Not one of us is perfect. Not you, not me. We all make mistakes. Your spouse is going to continue falling short in some areas, as will you. But the faster you can get to forgiving and return to focusing on what they do right, the sooner you’ll get your marriage to exactly where you desire it to be. And the sooner your heart will be free to receive all the things it truly desires.

You don’t have to be the best communicator in the world to have a marriage that rocks your world. Just make a commitment to share what it is that you truly want from your spouse so they can do everything in their power to make it happen.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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5 Great Marriage Lessons from the Least Likely Place

Monday, July 21st, 2014

What I love about writer, Kim Hall, is her ability to uncover marriage lessons in the unlikeliest of places.

One of the greatest truths I’ve learned over my 38-year life is there is a lesson in everything. And I mean everything.

I intentionally seek out the lesson in all things -good or challenging. And based on the unlikely place where Kim found these, she clearly does the same.

I’d love to know in what unlikely place (or person) you’ve discovered a life changing marriage lesson of your own.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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When you look for lessons in both good and challenging times, what you’ll discover will blow your mind.

Have you noticed happily married couples have a certain look about them?

Their quiet strength and unique beauty remind me of the majestic and long-lived redwood trees.

The two actually have more in common than you may know.

1. Bark for protection. Redwoods don’t do anything small, and their bark is no exception. It grows up to twelve inches thick and is naturally fire-retardant.

Marriage Lesson: Individuals in happy marriages cultivate qualities such as commitment, hope, and empathy, that form a similarly big and strong firewall of protection around the relationship.

2. Roots that spread out as well as down. While conventional wisdom states that roots of any sort should go deep to provide the most stability, these giants actually rely on the additional strength of many to stay upright by weaving their roots into those of their neighbors.

Marriage Lesson: Finding mentors, befriending other couples, and joining like-minded groups such as Happy Wives Club lends support to help your marriage withstand life’s storms.

3. Canopy that supports a wider community. The large branches offer hospitality, safety, and room to thrive.

Marriage Lesson: A sound marriage provides similar benefits. In addition to sharing the joyful possibilities that begin with I do, your family is apt to be healthier, happier, take better care of themselves, and do better academically and economically. From that foundation, you can be a powerful force for good and giving.

4. Plan for the future. The redwood protects itself from drought by collecting literally tons of water from the fog that washes over the forest and then holds it in reserve.

Marriage Lesson: A carefully tended marriage, like a well-watered tree, is less apt to develop weakness and illness. Building up a reservoir of regular and satisfying communication, creating an atmosphere conducive to apology and forgiveness, and practicing gratitude can sustain relationships through difficult times.

5. Capacity to inspire others. Robert Louis Stevenson wrote, “It is not so much for its beauty that the forest makes a claim upon men’s hearts, as for that subtle something, that quality of air, that emanation from old trees, that so wonderfully changes and renews a weary spirit.”

Marriage Lesson: As Fawn shares often, media and culture paint an unflattering picture of marriage full of unhappy and desperate wives. Healthy marriages are beautiful and inspiring, even with their blemishes and scars. They have the power to encourage and renew the spirits of those who hoped happily ever after might really be possible.

YOUR TURN: What marriage lesson have you learned in the least likely of places?

May you find happiness wherever you are! Kim, your personal Sherpa of Joy at Too Darn Happy

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Top 35 Cheap & Creative ‘Just Because’ Gift Ideas For Him

Thursday, July 17th, 2014

What better day to give your husband an I love you gift than today? Don’t wait for his birthday or anniversary; he’ll be expecting something then.

Surprise him with a ‘just because’ gift today and absolutely blow his mind!

Last week, I asked our community for their most creative and inexpensive ‘just because’ gift ideas and so many responded.

I then scoured the web for DIY examples (I wasn’t bit by the creativity bug so I need step-by-step instructions) and included several of those links below.

So here you go! Our top 35 cheap & creative ‘just because’ gift ideas for him:

Love Coupons: Love coupons/ vouchers/certificate was the ‘just because’ gift suggested by the most people, including Maria Jade Wong, who recommended vouchers for massages, cooking his favorite meal, etc.
Once in a Blue Moon. “Pick up a six pack of Blue Moon beer and put a cute tag on it…I love you to the moon and back. Or…a love like ours comes along once in a blue moon.” – Stephanie Warner Beal
Bacon Bouquet: Say what?! This idea, submitted by Tanya Pratt, sounds like it was ripped from the script of Duck Dynasty. But I must admit I know a lot of men who would give up any amount of flowers for another slice of bacon.
Break Upon Emergency. “On eBay, you can get key chains that have a hollow pod on the bottom that you can unscrew; they’re designed to hold emergency cash. I bought one for my husband and wrote a love note on a strip of paper, rolled it up and stored it inside.” – Danielle Lake Langley
Work Survival Kit. “I once packed a ‘survival’ kit for work: his favorite coffee, homemade cookies and a pocket joke book. Then for lunch I ordered pizza for him and his crew. And when he got home I had a picnic set up in the living room…he loved it (and so did I).” – Carmen Bisschoff
Turn Old Into New: Love this fabulous idea of turning an old book into a fantastic ‘just because’ gift (make sure to look at the last pic on the page to see how amazing the finished product looks).
List of Love. “Create a list of 100 things you love about your husband, print it out and frame it. The list can be loving, flirty, and show your admiration for him. Read it out loud to him to make it extra special.” – Mallory Ellis
Give Him a Piece of Scotland & Make Him a Lord…literally: When Andrea Cummings Geb Pälmer recommended this I had to reply to ask her if this is even possible. Apparently, it is! This is, by far, the most expensive gift idea on this list but how could I not include it?! You can buy your hubby the title of Lord for £27 by buying 1 sq ft of land in Scotland. No, really.
Make a Shadow Box. “I made a shadow box for my hubby (get the shadow box from any arts & crafts store). Blew up one of his favorite pictures at Walgreens and used it for the background. I also used seashells from our trip to Galveston.” – Kathy Cervantes
Exploding Love Box: By far, one of the most creative and fun ideas we’ve seen out there. And it’s free.
For the Meat Lover. “My husband loves meat. For a special date I used a heart-shaped cookie cutter on deli cheeses and salami. Corny as it sounds he loved my deli tray. We ate it with crackers and wine on a late night picnic in the backyard.” – Jessica Schuett
Giant Candy Love Letter: “When we were dating I made a giant love letter. I wrote the letter on a poster board and substituted different words with candy bars. For example: ‘Sometimes you make me snicker‘ (insert candy bar for snicker). He loved reading and eating it!” – Laura Britt Cherrito
Candlelight is Always Right. “I made a surprise candlelight dinner for my husband a couple of weeks ago. I had everything set up & ready right after giving the kids dinner & putting them to bed early. I even made a music playlist with songs that he & I had dedicated to each other. It was nice. He loved it!” – Carol Bova
Best Husband Certificate: “Make him a “best husband” certificate. When he asks you why, just say ‘because you are‘. Frame it and hang it in your bedroom.” – Anele Ngwekazi
The Sneaky Bird Gets the Worm. “My ‘just because’ gift is always sneaking into his car before he wakes up and leaving a bar of his favorite chocolate with a love letter on his dashboard to remind him how much I love him. It always puts a smile on his face driving to work and a great way to start his day.” – Justina Green
Message in a Balloon: Forget sending a message in a bottle. This is SO much cooler than that!
Card for No Reason. “When I come across beautiful cards I pick them up and send him one when he least expects it. Put a post it note in his shirt pocket that says I’m proud of you.” – Renee Selman
Passport to Love: What a clever gift! Use this DIY crafts project to take your husband around the world for free.
Deal Worth Waiting For. “I put aside some great family pictures and photos of the kids along with a letter from me and thoughts from the kids. Then I waited (not long) for a photo book special and voila a touching memory book for him! There are always free or cheap photo book offers and you can have text and photos.” – Ginnie Macdonald Chapman
Hot Tamale! “My hubby LOVES Hot Tamales. If yours does too, here’s an idea. Buy a bag or box of Hot Tamales or his favorite cinnamon candy and print out a cute note that says, “These are the perfect candy for you…Because you’re both so sweet and HOT!!” – Becky Hall Bittle
52 Things I Love About You: “For Valentine’s Day two years back I took index cards and wrote 52 things/ reason why I love my husband and then I glued them to a deck of cards.” – Chelsey Peters
A Special Homemade Lunch. “I make my husband’s lunch every day. Today, I put a note in a zip lock baggie that said: ‘You bring color into my life.’ I added a handful of skittles in the bag with the note.” – Michelle Anderson-Galvan
Floating Memories: “Balloon bouquet with balloons with hearts and that say I love you. My husband loves those!” – Jamie Pruitt
One of a Kind Gift. “Write him a poem. It comes from the heart & will be one of a kind!!!” – Lindsey Brown-Jaquez
Treasure Chest of Love. “Candy works well-especially with a cute note attached. For instance: A bag or container (I used a small wooden treasure chest from the hobby shop) of Hershey’s Treasures. They look like miniature gold bricks. I put a note saying: Thanks for being such a treasure!” - Stephanie Scevers
‘Why I Love You’ Jar: “I bought a cute jar with a lid, decorated it and cut out strips of colored paper and wrote on each piece all the things I love about him. It was so heartfelt and he loved it! Took more time than money.” – Susanne Estep (You can also do it with stickers on candy)
I Love This Bar. “I like to learn a favorite song of his and surprise him by singing it at karaoke for him and to him in front of a bunch of people at a local bar…who cares if you can’t sing great? He will beam with smiles!” – Angela Lopez
Year of Dates in a Basket: This nifty idea wasn’t one that was submitted but when I stumbled across it online I knew it had to be included! Create 12 dates, arrange them in advance, label the envelopes, and let your hubby open one each month.
Why Buy What You Can Make? “For our first wedding anniversary I bought a book from Kikki.K Stationary titled Love and inside it has things you can fill in like first meeting, first kiss, why I love you etc. It was a great gift and hubby loved it. I think it cost around $30 but you could make your own [for free].” – Bernadette Hay
Create Your Own Storybook: You can always count on The Dating Divas for fabulous gift ideas for your hubby! Most of my favorite ideas come from this group of creative ladies.
Joe Stash. “We made my husband a “Stash” jar. We filled it with his favorite candy or nuts. All you need is a mason jar, some letter stickers, candy/nuts, some ribbon and a mustache sticker. On the jar it said “Joe’s Stash” with the mustache on it! Here’s the link to how we did it.” -Pricilla Jo Ramirez it
Show Him a Little Eye Candy: “You can have a local photographer take a Boudoir photo shoot of you, as tame or artsy as you want, then develop the shots and put them in a little black photo book just for him. It’s inexpensive, fun, different, will make you feel so beautiful and it will make his jaw drop!!” – Keirstin Faircloth
Create a Picnic Indoors. “When I want to do something for my husband (just because) I’ll make a romantic indoor picnic. We’ll sit on a blanket in the middle of our floor and I’ll put out the food, light candles, and turn on some music nice and low. It can be VERY romantic and it costs nothing, really.” – Amanda Sheppard
Seven Days of Love: I’ve featured this unique gift idea on this site previously but it’s so fantastic I had to include it in this list!
Works Every Time. And if you don’t have time to do any of the other things on this list: “Wrap yourself in a bow…it works every time!” -Dawn Aquino-Dossantos

QUESTION: What ‘just because’ gift have you given your husband that knocked his socks off?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

5 Simple Ways to Prioritize Your Marriage (even in busy times)

Wednesday, July 16th, 2014

*Welcome to week ten of this 12-week series based on the New York Times® bestselling book, Happy Wives Club. Join me each week as I share 12 principles about marriage I’ve learned from some of the happiest couples around the world.*

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The world comes crashing in every morning.

Emails sent throughout the night come streaming in at the simple touch of a button.

Kids running around needing to get packed for school, lunches made, rides and activities arranged.

That suit you fit in a month ago is now a little too snug around the waste and hips and so the search begins to find something in the closet that will be more forgiving than the pants that only button on deep inhales.

From the top of the morning, we can quickly begin to feel as though everything around us is spinning and there is no way to slow it down. Suffocated by our own pursuit of success at home, at work, even both.

There is a way for you to hop off that hamster wheel. Today. In this very moment. Why is that so important? Because you don’t want to look at your life in the rear view mirror wondering how you missed so much.

Enjoying life means you have to be present in this moment.

Increasing the happiness in your marriage, and your overall life, doesn’t come from doing monumental things once a month. It happens when you make the choice to do the little things that matter most each and every day.

It occurs only when we make marriage a priority in the midst of a crazy, busy, constantly shifting world.

Marriage is one of the easiest things to allow to coast on cruise control before realizing it’s been headed in the wrong direction. Back up, turn it around, and get intentional about where you’re going and the destination you’d like to arrive.

Your marriage is meant to be your still point in a turning world. Allow it to be that. Make that one of your greatest priorities. This won’t give you all the answers but it is most certainly a place to start.

5 Simple Ways to Prioritize Your Marriage

1. Picture the future. Imagine yourself vibrant and full of life at 65 years old. What do you see? What would you like to be doing? Long after you’ve left your current company or they’ve downsized, what pieces of your life are most important? When your children have moved out and begun a family of their own, what will be left in your home? If your picture of the future, like mine, involves kicking back with a cool glass of lemonade and laughing with your spouse, now is the time to begin creating that future. What you are building today will be the home you live in 20, 30, 60 years from now.

2. Invest time in a like-minded friend. Some call them accountability partners. Others simply call them good company. Whatever you call them, find at least one friend who has the same desire in their life as you do so you can work toward those healthy goals together. When you begin drifting from the plan you set in place to create a happy and loving marriage – that will continue well into your retirement years- your friend will help bring you back to shore. With so much going on around us we can easily lose focus. So keep a friend close by who is positive and sees life as you do and will encourage you to live your life in line with your stated prioritizes.

3. Determine what prioritizing your marriage looks like to your spouse. Say something like this to your spouse: “I want to make you and our marriage a priority every day of my life. What does that look like to you?” Asking that question may yield some interesting results. What you think signifies making your spouse a priority could turn out to be completely different than how they see it. Questions like this can be humbling because oftentimes you discover you know less about what your spouse wants than you thought. But these humbling experiences are also incredibly rewarding. Remember, you and your spouse are constantly changing and evolving so questions like this keep you up to date on how they feel at this time of their life.

4. Make time to create a daily ritual. I know I’ve been talking about this all year but how could I not? After interviewing so many couples happily married for more than a quarter of a century, and learning they all have this in common, I’d be crazy not to mention it as often as possible. There are 1,440 minutes in each day and using 40 minutes of that for a daily ritual will be one of the greatest uses of your time all day.

5. Calendar your dates like a million-dollar meeting. “Sorry, we can’t join you for that as we already have something on our calendar,” is something we find ourselves saying often. And it is 100-percent true. There is something on our calendar: Us time. I learned this last year from a couple I interviewed in Australia. For decades, they’ve had “Date Night” on their calendar every Wednesday. When they get requests to go somewhere or do something else at that time, they immediately respond with, “We can’t. We’re booked.” If you had a million-dollar business idea and had a meeting scheduled with an investor who could make it happen, would you ever think to cancel it? That’s how you should treat this time with your spouse. Once it’s on the calendar, nothing short of an emergency of catastrophic proportions should cause you to cancel it.

YOUR TURN: What other simple things have you found help you prioritize your marriage in the midst of a busy schedule?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

6 Tips for Reigniting Passion in Your Marriage (And giveaway!)

Monday, July 14th, 2014

On more occasions than I can recall, I’ve received emails from wives who have stumbled across this site and asked:

What about me? What about the wife who isn’t happy and needs help falling in love again?

And honestly, because of the original mission of this club, there aren’t a lot of posts on this site that address “rekindling” or “reigniting” passion in marriage.

So for those who have written me asking those questions, and for others who are yet to ask, this post by journalist and author Emily Wierenga is for you.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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I was sitting in a hotel room on a king-sized bed at a conference.

I was sitting there alone, not minding being alone, wishing that I missed him.

Wishing I missed the man I’d been married to for eleven years and I was forgetting what the touch of his hand felt like.

His calloused, farm-boy hand, the one that found me across the duvet those three years I relapsed into anorexia and sleeping pills.

The one which fed me ice chips as I birthed two miracle boys, the one which always gave me the first strawberry of the season from our garden.

I crawled onto the king-sized mattress then, stretched out across the miles of bed and cried.

I was scared.

I was scared of forgetting how to be in love with my husband.

Many marriages—no matter how strong—finds itself here, at some point: at a crossroads. And it’s there, at the crossroads, that we have a choice.

If we stay on the same path, we’ll end up not recognizing one another in 10 years and arguing over who gets custody. It’s a pivotal moment, this crossroads: of deciding—do I still believe in love, and if so, am I willing to allow it to transform this relationship into something they make movies about?

In other words, do I believe love is the most powerful force in the world? And if so, can it overcome any obstacle—including indifference?

I believe it can. In fact, I know it can.

It means reaching the crossroads and choosing the narrow path, the one leading to a marriage so real and intimate it will make our kids want to get married. The choice is to keep falling in love with your husband.

So here are six things that helped me reignite the passion in my marriage:

1. Don’t be afraid to apologize. Grab your husband’s hand and feel the roughness of his palm and say, “I’m sorry for not letting you in.” Be vulnerable, and in turn, he too will become vulnerable, and your feet will turn towards the road less marked.

2. Choose your husband over work. Set aside evenings to spend with him. Put technology away, and play ping-pong in the garage. Let him make you belly-laugh again.

3. Don’t compare your husband to other men. Comparison will eat up contentment. It will rob you of joy. Our disappointments are only as great as our expectations. As bad as it sounds, lower your expectations of your husband and accept him as HIM.

4. Believe that your husband loves you. He tells you all the time, but sometimes, you may stop hearing him. He loves you. For better or worse, till death do you part. He loves you. Never forget that.

5. Be bold in the bedroom. Our hubbies desire to be desired. Light a candle, slip into something sexy, and show your man how much he means to you.

6. Prioritize your husband over the kids. We live in a culture that says kids are more important than marriage. But it’s our marriage that’s going to be there long after the kids go. Focus on loving your husband first and your kids second, because in the long run that will bless your children the most.

Marriage is the fire that family gathers around, friends.

The key is to never let it go out.

Thanks for letting me share my story with you. I am excited to give away 3 copies of my bestselling memoir, Atlas Girl today. Just come over HERE and enter the Rafflecopter to win.

I’m also giving away a FREE e-book to anyone who orders Atlas Girl. Just order HERE, and send a receipt to: atlasgirlbookreceipt@gmail.com, and you’ll receive A House That God Built: 7 Essentials to Writing Inspirational Memoir – an absolutely FREE e-book co-authored by myself and editor/memoir teacher Mick Silva.

ALL proceeds from Atlas Girl will go towards my non-profit, The Lulu Tree. The Lulu Tree is dedicated to preventing tomorrow’s orphans by equipping today’s mothers. It is a grassroots organization bringing healing and hope to women and children in the slums of Uganda through the arts, community, and the gospel.

8 Powerful Words That Change Your Marriage – For the Better!

Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

*Welcome to week nine of this 12-week series based on the New York Times® bestselling book, Happy Wives Club. Join me each week as I share 12 principles about marriage I’ve learned from some of the happiest couples around the world.*

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If there is such a thing as eight words that can change your marriage -or at least how you communicate- they are quite possibly the ones contained in this powerful yet humbling phrase:

“[Insert pet name for your spouse], I think you should consider praying about that.”

A few weeks ago, I stumbled across an old interview in which Oprah asked Iyanla Vanzant, “What is your personal prayer?” In response, Iyanla gave three prayers she said will cover any situation, “Help!” “Help me now!” and “thank you.”

Thinking about that question for a moment, I don’t know that I would have been able to answer it because I have SO many prayers – daily, all day.

“Thank you,” is certainly the one I use most often. But when it comes to my marriage, if Keith and I aren’t seeing eye to eye and he uses that indisputable eight word suggestion, my go to prayer is very simple:

“Am I wrong here? How do I quickly make it right?”

The simple suggestion of having your spouse pray about a disagreeable point rather than allowing it to escalate has the ability to preemptively end an argument before it has the opportunity to begin.

Debating an issue is fine, even good in many cases…until it goes downhill. And anyone married for longer than two weeks can probably attest to its ability to go downhill very quickly if there aren’t some safeguards in place.

If I don’t agree with something Keith says or vice versa, but it’s important enough to one of us to continue the conversation instead of agreeing to disagree, rather than belaboring our own viewpoint, we usually send each other to pray about it.

Years ago, when my little sister got married, Keith and I created a journal for she and her husband to accompany their wedding gift. In it, we shared all the best tips we’d discovered over the years that helped us cultivate an unwavering love and peace in our marriage. When sharing this particular tip, Keith wrote:

“Truth be told, I stole this little suggestion from Fawn and adopted it as my own. In the early stages of our relationship we were having a discussion where I was so confident about the accuracy of my perceptions that I was unyielding. On this particular occasion I was winning the debate or so I thought….

“Enter the conversation show-stopper and a great argument preventer…. Fawn calmly said, “you should go pray about that…” What do you do with that one? A neutral third-party that happens to be God? Suffice it to say, Fawn won that one!

“It’s a very powerful tool that shouldn’t be misused. After all, what goes around comes around. Having said that, if you know that your spouse is wrong (or you think your spouse is wrong), directing them to prayer can only help matters. It certainly makes it difficult to get upset, as it is so factual and indisputable.

“Typically, when I invoke the prayer card, I talk to the Lord as well. Your goal should always be how you can attain a mutual understanding. If you can’t do this by yourselves, there is no better way to reconcile the issue than with God.”

Will these eight words all of a sudden make you the world’s best communicator? Probably not. But it will invite an unbiased, nonpartisan person into the conversation who loves you both and will only tell you the truth – even when you are the one that’s wrong.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

6 Unexpected Secrets to a Healthy Marriage

Monday, July 7th, 2014

I don’t know what’s going on around here but this is the third post from a man in the past month.

We’ve not had three posts written by men since this site’s inception but recently there’s been an explosion and I’m grateful for it! It’s beautiful reading the wisdom of our other halves, don’t you think?

This post by author and researcher, Tyler Ward, put his assumptions about marriage to the test and came out a clear winner.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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It didn’t take me long after getting married to realize that I had no idea how to be married.

The deeper into this unique relationship I got, the more grossly obvious it became that I had brought several misguided ideas and bloated expectations into my marriage. So, I started over.

Over a period of 4 years, I put my—and my cultures—most basic assumptions about modern marriage to the test. I interviewed over a dozen experts, consumed 20+ books, and ran experiments in my own marriage with several of the unorthodox pieces of advice I came across.

In the end, six things stood out to me. They aren’t necessarily all new or revolutionary ideas, but they certainly come packed with marriage-altering implications.

Here are six of my favorite unexpected secrets to a healthy marriage.

1. Happily ever after is a perk—not the point.

Though being happy is a very real by-product of a healthy relationship, the modern value we put on personal fulfillment is so inflated, it’s causing us to miss one of the more beautiful purposes of marriage. The ancient Hebrew culture, on the other hand, didn’t seem to miss this purpose. The language even highlights and unpacks this ideal for us.

In ancient Hebrew, the word used for marriage actually means “Fire.” And not-so-coincidentally, fire is also the element used throughout ancient Hebrew culture to represent personal reformation.

In this light, marriage, and its necessary—but often unhappy—friction, is seen less as a doorway to happily ever after and more as a tool in divine hands to help us become increasingly beautiful — increasingly our best and brightest selves.

2. Good consumers make bad lovers.

Again, the ancient Hebrew word for love — ahava — has little to do with what one feels or receives. To the contrary — ahava — is actually a verb that means “I give.”

Love is not the fleeting butterflies we get when looking into the eyes of our significant other. It’s not something we fall into when dating. It’s far simpler — and far wilder — than all of that. Love is the big or small, mundane—but generous — choices to give to our spouse. And as we begin to orient ourselves to this brand of love that requires us to show up continually, we’re sure to discover the beautiful paradox that it is.

3. Marriage isn’t just a choice.

“I do.”

With those words, we choose to embark on a journey to learn how to give, to value, and to care for another human as much as we do ourselves. But marriage isn’t just a choice we make on our wedding day. It’s a choice we make everyday.

A good friend says it this way, “Marriage isn’t something we accomplished the day we said I do. It is an ongoing action of marrying our individual lives—with all of our thoughts, responses, fears, and strengths—together.”

**4. Marriage is designed for priority numero uno.**

One of the most useful tips I’ve been given on marriage comes from a rabbi when he says, “All of your problems (financial, relational, marital…etc) are because your marriage isn’t your highest priority (this is not considering the relationship to the Divine). The gains that a spouse will feel on both a spiritual and MATERIAL level defy description, once they make their marriage first place.”

For 31 days, I intentionally put my wife first over everything else, and then I tracked how it worked. I created a metric for these purposes, to mark our relationship as priority, and then to track my effectiveness in all other areas of my life on the same scale.

To my surprise, a month later, I had a chart of data and a handful of ironic experiences to prove that the more you give to marriage, the more it gives back.

5. Your spouse isn’t the problem. You are.

It took me an inappropriate amount of time (and an absurd number of yelling matches) to see my wife’s “issues” were actually just a reflection of much deeper brokenness in me.

This is the phenomenon Solomon of the Bible alludes to when he says, “As in water, face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects man.” Or the truth of what rabbi Shalom Arush is pointing at when he says,

“You didn’t get married to correct your spouse. You got married to be corrected, by using your spouse as a mirror.”

6. Love is a journey—not a free fall.

Many of us think we meet someone, date, fall in love and then get married. We then expect to reap the rewards of love immediately—and inevitably learn that true love isn’t, in fact, something we fall into. This state of “Love” (and all of its benefits) is developed over years of learning to relate to one another — it’s a journey.

These benefits are very real perks of love, but we certainly don’t simply fall into them. Why? Because trust requires trust-building circumstances over time, true companionship comes from years of conversation, and romance—well, the kind of romance that doesn’t fade only comes from being intentional over the long haul.

These six things aren’t formulas—mostly because marriage doesn’t play by the same set of rules most things in our lives do. However, the implications of internalizing these six ideas and finding a unique expression of them in our marriage has been significant for my wife and me—as I hope they are for you too.

Tyler Ward recently released “Marriage Rebranded: Modern Misconceptions & the Unnatural Art of Loving Another Person,” where he explores more modern myths about marriage, tells awkward stories, and offers unorthodox best practices that are sure to help anyone write a better marital narrative for themselves. Order it now. Or watch the book trailer here.

5 Special Gifts for National Husband’s Day

Wednesday, January 21st, 2015

On January 22, 2014, we sponsored an unofficial new holiday: National Husband’s Day. A special day set aside for the nearly 1 million women in the Happy Wives Club community to celebrate our husbands.

Initially, my hope was we’d be able to get a government official to proclaim the day on our behalf. Our team began working on that and quickly realized the many complications of getting a date named as a holiday officially. But who needs official?

National Peanut Butter Day is one of my absolute favorite holidays. No government official has yet to recognize that officially but that doesn’t stop me from indulging in a few more spoonfuls of that tasty stuff just at the mention of its national holiday.

So let’s celebrate our special day together!

To make it easy, we’ve come up with 5 special (and free) gifts you can give your husband today to commemorate the occasion.

1. Print this certificate. If you didn’t get a chance to print this off last year, you may still want to print it now to let your husband know you’re a proud member of this club and because of his love, you’ve sponsored this day honoring him. This is the original sponsorship certificate so it includes the original 2014 date. Here is one dated for 2015.

2. Customize this proclamation. If you printed the above certificate last year as one of the original sponsors of National Husband’s Day (or even if you didn’t), we’ve created a customizable proclamation for you to give your husband this year. Customize it. Print it out (legal size paper). Frame it. Then deliver to him a gift sure to make him proud. (If your computer doesn’t allow you to customize the PDF, print this one to handwrite his name and your name instead).

3. Print a customized Book of Love. This fantastic DIY coupon book from The Dating Divas is something sure to knock your husband’s socks off. Surprise him with this creative book that gives him all the things he wants most…one coupon at a time.

4. Write the perfect love letter. Have you ever written your husband a love letter? Not just a few words at the bottom of a card but actually write the card yourself? If not, today’s a pretty fantastic day to sharpen your writing skills. To make it easy, here are 7 ways to write the perfect love letter.

5. Spoil your spouse date night. There’s no better night than tonight to spoil your spouse. This date night is all about doing what your husband loves to do. No marital compromise here –this is his night!

Any excuse to celebrate those fabulous hubbies of ours is a good enough excuse for me.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

We’re SO close to our goal! JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

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6 Tips for Reigniting Passion in Your Marriage (And giveaway!)

So here are six things that helped me reignite the passion in my marriage:

8 Powerful Words That Change Your Marriage – For the Better!

6 Unexpected Secrets to a Healthy Marriage

1. Happily ever after is a perk—not the point.

2. Good consumers make bad lovers.

3. Marriage isn’t just a choice.

**4. Marriage is designed for priority numero uno.**

5. Your spouse isn’t the problem. You are.

6. Love is a journey—not a free fall.

5 Special Gifts for National Husband’s Day

5 Special Gifts for National Husband’s Day

6 Easy Ways to Exceed Your Spouse’s Expectations

Two Great Questions You Should Ask Your Husband…Today

Pucker Up! {How 15 Seconds a Day Can Change Your Marriage}

6 Ways to Love Your Husband…Even Better

The Husband Gratitude List