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12 Gifts of Marriage: Day 4 {bonus: 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway}

       DAY 4: PLACE CALLED HOME

“From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter, and my arms will be your home.”

No one knows who originally penned those words, but over the years, they have become a part of wedding ceremonies all over the world.

Those twenty-two words, so simple and true, are a reminder of this: In marriage, a home isn’t about the white picket fence.  It’s having two arms to fall into at the end of each day.

One of the most comforting gifts of marriage is knowing you will always have a place called home.

It is this realization that allows a couple months behind in their mortgage to look into each other’s eyes and decide, “We only need each other.  The stress and strain of debt isn’t worth it.  Our home isn’t comprised of four walls.”

To the world, fascinated with perceived perfection and wealth, an expensive house is the status symbol for which to strive.  

Those in a loving marriage are able to quickly reject that pressure knowing a house does not make a home but rather the loving arms of a wonderful spouse.  

No matter where you go or where you stay, home is always with you.  

For some, that is an expansive place on the country hillside.  For others, a quaint apartment in the city.  Regardless of the location, size or furnishings, the wise couple knows a house will never define this life and certainly not the most important thing in life: Love.

The ongoing pressure to do more, buy more, acquire additional debt, finally has a place where it falls on deaf ears.  Because in marriage, it’s not about decorating a home with costly furniture.  But rather filling a living dwelling, no matter how great or how small, with love.

For the next 9 days, we will continue to unwrap one additional gift of marriage daily.  If you missed the first three gifts of marriage, definitely go back and read them.  They will bless your marriage; reminding you of the beauty of all you have and diminishing the importance of anything you might lack.

Please join me tomorrow for day 5 and before you leave today, make sure to scroll down to participate in our 12 Days of Christmas spectacular giveaway.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

___________

12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR GIVEAWAY

I’ve never done a series quite like this before.  Every day, for 12 days, I will post an encouragement for your marriage at the top.  And then, a pretty spectacular giveaway at the bottom in honor of the release of my upcoming book, Happy Wives Club. (Still can’t believe we are less than 2 weeks away from its release!)

TODAY’S GIFT: Sony Alpha NEX 5T Camera!

No purchase is necessary, entering to win is simple, and you control your number of entries.  But if you do choose to pre-order the book (Amazon and Barnes & Noble have it 25% off today), make sure to scroll down because we’re giving you tons of FREE STUFF!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Here are the details for the awesome FREE GIFTS you’ll get for pre-ordering Happy Wives Club today. (**If you’ve already pre-ordered, you get these too!)

If You Pre-Order 1-4 Books:

• Love Notes: a brand new eBook by Fawn Weaver
• An mp3 download of Happy Wives Club audio book read by Fawn Weaver
• 50 photos with inspirational quotes from Happy Wives Club

If You Pre-Order 5+ Books (perfect for starting a book club with friends):

• Get all the great gifts from the list above
• The Official ”Happy Wife” T-shirt
• The Official HWC “Happy” Mug
• Invitation to join Fawn’s private book club Facebook group where she’ll personally guide you through the lessons contained in this book and answer your questions

HOW DOES IT WORK?

All you have to do is email a copy of your receipt (or order confirmation email) to hwcbook@gmail.com.  If you’ve already pre-ordered your book, just email your receipt and you still get these gifts!  For additional details: http://happywivesclubbook.com/blog/preorder.

WANT TO GIVE THIS BOOK AS A GIFT BEFORE ITS RELEASE ON 1/7/14?

Not to worry, we created these beautiful printables you can give to anyone letting them know you’ve pre-ordered the book for them as a Christmas gift, anniversary, wedding or engagement present.

##

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Are you a blogger?  Click Here to join us for the It’s All About Love blog tour in honor of the Happy Wives Club book launch.

12 Gifts of Marriage: Day 3 {bonus: 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway}

             DAY 3: TRUST

A musician stands on the edge of a stage with his back facing the crowd, closes his eyes, spreads his arms like an eagle and falls backwards with reckless abandon.

The crowd, in anticipation and with great excitement, catches him and continues to keep him lifted.  

This is the ultimate act of trust for artists and musicians; to fall into the arms of their fans trusting they will keep them lifted.

A husband stands at the edge of life, arms stretched wide, closes his eyes, and falls backwards into the arms of his wife.  Trusting, no matter her strength, she’ll never let him fall.  

This is one of the most beautiful gifts of marriage: Trust.

Before marriage, so many walk around with heads held high proclaiming a need for no one.  God maybe, but no human being.  But in our hearts, we know neither is true.  We need both.

It is said that, “Marriage provides the solace of worked-on friendship and the joy of being profoundly known.”  It allows a bond to develop, a trust like none other, between two people whose souls were created in heaven and later bound on earth.

To be fully known, that is the necessity of every person; man, woman and child.  And a loving marriage provides that like no other earthly relationship.

We stand on the edge of life, eyes closed and arms raised, and fall backwards.  And magically, almost mysteriously, no matter the strength of our spouse, we are always caught.

On Christmas, we unwrapped the first gift of marriage: Friendship.  Then yesterday, we explored the gift of being a United Front.  And for the next 10 days, we will continue to unwrap one additional gift of marriage daily.  In a world filled with insatiable desires, it is nice to spend time just appreciating the gifts we already have.  Don’t you think?

Please join me tomorrow for day 4 and before you leave today, make sure to scroll down to participate in our 12 Days of Christmas spectacular giveaway.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

___________

12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR GIVEAWAY

I’ve never done a series quite like this before.  Every day, for 12 days, I will post an encouragement for your marriage at the top.  And then, a pretty spectacular giveaway at the bottom in honor of the release of my upcoming book, Happy Wives Club. (Still can’t believe we are less than 2 weeks away from its release!)

TODAY’S GIFT: His & Her Kindle Fire HDX!

No purchase is necessary, entering to win is simple, and you control your number of entries.  But if you do choose to pre-order the book (Amazon and Barnes & Noble have it 25% off today), make sure to scroll down because we’re giving you tons of FREE STUFF!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Here are the details for the awesome FREE GIFTS you’ll get for pre-ordering Happy Wives Club today. (**If you’ve already pre-ordered, you get these too!)

If You Pre-Order 1-4 Books:

• Love Notes: a brand new eBook by Fawn Weaver
• An mp3 download of Happy Wives Club audio book read by Fawn Weaver
• 50 photos with inspirational quotes from Happy Wives Club

If You Pre-Order 5+ Books (perfect for starting a book club with friends):

• Get all the great gifts from the list above
• The Official ”Happy Wife” T-shirt
• The Official HWC “Happy” Mug
• Invitation to join Fawn’s private book club Facebook group where she’ll personally guide you through the lessons contained in this book and answer your questions

HOW DOES IT WORK?

All you have to do is email a copy of your receipt (or order confirmation email) to hwcbook@gmail.com.  If you’ve already pre-ordered your book, just email your receipt and you still get these gifts!  For additional details: http://happywivesclubbook.com/blog/preorder.

WANT TO GIVE THIS BOOK AS A GIFT BEFORE ITS RELEASE ON 1/7/14?

Not to worry, we created these beautiful printables you can give to anyone letting them know you’ve pre-ordered the book for them as a Christmas gift, anniversary, wedding or engagement present.

##

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Are you a blogger?  Click Here to join us for the It’s All About Love blog tour in honor of the Happy Wives Club book launch.

12 Gifts of Marriage: Day 2 {bonus: 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway}

             DAY 2: UNITED FRONT

One of the most underutilized gifts of marriage is the strength of two standing together as one.

Zig Ziglar once said, “Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they’re on the same side.”

The blessing of togetherness, the beauty of teamwork, allows you to go twice as far, climb twice as high, at twice the speed.

Like a relay race; you may only run half the distance but you still get credit for finishing the entire race.

When you and your spouse determine from the onset that you will remain an united front no matter what, there is not a foe in the world who can defeat you.

A chief encourager stands readily on the sidelines cheering you on.  A coach that huddles with you in the middle of the game helping draw out the next play.  A teammate who will never let you fail.

Do you have an audacious goal in your life?  One you’re almost embarrassed to say out loud because, “Really, who dreams this big?”  That goal, your dream, can be realized in half the time when you join with your partner in life.

Even in those moments, those years when that dream seems to elude you, appreciating the partner by your side allows you to enjoy the journey.  And during those difficult storms in life, it allows you the ability to dance in the rain.

Yesterday, we unwrapped the first gift of marriage: Friendship.  And for the next 11 days, we will unwrap one additional gift of marriage daily.  Whether your marriage is at its highest high or its lowest low, my hope is you will be encouraged and reminded of the power -and blessing- of the greatest union in life.

Join me tomorrow for day 3 and before you leave today, make sure to scroll down to participate in our 12 Days of Christmas spectacular giveaway.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

___________

12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR GIVEAWAY

I’ve never done a series quite like this before.  Every day, for 12 days, I will post an encouragement for your marriage at the top.  And then, a pretty spectacular giveaway at the bottom in honor of the release of my upcoming book, Happy Wives Club. (Still can’t believe we are less than 2 weeks away from its release!)

TODAY’S GIFT: A $500 AMAZON GIFT CARD!

No purchase is necessary, entering to win is simple, and you control your number of entries.  But if you do choose to pre-order the book (Amazon and Barnes & Noble have it 25% off today), make sure to scroll down because we’re giving you tons of FREE STUFF!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Here are the details for the awesome FREE GIFTS you’ll get for pre-ordering Happy Wives Club today. (**If you’ve already pre-ordered, you get these too!)

If You Pre-Order 1-4 Books:

• Love Notes: a brand new eBook by Fawn Weaver
• An mp3 download of Happy Wives Club audio book read by Fawn Weaver
• 50 photos with inspirational quotes from Happy Wives Club

If You Pre-Order 5+ Books (perfect for starting a book club with friends):

• Get all the great gifts from the list above
• The Official ”Happy Wife” T-shirt
• The Official HWC “Happy” Mug
• Invitation to join Fawn’s private book club Facebook group where she’ll personally guide you through the lessons contained in this book and answer your questions

HOW DOES IT WORK?

All you have to do is email a copy of your receipt (or order confirmation email) to hwcbook@gmail.com.  If you’ve already pre-ordered your book, just email your receipt and you still get these gifts!  For additional details: http://happywivesclubbook.com/blog/preorder.

WANT TO GIVE THIS BOOK AS A GIFT BEFORE ITS RELEASE ON 1/7/14?

Not to worry, we created these beautiful printables you can give to anyone letting them know you’ve pre-ordered the book for them as a Christmas gift, anniversary, wedding or engagement present.

##

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Are you a blogger?  Click Here to join us for the It’s All About Love blog tour in honor of the Happy Wives Club book launch.

12 Gifts of Marriage: Day 1 {bonus: 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway}

                DAY 1: FRIENDSHIP

Marriage is a gift.  Like a present under the decorated fir tree on Christmas Eve.  

Children go to sleep early in anticipation of waking up at sunrise.  Excitedly awaiting the opportunity to tear open their largest gift meticulously wrapped in shades of red, green, silver and gold.

Opening this present first thing in the morning provides a glow that remains with them throughout the day.

So it is with marriage.  It is a gift of immeasurable worth we have the honor of opening each morning and rewrapping every night.  

With excitement, we await the sunrise so we can open our most anticipated present once again.

What is it about this gift that is so precious?  What makes it worth waking up to each morning?

Marriage brings with it an endless number of gifts.  Chief among them is friendship.  

A bond that is formed between two souls who knew not of one another until both hearts were ready.  But once each soul was revealed to the other, it was clear nothing would remain the same.

Friendship, a genuine connection with another is something every soul longs.  And it is one of the greatest gifts of marriage.  One worth unwrapping with excitement today and every day. 

On this beautiful Christmas morning, I invite you to marvel with me at this amazing gift we’ve been given called marriage.  It is an honor, a privilege, something to be grateful for every moment of of our lives.

For the next 12 days, we will unwrap one gift of marriage daily.  My greatest hope is in reading, you will be encouraged and reminded of the amazing wonder of being joined with another for life.

Will you join me here tomorrow as we close out the year honoring 12 gifts of marriage and enter the New Year doing the same?  And before you leave today, make sure to scroll down to participate in our 12 Days of Christmas spectacular giveaway.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

___________

12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR GIVEAWAY

I’ve never done a series quite like this before.  Every day, for 12 days, I will post an encouragement for your marriage at the top.  And then, a pretty spectacular giveaway at the bottom in honor of the release of my upcoming book, Happy Wives Club. (Still can’t believe we are less than 2 weeks away from its release!)

TODAY’S GIFT: A $500 VISA GIFT CARD!

No purchase is necessary, entering to win is simple, and you control your number of entries.  But if you do choose to pre-order the book (Amazon and Barnes & Noble have it 25% off today), make sure to scroll down because we’re giving you tons of FREE STUFF!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Here are the details for the awesome FREE GIFTS you’ll get for pre-ordering Happy Wives Club today. (**If you’ve already pre-ordered, you get these too!)

If You Pre-Order 1-4 Books:

• Love Notes: a brand new eBook by Fawn Weaver
• An mp3 download of Happy Wives Club audio book read by Fawn Weaver
• 50 photos with inspirational quotes from Happy Wives Club

If You Pre-Order 5+ Books (perfect for starting a book club with friends):

• Get all the great gifts from the list above
• The Official ”Happy Wife” T-shirt
• The Official HWC “Happy” Mug
• Invitation to join Fawn’s private book club Facebook group where she’ll personally guide you through the lessons contained in this book and answer your questions

HOW DOES IT WORK?

All you have to do is email a copy of your receipt (or order confirmation email) to hwcbook@gmail.com.  If you’ve already pre-ordered your book, just email your receipt and you still get these gifts!  For additional details: http://happywivesclubbook.com/blog/preorder.

WANT TO GIVE THIS BOOK AS A GIFT BEFORE ITS RELEASE ON 1/7/14?

Not to worry, we created these beautiful printables you can give to anyone letting them know you’ve pre-ordered the book for them as a Christmas gift, anniversary, wedding or engagement present.

##

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Are you a blogger?  Click Here to join us for the It’s All About Love blog tour in honor of the Happy Wives Club book launch.

3 Memorable Gifts to Give Your Husband This Christmas

I married a Christmas Eve baby so every year it’s a juggle to make sure my husband feels like the most important man in the world while honoring the Man for whom the holiday was originally created.

Every year, on the eve of my husband’s birthday, I get a little nervous.  Is my gift nice enough?  Will it feel special enough?  Will it convey how much his love means to me.

And almost as quickly as this flood of questions come to mind, the answers come to sooth my nerves and reassure my heart.

It doesn’t matter the present because the greatest gifts I can give cannot be purchased.

What he desires most on this day is my love, adoration and respect.  Not any different from any other day, but I become acutely aware of this every Christmas Eve.

So I pose this question to you: What can you give your husband this Christmas that cannot be purchased in a store or cooked on a stove but will mean the world to him? 

Whatever that is, whatever comes to mind first, do exactly that.  And if you drew a blank, not to worry, I trust you’ll find inspiration in today’s post by Lori Ferguson.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

____________

I imagine you’re feeling a bit busy right now. A bit stretched. Somewhat frazzled, perhaps? How’s your “to-do” list? Got all your gifts purchased?

What are you giving your husband?

Socks? Underwear? A log splitter? 

Many times the actual physical gifts don’t matter.

They’re enjoyed. Or not.

The gifts are consumed. Or not.

Some gifts are returned.

A few are re-gifted.

Other gifts are put on the closet shelf and never see the light of day again.

What about gifts which require no money yet are memorable?

Around our home we’ve been clearing out the extra stuff. I can tell you that after 30 years together as husband and wife there’s a lot of stuff which isn’t being used! The items we possess haven’t made our life better or richer, it’s been the moments we’ve spent together that have shaped our life. Those moments pass by quickly… but they’re the real gifts. Moments into memories.

Are your moments with your husband creating positive memories?

Good memories have no monetary value, yet they’re the precious coin that you will leave as a legacy of love to all those who are a part of your life. They’re the gifts that last and can be built upon as you create a meaningful life. 

Below are 3 suggestions for gifts which cost nothing (except some self-control).

This holiday season can be filled with so many expectations, an endless list of meeting needs, and very little time to catch our breath. The busyness may lead to overlooking these gifts…

However, in view of years to come, these gifts will make an impact because they have everything to do with creating a peace filled atmosphere.

3 gifts which cost nothing and are fully under your control:

Smile without restraint.

It’s been said it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile – so conserve your energy and smile.  Smiling is an action. You can deliberately choose to smile. No hesitation, no qualification, no requirement, just try it with a smile and see the difference it makes when interacting with the guy you love.

Question without criticizing.

You’re not going to be able to agree on everything during this festive season. Two people will have a difference of opinion. Discussion is good, and asking good questions keeps the dialogue positive. Hone your questions. Keep the questions respectful because criticism hurts. Have you heard of the idea “seek first to understand”?  That’s what it’s all about. Begin by asking, “Help me understand…”

Respond without expectation.

Give your husband the gift of kindness – regardless. C.S. Lewis said it this way, “Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be attained.” Be kind to your husband. Kindness in action is one gift which sets the stage for positive interactions, and makes cherished memories.

Can you think of other gifts – priceless gifts – you could give your husband this Christmas?

##

P.S. Beginning tomorrow, Christmas Day, I’m launching an extraordinary series to encourage your marriage every remaining day of 2013 and to into the first days of 2014.  Please join me here first thing tomorrow morning and every morning for the next two weeks.  I promise you’ll be happy you did!

10 Reasons You Should Read & Share This Marriage Book

In 2 short weeks, the Happy Wives Club book will hit stores. Two years in the making and the day is finally here.  Wow.

Unfortunately, I’m a horrible salesperson.  Even when I was the Director of Sales & Marketing for a Hilton-family hotel.  

We were one of the busiest hotels in the area, and when other salespeople would ask my advice I’d tell them, “Oh, I hate sales!  I’m not good at it at all.”

What I was good at was building relationships.  And that’s what allowed me to be a successful salesperson.  

To this day, what I love most about life are the relationships I’ve cultivated.  My father always told me that people were a much greater currency than money so the wiser investment.

I agree.

But what I’ve quickly learned with writing a book is if I want the world to read it, I’d better learn to embrace my inner salesperson (I assure you, she’s kicking and screaming and in a fetal position at this moment) or no one will know about it.

The Happy Wives Club book was birthed directly out of this movement.  When I began this site, a book deal was the furthest thing from my mind.  Even how it came about was a bit serendipitous.  

But now that I’ve poured my heart and soul into this book, I present it to you.  In hopes that you would join my journey around the world to meet new friends and discover what has made their marriages so great over the years.

And because sales isn’t my gift (hear my inner sales person running in the other direction right now), I thought I would just share with you my heart.  Is that okay?

10 Reasons Your Should Pre-Order, Read & Share Happy Wives Club

1. There has never been another marriage book like it – ever!  I’m so confident of this, I asked the publisher to make the first 4 chapters of the book downloadable for free and they did. The best description I’ve heard of it so far is it is like Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.  I have read the book four times.  Even though I’m the author, it’s really the couples in the book that tell the story.  I learned from their lessons, dined in their presence, fell in love with their countries and along the way, made my marriage better.

2. The world needs a reason to believe in love again.  Can you imagine how beautiful this world would be if we loved each other a little more?  The young kid willing to take the life of another because he sees no hope.  Can you imagine how love could give him hope?  

3. Encouraging happy and healthy marriages is a benefit to us all.  One of the quotes that has remained with me over the years is something Wade Horn said in 2004: “The United States Administration for Children and Families (ACF) spends $46 billion per year operating 65 different social programs. If one goes down the list of these programs… the need for each is either created or exacerbated by the breakup of families and marriages.”  It was a reminder that we cannot solve the issue of poverty if we don’t figure out how to keep families together.

4. I poured my heart and soul into the writing of this book.  HWC contributor, Cheri Gregory, who recently read an advance copy of the book (in 2 days!) posted this note on Facebook for me last night, “LOVED, LOVED, LOVED it on my first read! Now using highlighters and Post-Its on my 2nd.  I’ve been greatly moved by your personal reflections on your own marriage. Each time I put the book down I felt like I’d been in a sacred space.”

5. The book has the ability to touch more hearts than even the Happy Wives Club movement.  When the endorsements from this book began rolling in from people I’ve never met and had no reason whatsoever to endorse my book (people like 3x Olympic gold medalist, Misty May-Treanor, New York Times bestselling authors, Priscilla Shirer and Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott, and so many more), I knew we’d created something very special.  

6. You are committed to positively changing the tone of marriage around the world.  If you are a supporter of the Happy Wives Club you are already helping to change the negative perception surrounding the union that is marriage.  So don’t only pre-order the book for yourself but for your closest friends.

7. The pre-order special the publisher has created makes the purchase of this book a no-brainer.  Seriously.  If you pre-order the Happy Wives Club book today, you can get it on Amazon and Barnes & Noble for 25% off.  In addition, you’ll get all the things listed in the image above.  And if you’ve already pre-ordered the book, you can get these things too!

8.  Sharing this with your friends will grow the pre-orders.  The more books that are pre-ordered, the higher the likelihood this book will be found at the front of the bookstores across the country and eventually around the world.  People who never knew a lifelong and happy marriage was possible will be reassured in its existence and the never-ending power of love.

9. You will be a huge support to the Happy Wives Club movement.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed but in the close to 4 years HWC has been around, there has never been an advertisement on this site (or our Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest communities).  I’ve never done a sponsored post.  Although there is a cost associated with running such a large site, I never wanted our community to feel as though they were being sold to or spammed.  But for those of you who have always wanted to support HWC, this is a great way to do it.

10. My utter gratitude.  I remain grateful to you each and every day.  Whether you pre-order the book or not, regardless of if you share this post or not, I will continue to be thankful for you. Because you continue to encourage marriages around the globe and by doing so, you are changing it for future generations.  It has been an honor to serve you and this community and my hope is I’ll be able to continue for as long as you’ll allow.

Bonus reason: You can join my book club that will begin Monday, February 3, 2014.  We will read the book together and you’ll be able to ask me anything -no topic is off limits- through a private Facebook group I will invite you to join.

My inner sales person is still somewhere in a corner crouched down and utterly embarrassed that I just gave you 10 reasons (and a bonus one) I think you should not only pre-order and read Happy Wives Club, but to also share this post.

So here are the details for the pre-order gifts you’ll need. Go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble to pre-order the book for 25% off today.

If You Pre-Order 1-4 Books:

• Love Notes: a brand new eBook by Fawn Weaver
• An mp3 download of Happy Wives Club audio book read by Fawn Weaver
• 50 photos with inspirational quotes from Happy Wives Club

If You Pre-Order 5+ Books (perfect for starting a book club with friends):

• Get all the great gifts from the list above
• The Official ”Happy Wife” T-shirt
• The Official HWC “Happy” Mug

HOW DOES IT WORK?

All you have to do is email a copy of your receipt (or order confirmation email) to hwcbook@gmail.com.  If you’ve already pre-ordered your book, just email your receipt and you still get these gifts!  For additional details: http://happywivesclubbook.com/blog/preorder.

WANT TO GIVE THIS BOOK AS A GIFT BEFORE ITS RELEASE ON 1/7/14?

Not to worry, we created these beautiful printables you can give to anyone letting them know you’ve pre-ordered the book for them as a Christmas gift, anniversary, wedding or engagement present.

Thank you for your kindness.  Thank you for your continued encouragement.  Thank you for being a part of this movement.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Are you a blogger?  Click Here to join us for the It’s All About Love blog tour in honor of the Happy Wives Club book launch.

8 Essential Keys to Being a Happy Wife

Every now and again, I receive a guest post that makes me stand up and cheer.  Maybe not literally, but while I’m reading it I begin saying to myself, “Yes, yes, yes!”  

This post by one of our newest HWC contributors, Christine St. Vil, is just that.  It’s short…actually, quite a bit shorter than the usual, but oh so mighty!

She hits the nail on the head and punctuates it with advice from her parents who have been happily married for more 47 years.  

Just three years from their golden anniversary…I’m definitely heeding their advice!

There are so many important ingredients in the recipe for a happy marriage, and the ingredients and spices you use in your recipe might be completely different than what I use in mine.

But what I love about posts like this is I’m reminded to stay focused on my own recipe and keep on perfecting it.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

________________

 

I can’t help but feel so excited to be a part of such an awesome community as HWC! It’s a place where bragging about my husband will never get old. Yes folks, happy wives really do exist (and I’m one of them)!

For many couples, we really do enjoy being married, and yes, we really are happy.

Here are 8 Essential Keys to Being a Happy Wife

1.  A happy wife knows how to FLY (First Love Yourself). I know this is not the first time you’re hearing it, but it’s really important: you cannot be happy or love someone else in any relationship, if you are unhappy and unloving to yourself. It all starts from within.

2.  A happy wife expresses love to her spouse. She shows her spouse love by having an attitude of gratitude. She tells him how much she appreciates even the smallest of contributions and support.

3.  A happy wife respects her spouse. Regardless of differences of opinions, she never engages in name calling or disrespectful behavior towards her spouse.

4.  A happy wife surrounds herself with other happy wives. And she’s not ashamed of distancing herself from unhappy or bitter wives. She knows she can lean on other happy wives for prayer and support.

5.  A happy wife treats her marriage like a ministry. Regardless of your religious affiliation, marriage is a ministry. It’s designed for you to serve your spouse. When you focus on making your husband happy, he will naturally do the same for you.

6.  A happy wife knows which battles are worth picking. Is it really worth the nagging that turns into fussing if you know he’s never going to remember to put the toilet seat down? Hanging on to the smaller idiosyncrasies can prohibit you from seeing that he did the dishes without asking, or took out the trash without the daily reminder.

7.  A happy wife is okay admitting when she’s wrong. This was a tough one for me early on because I was one who really hated to be wrong and still do at times. But the difference now is that I can own up to my faults and I can admit when I’m wrong. Humility goes a long way. Learn to laugh at your own mistakes.

8.  A happy wife knows when it’s time to let go. I interviewed my parents recently as they celebrated 47 years of marriage and this was one of their tips for reaching this milestone: They have the understanding that nobody is perfect, and they don’t expect each other to be. But nothing is more important than the sustainability of their union.

Are you a happy wife? What key would you add to this list?

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The Power of Positive Thought in Marriage

Last weekend, Keith and I attended a wonderful tree trimming event for a friend.  Never mind that I forgot to bring an ornament for the tree (but I digress…)   

While chatting with friends in the kitchen, the husband of a women who’d received an advance copy of my book said something that really made me pause to think.

“What’s so brilliant about your book is you’re focused exclusively on the power of positive thought.  Every interview, if you listen closely to what they’re all saying, it always boiled down to their thoughts,” Barry began.

First, I was absolutely floored that this husband was not only reading the book with his wife but appeared to be enjoying it.  ”Go on,” I prodded him with intrigue.

“Think about the Alchemist,” he began.  I nodded my head as to pretend I was following him.  I knew it was either a book or a movie or both but knew little about it.

“Paulo Coelho, the author of The Alchemist, was known for this quote, ‘You are what you believe yourself to be,” he continued.  

“For so many couples, their focus is on what they don’t have in their marriage instead of what they do have.  The thoughts constantly floating through their minds are about what they lack rather than what they have gained.”  

At this point, he was positively giddy, as if looking forward to bringing home his point.

“‘You are what you believe yourself to be,’ so those who believe themselves to have a mediocre marriage or a less-than-stellar spouse create that reality for themselves.  And those who believe they have a great marriage and the spouse they chose is a wonderful person, that is what they become!”

Ah yes, the power of positive thought in marriage.  You become what you think about most.  Your focus often becomes your reality.

The unhappy husband may look at the pile of dishes in the sink and lament that his wife doesn’t keep the house spic and span.  The happy husband looks at that same pile of dishes and sees it as a reminder that his wife also goes to work each day or that she’s at home raising their beautiful children.

The unhappy wife might look at the dirty clothes her husband left on the floor or the toilet seat he failed to put down and allow that to frustrate her to a place of believing -in the moment- that this is the sum total of his being.  Allowing that to lead her down a path of mumbling, complaining or even worse, initiating an argument about something so trivial.

The happy wife might step over the dirty clothes knowing he’ll get around to them or pick them up herself knowing that only took 3 additional seconds out of her day.  But her thoughts remain squarely focused on the larger things, like how wonderful he is as a man, husband, father, provider.

Although I didn’t mention this explicitly in the book, Barry was spot on.  Every interview I conducted with a happily married couple, in 18 cities on 6 continents, each one had a distinct focus on the positive.  These couples guarded their thoughts daily about one another and their union.

Gratitude was continuously on their lips.  Grace toward one another in their hearts.  And all that is wonderful about marriage and their spouse is what replayed constantly in their mind.

If you want to find out what else I learned during my travels, and through these wonderful couples happily married 25 years of more, you can pre-order Happy Wives Club from Amazon today for 25% off.

Question: Can you think of an instance when changing your thought actually altered the end result?

Until Monday…make it a great day!

4 Ways to Pick Great Gifts for Your Husband’s Personality

I’ve long been fascinated with personality traits.  So much of what we do, how we react to certain situations, were based on predispositions.

When I was young, I’d hear, “She’s got a whole lot of personality!”  That was to say, I was strong-willed, hard headed and liked being right.

Some traits are learned.  Others are innate.

Taking various personality tests helped me understand how I was wired and how to build upon my strengths while improving my weaknesses.

What I love about this post and what Cheri Gregory does is she studies personalities for a living and tells us how to use that information to create and live the life we desire most.

And in this post, based on The Four Temperaments (take free quiz here), she shows you how to choose great gifts for your husband’s personality.

Until tomorrow…make it a great one!

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As newlyweds, Daniel and I made a point to relax together on the couch each evening.

While we caught up on each other’s day, I’d rub his neck, and he’d give me a foot massage.

One day about six months into our marriage, Daniel stopped mid-sentence, got a quizzical look on his face, and asked, “Do you prefer foot massages or neck rubs?”

“Neck rubs,” I responded, confused.

Then the light bulb went on.

I asked him, “Which do you prefer?”

Sure enough! 

“Foot massages,” he replied.

Armed with new knowledge, we switched: I started giving him foot massages, and he started giving me neck rubs.

We were happier on two levels.

As receivers, we were now getting what we most wanted. And as givers, we knew for certain that what we were giving was greatly valued.

 

Making the Personality Connection

Selecting Christmas gifts that match your husband’s personality type can give this same mutual satisfaction.

Gifts that connect with your husband’s personality goals and emotional needs are likely to be received as highly practical. And on a deeper level, they demonstrate your understanding and respect of who he is as a person.

Here are some quick guidelines and ideas to get started:

Sanguine: the Popular Personality

Goal:  Fun

Needs:  Attention and Approval

Gift Ideas: 

1. Comedy DVDs to watch and laugh at together;
2. Invitation for a “Mystery Trip” together (to a fun destination);
3. A ridiculous gag gift.

Melancholy: the Perfect Personality

Goal:  Perfection

Needs:  Sensitivity and Order

Gift Ideas: 

1. Organizational device for some area of disorder in the house;
2. “Quiet Coupons” he can use when he needs silence and solitude;
3. A book that combines key interests (i.e. the effect of music on the brain)

Choleric: the Powerful Personality

Goal:  Control

Needs:  Achievement and Appreciation

Gift Ideas: 

1. The latest does-it-all gadget;
2. An engraved pen and pencil set (for making and checking items off lists);
3. A customized World’s Best Husband award

Phlegmatic: the Peaceful Personality

Goal: Peace

Needs: Self-Worth and Comfort

Gift Ideas: 

1. A cushy beanbag chair or comfortable blanket for chillaxing;
2. A CD of a favorite musician or genre of music;
3. Coupons for “Movie Night” at home (complete with his favorite home-made snacks).

The One-Size-Fits-All Gift  

Write, print, and frame a list of things you love about your man.

• If he’s Sanguine, be sure to include the ways he makes you smile and laugh.
• If he’s Melancholy, list how he makes your life better.
• For a Choleric, focus on all he does for you.
• And for a Phlegmatic, note the ways he keeps you on an even keel. 

Personality Resources

• Free eBook: Top 10 Priceless Gifts for Each PURSE-onality that Don’t Cost a Dime
• Videos: “You’ve Got PURSE-onality!”
• Audio:  De-LIGHT-full Giving in a Weighty World

What ideas would you add to these lists?

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8 Great Ways to Connect With Your Spouse Today

Connection.  For every one of us, it reveals itself in many different ways.  

For my twenty-something niece and nephew, the phone is a bit of a nuisance for anything other than taking pictures and interacting on social media or through text.  

Rather than enjoying the moment, they are busy creating the perfect picture to send out.

But for them, that is connection.  That is how they stay in touch; the way they reveal their greatest passions.

In marriage, there are so many ways to connect with your spouse.  

Really, this list could go on for days.  But there are a few that I love to use in my own relationship, and as far as connections go, if the hubby and I were any more connected, we’d be joined at the hip.

Feel free to add to this list using the comment section below.  Would love to hear how you and your husband connect best.  Here are 8 of my favorites.

1. Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About.  Although the great Bonnie Raitt was singing about giving other folks something to talk about in this song, I’m referring to giving your spouse something to talk about?  

What is something your spouse loves to do; something he loves to talk about.  Engage him in that subject and then take joy in hearing his excitement in that particular thing. Especially, if it’s a topic you could ordinarily care less to hear about. Showing your interest builds connection.

2. Give Your Marriage a Healthy Dose of Vitamin F2.  When the fabulous Maggie Reyes at ModernMarried.com introduced us to this new vitamin a few weeks ago, I literally started clapping when reading her post, “Yes, yes, yes!”  Just like our bodies need vitamin A, B, C, D and a ton of others, our marriage needs a daily dose of F2.  What is Vitamin F2 you ask?  It stands for Flirt and fun and there are may, many ways to achieve that. 

3. Disconnect the Cable.  Okay, well maybe you don’t have to turn it off completely but I can’t tell you how much the connection between my husband and I increased after we decided to disconnect the cable box.  For two years, we’ve been without television (with the exception of DVDs and Netflix) and it’s the greatest experiment in connection ever.  And during those occasions when we want to watch a game on TV (I’m a huuuuuge Spurs fan), we’ll make a date out of it and go somewhere showing the game.

4. Surprise Your Spouse for No Reason.  Have you noticed how the smallest thing becomes that much more significant once you offer it as a surprise?  For instance, if I call my husband on my way home and ask him if he’d like me to pick up his favorite dessert, he’s always extremely grateful for my thoughtfulness and will express his pleasure in that.  But if I pick up his favorite dessert and surprise him with it, he’s like a 7-year old on Christmas eve all over again.  There’s just something about those small, sweet surprises.

5. Take a Walk…Even If Only in Your Backyard.  When was the last time you grabbed your spouse by the hand and held it thereon for 30 minutes?  I haven’t researched why holding hands increases connection at such a staggering rate but it’s something about having your palm over another’s that is like having two hearts beat against one another.  There is a lifeblood there that cannot be explained; only felt.

6. Ummmm…Sex, Well Duh.  We don’t talk about sex very much on Happy Wives Club but when we do, that posts gets shared like crazy!  I think there’s a reason for that.  The connection that comes when the two…literally…become one is unlike any other bond.  The key is in enjoying it and if you’re not there yet, stick with us (and read posts like this) because once you truly begin to enjoy it, it’s really like nothing else.

7. Exercise Together.  You might be thinking, “Really, with what time?  I barely have a moment to do 5 sit-ups.”  I hear you!  Been there, experienced that.  Here are a few quick and easy workouts you can do.  But if you can go for a run together, do push-ups together, whatever – just have fun with it.  The great thing about exercising together (even if for only 15 minutes) is you will both release endorphins at the same time and those fabulous “happy hormones,” are pretty fantastic to enjoy with your best friend.

8. Read a book together.  Recently, I ran into actress Meagan Good and her husband DeVon Franklin.  I’d sent them an advance copy of my book and they were talking about how much they were going to enjoy reading it together.  It was actually the first time I’d even thought about how much fun it might be to read with your spouse. The important thing is to get a book you will both enjoy reading.  (For my own little plug here…every man who has read an advance copy of Happy Wives Club has so far loved it because it’s not like any other marriage book.)  

QUESTION: So what other things do you do to connect with your spouse?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day! 

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Miserable to Happy Wife With One Simple Change

On our Facebook community page, more than 400,000 of us inspire one another daily through positive messages, quote memes and anything else that encourages happy and loving marriages.

But every now and again, I’ll get a message that reads something like this, “Why are you always focused on us?!  Why don’t you tell our husbands how they can love us better?!”

My response is usually some variation of, “Because you’ve come to the Happy Wives Club.  It’s a community of women.  Don’t think there are many husbands hanging out here.”

But more importantly, as I always remind them, there is only one person we can change.  When you point your finger at another, there are still three fingers pointing back at yourself.  And such is life.

For those of you who are already happily married, you may not find this article very useful.  But I bet you know someone who will so my request is that you’d scroll to the bottom and click “share.”  

I want to make sure all those who want to be happy in their marriage, and are committed to taking that first step, read this post written by our fabulous HWC contributor, Cheri Gregory.

Until Monday…make it a great day!

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Confession: I haven’t always been a Happy Wife.

For years, I was the reigning president and sole member of “The Most Miserable Wife Club.”  Nobody brought gifts to my pity parties and the entertainment was terrible!

I was sure that my husband’s many problems were the cause of my unhappiness. So I spent my days mulling and stewing over them.

• Daniel had a problem with over-reacting to poor drivers. He’d talk at them while they were in front of him and then mutter about them long after he’d passed.  

• Even worse was his spices-should-be-alphabetized problem. He blamed me when he reached for cayenne pepper but ended up with nutmeg in his chili.

• Then there was his serious lack of sociability problem. He preferred to stay home –– “Just the two of us, Babe!” he’d say –– rather than attend potlucks or parties together.

I tried for more than a decade to solve “my husband’s problems” by whining about them and waiting for him to change. I expected my misery to motive him. 

Unfortunately, I was labeling my own personal preferences and expectations as “my husband’s problems”.  This was not beneficial nor helpful to our marriage at all.

Have you ever done that?

Reading books like Why Marriages Succeed or Fail by John Gottman and Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs, I discovered that what I’d been calling “my husband’s problems” were not his problems after all.

They were mine.

The real problems were (1) my reactivity and (2) my reluctance to take personal responsibility. So, I practiced reframing “my husband’s problem” as

• “my problem with my own anxiety when I’m a passenger and feel out of control.”

• “my problem with interpreting a reasonable request for order as a personal attack.”

• “my problem with expecting someone else to take care of my socializing needs for me.”

As I started recognizing my personal preferences and expectations –– and taking responsibility for my reactions and needs –– “my husband’s problems” vanished one-by-one!

With my vision no longer obscured by irritation, I began to notice Daniel’s myriad strengths and see all the positive contributions he was making to my life. 

I finally felt free. To enjoy my man. To be fully present in our marriage. And to give my husband the gift of a happy wife.

The best is yet to come!

Cheri @Anchoring Hearts in Hope

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5 Automatic Benefits of Sex You Might Not Know {But Should…}

Ordinarily, I introduce every HWC contributor and guest writer that joins us.  But I feel as though so many of you know Annett Davis by now that there’s no need.

Former Olympian.  Our Health and Fitness editor.  Happy Wife.  Homeschoolin’ momma to two of the most brilliant children I’ve ever encountered.  She’s just an all-around amazing person.

From she and her incredibly talented husband, Byron, I’ve learned so much about cherishing the important things in life.  And…I just realized in my attempt not to give an intro…I just gave one.

So I’ll say just one more thing (might as well at this point…).  While reading this post from Annett, I began clapping my hands when I got to a particular part.  But I’ll let you guess which part.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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I’ve really been enjoying the Happy Wives Club Holiday Series, haven’t you?

Typically, ’tis the season to stress out to the max!  With holiday parties to plan and attend, hundreds of gifts to buy, family and friends to visit, decorations to put up, and 1000 cookies to bake, who wouldn’t be stressed out?

With all that you have going on, there are ways to help you stress- less. One of my husband’s favorite ways (and now mine) is Sexercise!

Yep, you read that correctly sex can help to reduce your stress levels.

I know, I know. You were just reminded of all the things you have to do, and now I add on another thing to your list. Well, it’s time to flip the switch and instead of thinking of sex as a chore… think about it as a GREAT benefit to you and your hubby (and your secret weapon to eliminating stress).

Here are 5 Automatic Benefits of Sex!

1.  Happy Hormones are released when you have sex, oxytocin and endorphins to be exact. Calming hormones are released in your body which can help to lower your blood pressure as well. (FYI, solo acts don’t have this effect, only partner sex with your hubby.)

2.  Kissing, cuddling, and hugging can help relieve stress too.  Studies show that couples that kiss, cuddle, and touch more are less depressed and stressed than their non-touchy feely counterparts.  In fact, couples that kiss a lot are eight times less likely to be stressed!

Keep the smooching going ladies, especially in the tough stressful times (this will also keep your hubby in a good mood too).

3.  Sex can keep you healthy! During the holidays the last thing anyone wants is to get sick.  There’s just too much to do. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Sex releases a hormone that helps you ward off germs and viruses, helping to keep you healthy.  Being free of illness is a great stress reliever in itself.

4.  Less is More! I bet you thought I was going to say, having less sex is better for you. No silly! In fact, the more sex you have the more it will benefit you. The more you have the less stressed you’ll become. 

It is true that sometimes we get a little anxiety (stress) that comes on right before having sex. But, the more sex we have over time that decreases, which means you will lower the amount of cortisol in your body. That is a good thing since chronic stress can lead to heart disease, weight gain, and other things we don’t want.  More sex = less cortisol and in this case, less is well…more (it’s better for you).

5.  Good sex and a good mood seem to go hand in hand. Research has shown that after a woman has sex not only is she less stressed that day, but women also tend to be in a better mood the following day. What’s even better is the fact that when you are in a good mood, it leads to more sex. 

(I know your husband will probably be standing up applauding me after you tell him this.)

Now, I don’t want to come across as a sex crazed looney. (Believe me, I’m not.)  My point is that science proves that making love to your love is a great way to immediately lessen stress…even the holiday kind.

Sex does wonders for your hormones, and lowers your cortisol levels which is directly correlated to stress and anxiety.  Sexercise increases your ability to relax and let go of the stress, simultaneously giving you some of the same benefits that exercise has on your body. It’s a win-win!

Well what are you waiting for? Get to it!

Thank me later.

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5 Special Gifts for National Husband’s Day

On January 22, 2014, we sponsored an unofficial new holiday: National Husband’s Day. A special day set aside for the nearly 1 million women in the Happy Wives Club community to celebrate our husbands.

Initially, my hope was we’d be able to get a government official to proclaim the day on our behalf. Our team began working on that and quickly realized the many complications of getting a date named as a holiday officially. But who needs official?

National Peanut Butter Day is one of my absolute favorite holidays. No government official has yet to recognize that officially but that doesn’t stop me from indulging in a few more spoonfuls of that tasty stuff just at the mention of its national holiday.

So let’s celebrate our special day together!

To make it easy, we’ve come up with 5 special (and free) gifts you can give your husband today to commemorate the occasion.

1. Print this certificate. If you didn’t get a chance to print this off last year, you may still want to print it now to let your husband know you’re a proud member of this club and because of his love, you’ve sponsored this day honoring him. This is the original sponsorship certificate so it includes the original 2014 date. Here is one dated for 2015.

2. Customize this proclamation. If you printed the above certificate last year as one of the original sponsors of National Husband’s Day (or even if you didn’t), we’ve created a customizable proclamation for you to give your husband this year. Customize it. Print it out (legal size paper). Frame it. Then deliver to him a gift sure to make him proud. (If your computer doesn’t allow you to customize the PDF, print this one to handwrite his name and your name instead).

3. Print a customized Book of Love. This fantastic DIY coupon book from The Dating Divas is something sure to knock your husband’s socks off. Surprise him with this creative book that gives him all the things he wants most…one coupon at a time.

4. Write the perfect love letter. Have you ever written your husband a love letter? Not just a few words at the bottom of a card but actually write the card yourself? If not, today’s a pretty fantastic day to sharpen your writing skills. To make it easy, here are 7 ways to write the perfect love letter.

5. Spoil your spouse date night. There’s no better night than tonight to spoil your spouse. This date night is all about doing what your husband loves to do. No marital compromise here –this is his night!

Any excuse to celebrate those fabulous hubbies of ours is a good enough excuse for me.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

We’re SO close to our goal! JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book. I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way. It’s a marriage book like none other. Guaranteed.