Author Archives: Fawn Weaver

About Fawn Weaver

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

The Best Piece of Advice for Newlyweds – Ever

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I learned something quite extraordinary as a newlywed. Something I wasn’t expecting in the least. You may have experienced this, as well.

Some people -even those with the best of intentions- give the absolute worst advice!

During the courtship phase, everyone asks questions like, “When is he going to propose?” ”Has he proposed yet?”

These and other questions like them can cause a bit of angst and make you feel as though you’re not moving fast enough.

Then you get engaged and everyone gives an endless amount of advice on the wedding.

Who knew so many people would have an opinion on your dress, wedding invitations, the bridal registry and table seating arrangements?

The great thing, however, is during this engagement period, most seem to speak positively about love, marriage and the joy you’ll experience after I do.

There is an optimism in the air and it feels oh so good.

Then something odd happens. The wedding day comes around, we pledge til’ death do us part, and head out into the real world hand-in-hand; excited about our new life together.

Within days, the advice begins pouring in and most of it is…dare I say…pretty doggone negative.

Everyone begins warning you about all the things that can possibly go wrong in marriage. The bubble of happiness surrounding you goes pop! just that fast.

More than any other point, when newly married women joining the club send me a note, they recount this exact same problem. They just want to hear someone say something good about marriage – anything…anyone.

Over the years, I’ve stopped giving advice. I prefer to be more of a learner than a teacher and have discovered what works for one person may not work for another. I absolutely love giving tips, suggestions, and encouraging wives to create their happily ever after. But advice? Not so much.

The one exception to my non-advice “rule” is this one piece of advice for newlyweds. I share it with every newly married person I meet. It’s the one thing I wish someone had told me in the beginning (and once someone finally did, it was like pouring rain on the Mohave Desert):

Only listen to advice from those whose marriages you’d like yours to emulate.

That’s it. The beauty of that one piece of advice is it’s universal. It gives a couple permission to disregard all negative advice and focus on all that is wonderful and positive about their new union.

I tell them, “Let the negative stuff go in one ear and out the other. But the positive stuff, allow that to go in, marinate, meditate, and never let it go.”

We’re not telling them to live in a bubble or to pretend everything in life will always be perfect. But we are encouraging them to seek out a couple (or many couples) in their family or community who have mastered the art of love and bring out the best in each other.

In that singular piece of advice, we’ve validated their belief that happy marriages do still exist, a lasting one is possible, and it can be theirs to have and to hold til’ death do them part. And really, when a couple is newly married, what else do they need to know?

QUESTION: Do you remember what was the best (or worst) advice you received as a newlywed?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

SAVE THE DATE: Bloggers, join us here every third Monday of the month for our fabulous link-up party! Join us September 16th for our next Marriage Mondays!

44 Reasons You Should Join the Happy Wives Club

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Have you noticed we’re living in a reality television world that seems hell-bent on selling the same story: wives are miserable, husbands cheat, marriages usually end in divorce, and happily ever after only exists in fairy tales?

Well, that’s why we’re here. While the world remains fixated on all that can possibly go wrong in marriage, we remain squarely focused on all that can go right.

This club shines a bright light on one important (but often overlooked) truth: Happily ever after isn’t a fairy tale…it’s a choice.

What began in 2010 as a simple way to shine a light on the positive side of marriage has turned into a vibrant community of close to 200,000 women wanting to surround themselves with others who are like-minded.

We form friendships and encourage each other daily. If you’re not a part of our online community, make sure to join us here.

And if you’re happily married (or aspire to be) and haven’t joined the Club yet, what are you waiting for? You can do it in seconds right here. The world needs to know that wives like you exist. They need to know that the report of marriage’s demise has been grossly over exaggerated.

And if you need further convincing, here are 44 reasons you should join the Happy Wives Club:

You love and adore your husband and he feels the same about you.
You believe love and marriage still go hand-in-hand and want to share that with the world!
You will be joining a community of nearly 200,000 women in over 100 countries around the world.
You will finally have a place to talk openly about the beauty or marriage and how much you love your hubby without worrying about offending anyone or hurting anyone else’s feelings.
This is a community that LOVES to hear you brag about your hubby! You’ll never hear a snarky comment in response when you gush about the awesomeness of your man.
Your presence in this club signals to the world that the demise of marriage has been largely exaggerated and awesome husbands do still exist.
You can invite your friends who are happily married (or desire to be) and create a local “Happy Wives Club” IRL (in real life).
If you join our active community, You’ll be encouraged daily in your marriage.
If you sign up for our free weekly newsletter, you’ll receive practical tips on taking your marriage from good to great and from great to extraordinary.
To help encourage others that a happy marriage isn’t only possible, it’s within their reach.
You’ll never, ever, see a negative post on this site. Where else can you be guaranteed that?
You’ll be joining an upbeat community focused on all that is positive about marriage and life.
You’ll always leave this site refreshed, renewed, ready to tackle the world…yet, another day.
Membership is, of course, free. HAVE YOU JOINED YET? IF NOT, CLICK HERE TO JOIN.
Awesome giveaways for you and your spouse to enjoy (like this all-expenses paid trip to Disneyland).
You’ll get practical tips on boosting your sex life.
You’ll get great advice from women happily married 20, 30, 40, even 50 years.
Some of the most popular posts on marriage and relationships on the web can be found on this site (like this one), and if you’ll have instant access to them every time they’re published.
Did you know our Health & Fitness section is managed by Olympian, Annett Davis? She gives awesome advice for getting our bodies right.
Need awesome anniversary gift ideas on the cheap? We’ve got you covered with posts like this.
Looking for frugal or free ways to celebrate your anniversary or your husband’s birthday? Yep, we have one of the most popular posts on the web dedicated to that too.
Need to figure out innovative ways to keep dating your spouse while the kiddos are young? Not a problem. We’re great at that.
Some of the best food bloggers on the web join us in our Food section and share awesome recipes they’ve tested with their own families.
Need Date Night ideas? We’ve got you covered.
Thinking about traveling with your family and want to know where to go and what to do? Yep, we’ve got you covered there too.
You learn the benefits of Sexercise and this is something you definitely want to know. Yes, you!
You’ll get fabulous tips on flirting with your hubby.
You will get great financial tips from couples who have succeeded in creating a debt-free household.
You’ll discover unique activities you can do, not only with your husband, but with other couples.
Thinking about going into business with your spouse, we can think of tons of reasons why you should and will give you the encouragement to git-r-done.
Need date nights on the cheap. How about some great ways to get that done? You’ll find that here too.
You’ll learn the one thing every couple must know.
Trying to figure out how to keep the romance alive after the baby is born? Oh yeah, you’ll find that here too.
You’ll get practical tips on sex, like how to boost your libido.
Infertility challenges? Well, we can’t help you with that but we will encourage you along your journey.
During those moments when your marriage needs a little boost, we’ll show you how to do that in 10 minutes or less.
On the days when you’re feeling down and your energy is low, we’ll give you tips for maintaining your happiness no matter what.
Ever feel too tired for sex? We’ll give you 4 benefits for love making – for you!
Meet new friends. You’ll really like our 30 fabulous contributors who write here and we all love our hubbies!
You’ll quickly discover that by changing the conversation…you can help change the world.

If the above forty didn’t convince you to join the club, maybe nothing will. Except, perhaps, the following quotes that remind us of the absolute importance marriages staying together (and the happier, the better):

“The effects of the decline of marriage on society are striking. The failure of parents to marry and stay married leads to more crime, poverty, mental health problems, welfare dependency, failed schools, blighted neighborhoods, bloated prisons, and higher rates of single parenting and divorce in the next generation. Nearly every major social problem has deep roots in the failure of adults to form and sustain healthy marriages.” -Bill Doherty, Director of Marriage and Family Therapy at University of Minnesota
“You need only do three things in this country to avoid poverty – finish high school,
marry before having a child, and marry after the age of 20. Only 8 percent of the families
who do this are poor; 79 percent of those who fail to do this are poor.” -William Galston, former White House Administration
“The collapse of marriage is the principal cause of child poverty in the United States. . . Overall, some 80% of long-term child poverty in the United States is found among children from broken or never-formed families.” -Robert Rector, US Poverty Issues Expert
“The United States Administration for Children and Families (ACF) spends $46 billion per year operating 65 different social programs. If one goes down the list of these programs… the need for each is either created or exacerbated by the breakup of families and marriages.” -Wade Horn, Psychologist and former US Assistant Secretary for Children and Families

So there’s my pitch! My goal when I set out on this journey was to find at least one million women around the world, proud to declare their love for their husbands. We’re one-fifth of the way there and if you’ll share the club’s mission with your friends and invite them to join the million member challenge, we’ll definitely get there.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Sharing the Love {Marriage Mondays Link-Up}

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One of the things I love most about being a blogger dedicated solely to the beauty of love and the wonder of marriage is all those I’ve met along the way.

Women like you. Bloggers like those joining us today.

Every 3rd Monday of the month, we invite married bloggers from around the web to join us for our Marriage Mondays link up.

Sometimes the posts they spotlight will be about love and marriage. Other times, they’re about anything on their mind.

What is great is when you visit the sites of any of those linked up below, you know they are like you: Not Stepford. Not Desperate. But madly in love with their hubbies! And quite frankly, we all need to know women like that.

Click on any of the links below. Read the posts. Be encouraged. And don’t forget to encourage the blogger by posting a comment.

Although I usually publish a new post every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, this week I’ll be adding one extra day. So join me here tomorrow for a special post just for you. And as always, it’ll be all about love.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

An InLinkz Link-up

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

SAVE THE DATE: Bloggers, join us here every third Monday of the month for our fabulous link-up party! Join us September 16th for our next Marriage Mondays!

8 Ways to Increase Your Marriage IQ

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Did you know genetics only account for fifty percent of a person’s intelligence quotient (IQ)? The other fifty percent can be increased year after year through training and intentionality.

That got me thinking. What about a person’s marriage IQ?

When researching articles (like this one) on how to increase your IQ, I noticed they all gave similar suggestions. And almost all of those ideas could be applied to increasing the knowledge of one’s spouse and how to make marriage even better.

So let’s get to it! Here are 8 ways to increase your marriage IQ:

1. Begin Your Day Off Right. In marriage, it’s not the right breakfast that increases your IQ; it’s enjoying it together. Some aren’t big breakfast people (hubby and I certainly aren’t), don’t worry, you can have the same impact by beginning each day together with a cup of java or tea.

If mornings don’t work, try setting the time aside at the end of your day. Either way, what’s most important is this time together -daily- can help you stay in tune with your spouse and marriage.

2. Stay Fit & Keep Your Heart Healthy. Everyone repeat after me: “Endorphins!” These little neurotransmitters pass along signals from one neuron to the next.

Exercising (and sex!) release endorphins which help to lower stress, are natural pain killers, and give an instant boost to your happiness. There is absolutely no downside to staying fit and Sexercise will double the benefit.

3. Keep & Review a Daily Journal. Keeping a Why I Love My Husband list or creating a gratitude journal specific to your spouse will keep your spirits high, even when they’re thinking about taking you low.

If your hubby does something that disappoints you or hurts your feelings, just flip open the journal to what wonderful things you wrote about him the day before and be reminded to not the sweat the small stuff. You married an awesome person. You said so yourself…just hours earlier.

4. Take a Break. Which one among us doesn’t need a mental break; an intentional time of recharging our mental batteries. For my hubby and me, we set aside twenty-four hours each week when we do absolutely, positively no work. This has been our saving grace, especially, in our busier seasons. Initially, it might seem odd not working for an entire day. But I promise, your marriage will soon thank you.

5. Don’t Get Bored. Mindless surfing of channels and the internet is time that could be much better spent actually doing something (resting, by the way, is something). Rather than vegging out in front of a television, try whipping out the Scrabble board and going toe-to-toe in fun competition.

To increase your IQ, experts recommend a Rubik’s cube. To increase your marriage IQ, we recommend anything that will get you talking and enjoying one another often and intentionally. Here are some great ideas from SheKnows for this activity.

6. Life Long Learning. Whatever you do, never stop learning! Reading books on marriage (and then implementing the suggestions that relate to your own) is one of the fastest and most efficient ways to increase your marriage IQ.

Books like Dr. Kevin Leman’s Sheet Music (for sex), Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages (for communication) and Laura Doyle’s The Surrendered Wife (balance of power) have helped more marriages than I can count. I can’t tell you how many marriage books I’ve read over the years and each one has had a gem in it I could immediately apply to my own.

7. Meditation. If your brain goes from 0-to-60 in .05 seconds like mine, this is something that will be incredibly beneficial to you. Praying is a form of meditation. Laying or sitting still and clearing your mind is another. Deep inhales and exhales can be a form of meditation, as well.

The bottom line is it helps you -at any time- slow down your day. That reduction of stress can only increase the pleasure in the time you spend with your husband.

8. Find a Marriage Mentor. There is no greater way to learn how to take your marriage from good to great and from great to extraordinary than by surrounding yourself with others who have already walked the road you’re currently traveling. I previously wrote an entire post on the 5 reasons you should have a marriage mentor and highly recommend it.

As is the case with intelligence, increasing your marital IQ isn’t required in order to have a great marriage. But why not give it a try anyhow?

QUESTION: What other ways do you think one can increase their marriage IQ (intellect and knowledge of spouse and pleasure in their marriage)?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

The Fun Dare: 12 Dates in 12 Days

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Have you ever thought to yourself, “I’d love to have a date night but just don’t have the time”? If you’ve uttered those words over the past four weeks I want to challenge you to The Fun Dare!

You can make up for all those date nights you haven’t had -in less than two weeks. The dates don’t have to be complicated and can all be at home. The important thing is you set aside the time to do it.

Don’t worry, we’ll supply the date ideas.

Think of this as The Twelve Days of Christmas with your fabulous spouse (minus the drummers drumming, pipers piping and the maids-a-milking) and open up a fabulous new date daily for 12 days.

The important thing with The Fun Dare is to block 12 consecutive days off your calendar (or one day a week for 12 weeks if the consecutive days just aren’t possible) and treat your spouse to the time of their life.

Are you ready to take on the challenge?

Here we go. Ready. Set. Date!

Day 1: Take Dance Lessons. Yes, you! Don’t go expecting to be on next season’s So You Think You Can Dance, but use this as a great kick off to your Fun Dare. It’s the perfect way to get up close and personal while burning some calories together!

Sign up at a local community center for free, find a nearby dance school, or my favorite: Type in “Learn to Dance” on YouTube and pick a video. From ballroom to hip hop to salsa, you can learn it all for free in the comfort of your own home.

Day 2: Create a Homemade Spa. The simplest, most relaxing date ever. And after your night of dancing, you might need it! Pick up some lightly scented candles (lavender is a good choice), a CD with tranquil music and a bit of oil for your couple massages. Fill the bathtub with warm water and bubbles and treat one another to a nice soak followed by a relaxing massage. If you’re feeling adventurous, you can try giving each other facials or scrubs. And if you’re really feeling generous, give each other manicures and pedicures.

Day 3: Play Librarian. It’s not Halloween so don’t go pulling out your “sexy librarian” costume. Drive to your local library and once inside, walk up and down the aisles looking for books that remind you of your school years. Bring as many back to the table and share with each other your various stories of why each book made an impression on you. Books, like music, have a funny way of sending us down memory lane. And your spouse will love learning even more about you.

Day 4: Exchange New Marriage Vows. There is something incredibly sacred about vowing to love one another til’ death do you part. And the many commitments between your first words and that final line are something worth celebrating. Sit across from each other and set the timer for 60 minutes. You can use a dictionary, the computer, and anything else that will inspire you to write the best vows. After they’re done, spend time reading it to one another and then toast with a glass of champagne (or apple cider).

Day 5: Build a Campfire in Your Backyard. One of my dear friends rented a home for more than 10 years and I’m convinced the reason she loved it there so much was the fire pit she built in the backyard. Don’t worry, the grass will grow back! But even more likely, you won’t want it to. Camille and her hubby built their own and I also found this great tutorial online by Debbie Graney.

Once you’re done, grab a couple chocolate bars, some graham crackers and marshmallows and celebrate all your hard work with freshly made S’mores. And if you happen to do this at night, don’t forget to look up. Stargazing together is about as romantic as romantic gets.

Day 6: Game Night Circa 1990. What board games were you playing 23 years ago? If you or your spouse are too young to remember, change the “circa” to any year you’d like. We know those board games exist somewhere. In the attic, maybe the closet or basement. Wherever they are, break them out and enjoy game night like you’re kids again. And if you’re up for it, try a sexy game night (definitely put the kids to bed for this one ).

Day 7: Get Fancy! Host a Wine and Cheese Night for Two. You would be amazed at the great wines being sold these days for less than $10 per bottle. Couple that with some delicious cheeses sold in the deli section of your local grocery store and you’re ready for an awesome date night at home. Don’t worry about buying one of the fancy trays to display the cheese, your chopping block will do do the trick.

Day 8: Become a Connoisseur. Pick something. Anything that interest you. And become a connoisseur. For Keith’s 39th birthday, we became of connoisseurs of…tamales! I looked up reviews for every place in the Los Angeles area that served tamales and then went to the eight with the best reviews. We even invited family to join us at a few of the stops. For 8 hours, we drove from north to south and east to west in search of the best tamales in town (and this is a big town).

Day 9: Don’t Stop Til’ You Drop. Find a coupon online (Living Social, Groupon, Amazon Local, etc) for a trendy new workout and jump right in. Spinning and power yoga combined (mine and hubby’s favorite), Crunch Fitness, indoor surfing, CrossFit – there’s never a shortage of the workout studios cropping up all over town. And if, by chance, you can’t find one with a discount coupon (or even better, a “try your first class free” offer), or if the kiddos make it tough to leave the house, find a workout video or instructional online that will make you sweat.

There’s nothing like panting with your partner after a good workout and barely mustering the energy to give each other a high five. Good times!

Day 10: Start a Home Improvement Project. What one thing in your home would you and your spouse both enjoy fixing up? Maybe paint a room a new color, build a bird house, create a couple’s collage, or stain the hardwood floors. Whatever you do, just remember the operative phrase here is “both enjoy.”

Day 11: Enjoy a Movie in the Open Air. Did you know there are still hundreds of drive-in theaters all around the US? Thank goodness, this style of movie watching didn’t die with Grease. Park your car, lean your seat back and enjoy a movie with you honey (popcorn fight and all). Need a stay-at-home version of this date? Pitch a tent in your living room, bring the television inside, and then snuggle under a blanket while watching your favorite movie on DVD.

Day 12: Check Something Off Your Bucket List. You and your spouse both have bucket lists, don’t you? Well, find something on there that’s doable for you both to do and help cross one thing off each of your bucket lists…together. I can’t think of a better way to end your Fun Dare than with helping one another fill one of your lifelong goals.

(MOMS: Have no fear, parent-friendly modifications can easily be made. And if you have young ones at home and need more ideas that allow you stay close to your little ones, try our Top 20 Stay-At-Home Date Night Ideas. Also, check out the comment below from Annett Davis who is doing a “date night kids swap” with her neighbor once a week so she and her husband can take the challenge.)

QUESTION: So tell us, are you going to take the challenge? What do you think will be your first date?

P.S. If you have an anniversary coming up, this is a FANTASTIC gift to give your husband. Begin your anniversary twelve days early and save your best date for last.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

MARRIAGE MONDAYS Link Up Party: Bloggers, join us here every third Monday of the month for our fabulous link-up party! Join us August 19th for our next Marriage Mondays!

7 Simple Tips to Writing the Perfect Love Note

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Do you come down with a severe case of writer’s block every time you think about writing a love note to your spouse?

You’re not alone.

Even if you’re usually a talkative person, sometimes transferring that energy onto paper can be a challenge.

For some people, speaking through a pen comes naturally. For most, however, it can be a difficult thing. My husband is an incredibly gifted writer…except when it comes to writing love notes.

He easily verbalizes how much he loves me in the most beautiful ways, but ask him to write those same words down and you’ll get a blank stare.

For the first eight years of our marriage, he signed nearly every card with, “Love, Keith.” Now, he’s advanced to adding a sentence or two before the Love, Keith.

So if you are anything like my husband (come to think of it, maybe I should send this post to him too ), here are 7 simple tips to writing the perfect love note:

1. Don’t be afraid to borrow words. Listen, I highly doubt Hallmark is going to come after you for borrowing words from their cards to give to your husband. As long as you’re not posting it on the internet and it’s private, use these words for inspiration.

2. Get your groove on…and then write down the lyrics. Find a love song, get your groove on, and then jot down some of the lyrics. Have you ever noticed how a love song you heard at a special place 15 years ago can cause memories to come rushing back the moment you hear it again? Go online and search lyrics to romantic songs like Clint & Lisa Black’s When I Said I Do and turn those into a beautiful note.

3. Leave technology out of it. Here’s the one time in the 21st century when you should not use technology. The most personal love letters are handwritten. It doesn’t matter if you have poor penmanship (although you may want to consider writing a few drafts to get the nicest version possible). So pull out a pencil or pen and a piece of paper and go at this the old fashioned way.

4. Let nature speak to you. When was the last time you left the hustle and bustle of city life (or the often hectic pace of home life) and simply immersed yourself in nature? I don’t know about you but when I am among nothing but trees, sitting beneath stars, walking along a sandy beach or hiking in the mountains, words flow more clearly. Clarity is gained and all that is beautiful comes rushing to your mind. Immerse yourself in a natural and picturesque environment, whip out your pen and note pad, and I bet something magical will appear on your paper.

5. Enlist help. Listen, if you want to write something beautiful and aren’t gifted in the area of creative writing, enlist your friends and family. Send out a mass email and make a fun game out of it. Tell everyone to send a line to be added to the letter. You will get some oh-so-funny responses. And if you can’t use any of them, at least you’ll get a big laugh out of it.

6. Pinterest, baby. I was one of the last bloggers to get on Pinterest. No, really. I fought it as long as I could because I’m not an arts and crafts person. But now that I understand it better, I realize how useful this social network can be for drawing inspiration. Find all sorts of creative love letters and notes and borrow from their ideas.

7. Don’t be afraid of a few ABC’s. Do you remember Nat King Cole’s L-O-V-E, “L is for the way you look at me. O is for the only one I see. V is very, very extraordinary. E is even more than anyone that you adore and. Love is all that I can give…”? If all else fails, bust out your dictionary and run through a list of words that fit various letters in the alphabet. For instance, if your husband’s name is Mike you could say, “M is for the marvelous way you love me, I is for…” and on and on.

Are love letters important in order to show someone you love them? Of course not. But why not do it anyway?

QUESTION: When was the last time you wrote your spouse a love letter? What was their response?

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

SAVE THE DATE: Bloggers, join us here every third Monday of the month for our fabulous Marriage Mondays link-up party! Next Up: Mark your calendars for Monday, August 19th!

Teamwork Makes the Marriage Work

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A mantra often quoted in the corporate world is teamwork makes the dream work. What I’ve discovered in my own life is this is even more true when it comes to relationships and marriage.

A couple weeks ago, my Facebook status read, “London for meetings, Chicago for a conference, Bahamas for a wedding, New York for meetings, San Francisco for a friend’s 50th birthday – and that’s all within the next 4 weeks. Go Team Weaver!”

This is our life. A bit crazy, utterly hectic, and absolutely wonderful. We know we can do everything, as long as we do it together.

Team Weaver is how we’re known to our friends. Over the years, I’ve truly come to appreciate that title more and more.

I can think back over the past ten years, all the out of reach goals we’ve set for ourselves, the “unrealistic” dreams we put front and center. Even some of the prayers we sent up, most would probably think might come back down with, “Uh, are you kidding?”

But we weren’t kidding.

We have a profound faith in one another. We have a desire to see the other succeed even more than we desire success for ourselves.

Years ago, my former colleagues invited me to join them for a 5K race for charity. The company was sponsoring a group of runners and I was asked to be one of them. Here’s the problem. I didn’t know how to run.

I know, in theory, running is just about putting one foot in front of the other with greater frequency than you might for walking.

That is in theory. In reality, nearly every runner will tell you that running is about training; it is about endurance. It is about learning to breathe properly so you don’t get winded.

When I explained why I couldn’t join the team, one of the gals said, “Oh, don’t worry about any of that. You’re only going to need to run one leg of the 5K. This is a relay.”

If we look at marriage as a relay, we can easily see why teamwork makes the marriage work. You can run at least twice as far. You can climb at least twice as high. You can bear at least twice the amount of weight.

Have you ever tried doing a seated leg press on a weight machine at the gym? It’s not my favorite machine, that’s for sure, but it is incredibly beneficial for my glutes so I use it every now and then. When I sit down, place both of my feet on the metal plate and push, I am able to press approximately 250 lbs. But when I reduce the weight to half and attempt to do the same with only one leg, I can’t even move the plate.

It would stand to reason that if I press 250 lbs. with both legs, I should be able to press 125 lbs. with one. But just as that is not the case with this interesting little contraption at the gym, that’s not the case in life. Teaming up with your spouse doesn’t just multiply the effort and results by two, it increases your ability to do everything far more than you could possibly think.

The next time you’re shooting for an out of reach goal, team up with your spouse and see how quickly something can go from being impossible to absolutely possible.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

MARRIAGE MONDAYS Link Up Party: Bloggers, join us here every third Monday of the month for our fabulous link-up party! Join us August 19th for our next Marriage Mondays!

It’s Marriage Mondays Link-Up Party Time!

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I’ve been waiting for this day for the past three weeks. It’s Marriage Mondays link-up party time!

Previously, we’d hosted this link up party weekly but because it’s my desire to visit the sites of all those who link up, that became a bit of a challenge to keep up with each week.

Last month, I made the decision to change Marriage Mondays to the 3rd Monday of every month. It was a tough decision because I love visiting the sites of all the married bloggers who link up on this special day.

For those who don’t know, Marriage Mondays is the time when wonderful bloggers from around the world join us here to share their favorite blog posts from the past month.

I invite you to join me in hopping around to as many blogs as time will spare.

I love meeting new bloggers and am always encouraged reading the posts of those who join the link-up party. I hope you will, as well.

If you’re a blogger, link up your most intriguing posts from the past month below. Remember, if it doesn’t have a good title, chances are no one will be interested in hopping over to read it. So link up the best you’ve got and woo us to your site.

We are a community of close to 200,000 women and we’re here to support one another, encourage each other and shining a positive light on life, love and marriage.

So put on your dancing shoes and join the link up party!

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

An InLinkz Link-up

The 15 Best Aphrodisiac Recipes For Your Hubby & You

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Does your hubby know his way around the kitchen? Does he love showing off his culinary skills?

If you’ve been longing to see your husband standing over the stove and making a delicious meal for you, show him these recipes!

I guarantee he will be all too happy to burn it up in the kitchen so you can both steam up in the bedroom a little later.

Studies have long shown that certain vitamins and minerals increase nerve sensitivity and boost hormone levels, pumping up that sometimes elusive libido.

I know what you might be thinking, and no, oysters aren’t the only aphrodisiac food with the ability to put you in the mood.

So find a recipe here and eat your way to an incredible time using the 15 best aphrodisiac recipes we’re dishing up.

Breakfast (Did you know libido is oftentimes highest in the morning? Or so I’ve been told )

Almond French Toast: Grab your hubby by the hand and get the morning started off right! Not only does this recipe include two aphrodisiac foods, almonds and eggs, you can top it off with two more -bananas and strawberries- for an orgasmic delight.

Freestyle Frittata: This distinct Italian relative of the omelet uses not one but two aphrodisiac foods. Send your libido into overdrive with every delectable bite!

Chocolate Maca Milkshake: Get a libido boost first thing in the morning by adding this powerful superfood to any of your smoothies or begin the morning with something a little sweeter. Sworn by Peruvians to be the most powerful aphrodisiac ever, Maca roots are said to boost sexual strength and libido.

Lunch or Dinner (don’t be afraid to break away in the middle of the day for a bedroom soiree)

Black and White Steak au Poivre: Those French certainly know how to make some sexy dishes! Add a glass of red wine, another aphrodisiac food, to this meal and Ooh La La.

Asparagus, Mozzarella & Prosciutto Parcels: An English herbalist from the 17th century, Nicholas Culpepper, wrote that asparagus “stirs up lust in man and woman.” In 19th century France, bridegrooms were served three courses of the sexy spears at their prenuptial dinners. A great source of vitamins and minerals, including folic acid, which is said to boost histamine production necessary for the ability to reach orgasm in both sexes. Oh yeah!

Fig Goat Cheese Pie with Basil: If you’ve not figured it out by now, my goal is to find recipes that combine as many of the top 30 aphrodisiac foods thought to boost the libido as possible. This lovely recipe combines three, almonds, fig and basil, for a taste that is out of this world!

King Ranch Chicken: With the slightly spicy kick of poblano and jalapeño chile peppers (and aphrodisiac food that fires you up in all the right places), this cheesy chicken casserole is anything but ordinary.

Oyster and Scallop Tartare with Ginger Dressing: Cue the gastronomic explosion in your mouth with this recipe that combines three aphrodisiac foods: oysters, ginger and champagne.

Salmon with Sweet Chili Glaze and Sugar Snap Peas: The wild variety of salmon is a great source of Omega-3 fatty acids. These essential oils are said to help in proper glandular development and lead to increased response to arousal. Throw in some sweet chili sauce and ginger and you’ve got a dinner jam-packed with three aphrodisiacs.

Bacon, Avocado and Tomato Cristini: Although I’ve never seen bacon on a list of aphrodisiac foods, I’m sure there are plenty men out there who might disagree. But just in case bacon being an aphrodisiac is a myth, this recipe includes three real ones: avocado, garlic and lemon. As my little sister would say, “Yummerz!”

Cold Almond and Garlic Soup with Figs and Marcona Almonds: The Mediterranean diet isn’t thought to be the sexiest diet in the world for no reason. This soup boasts three aphrodisiac ingredients -used often in Mediterranean diets- in one bowl. Jackpot.

Spicy Strawberry Salsa: What happens when you add a little bit of lime juice, jalapeño pepper, and a few other choice items with strawberries? You get something that is out of this world! Sure, strawberries are pretty sexy-looking already. But on top of that, they contain antioxidants and improve circulation, which up your chances of having a hot-blooded encounter.

Dessert (chocolate is an aphrodisiac…so get double the pleasure)

Pomegranate Chocolate Chunk Oatmeal Cookies: Now, who wouldn’t love the combination of these three aphrodisiacs (chocolate, pomegranate and oatmeal)? Don’t even wait until these cookies cool down, eat them just minutes out of the oven and while the melted chocolate gets all over your hands…well…you know (**wink wink**).

Banana and Nutella S’Mores: You mean Nutella doesn’t qualify as an aphrodisiac? I’m shocked! Well, at least this yummy twist on a campfire tradition includes two known aphrodisiacs, bananas and chocolate.

Chocolate Glazed Chocolate Tart: It just seems like any recipe with “chocolate” contained twice in the name should make it onto this list of our 12 best. On Epicurious.com, this recipe is rated 4-forks with ninety-eight percent saying they’d make it again. Sounds like a winner to me!

QUESTION: What’s your favorite recipe(s) featuring an aphrodisiac food? Add it below in the comments (and if you have the link to the recipe, feel free to include that too!)

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

MARRIAGE MONDAYS Link Up Party: Bloggers, join us here every third Monday of the month for our fabulous link-up party! Join us July 15th for our next Marriage Mondays!

The One Thing You Should Know About Marriage

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A few days ago, I received the following note from Cheryl on our Facebook community page:

“Just wanted to take a minute to thank you for being here. Hubby was unemployed for 17 months. We lost all our retirement savings (we are both close to 60). Went without food, electricity, sold our belongings just to survive.

I had a lot of residual anger over the whole thing that ended up pointed toward my husband because he was the only other person in the house.

My therapist said that I should write a long letter that I don’t send to get all my anger out and I did start the letter. That same day, I ran across your Facebook page.

I realized it would take the same amount of effort to be angry at him as it would to learn to love him again. So I ‘liked’ your page, put the letter in the trash can and started focusing on loving my husband again.

We are still in a bad place financially and might lose the house, but we don’t care. As long as we are together, nothing else matters. Thank you so much for coming along when I needed your help. Angels show up in the most interesting places. Blessings from Kansas.”

I read the note to Keith that morning and his reaction was pretty much the same as mine (albeit, without the added tears that filled my eyes), “That is awesome, Honey!” Then he paused a moment to further ponder what I’d just read.

The Happy Wives Club is doing exactly what we set out to do.

No one gets married hoping one day it’ll fall apart (at least no one I’ve ever met). But life happens and those small things many were once willing to overlook -quirks, idiosyncrasies, imperfections, failures- all of a sudden become the main focus.

A world full of broken, jaded and hardened hearts is a dangerous world to live. A place where broken homes are the majority is a disheartening existence. But you can help change that. You already have.

By remaining positive and optimistic about marriage, sharing your wonderful experiences of love, you’re causing people to look at their own marriages and figure out a way to fix what has become broken rather than turn and run the other way.

You may not realize how many people, like Cheryl, you are encouraging just by having a happy and healthy marriage. You likely have no clue how many you have healed just by being you. But I want to encourage you that it’s more than you think.

The one thing you should know about marriage is how much yours matters. You, my friend, are changing the world. Your loving marriage heals hearts and the homes in which they reside. Keep loving. Keep shining. And never forget how important your marriage is to those around you.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

MARRIAGE MONDAYS Link Up Party: Bloggers, join us here every third Monday of the month for our fabulous link-up party! Join us July 15th for our next Marriage Mondays!

5 Quick & Easy Financial Tips For Couples Getting Out of Debt

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When I wrote the post on my #1 financial tip for couples on a budget on Monday, I didn’t expect such a large reception.

More than 10,000 new visitors stopped by that day to give it a read, and a countless number of visitors couldn’t access it because the large spike in traffic at certain times caused our server to crash ten times. Yes, 10x.

It was then I realized how many couples reading HappyWivesClub.com are in need of help in this area.

Several years ago, my husband and I made some drastic changes to pull ourselves out of debt – as quickly and easily as possible. We now know firsthand the freedom that comes as a result of removing that huge pile of bricks (aka debt) off our shoulders.

There are so lessons we learned throughout that journey and these are our top five:

1. Team up. Getting on the same page could quite possibly be the single most important tip to getting your finances on track as quickly as possible. Strong couples look at debt as a financial challenger (rather than a challenge) and join forces to defeat it.

2. Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. I’m not an affiliate for this program, I’ve never met the author, and gain nothing by endorsing it. The reason I suggest it is it works!

This is the program Keith and I used and it is what helped us get on the same page with our finances immediately.

We followed the author’s step-by-step instructions and pulled out of debt much faster than we ever thought possible. This morning, I found the book on sale for $1.99 (99% off) at Barnes & Noble online.

3. Divide your spending into categories for greater oversight. There are a number of ways to do this. In our household, my husband and I use a monthly allowance system and each takes responsibility for capping certain expenses. You can read here for our exact system.

4. Give. It’s a fascinating thing. When people get in a financial rut, one of the first things they often stop doing is giving. That is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. No matter your religion or faith, giving is a principle that simply works. From books like Rich Dad, Poor Dad to the Millionaire Next Door, business and financial experts all include this as a pivotal ingredient in their recipe for financial success.

5. Make gratitude a part of your daily life. If you’re reading this on a computer or a smart phone, there’s a great likelihood you’re within the top 10% of wealthiest people in the world. Keeping this perspective will help you appreciate what you have and that appreciation opens up the gateways of your mind.

It’s not always about getting another job, or working harder, sometimes the answer rests in allowing our minds to be as free as possible to come up with the solutions we need. And scientists have proven, time and time again, that gratitude and focusing on the positive is one of the fastest ways to achieve success.

If you have 12 minutes to spare (or if not, consider fast forwarding to the 9-minute mark), here’s a video I’ve personally sent to my closest friends and family that explains why this adjustment could very well be the missing variable in your financial health equation.

QUESTION: What other financial tips for couples would you add to this list?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

MARRIAGE MONDAYS Link Up Party: Bloggers, join us here every third Monday of the month for our fabulous link-up party! Join us July 15th for our next Marriage Mondays!

The #1 Financial Tip For Couples on a Budget

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I’ve heard many opinions on this topic and I’ve also heard arguments against why my #1 recommended financial tip doesn’t matter as long as a couple is “responsible.”

Well, for all those who aren’t as responsible with money as you’d like to one day become, here’s something my husband and I began doing years ago when we paid off our debt and we continue to this day.

It has easily become our top financial tip for couples who ask our advice on this topic (well, this and doing your best to spend less than you make ).

Allowances.

My husband and I both have a monthly allowance. Yes, I realize this is something most teenagers have when they’re young and grow out of after graduation.

However, for those who find themselves short on cash month-after-month (maybe even year-after-year), I highly recommend giving this a try.

Here’s how it works in our household:

First, we place all of our income into a joint household account. Household necessities, tithes, charitable contributions, etcetera, all come from this main account.

Secondly, on the first of each month, we write two separate allowance checks; one for Keith and one for me. Years ago, we both determined the amount of funds we’d need monthly for all of our necessities and a bit of “play” money. Of course, when we were working to pull ourselves out of debt, our allowances included very little discretionary funds.

Thirdly, we each take our checks and deposit them into our separate “allowance” bank accounts. These checking accounts have debit cards attached so our individual spending each month comes solely from these accounts.

(NOTE: We determined allowance amounts based on who usually pays for what. For instance, I do the grocery shopping, so that amount is included in my allowance. Keith pays for all date nights, so that amount is included in his allowance.)

Lastly, and possibly most importantly, whatever amount you agree to, stick to it. This ensures a cap on your spending and will help you predetermine the amount of money that will be spent each month.

There have been times when I’ve spent all but the last dime of my allowance several days early and canned chicken became our dinner (not kidding). Do that enough times and you’ll learn how to better control your spending throughout the month. I certainly have.

For decades, money woes have destroyed marriages. In mine, it made us stronger. We looked at debt as a financial challenger (rather than a challenge) and joined forces to defeat it rather than allowing such a vincible foe to weaken our relationship. If finances have ever been a challenge in your marriage, team up and fight against it. What force can defeat your united front? Not a one.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

{Looking for MARRIAGE MONDAYS? We’ll now be hosting it every 3rd Monday of the month. This will allow us time to promote it better and make sure more people are seeing your posts! Join our next link up party July 15th!}