Last weekend, Keith and I attended a wonderful tree trimming event for a friend.  Never mind that I forgot to bring an ornament for the tree (but I digress…)   

While chatting with friends in the kitchen, the husband of a women who’d received an advance copy of my book said something that really made me pause to think.

“What’s so brilliant about your book is you’re focused exclusively on the power of positive thought.  Every interview, if you listen closely to what they’re all saying, it always boiled down to their thoughts,” Barry began.

First, I was absolutely floored that this husband was not only reading the book with his wife but appeared to be enjoying it.  ”Go on,” I prodded him with intrigue.

“Think about the Alchemist,” he began.  I nodded my head as to pretend I was following him.  I knew it was either a book or a movie or both but knew little about it.

“Paulo Coelho, the author of The Alchemist, was known for this quote, ‘You are what you believe yourself to be,” he continued.  

“For so many couples, their focus is on what they don’t have in their marriage instead of what they do have.  The thoughts constantly floating through their minds are about what they lack rather than what they have gained.”  

At this point, he was positively giddy, as if looking forward to bringing home his point.

“‘You are what you believe yourself to be,’ so those who believe themselves to have a mediocre marriage or a less-than-stellar spouse create that reality for themselves.  And those who believe they have a great marriage and the spouse they chose is a wonderful person, that is what they become!”

Ah yes, the power of positive thought in marriage.  You become what you think about most.  Your focus often becomes your reality.

The unhappy husband may look at the pile of dishes in the sink and lament that his wife doesn’t keep the house spic and span.  The happy husband looks at that same pile of dishes and sees it as a reminder that his wife also goes to work each day or that she’s at home raising their beautiful children.

The unhappy wife might look at the dirty clothes her husband left on the floor or the toilet seat he failed to put down and allow that to frustrate her to a place of believing -in the moment- that this is the sum total of his being.  Allowing that to lead her down a path of mumbling, complaining or even worse, initiating an argument about something so trivial.

The happy wife might step over the dirty clothes knowing he’ll get around to them or pick them up herself knowing that only took 3 additional seconds out of her day.  But her thoughts remain squarely focused on the larger things, like how wonderful he is as a man, husband, father, provider.

Although I didn’t mention this explicitly in the book, Barry was spot on.  Every interview I conducted with a happily married couple, in 18 cities on 6 continents, each one had a distinct focus on the positive.  These couples guarded their thoughts daily about one another and their union.

Gratitude was continuously on their lips.  Grace toward one another in their hearts.  And all that is wonderful about marriage and their spouse is what replayed constantly in their mind.

If you want to find out what else I learned during my travels, and through these wonderful couples happily married 25 years of more, you can pre-order Happy Wives Club from Amazon today for 25% off.

Question: Can you think of an instance when changing your thought actually altered the end result?

Until Monday…make it a great day!

Connection.  For every one of us, it reveals itself in many different ways.  

For my twenty-something niece and nephew, the phone is a bit of a nuisance for anything other than taking pictures and interacting on social media or through text.  

Rather than enjoying the moment, they are busy creating the perfect picture to send out.

But for them, that is connection.  That is how they stay in touch; the way they reveal their greatest passions.

In marriage, there are so many ways to connect with your spouse.  

Really, this list could go on for days.  But there are a few that I love to use in my own relationship, and as far as connections go, if the hubby and I were any more connected, we’d be joined at the hip.

Feel free to add to this list using the comment section below.  Would love to hear how you and your husband connect best.  Here are 8 of my favorites.

1. Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About.  Although the great Bonnie Raitt was singing about giving other folks something to talk about in this song, I’m referring to giving your spouse something to talk about?  

What is something your spouse loves to do; something he loves to talk about.  Engage him in that subject and then take joy in hearing his excitement in that particular thing. Especially, if it’s a topic you could ordinarily care less to hear about. Showing your interest builds connection.

2. Give Your Marriage a Healthy Dose of Vitamin F2.  When the fabulous Maggie Reyes at ModernMarried.com introduced us to this new vitamin a few weeks ago, I literally started clapping when reading her post, “Yes, yes, yes!”  Just like our bodies need vitamin A, B, C, D and a ton of others, our marriage needs a daily dose of F2.  What is Vitamin F2 you ask?  It stands for Flirt and fun and there are may, many ways to achieve that. 

3. Disconnect the Cable.  Okay, well maybe you don’t have to turn it off completely but I can’t tell you how much the connection between my husband and I increased after we decided to disconnect the cable box.  For two years, we’ve been without television (with the exception of DVDs and Netflix) and it’s the greatest experiment in connection ever.  And during those occasions when we want to watch a game on TV (I’m a huuuuuge Spurs fan), we’ll make a date out of it and go somewhere showing the game.

4. Surprise Your Spouse for No Reason.  Have you noticed how the smallest thing becomes that much more significant once you offer it as a surprise?  For instance, if I call my husband on my way home and ask him if he’d like me to pick up his favorite dessert, he’s always extremely grateful for my thoughtfulness and will express his pleasure in that.  But if I pick up his favorite dessert and surprise him with it, he’s like a 7-year old on Christmas eve all over again.  There’s just something about those small, sweet surprises.

5. Take a Walk…Even If Only in Your Backyard.  When was the last time you grabbed your spouse by the hand and held it thereon for 30 minutes?  I haven’t researched why holding hands increases connection at such a staggering rate but it’s something about having your palm over another’s that is like having two hearts beat against one another.  There is a lifeblood there that cannot be explained; only felt.

6. Ummmm…Sex, Well Duh.  We don’t talk about sex very much on Happy Wives Club but when we do, that posts gets shared like crazy!  I think there’s a reason for that.  The connection that comes when the two…literally…become one is unlike any other bond.  The key is in enjoying it and if you’re not there yet, stick with us (and read posts like this) because once you truly begin to enjoy it, it’s really like nothing else.

7. Exercise Together.  You might be thinking, “Really, with what time?  I barely have a moment to do 5 sit-ups.”  I hear you!  Been there, experienced that.  Here are a few quick and easy workouts you can do.  But if you can go for a run together, do push-ups together, whatever – just have fun with it.  The great thing about exercising together (even if for only 15 minutes) is you will both release endorphins at the same time and those fabulous “happy hormones,” are pretty fantastic to enjoy with your best friend.

8. Read a book together.  Recently, I ran into actress Meagan Good and her husband DeVon Franklin.  I’d sent them an advance copy of my book and they were talking about how much they were going to enjoy reading it together.  It was actually the first time I’d even thought about how much fun it might be to read with your spouse. The important thing is to get a book you will both enjoy reading.  (For my own little plug here…every man who has read an advance copy of Happy Wives Club has so far loved it because it’s not like any other marriage book.)  

QUESTION: So what other things do you do to connect with your spouse?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day! 

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Thanksgiving is one of my absolute favorite holidays which is why I am so excited right now.  

Turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie for everyone!  

But as is the case in many homes, as soon as Thanksgiving dinner concludes, the planning and decorations for Christmas begin.  And for our Jewish club members, Hanukkuh began earlier tonight. 

Growing up, the holiday season was so disappointing to me.  In part, because for religious reasons we never had a Christmas tree and never received gifts on Christmas.

“It’s Jesus’ birthday, not yours,” was our parent’s rationale.  And although this upset me to no end when I was young, once I became an adult, I realized just how much it had shielded me from the haste and stress of the holiday season.  

So even though the way I celebrate the holidays now is different from my upbringing, there are several things I still do that provides a shelter of calm during what has become, for most, the busiest and most stressful time of the year.

And for most couples, even the happiest most loving ones, the next 35 days can take a huge toll on marriage.  

Since the holiday season has never been a stressful time in our household (something I hope will continue with us throughout our lifetime), I wanted to share a few of the things we do in hopes that you might find something that will also work for you.

I might not be able to help you become completely stress-free but here are 7 ways to create a stress-less marriage during the holidays.

1. Make Your Marriage a Refuge.  During busy times, we have a decision to make.  We can either allow the stress of the world to weigh in on our relationship or we can keep the world at bay and make our marriage a safe haven.  I don’t know if the teenagers still do this but there was a time when they would raise their hand up like a stop sign to anyone they didn’t like and say, “Talk to the hand!”  So let’s follow their example on this and when the stress and busyness of the world attempts to weigh in on your home and marriage, feel free to hold our your arm and tell it to, “Talk to the hand!”

2. K.I.S.S. (Keep It Super Simple).  I love a beautiful Christmas tree and erecting one during this time of year is one of my husband’s greatest joys.  All-white Christmas lights are one of my favorite things to look at during the holiday season.  But I’ll be the first to admit, it’s not because they are always on our house.  Figure out what you have the time and resources to get done this year and create your best holiday ever (minus the stress of trying to keep up with what you’ve done in year’s past).  I’m not 100-percent sure but if I were to guess, this year will be a tree-free Christmas for the Weavers.

3. Divide & Conquer.  A couple weeks ago, I got a new license plate that reads TEAM WVR.  Oftentimes when we are RSVP for events, instead of sending in a reply that “Keith and Fawn Weaver,” we’ll RSVP under Team Weaver.  This is our normal way of life but it’s even more important during the holidays.  Don’t try to take everything on yourself.  Write a list of what needs to get done and then ask your husband to partner with you in tackling every item on that list.  Two are so much better than one.

4. Consider Giving to Those In Need.  ”It is better to give than to receive,” is no cliché.  There are few greater truths in life than this and if you ever want to put your life in perspective, go to your local homeless shelter and serve.  Just for one day. Take the entire family and see if you don’t walk out of there wanting nothing more than to take every present you planned to put under the Christmas tree and give it to someone you had the priviledge of meeting that day.

5. Manage Expectations.  Look at your bank account now.  If you can’t afford to do what it is you want to do or what it is you’ve done in the past, it’s okay.  Just say it.  Telling someone you love that you just can’t afford to get what it is you’d like to get them or to do what it is you’d like to do may be humbling, but when it’s all over you will feel like the weight of the world has rolled off your shoulders.  If from the offset, everyone knows what to expect, the pressure is decreased tremendously and you and your husband can feel great knowing that you’ve done what you can and what you can is more than enough.

6. Exercise Together.  Okay, so this may seem out of place given the first five tips listed but there is truly no better time throughout the year to exercise for two reasons: 1) We usually eat way more than we should, pack on extra poundage and then stress about getting it off; and 2) Endorphins, baby!  One of the best natural stress fighters is released into your body the moment you begin to exercise…and…when you have sex.  That’s precisely why sexercise was invented!

7. Don’t Skimp on the Sex.  Let’s keep those endorphins flowing! Two of the best ways to get them going are exercise and sex.  It’s during stressful times that we tend to forget about basic things like making love regularly.  But this is the time when we need it most.  Not only to release stress and tension but to be joined together as one (in the most literal sense possible ).  And if you need a little more convincing on this one, here are 4 benefits of making love…for you!

Part two of this series will be posted on Friday night and will come to you by way of the fabulous Kim Hall at Too Darn Happy.  Looking forward to reading that one myself.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Years ago, a movie came out called Why Did I Get Married?  The ads indicated there would be plenty of drama but also a redemptive quality to the movie; reminding us all why we got married.

Sitting in the theater, as the movie came an end, the first thing I thought was, “Man, if my marriage were like that, I’d have no idea why I’d gotten married?”  

Thank goodness for us, marriage doesn’t have to be filled to the brim with stress, strife, drama, fussing and fighting.

It can be wonderful, beautiful, transformative, and the greatest partnership in life.

I was reminded of that this weekend as Keith was talking me down off a ledge.  Not literally, of course, but figuratively.  

Last week was tough.  My to-do list seemed never-ending.  Most days began at 4am and went well into the night.  I was exhausted.  I felt defeated.

A lot of amazing and wonderful things also happened throughout the week, but as is often the case for most of us, I was fixated on the one thing that I wanted to see happen that hadn’t yet materialized.  

Isn’t it funny how we can oftentimes miss 20 blessings in search of the one that seems to elude us?

Maybe it’s just me.

Keith challenged my thoughts.  He questioned my wavering faith.  And then he helped me to right my wrong thinking.  I’d lost my focus and it had taken me on a stress-induced roller coaster of emotions.

That wasn’t pretty, I assure you.

But there he was, as he always has been.  Ready to lift me up, wipe my tears, hold me tight, there to encourage me, and to hold a mirror to my face.  You are destined for greatness.  You are already great.  A singular setback doesn’t negate all of your success.  Get it together, my love.

He sat me on his lap, rested my head on his shoulder and prayed.  He prayed that I’d remember we’re not in this alone and it’s okay for me to get some rest.  I’m not a super hero.  He prayed that my faith would be strengthened and that this time would not be remembered by the stress that was felt but by the foundation of greatness that was laid.

Entering one of my favorite times of the year, Thanksgiving week, I thought about his words, his encouragement and our partnership.  My gratitude for not only what he says and what he does, but simply for who he is.  I have no idea where I would be if I didn’t say, I do, ten marvelous years ago.

So if you ask me why I got married, it’s a very simple question for me to answer.  Because I would have been crazy not to.  My life was made a thousand times greater the moment he uttered, “You are my life.  Would you do me the honor of being my wife.”  It was changed instantly and it’ll never be the same.

Marriage is an incalculable gift. One not to be taken for granted.  Something to give thanks for every day.  Not just on Thanksgiving but every day.

So to my husband, Keith Edward Weaver, you are my life.  Thank you for the honor of being your wife.

And to you, I pose the same question I just answered above.  Why did you get married?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Earlier this week, I let the cat out of the bag in our weekly newsletter that Happy Wives Club has gotten behind something really BIG that is about to happen!

We are exactly two months away from National Love Your Husband Day.  Never heard of that holiday?  Well, keep reading…  

Earlier this year, I came across an article about Love Your Wife Day in Japan.  Annually, men line up in a town square, flanked by bouquets of flowers for their wives.

One-by-one, they walk onto a stage and begin professing love for their wives – at the top of their lungs.  Literally.

Initially, when I saw a video on it, I thought, “Why are they yelling like that?  Don’t they know the microphone will project their voice?” 

Whatever the reason, it seemed like each husband had been waiting all year for that one special day to put the love they have for their wife on full display for all of Japan to see.

“We need a national holiday like this for our husbands!” I thought.  ”Minus the time square and yelling thing.”  

So I began investigating.  How can Happy Wives Club sponsor a national holiday?  

I knew there were days like National Peanut Butter Day (January 24th) and National Kissing Day (July 6th), so there had to be a way to create one to publicly shower our husbands with love.

A wonderful friend, who is a former Congressional staffer, began researching what it would take to sponsor a national holiday.  She discovered, there are two ways (one pretty simple, one quite difficult) so we decided to pursue both.

The result: Beginning in 2014, National Love Your Husband Day will become a reality.  So mark your calendars now!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Of course, this doesn’t mean we love on our husbands any less every day of the week.  This is just one day a year to go all out – to do something for him you might not usually do.  And that, my friends, is the reason I sent out the announcement in our newsletter (**you can sign up for it too, by the way**) two months in advance and why I’m now mentioning it here.

After sharing this news with our newsletter subscribers, I received hundreds of emails filled with excitement.  And yes, I read and responded to each one (still responding, actually).  From many of these emails emerged some fantastic ideas for things other women have begun planning to do for their husbands on January 22nd.

Based on those responses, I’ve pulled together 5 creative ideas to help you begin planning for that special day with your man:

1. Give him this free printable or this one (how cool is this?!) that shows you were one of the original sponsors of this holiday.  As a member or supporter of the Happy Wives Club (over 400,000 and counting), you are the only reason this holiday has materialized.  Take pride in that and let him know his love inspired you to be a part of making sure this holiday was created…just for him. (**You only need to join the Club, if you haven’t already, to be one of the original sponsors.)

2. Choose from any of these cheap and creative ‘just because’ gift ideas for him.  Some of these take time and planning but you have two full months before National Love Your Husband Day so you should be in good shape.

3. Call your husband’s job and request the day off.  Now, only do this one if it will not embarrass or upset him.  The husband of a friend of mine did this recently and she was overjoyed.  She was running around planning to get to a meeting with her boss and coworkers and they all told her, “Sorry, you’re not coming.  Go home.  Darryl has plans for you.”  It was such an amazing surprise (it wasn’t her birthday or their anniversary) and from that moment on, her entire office knew exactly how much her husband was in love.

4.Turn your Husband Gratitude List into a beautiful handmade card or have one of your creative friends (or you, if you’re a creative, Etsy, DIY soul) turn it into a beautiful printable that you can frame.

5. If you’re parents, arrange for a babysitter or family to come and take care of the kids. One woman who responded said she began planning the day based on a carpool schedule.  She was arranging a carpool with another mom in advance and as soon as she gets the kids out of the house, this special day with her husband will begin (and, of course, he has no idea).

Rest assured, I’ll be posting tons of ideas for National Love Your Husband Day between now and January 22, 2014.  But make sure you mark your calendar now and let the planning of this special day in our household begin.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

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I cannot believe Thanksgiving is already upon us.  Is it just me or did this year fly by faster than the road runner?  

Like many, Thanksgiving is one of my absolute favorite holidays.

For one, Keith and I are royally spoiled by his mother who prepares a feast for more than 60 people – his side of the family and mine.  

Three rotisserie turkeys (Keith actually makes these), three oven baked turkeys, two homemade carmelized hams, beef brisket – and that’s just the meats.  We won’t even begin to talk about the side dishes and desserts (which last year topped a whopping 20).

My mom-in-love enjoys cooking for Thanksgiving like I enjoy sleeping in the day after.  And although I don’t join her for the cooking festivities, I fully get into the spirit of the holiday – the real meaning of it…gratitude.

If I were to begin a list right now of all the things I’m grateful for from this past year, I would still be writing come this time tomorrow.  

Following a lunch meeting today at this fabulous restaurant in Venice called The Gratitude Cafe, one of the participants said, “Okay, before we leave, we have to answer the question written on all of the plates here.  What are you grateful for?”  

I paused to think for a moment and before I could give my response, Sosie (who was there with her handsome husband and business partner) blurted, “Our husbands!”

Yes, our husbands.

When I think of my husband, and the amazing man he is, I can easily come up with 50 reasons I am grateful for him.  But really, how would that benefit you?  Not to mention, by the time I got to the end of my list, who would believe me anyway?  (Keith is pretty amazing, you know?)

So here’s what I’d love for us to do between now and Thanksgiving.  Each day, take time to write 7 reasons you’re grateful for your husband.  In seven days, you would have written 49 reasons.  Then on the eighth day, Thanksgiving, write one more reason you are grateful for that wonderful man of yours.

Of course, he’s flawed.  Aren’t we all?  But taking the time to focus on all the reasons you have to be grateful, and specifically for him, you’ll be reminded daily of how fortunate you are…to be loved by him.

I’m going to start my list here to get our “grateful juices” flowing.  Then, I trust, you’ll finish this list for yourself:

1. I am grateful to have a teammate in this lifetime.  ”There is no ‘i’ in ‘we’” may be a cliche for some, but for my husband that is his only way of life.

2. I am grateful for his humility.  I learn from him every day.

3. I am grateful for him completely stepping out of his comfort zone and writing this awesome blog post on Monday (his first time ever!): Happy Husbands Club.  

4. Not only did he write that post challenging us all to do one special thing every day this week for our spouse, he did it.  The first day, I went to my car to leave for an appointment only to find that he’d taken it out first thing in the morning and filled up the gas tank.  On the second day, he cleaned our entire place before heading to work.  Today is day three so I can’t wait until he comes home so I can see what today’s “special” thing will be.

5. I am grateful that he chose me.  He’s quite a catch and any woman in the world would have been lucky to have and to hold.  But he chose me…until the end of time.

Take out your pen and pad and let’s get to writing.  And on Thanksgiving when you’re going around the table saying all the things you’re grateful for, you can say a few of the items on the list and then hand him the note (so no one gets mad at you for holding up the meal).

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

I can’t tell you how excited I am to introduce you to our guest writer for today.

By far, my favorite person in the world!  He gives me a healthy dose of Vitamin F2 daily.

There is no person on earth I love more.  There is no person I respect more.  

If you’ve ever met my husband, you know he is a man of few words. 

The last place you’ll ever find him is on social media and this blog has embarrassed him on more occasions than I care to admit (sorry, babe).

He is full of wisdom but never gives unsolicited advice.  And if I hadn’t been asking him for 3 years straight to guest post, it’s pretty unlikely he’d ever offer.

Friends, meet the man, behind the woman, behind the founding of the Happy Wives Club.  I am honored.  I am grateful.  Man o’ man do I adore this man.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

BTW- After creating this image, Keith said, “Honey, did you just make me white?”  This was the best Getty Images photo I could find of a group of men but my honey is far browner (and more handsome).

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So, yes, I exist…  I’m the happy husband!  Being married to the founder of Happy Wives Club, I wanted to write and tell you all of the “secrets” Fawn won’t share!  Okay, not really… I do want to keep our wedded bliss, well, blissful.

That said, I’m breaking my silence with my first ever blog post (or any kind of post for that matter) and sharing my perspective on marriage.

First off, you should know I’m pretty private, so you can well imagine what it’s like when people mention some of the racier posts that have been on the site or what goes through my head when people ask, “When are you starting the Happy Husbands Club?”

And, with respect to social media, I know there’s something called Facebook and apparently people are Twittering or some such thing… Not me, but I do know how to toot!

That said, I suppose being a happy husband is greatly helped when you’ve married an amazing woman as I have. I love my beautiful and talented wife and I will share that all of you have so encouraged and inspired her (as well as me and others), which is why this site is well-visited and why the book materialized.

Speaking of which, if you haven’t already done so, I humbly request that you pre-order the book by following this link HappyWivesClubBook.com. (Pre-orders matter more than anyone ever tells you but trust me, after spending the past several months learning about it, they matter a lot… So thank you.)  

In truth, the “secrets” to great relationships and marriages are extraordinarily simple and we all know them.

The key is in the application and, while I’m certainly imperfect and can cite my failures, I strive to adhere to age-old wisdom that on its face won’t knock your socks off.

We’ve all heard “what you reap is what you sow” or “do unto others…” You get the idea.  Not exactly rocket science, right?  In fact, it’s amazingly simple.

Perhaps the challenge is many presume that because something is simple it’s too easy to be effective.  And, thus, we complicate things a great deal.

For some, as you read this you may even be thinking, It’s not that simple Keith!”  Or he or she does this or that or he or she didn’t do this or that.  I’ll concede that saying “I love you” isn’t a panacea for everything or words and small deeds alone can’t solve every challenge. But I hope you will also concede these ostensibly insignificant things build up and, at a minimum, do help when sustained consistently over time.

So I will leave you with just one challenge assignment (hint, I’m setting a really low bar here so we can all excel!).  And, the rewards will be to your benefit.

The assignment is to do one simple thing for your spouse every day this week.

Seven little things…

It should be something you don’t do typically, something that doesn’t require spending significant money (or any money), and take pleasure in doing it (not because you necessarily like to do whatever “it” is, but because it’s a small gesture to “love on” your spouse).  I’m going to do it as well.  Shhhh, don’t tell Fawn but I’m going to drop off the dry cleaning today!  

I encourage you to share this post with your friends and husband. Let’s take this challenge together.  I’m so confident this will yield benefits to your relationship and am excited to read your reports throughout the week.

Thank you all for supporting marriage and being committed to changing how people look at it around the world. You are all amazing and we -every happy husband alike- are appreciative.  I’m honored for my first, and perhaps only, online post to be here to you.

Sincerely,

Keith aka Husband-In-Chief

P.S. I mentioned this earlier but if you haven’t already pre-ordered the Happy Wives Club book, you should definitely do it.  I don’t say this because she is my wife (although with a bit of bias because she’s amazing), but because it’s a really great read.

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I never give reviews of articles from other sites on Happy Wives Club.  Never, ever.  But over the past week, this blog post has been sent to me by more people than I can even recall.  

Through email, Facebook, Twitter and direct message, this article has beckoned me.

I read the title and immediately determined it was not something I wanted to read.  It seemed negative.  I’d need to come back to that.  

The article began, “Having been married only a year and a half, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn’t for me.”  

Why would I want to read that? I thought.  I couldn’t figure out why anyone who knew what I stood for would forward an article like that.  I closed the browser window, didn’t bother reading it, and returned to work.  

Then another friend sent me the exact same link.  Followed by another friend.  And another.  

My sister posted it on her Facebook page and tagged me in it.  This morning, a week after the article was first written, someone posted it on the Happy Wives Club community page with a note, “I had to share this with you.”  

Finally, I read it.  

Thank you Seth Adam Smith (and to everyone who sent me the article when I was trying my best to ignore it), for this great reminder that marriage is not for you, and it’s certainly not for me.

What I loved most about this post is in a day and age when selfishness is oft times masked as independence and adoring your spouse is deemed weak, this article makes an argument for the opposition.

“My father’s advice ['I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you'] was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today’s ‘Walmart philosophy,’ which is if it doesn’t make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one,” Smith writes.  ”…Selfishness demands, ‘What’s in it for me?,’ while Love asks, ‘What can I give?’”

As I continued reading Smith’s brilliant post, I knew I’d want you (and your husband) to read it too.  I decided to post this brief review here because I don’t want you to miss it.

Remaining optimistic about marriage in today’s society requires a daily intent to do so.  You have to be vigilant about shielding yourself from the negativity out there surrounding marriage.

I get it.  That’s exactly why a post with a title like, Marriage Isn’t For You, was originally dumped in my trash folder.  But I’m so happy many came back to me and said, “Get it out of your email dumpster and read it!”  And now, I’m recommending the exact same thing to you.

The post will only take a few short minutes to read (you can find the original blog post here), but my hope is its words will continue to reverberate throughout your week.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Oh, how I love my weekly day of rest.  I need it like a swan needs water.  It’s not required to live, I can excel without it, but why would I want to?  

Years of experience have taught me I’m so much better with it (and as my hubby would say, “A hot mess” without it).

For the past seventeen years, I’ve made a day of rest a part of my regular routine.  

As a hotel GM, it proved most difficult because there was an expectation that I would be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I drew a line in the sand and made it clear my day of rest was nonnegotiable.  

After some time, I realized it would be nearly impossible to hold fast to this boundary I’d set for myself, so I left the hotel business.  It was that important.

I realized without it, I’m just not as kind of a person.  I’m less patient.  My tolerance for folks who don’t use common sense is…well…nil.  

We, as women, give and give and give.  It’s just how we’re wired.  If we do not take the time to refuel, to renew, to refill our coffers, we will run on empty.  

And a woman running on fumes is not a sight to behold, for sure.  

Early in my marriage, my husband realized the many benefits of a day of rest for me, as well as for him.  He joined me in making this a part of our family tradition and we’ve never looked back.  

No matter how hectic times get for us (and believe you me, they get so hectic at times it’s borderline unbearable), our day of rest is not negotiable.

If you and your husband don’t already take a day each week to slow down, turn off your phones, flip down the laptop and just enjoy each other, allow me to be the one to encourage you.  This is one of the absolute best things you can do for your marriage.  And here’s why.

1. Your available “balance” will increase.  Like a bank account, if you are constantly withdrawing and giving to others, you will be left without anything to give to yourself.  This day of rest gives you time to replenish your account so it is, once again, available for withdrawals without running the risk overdraft fees.

2. Unplugging is good.  We are on information overload every day.  We can barely calm our hearts and minds for an entire 10 seconds (go ahead, try it).  We are not machines, we were not meant to process information nonstop all day.  Taking a day to ourselves, where we keep the world at bay, is one of the smartest things we’ll do every week.

3. Your level of patience and tolerance will increase to your highest levels in years, and you will have the energy to create the life -and marriage- you most desire.  Have you ever responded to someone in a way that caused you to later cringe?  What are the chances you would never have responded that way if you were well rested and full of life?

4. Your energy will be renewed.  Rest for a day and you will undoubtedly feel the difference.  It’s as simple and as difficult as that.

5. You will lose weight.  Okay, I admit, I threw this one in here because I know that’s on the agenda of most women.  But it’s true.  Even if you don’t have time to work out all week long or are so stressed you can’t even think about eating right, you will have at least one day each week to do it right.  One day out of seven isn’t bad.

6. Your marriage will be strengthened.  Setting aside a day each week for ‘me’ time, ‘us’ time and ‘anything that floats your boat’ time will allow you to reconnect.  And which of us couldn’t use a little more one-on-one connecting time with the hubs?

7. You will love better and with a fuller heart.  When you’re exhausted, it’s difficult to love with your whole heart.  You just want to rest.  This solves that problem and allows you to be the beautiful, loving, graceful person you were created to be.

8. You will be happier.  Happiness is a natural byproduct of gratitude.  When you slow your world down for an entire day to live intentionally, gratitude will find its way in and that complaining gene will find its way out.

No matter how hectic our week gets, the one thing my husband and I know is we can make it -together- to our next day of rest.  And when we feel overwhelmed, we look at each other and say, “We can make it.  Just ___ more days to our day of rest.”

Until tomorrow…make it a great week!

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book like none other.  Guaranteed.

We reached out to our partners and told them we wanted to do something over the top special for you.  And look what happened! We’re excited to announce one of the BIGGEST GIVEAWAYS  ever!

We want a spectacular way to say THANK YOU to our fabulous Happy Wives Club community and we can’t think of a better way than this!  

…we’re talking, worth more than $5,000 in prizes kind of big!!  Are you excited out of your mind yet?

GREAT! - we want you to lose your mind, jump up and down on the couch, and pick up the phone to call your best friend because WE are hoping to make one VERY LUCKY couple’s dream come true!! We’ve joined forces with some amazing bloggers in Blog Land to give you an opportunity to win a spectacular WEEKEND away.

INTRODUCING…

Pacific Ocean breezes, services befitting royalty, and beautiful sunsets along the Santa Barbara coast…

IT’S BACARA BABY!!!

I bet you’re asking, “Is that the hideaway resort flanked by celebrities?  The one I just saw pictures of Bill and Giuliana Rancic at last week?!”  Yes, my friend, that’s the one!

DETAILS:

One lucky couple will be flown from anywhere in the Continental U.S. to Los Angeles where they’ll be chauffeured along the beautiful coastline of California to enjoy 4 DAYS AND 3 NIGHTS at the ultra-posh, celebrity favorite, Bacara Resort & Spa in Santa Barbara.  Beware of the paparazzi because with so many celebrities flocking to this Forbes 4-star resort, you’re bound to get caught in the shutters of the elite.  Located along the Gaviota Coast, with spectacular views of the Pacific ocean, your stay at this exclusive resort will undoubtedly give you something to talk about for years to come.

But that’s not all!

From the moment you arrive at Bacara, you will be given 5-star treatment.  The 4-diamond spa will open its doors to you every day, throughout your stay, compliments of us! Aren’t you just dying over this prize??

And we’re still not finished!!

When was the last time you shut the world out and just allowed yourself to be pampered?  You and your guest will receive a FULL-BODY MASSAGE to melt your cares away.  Can’t you taste the chamomile tea and smell the lavender scent already?!  I bet you’re thinking that has to be the entire prize package. We have ONE more trick up our sleeves…

Last, but certainly not least!

You won’t have to fret even for a moment about making any of these plans yourselves. Along with this fabulous trip, complimentary access to this world-renowned spa, and spa treatments, you will be assigned a PERSONAL TRAVEL CONCIERGE who will make all your travel arrangements, coordinate your spa appointments and make sure every moment of your stay is perfect.  Throughout your time in Santa Barbara, your personal travel concierge will only be one call away.

FINE PRINT: Travel for this spa getaway for two must occur between February 2014 and January 2015. Airline and hotel blackout dates may apply.

HOW TO ENTER:

Time to get your “click” on & follow all of the blogs who made this giveaway possible. One word, you guessed it, PINTEREST!!! It’s becoming a common household name & ALL of these talented bloggers have their own Pinterest boards that you should definitely be following!!

JUST THINK OF THE AMAZING THINGS ALL OF THESE BLOGGERS PIN EVERY DAY!!! Sheesh, inspiration overload… at it’s best!!

There are just TWO {2} steps to enter the giveaway…

#1) Click on each image below to view the Pinterest Boards of that site, then click the red “Follow All” button to follow each fabulous website on Pinterest!

#2) And THEN, fill out the form below. Voila, you’re done!!

*This promotion is sponsored and administered by the Happy Wives Club and is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with Pinterest. We hereby release Pinterest of any liability. NBC Universal, iVillage, Coupons.com Incorporated and all its subsidiaries are not administrators of this promotion and thereby are fully indemnified against any action arising from this promotion. This Giveaway will run for one week starting Tuesday, November 5th at 5:00 AM PST and ending Tuesday, November 12th at midnight PST. Once the giveaway ends, winners will be chosen using Random.org and contacted within 24 hours by email. This post will be updated with the winner’s name once we’ve heard back from them. Winners will need to respond within 48 hours to claim their prize or another winner will be chosen. This “Pamper Yourself” contest is open worldwide, except in Puerto Rico and everywhere else where prohibited by law. Winners must be of full legal age in the jurisdiction in which they live. Airfare is provided solely from within the US (international winners must arrange own travel to a state within the Continental US).