One of the things I love most about the New Year is we are given another opportunity to create the life we most desire; our best life.  There is nothing mystical or magical that occurs between 11:59pm on December 31st and 12:01am on January 1st.  But somehow, everything just feels different.  We determine within ourselves (whether through written resolutions or verbal confirmation) to do a few things a little different.

Well, I’d like to challenge you to do something with me for most of the remaining days of January.  They say it takes 21 days to create a new habit and there’s one good habit I’d like to make a part of my inner being.  So I’m kicking off a new challenge for myself beginning this morning (feel free to join me)  and by the end of this month I pray it will have become a permanent habit in my life.

I’ve mentioned this Proverb before but it’s worth repeating: “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.”  I truly believe this.  In every area of our life, we can speak life or we can speak death.  Our positive thoughts and words attract light.  We have all been given the power to change our lives for the better or for the worse.  And what we say, do and believe plays a major role in that change.

So here’s the first half of this daily challenge: Wake up every morning and spend at least 60 seconds saying thanks and listing all the things you are grateful for that day.  You can do this while laying in bed staring at the ceiling, making the bed, while drinking a cup of tea or coffee, eating breakfast, brushing your teeth, etc.  It doesn’t matter when you do it, as long as it’s done in conjunction with the very first thing you do in the morning.

The second half of this daily challenge is to declare (either out loud or internally) that you will focus on everything you have to be grateful for that day and will acknowledge challenges but will not dwell on them.  Your thoughts will remain focused on everything you have to be thankful for in your life.

There are many roads leading to happiness, but all of them, must at some point merge with Gratefulness.  So for the next 21 days, I will make a choice at the beginning of each day to be grateful.  And before this month concludes, my hope is this daily acknowledgment will become a part of the fiber of my being.

If you feel compelled to go on this 21-day challenge too, let me know in the comments section below.  And if you’re already doing a different challenge this month, to kick off the new year, please share that one too (feel free to leave the link).  I’d love to know about all the great challenges out there.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

I’ve never done a Question of the Week and I can’t promise this will become a weekly occurence.  But I’m loving it for this week.  One of our most faithful readers, Paula, made a thought provoking statement in the comments section of yesterday’s blog post.  It caused me to send out the following question on our Facebook and Twitter pages and I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.

Here’s the question: Why is it culturally acceptable (almost universally) to talk about our children’s successes in public but the same is frowned upon when celebrating one’s husband or marriage?

Please leave your thoughts below in the comment section.  I would love to hear them!

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

I just had a thought.  It’s a grand thought.  But a doable one.  When I began HWC in 2010, it was meant to be an antithesis for a world fascinated by divorce, one that seems to be okay with dysfunctional portraits of marriage being portrayed as the norm in nearly every form of media, and has made walking away from a lifetime commitment after just a few months acceptable.

It wasn’t the report by Pew Research or subsequent articles like this one in the Washington Post reminding us of the cost to society when marriages decline.  My purpose was far more simplistic.  It was the disgust I felt in the pit of my stomach every time I watched a television ad for Desperate Housewives or each time Bravo television rolled out another “Real Housewives” series which depicted the poorest of marriages as normal and turned wives into caricatures.

It came from a desire to know the marriage I’ve enjoyed all these years is not extinct.  That it’s not an anomaly.  I wanted to know I wasn’t the only one who didn’t feel like marriage was supposed to be difficult; a daily grind.  I hoped there were other women who loved marriage as much as I did and adored their husbands as much as I still do.

But yesterday morning, on the first day of the new year, I had a thought.  I shared it with Keith.  What if, in every corner of the world, there were women like me?  Women who were proud of their marriage and didn’t boast or brag about it to others but simply didn’t hide it.  In conversations when other women were male bashing, rather than shrinking back and remaining silent, spoke up about the beauty of men and the blessings of our differences.

What if one million women, around the world, decided they were going to change the conversation within their inner circles?  They wouldn’t disregard the challenges many of their girlfriends are having but would simply take the time to show the other side.  The good stuff.

I believe in the power of words.  I believe if you wake up in the morning and say you are going to have an extraordinary day, it happens.  I believe when you not only set a goal but are determined to achieve it and will not allow your mind or words to say otherwise, you will succeed.  I believe a man is exactly as he thinketh.

I’ve watched it happen right before my eyes.  Girlfriends who have loathed their marriage and had nothing positive to say about their husbands, decide to do nothing different but focus on the good.  When speaking to their girlfriends and family, they’d only share the good stuff.  I bet you can guess what happened over time.

They began to experience more of the “good stuff” until that’s almost all there was remaining.  Of course, they still have some ups and downs, but that is a natural part of life.  Every aspect of life.  But they’ve changed the most important relationship in the world, they’ve increased the bond with their partner for life, their husband.

Just one simple change: their mindset.  And with one simple adjustment: their words.  They’ve completely changed their marriage.  Every bit of it.  Can you imagine what would happen if our Club grew to 1,000,000 members who all changed the mindset of just one friend?  Who through sharing their own experience in marriage, were able to convince one friend to focus on the good?  To get them to do something I once heard said, “Write a list of ways that you have benefited from being married to your spouse. Then write a list of your spouses positive patterns and qualities. Keep adding to the lists and reread them frequently.”

In doing this, we will be changing the conversations of at least one million more women who will change the conversations of another million women and the conversations changed will be endless.  And then the stats we’ve heard for the past 25 years, some of which are quoted below, can also change.  Not just in the US, where these quotes originated, but around the globe:

—————————————————————————-

- “The effects of the decline of marriage on society are striking. The failure of parents to marry and stay married leads to more crime, poverty, mental health problems, welfare dependency, failed schools, blighted neighborhoods, bloated prisons, and higher rates of single parenting and divorce in the next generation. Nearly every major social problem has deep roots in the failure of adults to form and sustain healthy marriages.” -Bill Doherty, 2006

- “You need only do three things in this country to avoid poverty – finish high school,
marry before having a child, and marry after the age of 20. Only 8 percent of the families
who do this are poor; 79 percent of those who fail to do this are poor.” -William Galston, White House Administration

- “The collapse of marriage is the principal cause of child poverty in the United States. . . Overall, some 80% of long-term child poverty in the United States is found among children from broken or never-formed families.” -Robert Rector, 2003

- “The United States Administration for Children and Families (ACF) spends $46 billion per year operating 65 different social programs. If one goes down the list of these programs… the need for each is either created or exacerbated by the breakup of families and marriages.” -Wade Horn, 2004

————————————————————————–

As Diane Sollee, founder of Smart Marriages once said, “They say it takes a village to raise a child. That may be the case, but the truth is that it takes a lot of solid, stable marriages to create a village.”

Together, let’s change the conversation.  I’m in!  We may not get to 1,000,000 wives in 2012, but with the current ongoing trend of 150-300 new women joining this Club daily, we’ll get there.  And with you continuing to spread the word, we’ll get there even faster.

So here’s my question for you: Are you in?  Will you help us change the conversation about marriage around the world?

Until tomorrow, my friends…make it a great day!

This has been a fantastic year for HWC! Earlier this week, one of my blog friends, Paula, listed her top 10 most popular blog posts of 2011.  I loved it, so I decided to borrow the idea.  The only difference is all the blog posts on this list were written within the final quarter of the year. The reason for this is the daily blog section of HWC wasn’t added until October (an exciting addition for us).  Before that time, it was an article-driven site and I only posted 1-2 articles per month.

Without further ado, here are the 10 most popular blog posts for 2011:

#10: God Bless That Man! - Ah, the adventures of learning how to cook.  My first experience with cooking for my husband took three trips to the grocery store, a mad search for a vegetable called prosciutto (I know, it’s meat…but I didn’t know that then) and a day that ended with a wonderful lamb & feta cheese lasagna but caused me to avoid the kitchen for the next 8 years. 

#9: Poem for My Husband - Excerpt from post: Marriage is what we make of it.  Our thoughts and words dictate so much of our life, (“As a man thinketh…”), and when we know that and begin to speak positive words about our marriage, life and husband, we find that what we have spoken turns out to be exactly what we have lived.

#8: I Missed! - This is one of my personal favorites because it was a huge lesson I learned in 2011.  Until this time, I thought I knew Keith’s “love language” and had been loving him based on that presumption.  It wasn’t until recently that I learned I was loving him the way I’d most like to be loved and it was time I learned how to speak his language…fluently.

#7: Simple Acronym for Marriage - Excerpt: In marriage, there is an acronym I’ve found to be the most effective in helping a couple grow in love, become more patient with each other and remove common frustrations within most relationships.  A.E.O.D: Accept Each Other’s Differences 

#6: How This Club Came to Be - Excerpt: [Keith] was laughing so hard, mainly because the thought was completely random and seemingly came out of nowhere.  He reasoned, not only was the name of the Club incredibly corny, but I also had a jam packed work schedule that barely allowed time to enjoy something as simple as a frozen yogurt.  Touché..

#5: Top 10 Marriage Blog of 2011 - Press Release: Stupendous Marriage, the online authority for marriage blog rankings, has released their 2011 list as voted by their readers. Nearly 2,000 readers cast their votes for the Top 10 Marriage Blogs on the web. Happy Wives Club claimed the #2 spot.

#4: Project Happily Ever After - Excerpt: There are certain things we have determined to do – intentionally – every day.  So in writing this post, I thought about things my husband, Keith, and I do daily. Without fail.  To continue on our path to Happily Ever After.  And here’s our Top 5. 

#3: Making Marriage a Priority – 5 simple ways to let your hubby know he’s priority #1 no matter how busy you may be.  Excerpt: One of the questions I’ve seen come up most over the past couple weeks, as the Christmas season has kicked into high gear, is how to keep one’s marriage and relationship a priority during the busiest time of the year.  It’s tough.  I can relate.

#2: What Are You Thankful For? - Although this post wasn’t tough to write, I certainly wondered if I was revealing too much.  I am an open book when it comes to my marriage which can be tricky at times because Keith is such a private person.  He loves this Club and loves the reason it was founded so he allows me to share alot more than he’d otherwise be comfortable revealing.  In this blog post I talk about our inability to conceive and what we’ve gained from this experience.

#1: Don’t Blink - My personal favorite blog post this year.  It’s the story of how and why I went from Los Angeles to Las Vegas and back in a matter of a few hours and why I was dancing in the car like a madwoman at 4am trying to stay awake.  I love this post…but then again, I’m definitely biased.

Thank you for visiting Happy Wives Club this year.  I truly appreciate each and every one of you and hope we’ve inspired you as much as you’ve inspired us.  This will be my final blog post for 2011.  I plan to take the next few days off to simply enjoy time with my hubby but look forward to chatting with January 2nd.

Happy New Year and as always…make it a great day! 

Yesterday, I celebrated eight wonderful years of marriage to my best friend, lover, chief encourager and husband.  Every day I’ve awoken since 2003, he’s inspired me to be a better friend, person and wife.  He’s accepted me just as I am, with my innumerous flaws and quirks, and never insisted I change or get better but rather simply inspires me by his unconditional love.

For those who’ve noticed I’ve not blogged much over the past week, please forgive me.  The last week of December around the Weaver household is always jam packed.  My husband is a Christmas eve baby (this year we celebrated his 40th bday), we then celebrate Christmas with family, our wedding anniversary is the 27th and then just a few days later we celebrate New Year’s eve.  That’s four holidays in just one week.  Whew!

So if you’ve been looking for my normal daily postings, I promise I’ll get back to that right after the New Year.  But something tells me we’re all so busy during this time of year, it’s possible few have noticed.

A couple days ago, Keith and I took our favorite 7-year old (our niece, Jayla) ice skating, and I wasAlthough I’m nearly 30 years her senior she teaches me so much. reminded of how amazed I am that I get the opportunity to inspire people daily through this Club.  I’d not been on the ice in at least 20 years so I wasn’t sure if I’d even remember how to stay upright.  Jayla had gone ice skating a few weeks prior for a friend’s birthday party so she was feeling pretty confident.  That was, until we hit the ice.

The first 10 or so times around the ice, I was watching others who skated slightly better than us (most people were wobbling around trying to figure out how to skate and many kept finding themselves sliding across the ice on their buttocks).  After watching the moves of those managing to stay on their feet, I felt myself becoming more and more comfortable.  Enough so, that I stopped gripping the outer ice rink wall with my right hand.

Jayla, on the other hand, was still getting the hang of it.  She asked that I hold her hand and we’d just skate together until she became comfortable.  Around the 10th or 11th lap around the rink, she was ready to let go of my hand and skate on her own.  But she wanted me to stay close by just in case she fell.

Near the 17th or 18th lap around the rink, she was feeling good and no longer needed me to stand watch.  As I skated 6 or 7 feet behind her, I saw her begin going up to others who were struggling to skate asking them, “Would you like me to help you skate?”  This was a 7-year old who’d just remembered how to skate herself, and she was now offering her help to kids twice her age.

At one point, as she began to feel more confident, she saw a few people take a tumble on the ice andJayla on her own with Auntie Fawn well into the backdrop. commented, “I don’t think many of these people know how to skate.  They just keep falling.”  Watching as her confidence increased so quickly made me chuckle a bit inside.  She was offering to help while she was still learning herself.

I immediately began thinking about this Club.  I’m a marriage advocate, not a counselor.  I distnguish the two greatly because a marriage advocate inspires and encourages, a counselor counsels.  I am inspired by this Club as much as I hope to inspire.  Many of the things I do daily in my marriage I’ve learned from members of this Club.

Each and every day, you inspire me.  You encourage me to be the best wife I can be to my husband and you inspire me to love without limits.  My goal is to encourage you to inspire others through your love for marriage and your husband.  When you’re sitting among a group of women who begin husband-bashing, my hope is it will be your voice that rises above that situation and turns the discussion positive.  It only takes one person to completely change the course of a converstion. 

So today, as I’m thinking of the past 8 years with my husband, the ice skating excursion with my niece, and this Club, I am incredibly grateful for all three.  You have taught me so much.  Not that your intention was to teach, but my objective was to learn and thus the two go hand-in-hand.  So thank you for inspiring me as I hope to inspire you.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

It’s Christmas morning and I don’t know that anyone will read this blog today other than me so I’ll keep it short.  Yesterday, we celebrated Keith’s 40th birthday and today I woke up so grateful for all that has happened in our lives in the past year.

I didn’t grow up exchanging presents at Christmas time and we’ve continued that tradition in our own family.  But I did grow up being reminded every Christmas of why we are here and how love should precede and dictate every action in our life.

Love is the precise reason this Club was founded and why I continue to make the time to blog no matter how hectic my schedule gets.  This is a place for each of you to share your thoughts, hopes, and love for your husbands.  There are few places where we can feel safe to simply speak kindly and excitedly about love, marriage and our hubbies.  

Know that this will always be a safe place to do that.  So go ahead, brag about the love you have, the wonderful husband you’ve been blessed with and your lovely marriage.  We enjoy hearing about it so brag on, my friend, brag on.  Most of us do this on the Happy Wives Club Facebook page so feel free to join us there, as well.

Question: What do you like to do each year on December 25th?  What are your family traditions?

With love on this beautiful day,

P.S. Here are some pics from the past couple days.  Christmas in Los Angeles sure looks different than most places in the US.

Standing in my driveway this morning, this is what it looked like: Clear blue skies, sunny, and our country flag just waiting for a little wind to blow so it can wave to all those who pass by.

Seizing the moment to relax.  Sipping homemade apple cider while feeling the flames of this fire and typing on my computer.  This is a beautiful Christmas morning.

This is a photo my sister’s friend took from his office, 15 minutes from our home, two days ago.

Earlier this week, Keith and I had the pleasure of attending our first Tuesday wedding.  Have you ever been to a mid-week wedding?  It was our first and we had an absolute blast (they even had cotton candy at the dessert bar).  

The bride is the daughter of a Happy Wives Club member I met last year when interviewing her for the Sage Wisdom column of this site (see interview here).  We discovered we lived only minutes from each other and instantly knew we were kindred spirits.  Our families have since become wonderful friends and we couldn’t have been more delighted to support this beautiful bride and her handsome husband at the start of their new journey.  

After returning from the wedding, I posted on our Facebook fan page and on Twitter the following question, “I attended a fantastic wedding last night. If given the opportunity to give your best piece of advice to a woman on her wedding day, summed up into one sentence or phrase, what would it be?”  

There were so many wonderful answers I wanted to share a few of them with you:

1. “Complete honesty, trust, respect and support by both of you.” -Paula Swanson

2. “Never let the sun go down on your anger.” -Janette Smith

3. “Never disrespect your husband. Never put him down to anyone, especially your children. Build him up and appreciate him.” -Eve Aguilar McNamee

4. “Remember that just because you CAN say something, doesn’t mean you should, and be generous with one another always in all ways.” -Barbara Brooks O’Rourke 

5. “You don’t have to be right. You can’t take back what comes out of your mouth, so guard your mouth. He will NEVER be perfect, it’s impossible, and neither can you, so don’t expect him to be.”-Annett Davis

6. “Don’t strive to be right all the time, because you can easily be right…by yourself.” -Twitter @KVuli

7. “Communication is key. Talking will save you from a lot of misunderstandings. Cold shoulders dont work!” -Twitter @TendayiKunaka

8. “You know each other aren’t perfect, but you are perfect for each other!! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!” -Heather Robinson

9. “Be grateful for everything your man does for you, and let go the things he doesn’t.  Great happiness can come from enjoying the blessings you get! And great sorrow comes from dwelling on the things you didn’t get.  Just enjoy every moment you have with him!” -Ginger McKinley

10. “Keep the fire burning. If you get distracted for too long there is always something to put out the flames.” - Kasey

Question: Which of the responses above were your favorite?  And if given the opportunity to give your best piece of advice to a woman on her wedding day, summed up into one sentence or phrase, what would it be?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

I wrote this poem for my husband, Keith, a few months before we were married.  We will be celebrating 8 years of marriage in just a few days so as I look back at these words, I am reminded of how wonderful he was and how amazing he still is today.

Marriage is what we make of it.  Our thoughts and words dictate so much of our life, (“As a man thinketh…”), and when we know that and begin to speak positive words about our marriage, life and husband, we find that what we have spoken turns out to be exactly what we have lived.  

Our words and thoughts have more power than we give credit.  That’s why this Club was founded.  To change the conversation surrounding marriage from negative to positive.  Keith and I determined from day one we would have a wonderful marriage.  And we’ve lived exactly what we believed (and continue to believe).  Our marriage has been just as we prayed it would be.

Still
Leaves in the fall
Winds that have ceased
Rain that cries no more
Snow on a mountain
Dew covered grass
Water in a vase
An orchid in full bloom
Morning rays of sunlight
Painted colors of a sunset
A butterfly in her cocoon
A swan in the lake
Two lovers dancing in the night
A million stars without form
A little boy resting
A little girl praying
The eye of the storm
Wherever you are
Wherever you will be
My still point in a turning world

In the eye of the storm there is always calm. A happy marriage doesn’t mean you won’t face challenges. It means when the tough times arise, you determine to take refuge in each other – in the center of it all – where you can bond, find peace, and overcome adversity…together.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

One of the questions I’ve seen come up most over the past couple weeks, as the Christmas season has kicked into high gear, is how to keep one’s marriage and relationship a priority during the busiest time of the year.  It’s tough.  I can relate.

Keith’s workload recently has been off the charts.  There is not enough time in his day to get everything done.  I’ve mentioned before that our way of ending each day is to ask two questions, “What was your high?  What was your low?”  This allows us to gain insight into how we perceived our workday that just concluded.  On Tuesday night, I asked these questions as usual but for the first time, he couldn’t think of a high.  Not that there weren’t any, he was just too exhausted to think.

So Wednesday I decided to carve as much time out of my day as possible to do some special things for him.  Simple things I knew would mean alot to him.  I was feeling really good about myself and what I’d done that day for my hubby.  That was until I was stopped dead in my tracks.  I realized the reason these things were so “special” was because it had been so long since I’d done them.  I’d somehow allowed the busyness of life to compete with our relationship.

So I write this to you (and myself) as a reminder to keep your (my) marriage first and foremost even through this holiday season.  There are little ways you (I) can do this and many I’ve already begun and encourage you to do the same.  None of the items on this brief list will take much time to complete but will make a world of difference in letting your husband know he is priority #1 no matter how busy you both may be:

1. Make a concerted effort to speak your husband’s love language…fluently.  If you don’t know what that means, definitely read my blog post from earlier this week: I Missed!  If you aren’t sure what your husband’s love language is then definitely have him take this online assessment test (it will only take a couple minutes and it’s free).  Knowing his love language will allow you to relate to him on the deepest and most meaningful level possible…for him.

2. Send him off for the day with a word of encouragement.  Even if you leave for work first in the morning, make sure to slow down that moment before heading out the door long enough to pause and leave your hubby with an encouraging word.  Because of our spiritual connection, the most encouraging thing I can say to Keith as he’s walking out the door is, “Honey, I’m going to begin praying for your day the moment I close this door.”  I give him a kiss, tell him “Knock em’ dead,” close the door behind him, and then I pray for his day.  It means the world to him to know I am praying for him and that God always answers my prayers.

3. Greet him with an engaged kiss when he returns from work or when you return (if you get home later).  The reason I use the term “engaged kiss” is more recently I found myself continuing to work once Keith got home (I work from home) and so he’d come in and I’d barely look up from the computer.  I’d greet him with a kiss, but he’d have to come to me because I was too busy typing.  Close the laptop, push back from the computer, get up and wrap your arms around him and welcome him home.  I know, I get it, you’re busy.  Me too.  But this is so important and will only take a couple minutes.

4. Learn the art of the quickie.  Yep!  You read that right.  I don’t talk too much about sex on here because I leave that to the experts (which I’m certainly not).  But this much I know, making love keeps us connected.  There is a special bond that happens when two people literally become one, fully connected.  I won’t say much more as we’ll definitely be going into more graphic territory than I’d like.  BUT, there is a book I LOVE called Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman, and he goes into detail about the psychology of a man and why quickies can be just as important as passionate, love making sessions.  It amp’d up our sex life years ago and I highly recommend it.  But for now, until you have time to read it, just know a ‘quickie’ is much ado about something and it’s worth your while during this busy season.

5. And last but not least, check in with him at the end of each day.  Don’t let a day pass where you don’t at least have some insight into his day.  A great way to do this are the two questions I mentioned earlier, “What was your high?  What was your low?”  I’ve found these two questions to be far more effective than, “How was your day?”  The latter can be easily answered by any number of one-worded answers: fine, good, okay, etc.  But these two questions, when answered, will let you know how you can best comfort him at the end of his day.  Do you celebrate with him or do you console him?

If you add up the time it will take you to complete all of the five things listed above, we’re talking about less than an hour, and realistically, they’re broken up into increments of 15-20 minutes each.  You can find an hour spread out throughout your day.  I know you don’t think you can because there’s so much on your plate.  But think of it this way, when the holidays are over, do you want your relationship with your husband to be stronger or weaker?  If your answer is the former, make the time, find the hour.  You can do it.

QUESTION: If you could add one thing to this list, what would it be?  What one thing do you do to ensure your marriage remains a priority during busy times?  Please share your thoughts with us below.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

One of the things I love most about this Club is the unlimited amount of resources we have in learning how to build a marriage to last a lifetime.  We are a group of every day women, who adore our husbands, love being married, and don’t mind sharing what we’ve learned with each other.  

Every day, as I chat with hundreds of Happy Wives on our Facebook page, I am reminded of how important it is to be surrounded by likeminded people.  I always end my day inspired to love my husband better, respect him more and make my relationship a priority above all else.  I continue to learn so much from the wonderful members of this Club.

If you’ve visited this site before, I hope you’ve stumbled upon the section on the left-hand side entitled, “Quick Tips.”  This section contains bite sized “tips” from some of our members.  And if you’re a Happy Wife and have a “Quick Tip” to share, we’d love to hear it.  Just click here.

So today, rather than writing on a new topic, I thought I’d share some of this wonderful tips with you.  Here are just a few of my favorites:

“Respect.  Friendship.  Listen to him.  Give in when it doesn’t really matter but most of all…love.  These are the things that make a good marriage.  We’ve been married for 64 years and our love just gets deeper as we spend more time together.” ~ Beverly Winthers, Married 64 Years

“Wake up in the morning, and count your blessings.  Give thanks to God for the wonderful life you share with your beautiful man.  Tell him you love in, and then get up and start your day with a smile on your face and love in your heart..It’s worked for me…we’ll be outrageously happily married for 65 years in July.” ~Bette Frankel, Married 64 Years

“Listen to your husband when he talks, really listen, consider his advice, value it as good advice rather than considering it equal to others advice. Don’t be quick to discount it. Honor him in this way – you’d be amazed what you’ll learn from him, how he will feel respected and demonstrate his appreciation to you in ways that benefit you both! He longs to be respected, admired, and honored – it has made a difference in our marriage in the past 6 years since I learned this tip (married happily for 35 years and counting)!” ~ Denise Rounds, Married 35 Years

“A good sense of humor, my husband tells everyone that I married him because he makes me laugh, and that is probably true. You cannot stay angry when you are laughing! It’s true laughter is the best medicine, and of course, never ever go to bed angry. A sign over my daughters bed says “always kiss me goodnight”…and we always say I love you!” ~ J. Smith, Married 28 Years

“Laugh!  A home with laughter is a wonderful place to be.  Do not take life too seriously it is too short to not enjoy.” ~ Sharon Paige, Married 21 Years

“Always an “I Love You” and a kiss good-by, give a touch or a hug, stay connected physically and emotionally.” ~ K. Schatz, Married 18 Years

“Make it a rule to always greet your man with a kiss or a hug. If you are just going next door, to the market, or to a week-long seminar, make sure you give him some love in this manner, too. If you forget, give him a kiss or hug as soon as you remember! This has worked for us for over 17 years.” ~ June Summers, Married 17 Years

“Always focus on the positive about your husband, especially when you’re not feeling the most positive. I keep a list (used to be a physical written list, now just mental) of his best qualities – those personality traits that will not change and endear me to him. When I ever become tempted to criticize or think negatively of my man, I pull out the list and focus on those things until my negative emotions subside.” ~ Tricia Opdahl, Married 13 Years

“Contrary to popular belief, marriage is not 50/50.  It’s 100/100.  If you all give 100% you will be successful.” ~ Danielle Keys, Married 11 Years

“Make your husband #1. It is easy to get caught up in everything else in life. Your friend’s problems, you childrens issues, the dog, the bills, the state of the economy. Just remember that your man is the one who will be there for you and is not only your husband and lover and best friend but he is the one that you can always depend on. So make him #1.” ~ Patricia Donnellan, Married 10 Years

“My grandparents just celebrated their 62 anniversary. WOW right. I asked her what her secret was. She said “God, the ability to ignore and love at the same time and always forgive.” All I can say is, it has worked for them for 62 years, 5 kids, 12 grandkids, and 31 greatgrandkids. It is worth a shot.” ~ M. Rose, Married 8 Years

QUESTION: What’s the single best piece of marriage advice you’ve ever received?  Please leave a comment below and let us know.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

This funny scene from Daddy Day Care (the first movie Keith and I saw together while dating ) was the first thing that came to mind the other night after Keith and I took the Love Language assessment test based on the book, The 5 Love Languages, by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Although this book has been #1 on the New York Times Bestsellers List for more weeks over the past few years than I can count, for some reason, I never felt compelled to purchase it.  Maybe I thought it was a bunch of hype because it was so popular.

That was until a week ago when I asked the readers of this Club to share the one book that has influenced your marriage the most and nearly 90% of you stated this book.  That was all I needed to convince me this book should make its way onto my bookshelf (after being read, of course).  But before the book arrived, I decided it would be fun for Keith and I to take the online assessment test.

Previously, we’d self diagnosed our love languages based on a synopsis of the book.  We determined we both spoke the same love language, Physical Touch.  And if you read my blog post from Friday, you know I diagnosed myself pretty well because on a scale of 0-to-12, I was an 11 in this category.  Unfortunately, my diagnosing of Keith’s love language wasn’t nearly as precise.

He and I both guessed his love language was also physical touch.  And really, for what man is it not?  Or so I thought…  Imagine my surprise when he took the test and on a scale of 0-to-12 his score for Physical Touch was an 5.  His love language is: Words of Affirmation.

How could I have missed that?  For 8 1/2 years I’ve missed this.  It was actually quite plain to see.  At least once a week when I’d say, “I love you,” he’d follow that up with, “Why?”  I always shrugged off that question because I’d answered it so many times it seemed silly.  But now I understand.  Answering the “why” was giving him the words of affirmation he so desired.  He may not have known how to express his need or desire, but he knew to ask, “Why?”

That’s why this video came to mind when I learned of his Love Language.  I Missed!  And I mean big time.  All over the wall and on the ceiling like the little boy in this movie scene.  So the last few days I’ve been taking more time to affirm him with my words.  To not only tell him how much I love him, but why I love him.  It’s not good enough to tell him that I appreciate him.  I need to articulate why.

I may have missed in this area before…but not anymore.  I’m making it my mission to learn my husband’s love language better.  And to speak it fluently.

What about you?  Do you know your love language?  What about your husband’s? If you don’t, I can’t encourage you enough to take the assessment test.  It’s free and it may give you additonal insight into the mind of your husband (and really, don’t we all need that, at least a little bit). 

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

P.S. Your comments are always welcome.  I love continuing the conversation long after I’ve posted the day’s topic.  Thanks!

On the right-hand side of this page, you’ll see a sidebar titled “Where Our Members Live.”  I do my best to update this the moment I see a new Happy Wife join this club from a country not previously listed.  Imagine my surprise (and delight) when I woke up this morning and needed to add 20 new countries.  Yep, you read that right, TWENTY.

One of the things I love most about this Club is it stretches across the Atlantic, Pacific, Indian and Southern Oceans (we’re still working on finding members in Antarctica ) and encompasses so many different cultures with so many differences but joined together by one common thread: our love.

What makes each of us happy and what causes us to be delighted in our husbands and families may vary greatly, but what is the same is we know what feels right to us.  We know what love feels like to us.  

Each of us knows what makes us happy.  If you visited our home for a week, you’d probably be bored out of your mind!  Although Keith and I love to have fun and we spend more time laughing than probably anything else (he just cracks me up), we’re pretty simple people.  

I remember once being courted by an executive producer to be a part of a reality show.  Keith and I laughed so hard at the thought of it because half the time we’re just snuggled on the couch talking to each other.  We’re boring!  The cameramen would absolutely fall asleep or start playing Angry Birds on their iPhones.

Needless to say, our lives would probably not work for most of you. But it works perfectly for us.  Likewise, two of our closest friends have one of the most wonderful and loving marriages we know.  They’re also the most adventurous people we know.  Prior to having children, they’d regularly go backpacking throughout the world.  No hotel reservations.  No plans.  Just an airline ticket and two backpacks. They even did that throughout Germany during World Cup.  Can you imagine?  But that is what makes them happy.  Keith and I would absolutely lose our minds if we attempted to follow their path to happiness and they’d lose theirs if they attempted to follow ours.

We’re all so different.  But alike.  We’re similar in that the pursuit of happiness is our birthright and we’ve chosen to take advantage of it.  So to all the new members of this Club: Welcome! Bienvenue! 歡迎! Willkommen! Benvenuto! 반갑습니다! Seja bem-vindo(a)! Bienvenido!  We hope you’ll find great resources on here to not only strengthen your marriage but to enjoy it more and more each day. 

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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