A former colleague of mine, Elicia, moved to London a little more than 4 years ago.  She’d fallen in love with a handsome and dapper young British man, Carl, and after 5 years of dating, they’d decided to make it official.  

When Keith and I joined them for dinner in London (on my trip around the world in search of the secret to a happy marriage), we wanted to know all the details of their engagement, the wedding plans and we asked them to spare no details. 

They will be married at the end of this summer on the Amalfi Coast.  Carl hasn’t seen the wedding dress but Elicia proudly showed me pictures on her iPhone and shared the story of how she chose an American designer by happenstance and so she’d just received the dress in the mail from the US.  It’s gorgeous.

We learned about Carl’s meticulously planned proposal.  Last December, on Elicia’s birthday, he gave her a gift and a clue for a future “surprise.”  Every week for the next 6 months, Carl gave her a new clue – 26 in total.  The only caveat is she could not get a new clue until she figured out the one most recently given. 

In June, she guessed the second-to-final clue so the time had come.  Carl gave her a handmade note early one morning that said, “Let’s go!”  And with that, he told her she had 1 hour to quickly pack to be gone for 4 or 7 days (days 5-7, she’d later learned, were contingent upon what would happen on day 4). 

At the airport, Carl spoke with the female ticket agent and explained what he was trying to do, and because most women are romantics, she defied security protocol and allowed him to take Elicia to the plane without her being aware of where they were going.  A few hours later, they arrived in Naples.  

On the 4th [and possibly final] day, Carl suggested they drive up the coast to Capri.  It was here, overlooking the azure waters below, that he popped the question on bended knee.  And because he’d planned this day down to the most minute detail, he also captured the proposal on videotape.

All this talk about Carl’s proposal made me think about all the work and effort Keith put into his proposal to me.  And then I wondered how many people put the same amount of time, energy, meticulous planning and effort into creating a marriage that will stand the test of time. 

Question: Before you were married, did you spend more time planning the wedding or planning for a happy and successful marriage?  Did you prepare for what you would do after you said ‘I do’? 

If you’re happily married and haven’t taken the time to join the Club, make sure to join us today.  It takes only seconds and, of course, it’s completely free.  Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Comments: With more than 45,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook

I can’t believe how quickly time has flown.  For the past six weeks, I’ve enjoyed sharing with you what I’ve learned from so many amazing couples I’ve interviewed around the world.  But for today, I need to do something a little different. 

Right now, at this very moment, I miss husband so much I can hardly think of much else.  So please forgive me for today as my heart’s desire is to write, not to each of you, but rather to the one person who makes my heart skip a bit with just the sound of his voice.

My Love,

I say these three words so often, I hope you never cease to truly hear them: I love you.  You are my love, my life and my rock.  You are my best friend.  No one on this earth can or will ever compare.

You are the best part of me.  Have I told you that?  What I love most about myself, I see through a reflection in you.  My shortcomings, my weaknesses, my setbacks, all seem so minimal because you make them so.  When I make a mistake and am my toughest critic, you wrap your arms around me and whisper, “You were never meant to be perfect.”  You love me, flaws and all.

God placed you on this earth -I am certain of this- to teach me so much.  Patience.  Kindness.  Gentleness.  Unconditional love.  Putting others above yourself.  Giving, expecting nothing in return.  You are the essence of grace.

When I return from this trip, there is nothing I want more than to be held in your arms until the end of time.  I’m grateful for the time spent on this voyage, as difficult as it has been to be away from you, because I’ve learned so much; how to be a better wife, a more loving and considerate person, how this life has been made so beautiful with you by my side.

I cannot wait to see you, to hold you, to caress you.  To see your smile at this moment, would make me so happy.  But I know I must wait, just a little while longer, until my plane makes its way through two more countries before returning to Los Angeles.  It’s there that this journey will truly be complete.  Because I will be back where I belong.  Home.

I love you.

The Mrs.

I’ll be back next week with more of the great lessons I’ve learned on this trip thus far.  The one I’m excited to share with you on Monday came not from an interview conducted, but rather from a book I picked up at a local bookstore in Rome.  I hope you’ll join me then.  Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

I do regular check-ins with myself on my level of happiness, contentment, fulfilled purpose, etcetera.  I do this because as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found slight changes along the way in what I desire from life.  My goals shift, what is most appealing to me sometimes changes; life overall.  

I did one of these “pulse checks” as I was walking around the airport in Dubai and I’m happy to say my check-up went quite well.  My happiness is in good health.  What about yours?  

Happiness means different things for different people.  What makes me smile might make you frown and vice versa.  So what does happiness mean to me?  It’s quite simple.  A freedom to be myself, exactly as God created and my experiences have shaped me.  A freedom to love life to the fullest and to pursue every one of my hopes and dreams. 

The way my heart skips a beat when I hear my husband’s voice or the way I get so bubbly inside when he calls and his special ring tone, Easy Silence, by the Dixie Chicks plays and his picture displays on my phone.  Happiness is watching Pretty Woman or Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner and being able to recite most of the lines while Keith laughs at me laughing at my two favorite movies. 

Happiness is walking along the beach and saying “thank you” for the birds, the trees, the ocean, the sand, the children making sand castles and the people running by as I continue on a nice stroll.  Happiness is being grateful for everything around me and all that is in me.

Happiness, for me, is not connected to money.  It never has been.  Maybe because I lived in several shelters as a homeless teenager or maybe because I’ve known so many wealthy people who are utterly miserable.  I learned long ago money could not buy happiness nor can the stuff it buys bring happiness.

Happiness is loving God, loving my husband, loving my family, loving my friends, loving myself and feeling wholly and completely loved in return by each of them.  Happiness to me, at this moment, is traveling around the world -in search of the secret to a happy marriage- and being able to write about this great adventure.  It’s having the opportunity to sit down and break bread with couples wiser than me, who have lived a life they’re proud of and who are loved and adored by their spouses.

Happiness to me is being able to describe what makes me happy and know I’m living that exact life, at this very moment, looking forward to what is still to come.

Question: What does happiness mean to you?  What does it look like?  What does it feel like?

If you’re happily married and haven’t taken the time to join the Club, make sure to join us today.  It takes only seconds and, of course, it’s completely free.  Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Comments: With nearly 45,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook

Seeing Keith for the first time in several weeks caused me to want to do far less sightseeing and spend more time looking at him rather than Big Ben.  But we did manage to do a little sightseeing during our four days together in Great Britain.  

One of our first stops as Westminster Abbey, where the nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton -watched by more than 2 billion people worldwide- took place.

Unfortunately, the 11^th century venue where these two lovebirds were married, and people from every corner of the world looked on with envy, struck me more as a cemetery than a place where a new life together would begin. 

Literally, everywhere I turned when visiting this church, there were headstones, tombstones, grave sites and cremated ashes everywhere.  Visiting this great monument, I was expecting romanticism, walls that spoke of love and an altar that had seen nearly some of the most extravagant royal weddings and coronations in British history. 

Instead I was stepping on graves of some of the most distinguished men and women in the country’s history.  Sir Isaac Newton, fancy seeing you here.  Charles Dickens, love your books, so nice to meet you.  Queen Mary I, Queen Mary Queen of Scots, Queen Mary II, Queen Elizabeth I, and Queen Anne, thank you for being trailblazers.  Charles Darwin, this is certainly the last place I expected for you to be. 

I could go from corner to corner of this place and continue saying hello and thank you to all the people I read about in my 9^th grade in European history.  Although I was surprised, and found the church to be a bit creepy, I was reminded of one thing: Money doesn’t bring happiness.  Power doesn’t bring happiness.  An awesome venue and amazing dress with a 25’ train doesn’t bring happiness.  It begins with a choice prior to marriage and continues by making that choice every single day.

Question: What choices have you made throughout your marriage to work toward mutual happiness and building a relationship to last a lifetime?

If you’re happily married and haven’t taken the time to join the Club, make sure to join us today.  It takes only seconds and, of course, it’s completely free.  Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Comments: With more than 44,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook

The streets of London hold more people than I’ve seen in any city.  New York is the closest thing I’ve seen to it but in New York it seems far less bothersome because everyone is going at the same rapid pace.  Not so in London. 

For some reason, the people here like to walk diagonal, stop randomly and begin heading in the other direction and the number of people stopping for a freshly made doughnut or chocolate drizzled Belgium waffle is dizzying. 

I arrived in London a week and a half before the Summer Olympics 2012 are scheduled to happen. “Where are you guys going to fit all the people travelling here?” asked a taxi driver.  “It’s going to be dreadful.  We’re all dreading it.”  And I see why. 

I couldn’t go 5 blocks without zig zagging through what was probably a thousand people – and that was only on my side of the street. But I was on a mission to find the perfect piece of lingerie to greet my husband after he returned to the hotel from his final meeting of the day.

Now, I’ve never quite understood the point of lingerie.  I spend all this time getting dolled up and putting on something Keith is going to immediately remove.  And I mean immediately.  Early on in our marriage, he’d purchased me quite a few pieces of lingerie.  I’d even purchased several myself.  But I never quite got the hang of them.  I didn’t feel comfortable in them.  I felt confident in them because I felt good about my body but they just didn’t seem authentic.  They weren’t me. 

How could I be completely open in my expression of physical love if I didn’t feel as though I was being myself?  Keith and I talked about this many times because there was a pretty wide gap between the lingerie he found appealing on me and the soft cotton nighties I found comfortable to wear.  But I’d been away from him longer than I’d ever been -on my trip around the world in search of the secret to a happy marriage- so I wanted to step up the eye candy.

And yippee, I found the perfect piece.

Question: What do you think about lingerie?  Do you enjoy wearing it?  Does your husband enjoy seeing you in it?

If you’re happily married and haven’t taken the time to join the Club, make sure to join us today.  It takes only seconds and, of course, it’s completely free.  Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Comments: With more than 44,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook

Yesterday, I shared with you a portion of an interview I conducted with a wonderful Mauritian/French couple.  Some of the best advice I’ve received, on this trip around the world in search of the secret to a happy marriage, came from Jean-Alain and Francoise.

Following our tea, we moved to the table where we talked about French politics (I know far less about their politics than they know about ours), enjoyed a scrumptious homemade lunch which included freshly baked bread with loads of butter (my doing, not theirs), red wine, steak, potatoes, steamed squash with olive oil and balsalmic vinaigrette drizzled along the top and a salad.  

During my time with them, I was reminded of a principle I’d heard from many of the happily married couples I’ve interviewed over the years: If you want more, it’s simple.  Be grateful for what you already have.

“Life is fantastic, let’s not spoil it,” Jean-Alain offers as his one piece of advice.  “I’ve always told the youngsters who come to me for advice.  I think to be happy in life, is very simple.  Love passionately whatever you make whatever you do.  I know quite a few friends who all their life think they would like to be this, to do that – be a doctor, be a lawyer, be this, be that – but haven’t managed to do it and they are still complaining ‘I should have done this or that.’  But why don’t you try to find out all the joy of all you are now doing.  Love it passionately and you’ll see that life is wonderful.” 

Continuing in this same vein, he says, “Love becomes marvelous…when you become content with what you have.  Don’t look always for other things.  The next door neighbors boat or car.  Let him enjoy it and let him enjoy what he has.”  You can always acquire more but God has a funny way of not giving more to those who don’t enjoy what He has already given, I add to his already wonderful advice.

Their daughter, Marie-Agnis, adds, “Or if He gives, you don’t see, because you’re not seeing what you already have.”  Jean-Alain concludes with, “You manage your life for sure, but there are many things you don’t manage and you have to catch the thing when it comes to you.  Be happy with it.  Life is a fantastic thing.” 

Question: What are you most grateful today?  That’s the funny thing about gratitude.  When you spend more time forcused on what you’re grateful for, you somehow end up with alot more to be grateful for.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

Comments: With more than 44,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook

Jean-Alain and Francoise welcomed me into their home in Mauritius, served tea, delicious desserts and lunch.  We talked about love, life and what they believe to be the secret to a happy marriage. 

An hour or so into the interview, I asked Francoise if having four children in succession, and then a fifth 7 years later, was tough for her.  You bet it was.  She was exhausted.  At one point, she had “a terrible breakdown” because she was so tired.  And what helped her through it is something I’d never before heard about.

They were a part of a couples group through their church.  Every month, she and her husband were required to sit down together and talk about everything on their heart; the good, the bad, their disappointments, hope for the future and contentment (or lack thereof) with the present.  Nothing was off limits and each spouse would share their heart with their spouse. 

After their “duty to sit down and talk,” as translated into English since I couldn’t quite understand the name they called it in French, they would get together with five or six other couples once a month who were doing the same.  They’d rotate homes and after having a glass of wine and eating a lite meal or snack, they’d commence sharing with each other much of what came out of their monthly “sit down.” 

Of course, they couldn’t share everything, but they would share enough to learn about the challenges each other faced in marriage and to encourage and learn from one another.  Their church provided them with a “study guide” that listed common challenges in marriage and asked the couples to share their thoughts on each subject.

The more they talked about this, the more I wanted to fly home and start a group just like it.  And after starting my own, encourage wives all over the world to do the same.  Then reality hit and I realized I was only at the 4th city in my 12-country journey.

Jean-Alain, Francoise and each of these couples have remained best friends over all these years.  They met monthly for 15 years and then continued getting together as friends but not around a specific agenda.  By that point, they all felt strong in their marriage.  To this day, they all go on a group vacation once a year. 

There is a Doug Larson quote I love, “More marriages would survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.”  While they were sharing with me this group, I wondered how many couples would have figured out how to work it out, grow and love again if they’d not rushed to considering divorce.  I wondered, if groups like this, could quite possibly be one of the solutions to keeping families together and encouraging each other to continue loving one another and falling in love over and over throughout their lifetime.

Question: What do you think about this concept of meeting with a group of couples, who are also close friends, to discuss love, marriage and life, and to encourage each other?

Join me Friday as I share a bit more of my time with Jean-Alain and Francoise in Mauritius.  Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Comments: With more than 44,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook

So, the advice just keeps pouring in.  Earlier this week, I posed a question, “What is the best marriage advice you’ve ever received?”  And your responses have not disappointed.  I posted a few of my favorites yesterday but there are just too many to put in one post so I’m creating a “Part II” and posting a few more here.

If you haven’t had a chance to share the best marital advice you’ve received, please make sure to join us on our Facebook Community to share it with us.  We are all learning from each other and I, personally, learn so much from each of you daily.

So without further ado, here are some more gems of wisdom people deposited into your marriage and now I get to share it with the world.

“If you keep score, everyone loses.” -Submitted by R. Ralston

“Only give what you want to receive.” -Submitted by J. Smith

“People say a good marriage is 50 — 50. That is wrong. A good marriage is 100–100. Each one has to give it everything they have. You have to work on your marriage each and every day to keep it fresh and you have to want it to work to make it work.” -Submitted by S. Whisman

“Don’t neglect the power of these words: I’m sorry, will you please forgive me? Repentance is the open door to change.” -Submitted by D. Walter

“Never yell at each other unless there’s a fire.” -Submitted by M. Aguada

“To become best friends and do things together. The rest will fall into place, with no conditions:- the love, respect and most importantly trust…it can make or break any relationship.” -D. Hamlyn

“Spoil your spouse and not your children.” -Submitted by J. Weston

“Accept your spouse’s individuality. Do not make him/her someone he’s/she’s not. And do not compare.” -Submitted by N. Arcilla

“When you find yourself in an argument, stop and walk away; go pray and then come back to talk. It give you time to regroup and cool off and get your head straight. It also gives you time not to say anything that you can’t ever take back.” -Submitted by D. Lucas

“Live for the betterment of each other and let the world take care of itself.” -Submitted by T. Hunter

It was wonderful to see so much great advice pouring in and knowing the members of this club took the positive advice someone else gave them and applied it to their own marriage for success.

Join me tomorrow as I share tips from the Mauritius couple I traveled halfway around the world to interview.  After more than 50 years of marriage, they still live by their own secrets to a happy marriage.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Comments: With more than 43,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook

In response to Monday’s blog post, quite a few of you went to our Facebook Community and shared the bestLove this quote because it reminds me that mistakes of yesterday can be left in the past. Today is Day 1. piece of marriage advice you’ve ever been given.  I’ve shared mine several times before, but just in case you missed it, I’ve included it here.  

Please continue to share with the HWC community the best marriage advice you’ve ever received and I’ll keep posting it.  Here are just a few of my favorites so far:

“I was once told by a woman on her death bed regarding marriage, ‘Don’t worry about the little things…don’t fight over nonsense…in the end you won’t remember it and it really doesn’t matter’.” -Submitted by M. Viliardos

“It’s not lack of love but lack of friendship that makes unhappy families.” -Submitted by Z. Kasparyants

“Relationships are not for happiness. Happiness is an inside job. Relationships are a mirror to equilibrate and celebrate. A mirror because they are a perfect reflection of our thoughts and beliefs. To equilibrate means to encourage us when we are low and challenge us when we are high, thereby returning us to our center. To celebrate is to share the natural ease, joy and pleasure of living from our center, of living in the now with clarity.” -Submitted by A.M. Oravec (original quote from happiness.org)

“If you aren’t working on your marriage, you’re working on your divorce.” -Submitted by T. Broadaway

“Think first, ‘Is this going to hurt or bother your other half’ and if so, don’t do or say it.  Always treat each other with respect.  My husband says he treats me like ‘God hand stamped ‘handle with care, on my forehead!!’ 24 years without fighting, I believe it works!!” -Submitted by T. Ford

“Get rid of the TV and invest that time with your mate.” -Submitted by M. Patterson

“Keeping your marriage alive is never having to try hard to keep your relationship – both husband and wife share the joy of spontaneity and the curiosity to know more about one another each and every day. I know that I am not a princess so I don’t expect my husband to be a prince – we just love each other just as we are!” -Submitted by A. Marquez

“When I asked my dad for marriage advice as a newlywed he gave me this advice. “Be kind to each other. Don’t make big demands on each other because a person can only handle so much in life.” My parents have both passed away but they were married for 41 years.” -Submitted by J. Greefhorst

“When describing negative feelings such as anger, upset, sadness etc, it’s always a good start to use the words “I feel ….” instead of “You make me feel ….”. It takes away blame and opens up the conversation without making the other person feel defensive and attacked.” -Submitted by J. Jones

If you didn’t get a chance to send me your response, it’s not too late.  Here was the original question:

Question: What is the best marriage advice you’ve ever received or the best marriage quote you’ve ever heard?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Comments: With nearly 44,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook

A little more than a week ago, I promised to share with you a communication technique I heard about in Mauritius.  Then I got so busy with my travels, it’s taken more than a week to fulfil that commitment.  For those who reminded me, thank you! 

While in Mauritius, I told you about two Chinese women I had the pleasure of meeting there.  One of them, See Yin, shared a communication tool she began using in her marriage many years ago: O.S.B.D. (emotional intelligence).

O.S.B.D. is a method created by Etienne Chomé after the riots of 1999.  He was summoned by the Bishop of Port Louis (capital of Mauritius) to facilitate trainings on, “Learning how to better resolve our daily conflicts.”

Finding much information on Chomé proved to be difficult and finding information on his teachings in any language other than French, proved nearly impossible. 

I began with his site, communications.org, but even translated into English, it doesn’t give much insight.  From what I was able to gather, Chomé streamlined the teachings of a number of well-recognized communication teachers around the world into a single communication technique. 

See Yin, who speaks fluent French, explained how this book and Chomé’s teachings helped her marriage.  “The method is easy: Observation, Feelings, Needs, Demands,” See Yin shares.  It is referred to as the OSBD method because the acronym is in French: Observation (observation), Sentiments (feelings), Besoins (needs), Demandes (demands).  With the exception of one word in this acronym, I just realized, I can read French!  Well, at least I can read their words adopted into the English language.

When See Yin’s husband is frustrated or upset, she uses the following method.  First, observe the situation as it is, void of emotion.  Second, notice his feelings by listening; and truly listening, not thinking of her response or defense while he’s speaking.  Third, she must identify his needs.  And fourth, what is he demanding, or more clearly understood, what is he asking be done differently in the future. 

See Yin explains a scenario of how this looks in real life.  “O [observation]: I arrive at 11pm.  S [sentiments, or in English, feelings]: “Are you upset?” she asks.  And then openly listens to his response.  B [besoins, or in English, needs]: “Is it because you want us to spend more time together?” she continues.  D [demandes, or in English, demands]: “Would you like me to come back at 9pm instead?”

Because most people aren’t accustomed to speaking (or listening) in this manner, “it may sound unnatural at first,” she says, “but it does help to have a better relationship when we do not use words that sound like we are attacking the other person and when we understand the reason why we are so upset, we can stop being upset.”

Question: Is there a specific technique or tool you and your husband have used to assist in having better communication?

Join me tomorrow as I share tips from the Mauritius couple I traveled halfway around the world to interview.  After more than 50 years of marriage, they still live by their own secrets to a happy marriage.  

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Comments: With more than 43,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook

This has been an unbelievable month.  I’ve traveled to Winnipeg, Cape Town, Johannesburg, Mauritius, London and Croatia, all in search of the secret to a happy marriage.  I’ve interviewed couples happily married 20-plus years and even a few in their early years of marriage.

What I once called the Journey of a Lifetime has turned out to be just that.  Five days a week, I’ve come to this page to share with you what I’ve learned, as I’ve learned it.  This week has been a bit different because things are happening faster than I seem to be able to write about them. 

In Zagreb, I’ve had a jam packed schedule, which included a tour by presidential guards at the Office of the President (good thing the Prez didn’t come in while I was sitting in his dinner chair).  I interviewed a happily married woman, who was petite, gorgeous, and an arms dealer for the Swedes (not kidding).

I visited the museum which won the 2011 European award for most innovative, the Museum of Broken Relationships.  You wouldn’t believe this museum if I told you so I’ll give you the link here.  People send the museum curators mementos from a love gone wrong, along with a story of their failed relationship.  There’s even an axe a woman used to chop 25 pieces of furniture that belonged to her ex.  That museum was depressing!  Good thing I get to write about marriages that have stood the test of time and remained in love and friends throughout their life together.

And now, I’m sitting on a luggage cart in the middle of the Zagreb Airport, second person in line, at Turkish Airlines waiting for them to open.  I arrived so early because this airline is the worst I’ve ever travelled and is notorious for overbooking their flights.  But as I sit, and write, I’m thinking about all I’ve learned so far and excited about sharing it with you in the days ahead. 

Please join me Monday as I continue to share some of the greatest marital advice of all time, from folks not speculating about it, but those who’ve actually lived it.  

If you’re happily married and haven’t taken the time to join the Club, make sure to join us today.  It takes only seconds and, of course, it’s completely free.  Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

Comments: With more than 43,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook

As I continue my journey around the world in search of the secret to happy marriage, I just can’t seem to keep my thoughts from returning to South Africa.  So many great lessons learned there about marriage, as well as life.

Madiba, as Nelson Mandela is known locally, is the most beloved man in South Africa by whites, blacks and coloreds alike.  Prisoner number 46664, as he was known for 26 years, is revered and respected; he is a legend.  He is honored for his unconquerable strength, unquenchable hope and disciplined humility.  

When I watched the movie about him, Invictus, I wondered how I could relate to the poem that carried him through those years while not forsaking my trust in God?  ”I am the master of my fate,” it reads.  ”I am the captain of my soul.”  

Ever since seeing the movie a couple years ago, the second half of the final stanza of that poem has continued to weave through my mind for no apparent reason.  It wasn’t until recently that I fully understood those lines as it relates to my own life. 

God gives me choices throughout my lifetime.  Do I walk through Door A or Door B?  If God closes a door, do I attempt to pry open the window?  When God says no, do I attempt to turn that no into a yes by ignoring that two-letter word I heard so clearly it was almost audible?  Is that why these couples I’m interviewing are so happy in their marriage?  Is that why I’m so happy in my own?

If happiness is a choice, as they all believe it to be, is a happy and loving marriage but a series of choices made over the course of time?  A determination to wake up each morning and to not allow any challenges that arise in the outside world to affect what goes on in their home.

In addition to the issue of respect, another great similarity between all these couples is their acceptance of responsibility.  If something is wrong, they talk about it, they look for a solution, they make it right.  They don’t look to jump ship, they figure out how to plug the holes allowing water into their own vessel.  They intently choose a life of happiness daily, irrespective of what may be going on around them.

Question: How do the daily choices you make in your marriage affect it, for better or for worse?

If you’re happily married and haven’t taken the time to join the Club, make sure to join us today.  It takes only seconds and, of course, it’s completely free.  Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Comments: With nearly 43,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook