I am SUPER excited to be doing a guest post for Fawn over here on the “Happy Wives Club” website! I absolutely ADORE Fawn and am constantly amazed at everything she does for other couples and for marriage everywhere. Anything to do with having a “happily ever after” is right up my alley and Fawn is the perfect person to be in charge of such a site!!

I am Tara, one of the *divas* blogging for the website, The Dating Divas.

I am married to my best friend, addicted to crafting & coming up with creative dates for my sweetie & me, AND I loooove blogging with some of my closest friends. Life is good! On The Dating Divas website, we are all about creative ideas that will help strengthen our relationships. My friends & I were determined NOT to become “boring old couples” who sat around and watched TV all day. We wanted to continue the honeymoon, so we decided to take turns coming up with SUPER creative, inexpensive, and fun date ideas that we could all try! We are currently putting together all sorts of fabulous things to help strengthen marriage… and today I am going to share with you information about a FREE marriage retreat packed with inspiration to get your love sizzling in no time at all!!

Ah… I see that I caught your attention, huh!

How many of you would just LOVE to escape to some fabulous marriage retreat with your significant other? Listen to some amazing speakers, focus on each other, and be INSPIRED to improve your marriage even more than it already is? *sigh* Wouldn’t that be nice!?!

…and then you see the COST of those suckers! Yes, your marriage improves, BUT it usually seems to drain your bank account as a result of attending any of those events. We received email after email from our amazing readers asking for advice on how to address those issues that always seem to pop up in marriage. We started brainstorming… and hit upon an absolutely fantastic idea!!

What if WE brought a Marriage Retreat to all of YOU!!!

We got right to work, contacting all of our absolute favorite marriage experts and we are SO excited to announce our SECOND “Successful Marriage” Tele-Retreat!!

Are you jumping outta your chair right now? Read on to get more details and reserve YOUR spot today!!

Click HERE to meet all of the inspirational speakers, see what their fabulous presentations will cover, & reserve your spot today!!

Click HERE to view our Tele-Retreat “Frequently Asked Questions” Page!

**Can’t make the retreat but want to hear the AMAZING speakers? Sign up to be a community member right now. ALL of the presentations will be recorded and placed in the community the same day!

**Guest Blog Post by Jocelyn White, founding member, Happy Wives Club**

My husband of almost seven years and I are thankful to have parents that are still married.  My husband’s parents have been married over 50 years and my parents have been married over 30.  We have seen their dedication through all the joys and challenges of marriage.  One of the things we set out to learn at the beginning of our marriage was, how would we work through challenges together?

It is not uncommon to hear disgruntled spouses speak of “losing themselves” and their identity.  Once the kids left, they didn’t know who they were anymore.  We tried to figure out if there was a way we could somehow prevent that from happening, and how to create healthy habits before we had kids.

When our first anniversary came, we decided to ask one another what our dreams were, for our marriage, for our career, and as a couple.  Out of that discussion began a tradition of yearly checking-in on one another’s dreams and vowing to do our best to make one another’s dreams come true.  We committed to living life on purpose, not simply “going through” life, but committed to being intentional about the things we were passionate about, and the things we valued most. 

That started with our wedding vows, in which we wrote our commitment to choose to delight and forgive one another. And delighting in one another’s dreams and the things that interested the other most became a springboard for our continuing adventure.  After a few short years, I went from thinking movies were a waste of time, to becoming a movie buff because my husband was, from hating cold weather to snowboarding because my husband loves the mountains and skiing, and perhaps best of all, this working toward one another’s dreams set a foundation for us to find and pursue a common calling- to help end modern-day slavery and human trafficking in the US and abroad.  Along the way, we’ve both had challenging days, but that’s where choosing to forgive and delight in one another, and giving each other a safe person to make mistakes in front of, has made all the difference. And it is all the more fulfilling when our dreams do come true.

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Question: Do you and your husband share your goals and dreams with one another?  Do you partner together to achieve them? 

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Comments: With more than 65,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook Community page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation.

I could not be any happier.  As most of you know, my Dad was rushed to the hospital(Mom and Dad more than 38 years ago) almost two weeks ago and after being put on a form of life support for a procedure, and then living with tubes coming out of everywhere possible the past 12 days, he was extubated yesterday.  He remains in ICU but now we are able to talk to him and he’s able to communicate and breathe (almost) on his own.

I’m happy it looks like my Dad may come home.  I’m even happier my mom will have more time to spend with her husband.  They will celebrate their 40th anniversary soon and a week ago it looked like that might not happen.  Now, we’re hopeful it will be the best party ever.

Growing up, I learned so much about marriage from my parents.  For one, they were marriage counselors so I learned alot about what not to do in marriage through the stories of many of their clients.  But I also learned what to do, one of which was being a whole person before I uttered the words “I do,” so I could give my husband all of me instead of just a part.

I’ve been a happy wife from the moment the Elvis-impersonating officiator (yes, we eloped in Las Vegas) told my husband he could kiss the bride.  And that has everything to do with how I prepared for marriage, prior to marriage.

Thanks, Mom and Dad, for that gift. 

(Before I was even born)

Question: Who inspired you to create the marriage your heart desired?  Did you always know a happy and lifelong marriage was possible?

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

DON’T FORGET: Today is the last day to enter the Santa in September contest to win an iPad for that special person in your life.  You can also win a Nikon camera.  Super simple to enter and 100% free.

Comments: With more than 65,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook Community page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation.

UPDATE: For those who have asked about my Dad, he is doing much better.  He remains in ICU but we’re hopeful that will not be for much longer.  The great news is it looks like he will survive all this.  Thank you for your prayers and well wishes. 

This morning, I awoke and planned to meet you here around 5am, as usual.  But unlike most mornings, the internet in our apartment wasn’t working so I attempted to upload my post for the day using Keith’s iPad.  That’s when I learned the limitations of the uber-popular iPad.  So now, I sit in the local Starbucks (whose cool vibe I’m loving) several hours later writing this post.    

With my eyes barely open this morning, I looked at my phone to see the time.  But before I took note of the 4:59am listed at the top, I saw I’d received a long text message from the taxi driver that took me all around Mauritius while I was there a few months ago (during my worldwide quest to find the secret to a happy marriage).

I’d sent a question to him yesterday via text regarding a phrase he shared with me while I was there.  Married more than 30 years, Bobby, had a lot of advice about marriage including his acronym for wife.  “You know what wife means?” he asked in a serious tone.  “Yes, of course I do.”  At least I thought I did until he started laughing to himself which let me know he must have an nontraditional meaning. 

“Wife stands for ‘Without information, argue much.’”  Something tells me there was translation lost in the meaning since that acronym would be “wiam” not “wife.”  My guess is the actual answer to that question was something along the lines of “without information fight every day.”  Either way, we shared a laugh and then I listened to his real advice.

The secret to a happy marriage, according to Bobby, is “donnant donnant,” which is a French phrase he explained meant, “to receive you must first give.”  I like that.  Donnant donnant.  When two people are focused more on what they give than what they receive, when they are determined to have a marriage made up of two equal parts, something magical happens.  The law of reciprocity kicks in, and somehow, each person receives more than they ever hoped or desired.

That’s how it is with my marriage.  What about yours?

Question: When you give to your husband expecting nothing in return, do you usually find he gives you more in return than you’d ever hoped or asked?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

 Comments: With more than 65,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook Community page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation.

I am so grateful to have a guest blogger joining us today.  As many of you know, last Sunday my world was turned upside-down when my father was put on a form of life support for an emergency procedure prior to being transferred to ICU.  

He remains in ICU but is getting stronger (thank you to all those praying).  I will definitely update you when I join you here on Wednesday morning, but until then, I hope you’ll be able to relate to this guest post as much as me.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Today’s Guest Blogger: Renee Fisher @devotionaldiva.com 

If I have to describe my first year of marriage in one word it would be–wonder. As a child, I would look at my parents and wonder what it would be like someday.

As a girl, I would look at my friends and wonder why I wasn’t in a relationship. Was there something wrong with me? Was it because I was too loud, too fat, or too smart to be in a relationship?

As a young adult, I never stopped to wonder where my future husband was. Although I have to admit that I gave up the notion that somewhere my prince charming was waiting to rescue me.

I didn’t need to be saved. I already knew–and was confident in the woman I was becoming.

I got married a year shy of my 30^th birthday. Looking back I am so glad I never gave up the wonder.

The wonder of someday my best friend would meet me half way.

The wonder of waking up next to a man in my bed and marveling at his naked body while he stares at mine.

I’m still considered a “newlywed”–but I hope I never give up the wonder–because it’s when I’m just being my wonderful self that makes him and me most happy.

I am a wonder wife.

Question: Do you find yourself amazed often and grateful for the wonder of marriage and the ability to love and be loved at such a high level?

Renee Fisher is a spirited author and speaker who lives with her software engineering husband and their rescued pit bull named Star. She blogs at http://www.devotionaldiva.com.

Comments: With more than 60,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook Community page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation.

 **THIS CONTEST IS NOW OVER AND THE REGISTRATION FORM IS CLOSED**

Yep, THREE iPads for THREE of you!!

{one iPad per winner!}

We’ve teamed up with some fabulous bloggers to make this Christmas season just a bit sweeter! We all know how CRAZY it gets around Christmas time & we wanted to do something to lessen the stress when it comes to shopping for gifts! It’s NEVER too early to start prepping for my favorite holiday of all!

So… here’s your chance to win the perfect gift for that “impossible person” on your Christmas list OR the reward you can give yourself for working so hard all year! {Who says you can’t get yourself a Christmas present?} We thought and we thought… and we thought… and we decided that BRAND-NEW iPADS would be the bomb-diggity-bomb for ANY of our readers! If you didn’t have one… then Merry Christmas to YOU! If you DO have one, then you will be able to check another person off your list! Win-Win!!

BUT WAIT, it gets even better!

Once the THREE winners have been selected to receive their iPads, we’re going to randomly draw ONE of their names and that person will also get to choose which loved one they want this lovely little prize shipped to…

A Nikon Camera shipped directly to the person of your choice!

{We are totally doing your Christmas shopping for you!!!! You are SOOOO welcome!}

 Simply enter your information in the form below so we will be able to contact you if you win. Easy-peasy!! Need an alternate entry? Please see below.

This giveaway ends on Friday, September 21st at midnight, so hurry and get your entry in today! Make a deal with ALL of your family members and friends and tell them if they enter, you’ll split the prize! An iPad for one of you and a camera for the other!!

The form below is your giveaway entry, so when you put in your info – make sure you only enter ONCE because this form is shared on all of the participating sites.

Somewhat Simple {Crafts & More}	The Dating Divas {Creative Date Ideas}	Six Sisters’ Stuff {Delicious Recipes}	Make and Takes {Crafts for Kids}	{The TomKat Studio {Party Central}
GroopDealz {Daily Boutique Deals}	Lil’ Luna {Crafts & More}	The Girl Who Ate Everything {Recipes}	Happy Wives Club {Marriage Advice}	Money Saving Queen {Saving You Money}
I Heart Naptime {Crafts & More}	Sweet! {Baking Supplies}	The Frugal Girls {Saving You Money}

*This giveaway is in no way affiliated, administered or endorsed by Facebook. For an alternate entry, please email steph@somewhatsimple.com with entry info. Open to U.S. residents only. Winners will be chosen using Random.org and will be notified by email on 9/22/12. Winners will need to respond within 48 hours to claim their prize or another winner will be chosen.

There’s a saying, “If you want to know your priorities, don’t listen to what you say but rather look at your calendar and checkbook.”  Clearly, this quote was pre-ATM debit and people using credit cards as if it was cash, but you get the drift.  

So often I hear people say, “my family comes first,” but I wonder if I were to take a sneak peak into those two C’s whether or not they would confirm that statement to be true.

I know that wasn’t the case when I was first married.  As a matter of fact, that wasn’t the case for the first 5 years or so of my marriage.  

If you’d asked me at that time what my priority was, I would have told you without hesitation it was my family.  But if you’d looked at my calendar, you would have seen my priority was clearly my work.  My husband, five siblings, parents and other immediate family members would have to send up smoke signals to get my attention.  It’s not because I didn’t love them and it’s not because they weren’t the most important thing in the world to me.  I simply hadn’t yet learned how to align what I said and believed was most important in my life and what proved true based on how I spent my time.

Over the past 5 days, since my father was rushed to the hospital and I received a text message from my sister saying, “Dad is on life support,” I’ve enjoyed spending all week with my family.  Albeit at a hospital much of the time, it’s been wonderful.  And when I return home each night, Keith is there looking forward to me walking through the door.

My workload has’t changed; I still have a ton to do each day.  I just manage it better.  As I’m writing this, I’m thinking about the manuscript I have due to my publisher in two weeks, book chapters due to my editor almost daily, and the work I need to do in relation to my business.  But I’m not stressed because I know the thing that is most important is taken care of: family.

With everything going on, I could stop doing the things around the house Keith is accustomed to me doing.  He would understand and wouldn’t complain in the least.  As a matter of fact, he’d simply do each of the things in addition to what he usually does (we’re a shared chores household ).  But he is my priority, taking care of our home is my priority.  

Question: What does “family first” mean to you?

Until Monday…make it a great day!

Comments: With more than 52,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook Community page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation.

If you’ve followed this blog for some time, you know you can usually meet me here every Monday, Wednesday and Friday around 5am.  It’s how I begin those days.  This week, I’ve begun each day in a very different way: driving to visit my father in the hospital.  

On Sunday, my cell phone was uncharacteristically overloaded by texts and calls from 3 of my 5 siblings.  My phone was on vibrate so I didn’t see them until an hour or so after my family initially began trying to reach me.  The last text from one of my sisters read, “Dad is on life support.”

By the time Keith and I arrived at the hospital, there were more than 20 family members sitting around waiting on news from the doctors.  My mom, who has loved and adored this man -her husband and my father- for nearly 40 years, sat with her head down; drained.  It had been a long day.

I cannot imagine what it must feel like to not only have to think about the possibility of losing your spouse, but to know that time may now be upon you.  To sit, helpless, hoping and praying God will choose another day to take your loved one home.

I’m reminded in this moment of something every widow I’ve ever met -including those who are members of this club- have shared with me regarding marriage.  ”Don’t sweat the small stuff.”  In the end, the only thing that will matter is who we loved, how much we loved and how well we loved.    

As my mom continues to spend her upcoming days believing my father, her husband, will hear the words she expresses while seated at the side of his hospital bed, I encourage you to take a moment to share with your husband all the words you might want to say if today were your last day together.  

Today’s question was originally posed by Richard Carlson (author of the Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff series) in An Hour to Live, an Hour to Love.  He presented this unintentional manuscript to his wife on their 18th wedding anniversary just three years before his unexpected and untimely death.  Don’t allow the day to come to a close without first posing this question to yourself.

Question: If you had one hour to live and could make just one phone call, who would you call? What would you say?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Comments: With nearly 52,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook Community page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation.

Last night, I watched the lit candle on the edge of our kitchen counter.  Tropical Medley is the scent and I love lighting it as the work day comes to a close to fill our home with it’s mild fruity fragrance.  When I want a spicier scent, I light the deep red candle on the coffee table in our living room that warms our home with the smell of cinnamon.

As I looked at the flicker of the lit candle, dancing around the jar while remaining contained in the glass that surrounds it and watched it gently melt the wax that keeps it burning so bright, I thought about marriage.  I’m not quite sure why exactly this made me think about marriage, it just did.

I thought about my own marriage and how Keith and I work daily to keep the fire lit in our marriage.  Oftentimes when people talk about lighting or striking a fire, they’re referring to sex.  And although I love to make love to my husband (and he most assuredly is generous in his reciprocity), that’s not what he wants from me most.

I’ve watched him over the years and discovered what he craves most is oneness with me.  Knowing that he is pleasing me in every way possible and hearing me exclaim it and proclaim it out loud (that’s in sex too – sorry neighbors ).  It’s important to him to know his love for me, all he does for our family and the sacrifices he makes to ensure I’m the happiest woman he knows, never goes unnoticed.

I’ve often found myself saying this lately, but I keep sharing it because I find it to be so true: Gratitude begets happiness.  When I wake up in the morning and am grateful to God, to life, to my family, to my husband for all that happened the day before and am grateful in advance for what will happen in that day, I just feel better; happier.

And so it is with my husband, I’ve discovered.  My gratitude not only makes me happy, it makes him happy.  It not only ensures a wonderful day for myself, it ensures an equally beautiful day for him.  So when I think about keeping the fire lit in my marriage, I think most about living a grateful life.  For him, for me, for our family, for our marriage.

Question: Does your happiness positively impact your husband’s day and your marriage?  When you’re happy, does that make him smile all the more?

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!  You deserve it.

Comments: With nearly 51,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook Community page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation.

To celebrate my 36th birthday, Keith took me away this past weekend.  One word: Amazing.  He told me(Point Vicente Lighthouse) nothing about where we were going and packed my bags so I had no clue.

Once we got in the car, I expected to be driving for a pretty long road trip.  Thirty minutes after leaving home, we exited the 405 freeway at Wilshire Boulevard.  He began smiling because he knew I was trying to figure out where he was taking me and whatever I thought I knew went right out the window the moment he put his right blinkers on to exit.  

Our first stop was the spa.  I know this man loves me because he sat in the waiting area for 90 minutes chatting with the spa owner as I got a facial.  Second stop was a delicious restaurant just down the street followed by our final destination: Rancho Palos Verdes, California.  

(My honey getting ready to ride)This city, less than 30 minutes south of Los Angeles, is absolutely stunning.  I can’t believe I’ve never spent time here.  It sits on a peninsula with the most gorgeous ocean views I’ve seen in California.  Unlike other nearby beaches, the water is pure blue and green.  It hasn’t been tainted by waste and pollution.  

I love to hike and there are hiking trails throughout the city, many which meander through bluffs overlooking the ocean, and one that ends at the Pointe Vicente lighthouse.  After the first night at this amazing hotel (which he definitely splurged on), he took me horseback riding.  Next to writing and travelling, there is nothing I love more than horseback riding. 

For three nights, we did nothing but relax and enjoy each other’s company.  But I can’t help but think as lovely as it was to ride horses through the rolling green hills, hike below the cotton candy blue and pink skies and above the azure waters below, nothing compared to simply being held in my husband’s arms.  Nothing.  

When I think about marriage, about all the reasons in the world one might choose to utter that two-word lifelong commitment, “I do,” I think about times like this.  Times when everything around me -no matter how amazingly beautiful- pales in comparison to my husband’s warm embrace.

Question: When you think about your husband, what about him makes you smile with absolute delight?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Comments: With more than 50,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook 

Keith has taken me away for my birthday and I won’t return from my surprise until later tonight.  I can’t wait to tell you all about it on Wednesday!  But today, we have a guest post by Arlene Pellicane, a speaker and the author of 31 Days to a Happy Husband.  You can visit Arlene’s website at www.ArlenePellicane.com.  I hope you enjoy today’s post and make it a great day!

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A few years ago, I read about a seven-day sex challenge where wives where challenged to make love to their husbands every day for one week.  The reason?  To deepen intimacy with one another and treasure your spouse in a special way.  I decided to give it a try.  My husband James and I had sex on Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.    By Wednesday, I just wanted to go to sleep!  But I only had three more days to complete my challenge and I love checking off boxes on my “to-do” list.   

James had not made any unusual comments about my experiment in romance.  Exhausted I said, “I’ve been doing this seven-day sex challenge.  Did you know?” 

He laughed and said, “I thought it was the new normal!”

Then it was my turn to laugh!

We as men and women have different expectations about sex, don’t we?  And each week is different.  Some weeks, you have time for wonderful romantic evenings.  Other weeks, minimum maintenance seems impossible.  Travel might take you away from each other.  You may have different expectations about frequency.  Getting on the same page sexually can be frustrating.  But keep this in mind: your sex life doesn’t have to be perfect.  You just have to be in the process of growing closer and closer sexually. 

Regarding frequency, I asked Dr. Cliff Penner who has been a sex therapist for more than 35 years and the bestselling author of The Gift of Sex.  He said,

There’s not a one size fits all solution.  But we have generally said the married life seems to work out best if couples have sex one to two times a week.  When couples come to us, they’re not usually that far apart.  The wife usually wants it one to two times, and the husband wants it two to three times per week.

Conversations about sex can be difficult but they are vital to the health of the marriage.  When you and your husband can talk freely about sex without the fear of being belittled or shut down, different expectations won’t wreck your lovelife.  You and your husband many enjoy something special that will even exceed your expectations!        

Question:  Can you talk freely about your expectations regarding sex with your husband?  Can he do the same with you? 

Comments: With more than 50,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook 

Next week marks my 36th birthday.  I truly love getting older.  I’m not too sure why -as many women like to begin counting backwards after reaching age 30- but not me.  

Maybe because it’s that time when I do a self-assessment and look at all my goals of the previous year and the areas where I’ve improved.  Possibly because I’m fortunate to have great family genes and seem to look younger each year (although not in a Benjamin Button kind of way).

Whatever the reason, I love raising a glass every birthday and toasting to a new year.  Out with the old and in with the new.  Today, I am even more excited because for the first time in my life, I’m being surprised!  

I’ve never been big on surprises but the longer I’m married, the more I seem to enjoy not knowing what Keith has planned.  He knows me so well -possibly better than I know myself- so I fully trust him to make this annual day a complete delight.

He’s packed my clothes so I have no idea what I’m wearing. He’s made all the dinner reservations so I have no I’m clueless with regard to what I’ll be eating the next three days.  And he’s driving, while I’ll be sleeping, so I know nothing about where we’ll be going.  In spite of the unknown, I can’t wait!

Like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, when Richard Gere is about to surprise her with a special (and secret) date, she says to him as they’re exiting the elevator of their hotel, “If I forget to tell you later, I really had a good time tonight.”  I think that’s what I’ll tell Keith when we begin our trip in just a few hours…and then continue to tell him every hour thereafter.

Question: What was your favorite surprise from your husband?  What has been your favorite birthday celebration since getting married?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

Comments: With more than 49,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook