This past Monday didn’t just represent the start of a new week for me but rather the beginning of a new life.  When I wrote Monday’s post about the need for women to give ourselves permission to have ‘Me’ time, I didn’t realize just how much it would impact the days that followed.

Over the weekend, I noticed during a dinner with friends on Saturday and lunch with family on Sunday that my husband and I spoke an awful lot about how busy this season of our life has been.  The hectic, breakneck pace of our lives have been overwhelming, we told them.  We never seem to have enough time in the day, we bemoaned.  

There is no doubt this has been a rough few months.  And it’s undoubtedly been one of the busiest seasons of our lives.  But -and it’s a huge but- I realized this weekend that we are a part of the problem.  

Our words breathe life.  God made it that way and no matter how hard we attempt to change that, it is what it is.  Life and death are in the power of the tongue.  And we were speaking fatigue into our lives.

What if our crazy, wacky, make-you-want-to-bury-your-head-in-the-sand kind of busyness was a result of us talking about how busy we are all the time?  And what if verbalizing this single phrase, “There’s not enough time in the day,” was the very reason our days were falling short of the necessary waking hours.

Is it possible the reason there never seemed to be enough minutes in the day to complete our tasks was because we were making that so?  There are 1,440 minutes in a day and I hadn’t been able to carve out 20 minutes a day to check in on friends and family (a goal I set a month ago).  Really?  What’s wrong with that picture?  Everything.

So on Monday I proposed something to Keith, “Let’s not mention one time for the next two weeks how busy we are.  Let’s only say, ‘I have enough time in my day to complete the tasks that are important for that day.’”  Keith is one of the people who taught me about the power of words so the moment I mentioned this, he realized the importance of us making this change…immediately.

Life changing.  Schedule altering.  This week, I’ve taken time to sip tea each morning and read a little of Rick Warren’s, “What on Earth Am I Here For?”  I’m feeling whole again.  Keith and I aren’t spending our mornings talking about our hectic schedules.  Instead we’re spending them looking at the boats that sail past our window and speaking words of affirmation into each other’s lives.  We’re enjoying more time together and learning how to be okay with the undone.

 And I must tell you, it’s been a wonderful week.

Question: What is a great lesson you’ve learned recently that is helping you better prioritize your life?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Have you ever thought, “Gosh, I just need a little ‘me’ time,” and then felt bad about feeling that way?  I wonder if that’s a natural thing for women to feel.  Whenever I think about wanting more ‘me’ time, I immediately begin thinking about all the things on my to-do list that are still incomplete and the thought of ‘me’ time disappears like a vapor; as quickly as it came to mind.

But we need me time.  I’ve never met a woman who didn’t need it.  I most certainly do. So how do I schedule a bit more personal time without feeling bad about it?

Last night, Keith and I were having dinner with two other couples.  One of the wives -a type-A woman like me- said something that really struck home.  ”Sometimes we have to learn to be okay with the undone.”  She went on to describe what she called the “haunting of the undone.”

Every time I look at my to-do list and see all the items not finished, something deep inside of me just cringes.  ”When will I ever get to the bottom of this list?!” I think.  But maybe the point is we don’t have to complete everything.  Maybe it’s just a list that continues on for the rest of my life and I have to be okay with allowing some of the items on there to go undone for the day and trust I will get to them soon.

When my to-do list takes precedence over time with my family, that’s a problem.  And when setting aside a bit of me time causes me to feel guilty, that’s when I know, it’s time.  It’s time for me to set down my lists, not worry about checking off a single item, and just check in with myself.  

Am I giving myself the amount of downtime I need to be the woman, wife, friend, sister, and daughter I most long to be?  Asking myself that question at this moment, I know the answer is no.  But I also know I can pause right now and come back in thirty minutes and change that answer to yes. I just need to decide to do it.

I need to give myself permission to love on myself.  I need to learn to be okay with getting to the end of the day and only having half of the items on my list checked off.  I will get to them tomorrow.  They aren’t a matter of life and death.  They can wait.  But what cannot wait is my innate need to feel whole, to feel complete and to feel loved.  If I’m rushing to and from, living my life by a list, none of those things will happen.

So today, I give myself permission to schedule a little ‘me’ time.  Which will undoubtedly lead to a better ‘us’ time with my husband because he will have all of me (not just the bit that’s not thinking about my list).  My home is meant to be my still point in a turning world and it’s time I fully embrace that.  The world…can…wait.  

Question: When was the last time you set aside a little ‘me’ time?  How did it feel?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Have you ever wondered if it’s possible for women in Hollywood, successful authors, ultra-successful businesswomen, etcetera, to also be happily married?  I certainly have.  I’m fairly certain I know the answer but I’d still love to find out.

Most often, when I interview happily married women and write about their lessons (aka secrets of their successful marriage) here, they are women you’ve never heard about.  Not because they aren’t successful in their own field of business or in maintaining their home, but mainly because it’s a large world out there with over 6 billion people.  

Chances are, the only people we all know (or at least feel as though we know), are the ones plastered on magazines everywhere we turn.  This got me to thinking.  Maybe it’s possible for us to shrink our world just a little bit.  

We’re a fabulous community of more than 100,000 members worldwide and I’d like to introduce you to some of the women you may have already seen on television or in the movies, but who are -more importantly- happily married with wonderful families.  

I reached out to a few yesterday by Twitter: actress Candace Cameron Bure, actress Meagan Good, reality television starlet Khloe Kardashian Odom, author Amy Tan, author Elizabeth Gilbert and author Gretchen Rubin.  And now, it’s your turn to tell me which ones you’d like to hear from.

Which actress on your favorite television show or movie is married (in real life)?  What author have you read about who seems to have an amazing family life?  Tell me and I’ll seek out an interview with them.  Yes, we know, everything that glitters isn’t always gold.  But every now and then, what glitters is actually gold so let’s interview them and find out.  

Some may say no, a few might say “I’m too busy,” but something tells me we’ll get alot more “yeses” than anything else.  So let’s go for it!

What I love about asking you this question is when I first began this Club, I interviewed women happily married 25 years or more and asked for their secrets to a great marriage.  I’ll be reviving that as a part of this series and posting their interviews, as well.  

So here’s one more question for you.  Would you prefer to watch the interviews (meaning, an interview via Skype), hear the interviews in a podcast format or read about them here?  Enter your answers in the comments section below and we’ll announce who will be our first interview shortly.  Excited!

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

JOIN US: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for?  Join the club!  It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Chocolate.  Pork.  Soybean products (including, but not limited to, soy milk, vegetable oil, margarine, tofu, shortening).  All gone.

It’s moments like these I’m reminded why I love being married to my best friend.

Yesterday, I had my long awaited appointment with an allergist.  During my travels around the globe, in search of the secrets to a happy marriage, I came away with many great secrets and one huge frustration.  Pimples.  Lots and lots of pimples.  

Months after returning to the States, the pimples simply would not go away.  Finally, I decided to go to the dermatologist for the first time in my life.  He recommended I see a nearby allergist.

Have you ever been to an allergist?  I went for the first time yesterday and let me tell you, it’s quite the experience!  The nurse numbered my left and right forearms, 1-through-20 on each side.  Then she proceeded to prick me with a small needle next to each number.  After waiting twenty minutes for results, I thought I was in the clear.  None of the places where she pricked became inflamed.

Then came the second round.  An entire tray of needles -much longer than the first round- were required to determine what food allergies I might have.

Alas, this time three of the areas where she gave me shots became inflamed.  And then the doctor came in to give the results.  No more chocolate (are you kidding me?), pork, or soybean products.  Have I ever told you I’m lactose intolerant?  Yep, just add that to the list of things I can’t have.  ”So what do I put in my drink at Starbucks?” I asked.  ”I suggest you carry around small cartons of rice milk in your purse.”  Sigh…

Before I even left the doctor’s office, I called Keith, “Honey, you will never believe what happened!”  After reading off to him the list the doctor gave me of all the things I should no longer eat (the soybean product list is pretty long), he paused and joked, “Well, at least I’m not allergic to wheat!  Then we’d never be able to eat together.”  Laughter ensued.

Learning at the age of 36 that you have to cut out more than two-thirds of the things you eat on a daily basis (including the non-dairy creamer I put in my coffee): difficult.  Having a husband who makes you laugh so hard about it you forget the diagnosis: priceless.

QUESTION: Have you experienced a time when you received bad news (even something as trivial as food allergies) and had your spirits picked up immediately with just one quick phone call to your husband?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

JOIN US: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for?  Join the club!  It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

When people meet me at events, they usually assume I’m an extrovert.  This has been a process.  When Keith and I first met, we’d attend events together (because of both of our jobs, we were required to attend quite a few), he’d start mingling and I’d find a corner in the room and hop on my Blackberry.  I wasn’t trying to be unsocial or unkind; I was just doing what came natural.

I’m an introvert by nature.  Meaning, I am refreshed and energized by being alone.  Downtime, quiet time and alone time are necessities in the life of an introvert.  The downside with being an introvert is it is often misinterpreted at events and parties for being aloof or arrogant.  I love people and never wanted people to confuse my discomfort at large events with not wanting to be around them.  So I’ve worked on that. 

Over the past ten years, since Keith (who is also an introvert, by the way) and I have been together, I’ve learned to be a gregarious introvert.  Meaning, I put my natural introversion on the back burner at events and mirror the strengths of an extrovert.  This learning has fixed one problem (people no longer get the false impression that I’m arrogant or aloof) but created another.  By the time I leave a dinner or cocktail party, I am absolutely exhausted.  It sucks the life right out of me.

There is, however, one type of party that gives me complete energy!  And that’s our weekly link up party.  Married bloggers from around the globe join us here to share their favorite posts from their own sites.  What I love most about our link up parties is I learn so much from and about all those who link up.  

Until now, our link up has been every Thursday.  But with the launch of the new Happy Wives Club site, we wanted to shake it up a bit and invite more to join us (including you) so we moved the day and changed the name.  So welcome to our very first Marriage Mondays.  I invite you to join the blog hopping party with me by clicking on the links below that look interesting to you.  Whether an introvert or extrovert, this kind of party is for everyone so enjoy!

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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This week has been quite a ride.  First, we rolled out a brand new site on our own server (which made us feel all grown up).  Then we partnered with some of our favorite sites on the web to offer one of the most amazing prize packages ever (make sure to go here to enter to win an all-expenses paid trip for you and your husband).

As I began writing today’s post, it dawned on me that so many of you are brand new to the site and may not know how we began.  First off, welcome.  Secondly, I’m so glad you’re here.  And thirdly, I’d love you to know the origin of this incredibly unique community.

Three years ago, I founded this Club as a counter to the onslaught of negativity surrounding marriage and wives as a whole.  With smash television hits like Desperate Housewives and the Real Housewives of…You Name It filling up the airwaves, wives were being turned into caricatures and marriage was beginning to look like a death sentence.  So I set out to change that perception and hoped to bring a million wives along for the ride

So far, more than 100,000 women have proclaimed, “I am a happy wife!” and I’m still on the search for more.  Not Stepford.  Not Desperate.  Just those of us madly in love with our hubbies.  By the way, if that describes you, please make sure to join the club!

What I love most about this community is being surrounded by like-minded women.  A friend of mine said it best, “Your club gives women permission to be happy.  To not have to apologize for a great husband or a wonderful marriage.”  

Here at the Happy Wives Club, we free you from having to “dumb it down” for the sake of those with negative opinions about life or marriage.  If women can sit around with their friends husband bashing and talking about all the ways marriage can go wrong, we should be able to do the same (on the opposite end of the spectrum).  So in this Club, we talk about our wonderful husbands and all the ways a marriage can go right.

So for those of you who are new to the Club, and for those who have been here a while, we welcome you.  We celebrate your marriage, we honor your family, and we are grateful for you.  

QUESTION: Have you joined the 1,000,000 member challenge?  If so, drop us a comment below and let us know you’ve joined the club!

Until Monday…make it a great day!

COMMENTS: With more than 99,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook Community page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation.

PLEASE VOTE: HWC was named one of the Top 5 Marriage Sites on the web by the readers of About.com and now we need your help to take the top spot!  Vote for Happy Wives Club today (it takes less than 30 seconds and would mean so much to us).