Author Archives: Carlie Kercheval

About Carlie Kercheval

Carlie Kercheval is a happily married stay-at-home homeschooling mom. She and her college sweetheart have been blessed with 3 precious children to raise while traveling the world as a military family. Carlie is the founder of Today's Frugal Mom™ and Managing Your Blessings. Carlie and her husband co-author the Learning to Speak Life™ family Bible studies and together they co-host the Learning to Speak Life™ Podcast. When she is not busy enjoying her family and the great outdoors, you can typically find her cozied up somewhere under a blanket with a good book.

4 Important Reasons To Smile At Your Husband Every Single Day

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I’ve been looking forward to sharing another article from Carlie Kercheval ever since she gave us this popular post on free and frugal ways celebrate our anniversaries (that’s been shared nearly 150,000 times)!

As a military wife and homeschooling mama of three, time is scarce. So that’s why I’m so grateful she’d take a moment out of her jam packed schedle to write this post for us.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Over the last 14-plus years of our marriage, I cannot think of a day that we were together that I didn’t smile at my husband.

To many, smiling is no big deal. But the truth is, it can make your husband feel loved, respected, empowered and desired. And I know for me, it is important that my husband feel all of those securities in our marriage (and more).

I remember the first time my husband made me laugh after our wedding. It was the first night of our honeymoon in Kaua’i. While he had made me laugh countless times prior to our first night as a married couple, something was just so fresh and new about it all.

I remember the smile on my face that night, full of love, respect, and desire for my new husband. And so does he. As a matter of fact he references it often. He tells me how he already knew I was the one he’d spend the rest of his life with, but that my smile that night somehow made it that much more concrete.

4 Reasons To Smile At Your Husband Every Single Day

1. Because you love him. It’s as simple as that. You love that man – and he loves you. What’s not to smile about? Even when you are going through a tough time in your marriage, don’t forget to smile at the one you vowed to spend the rest of your life with. It will help carry you through some of the roughest times with great joy and peace.

2. Because you want to empower him. In this popular Ted talk, the hidden power of smiling was revealed. Did you know that one smile can generate the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 bars of chocolate? ”Smiling can help reduce the level of stress-enhancing hormones like cortisol, adrenaline and dopamine, increase the level of mood-enhancing hormones like endorphin and reduce overall blood pressure.” Smiling is contagious so becoming a smile inducer for your husband unleashes all the health and life benefits that come from this powerful facial expression.

3. Because you respect him. I can’t think of another man on this earth that I respect more than my husband. I value him in a way that I didn’t think I could ever value another human being. I know for sure (because he’s told me) that when my husband is sharing his dreams with me or asking me to help him and I look at him and smile – he knows in his heart that I respect him as a man and as my husband. And that makes me happy!

4. Because you desire him. If you’ve spent any length of time here at The Happy Wives Club, you know that sexual intimacy is a large part of a happy marriage. And it should be. One of the wonderful blessings about being married to my best friend is the simple fact that I am also able to have physical and emotional intimacy with him! How awesome is that? And believe me, when your husband feels desired, it makes him excited to be an active part of your marriage!

YOUR TURN: How does your smile make your husband feel? I am excited to hear all about what a smile can do to brighten your husband’s day! Share with me in the comments below.

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THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book. I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way. It’s a marriage book line none other. Guaranteed.

3 Ways to Increase Spiritual Unity in Your Marriage

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Spirituality is something I don’t talk about often here.

A part of that is when I set out to create this community, I did so desiring for it to be a spring of hope for every woman no matter age, number of years married, religion, culture, background, or socio-economic status.

I’m so grateful, four years later, this continues to be a place women can come no matter their background or faith.

When I read this post by HWC contributor, Carlie Kercheval, I never thought twice about whether or not it would be well received. And I, too, believe that although your faith may be different from Carlie’s or mine, these principals are universal.

Staying spiritually connected in my marriage has been a bedrock. Our faith has carried us through a number of storms and we’ve come out on the other side stronger and wiser because of our faith in God and one another.

Although I cannot say this with absolute certainty, I’m fairly certain our marriage would not be this strong without our spiritual connection. Mind, body and spirit…we’ve stay connected on every level.

My guess is it is the same with you and this brief reminder to feed our collective souls will draw you closer to one another and will strengthen your faith.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Often times as married couples, we can get caught up in the physical and mental aspects of marriage – neglecting the spiritual side. For my husband and I, the spiritual side is just as important as the physical and mental. In the more than 13 years my husband and I have been married, we’ve always noticed a stark contrast in our marriage when we were neglecting to nurture our own spirit leading to lack of spiritual intimacy between each other.

My husband and I happen share the same faith, we are both Christians. We even met at a Bible study during our undergrad days at Washington State University (go Cougs!). While I realize not everyone reading this will share the same faith with us or their spouse, I believe the principles are universal.

1. Resolve to Pray For Your Spouse

Sometimes this can be a difficult thing to do when you are facing hard times. Sure, it’s easy to pray when things are going well, but it’s an entirely different story when things are not so easy-going. Resolving to pray for your spouse no matter the circumstance can help prevent future rough patches in your marriage.

2. Study Your Faith Together

This has been one part of our marriage that we have fought hard for. When we don’t read the Bible together, a distancing occurs. It occurs from a spiritual perspective first, and then translates into distancing both mentally and physically. However, we find that if we read our Bible and share our faith, it builds up and continues to grow our spiritual intimacy with one another.

3. Create Positive Confession Lists

For us, we do this often. We try to come together once a month and do some goal setting for our marriage, family, and personal lives. In keeping with setting our goals, we always want to choose positive words (for us primarily from the Bible) to speak life into our situation. We will print out our confession lists and hang them on our mirror, keep a copy in our vehicles, and any other handy place we see fit. This has worked out very well for us and helps our confidence in one another, God, our faith and our marriage. And it is an excellent way to see the powerful impact that positive words have!

While every couple has their own idea of what spiritual intimacy looks like, the important part is making it a priority in your marriage. Even if you and your spouse have different views on things, find a way to commune with one another on a spiritual level. It will bless your marriage and build a stronger foundation for it! Believe me, it works!

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5 Great Ways to Start and Replenish a Date Night Fund

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We’ve been talking alot about date nights (and date days ) in our HWC community recently and there’s a reason for that.

Dating your spouse isn’t just great for staying connected and taking time out for yourselves, it sets your friendship on fire!

HWC Contributor, Carlie Kercheval -whose post on free and frugal ways to celebrate your anniversary is among our most popular article…ever- is back to share a nifty little trick to make date nights affordable.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

__________

Do you have a date night fund?

We do.

We didn’t always have one, but after our first two years of marriage, we decided it was a necessary tool to keep our marriage thriving. I would encourage you to start one today if you haven’t already.

Being a single income family with three children - we are careful to make every penny count.

Sound familiar?

Well, guess what? I am going to share 5 ways my husband and I keep our date night fund afloat.

1. Every month choose one thing to cut back on. For instance, many people I know buy coffee at fancy coffee shops. Nothing wrong with it, but what if you decided NOT to do that for one whole month and save the difference? Bingo! You’d have money in your date night fund! No need to carry it over to each month (unless you want to). But one this is for sure, this will help you see more areas of excess that are robbing you of your precious date nights!

2. If you shop online, use Ebates. This has been our #1 source of date night funds for the last 5 years! Basically you sign up and find your favorite online retailers on the Ebates website. You will click on the Ebates link and start earning cash back for your purchases. Best. Site. Ever. Because you can save so much money already by buying online, this sweetens the pot. Go to the Ebates site and check it out!

3. Only buy what you need. Sounds simple enough, right? Well I can tell you this: I find most people don’t follow this rule. They tend to buy a lot of “little” things or things simply because they are on sale - but if you resist the urge to buy into the consumers trap - you will see a large increase in your monthly bank account. This will mean different things for different people, so figure out the ways you can make this happen in your particular situation.

4. Use coupons whenever possible and save the difference on one or more of your trips. For instance, we’ll go for a weekly shopping trip, use our coupons and how ever much we save, we’ll put that into the date night fund. To save time I use FREE sites like CouponMom.com that give you coupons and deals by area including weekly store sales at many retailers.

5. Dedicate a percentage of your monthly income to your date night fund. Even if you can only afford to save 1% of your income each month, it will add up. Nothing is too small. Start where you are at and work with what you have.

Date night is so important in your marriage, so be sure to invest what you are able to keep it going!

I pray this list can help inspire you to start your very own date night fund. And if you already have one, I hope it sparks new ideas to keep it going.

Be sure to check out my last post for more ideas: 25 Free & Frugal Ways To Celebrate Your Anniversary (can be used for creative date nights too!).

After reading these, there is no way you won’t be inspired to get out on a date with your man! Enjoy!

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25 Free & Frugal Ways To Celebrate Your Anniversary

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Earlier today, I received a note from Annalee, a military wife, wanting to know if we had any special ideas for military couples. You betcha!

Happy Wives Club contributor, Carlie Kercheval, is with us today sharing some of her best tips. But these ideas aren’t just for military couples, they are for all of us.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

_____________

As a military family, my husband and I have spent many wedding anniversaries apart.

But even when we weren’t with each other in person, we did our best to celebrate our wedding anniversary in creative ways to show one another how much we care.

Celebrating doesn’t just show the world that love and marriage still go hand in hand, it nourishes the love within you.

A few weeks ago, we celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary. Just one week after moving from Germany back to the United States, and fumbling our way through getting the family settled, we once again put our ingenuity to the test to make that day special.

Here are some of the things we’ve done over the years to commemorate the day we said I do. Try one, or two, or three – you’ll be glad you did!

25 Free & Frugal Ways to Celebrate Your Anniversary:

Write a love letter to your spouse. Spray it with your perfume or kiss it with your favorite lipstick. Here is an anniversary letter I published on my blog last year when my husband was serving in Afghanistan.
Blow up a balloon for each year of your marriage and put a piece of paper in each one with something nice about your spouse. My husband enjoys popping the balloons and reading what I have to say on each one.
Go out to breakfast instead of dinner. It is much lighter on the wallet and is a great way to start off your day.
Dress up and dance all night in your living room or bedroom.
Enjoy a quiet game night at home preparing your favorite snacks and beverages. If you feel like it, invite some friends to join in earlier in the evening, reserving the late evening for the two of you.
Make a special dinner with choice ingredients at home. Spice it up with candles and your favorite music playing softly in the background.
Go out to dessert instead of dinner. This is a great way to have time alone while going easy on the budget.
Bake an anniversary cake together. My husband and I bake together every chance we get and we use this time to test out our newest recipe ideas.
Record a video using your webcam or cell phone telling your spouse what you appreciate about them. My husband and I have done this several times during deployments and it is such a wonderful memento to keep!
Order takeout from a local restaurant and eat under the stars.
Go to a local wine tasting during the day.
Ride bikes at a favorite recreation spot. Our personal favorite is along the coastline near the ocean.
Make ice cream sundaes at home.
Take pictures of one another and make some fun collages for free at a site like Picmonkey.
Take a shower together. This is something that in the business of life many may not do. Not only is it fun, it is free.
Eat a picnic lunch at your favorite spot. We have done this at the beach, on a mountain, at a park, and even in the desert.
Learn how to say I love you and happy anniversary in several different languages. Once you learn this, show it off on your anniversary.
Play your favorite sport together. Don’t have a favorite, then learn a sport together – even better!
Paint or draw pictures of one another. Hey, you might not be an artist, but let me tell you, it will be a time of laughter and fun – that’s for sure!
Have a fun night of intimate games planned. Get a new special “outfit” for the occasion and enjoy one another.
Go bowling.
Go on a hike.
Go on a boat ride. If the food is expensive, just bring some of your own to share on the ride.
Read aloud a book to one another.
Have a dream night. Hubby and I have done this on several anniversaries. We just dream big together setting long and short term goals. We are both big dreamers so this is a wonderful thing for us to do.

This is your special day. Whatever you do, don’t allow financial challenges to get in the way of celebrating the wonderful union you share. Set aside the time and get creative!

QUESTION: What are some of your favorite ways to save money while celebrating your anniversary?

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