Advice for the Bride

By Fawn Weaver on Thursday, December 22, 2011

Earlier this week, Keith and I had the pleasure of attending our first Tuesday wedding.  Have you ever been to a mid-week wedding?  It was our first and we had an absolute blast (they even had cotton candy at the dessert bar).  

The bride is the daughter of a Happy Wives Club member I met last year when interviewing her for the Sage Wisdom column of this site (see interview here).  We discovered we lived only minutes from each other and instantly knew we were kindred spirits.  Our families have since become wonderful friends and we couldn’t have been more delighted to support this beautiful bride and her handsome husband at the start of their new journey.  

After returning from the wedding, I posted on our Facebook fan page and on Twitter the following question, “I attended a fantastic wedding last night. If given the opportunity to give your best piece of advice to a woman on her wedding day, summed up into one sentence or phrase, what would it be?”  

There were so many wonderful answers I wanted to share a few of them with you:

1. “Complete honesty, trust, respect and support by both of you.” -Paula Swanson

2. “Never let the sun go down on your anger.” -Janette Smith

3. “Never disrespect your husband. Never put him down to anyone, especially your children. Build him up and appreciate him.” -Eve Aguilar McNamee

4. “Remember that just because you CAN say something, doesn’t mean you should, and be generous with one another always in all ways.” -Barbara Brooks O’Rourke 

5. “You don’t have to be right. You can’t take back what comes out of your mouth, so guard your mouth. He will NEVER be perfect, it’s impossible, and neither can you, so don’t expect him to be.”-Annett Davis

6. “Don’t strive to be right all the time, because you can easily be right…by yourself.” -Twitter @KVuli

7. “Communication is key. Talking will save you from a lot of misunderstandings. Cold shoulders dont work!” -Twitter @TendayiKunaka

8. “You know each other aren’t perfect, but you are perfect for each other!! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!” -Heather Robinson

9. “Be grateful for everything your man does for you, and let go the things he doesn’t.  Great happiness can come from enjoying the blessings you get! And great sorrow comes from dwelling on the things you didn’t get.  Just enjoy every moment you have with him!” -Ginger McKinley

10. “Keep the fire burning. If you get distracted for too long there is always something to put out the flames.” - Kasey

Question: Which of the responses above were your favorite?  And if given the opportunity to give your best piece of advice to a woman on her wedding day, summed up into one sentence or phrase, what would it be?

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club
Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

 

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  • Fawn Weaver

    My best advice is what was given to Keith and I early in our marriage: Choose happiness. I would tell her this, "Every morning, wake up and determine it will be a great day, your marriage will be stronger, and your husband will be more loving. And you will find that day will turn out just as you determined it would. Happiness is a choice, so choose it." Okay, that was two sentences. I cheated :) .

  • http://christintheclouds.blogspot.com/ Ann

    Oh, boy! They are all very good advice. But numbers 1, 3, and 9 I felt to be my favorite. I also would add forgiveness! Being forgiving doesn't mean holding a grudge, waiting for the opportunity to get revenge, or keeping something in the memory bank to rehash when things aren't going well, It means letting it go and never bring it up again. That can be a hard one for women who are built to think differently than men. (remember women are like spaghetti(everything is connected) and men are like waffles(compartmental and separate). But forgiveness and letting go is vital! I also agree with you, Fawn! Attitude will make an enormous difference!

  • Fawn Weaver

    Thanks, Ann! I thought everyone gave such great advice too. And yours is So important. I'm surprised no one else said that but forgiveness is so, so important. Thank you for taking the time to comment and share your advice.

  • Paula Swanson

    I totally agree about attitude! My husband has been going through a very tough time lately with a number of issues and yesterday was a particularly hard day. I spoke with him at lunchtime and KNEW it was not such a hot day but I decided after haning up the phone that when I got home, I would just wrap my arms around him, give him a kiss, tell him I loved him, and then take special care of him all evening…giving him a massage, a glass of wine and keeping a smile on my face. It was so nice to see a hint or two of a smile on his face by the end of the night!

  • http://www.happywivesclub.com Fawn

    Paula, I can SO relate! My hubby had a similar day last week and I did exactly what you did. And I did it three nights in a row. By the weekend, he felt so much better and thanked me for taking such great care of him and being so supportive during a tough work week. It's such a blessing to know we can completely turn our husband's frowns and disappointments into smiles and encouragement. Thanks, Paula, for sharing!

  • Christy Joy

    I love number 3. Build your husband up. I was taught that of all the things your man, he needs to know that respect him. I try to build my husband up as much and as often as I can. I know this world beats us down and I want him to know that when he comes home he has a safe place to rest and restore. If I could for any advice it would be the same exact thing:-)❤

  • http://theemptynestexpress.com Ms. Kathleen

    How wonderful and I think week day weddings lend to longer honeymoons in many case. May I add my bit of advice — all were wonderful by the way – but my advice is NEVER, EVER use credit cards. Learn to live using cash and debit cards if at all possible. I'm a firm believer in Dave Ramsey's Debt Free Living… I'm getting there!

    God Bless and Merry Christmas!

  • http://www.encourageyourspouse.com Lori Ferguson

    My favorite is number 7 – She is SO right! "cold shoulders don't work"

    I think my advice would be: "Be kind."

    It's not flashy or exciting advice, but in this world, kindness is in short supply. Our spouse should at least receive it at home!

  • Fawn Weaver

    @Christy Joy- I feel the same way. The world beats down on us so much, having a safe place (our home) is so important. @Kathleen- I can't believe I didn't say that one! Finances cause the biggest strain in relationships and debt-free living is the way to go. Keith and I paid off all our debt (sans mortgages) using Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover a couple years ago. Now, we're using the snowball principle on our mortgages (we're real estate investors so we've got quite a few mortgages). I can't wait to have the mortgages paid off but even just becoming debt-free (sans mortgages) lifts a tremendous weight. It's such a blessing. Great advice!

  • Fawn Weaver

    @Lori- So important. Many of us underestimate the power of kindness. I'm happy you added this one. Thanks for taking the time to stop by and post a comment.

  • http://mybavarianlife.blogspot.com Marianne

    What great advice! I like number 8 and Ms. Kathleens comment about never using credit cards!! Talk about strain on a marriage!
    I think truly, unselfishly & wholeheartedly loving your spouse is the greatest gift you can give him.

  • http://www.happywivesclub.com Fawn

    @Marianne- Unselfish, unconditional love – isn't that just the greatest gift? Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment.

  • http://littlemommybigappetite.blogspot.com Little Mommy Kim

    I love this. Great collection of advice!

  • http://www.failuresneverfinal.com/blog/ Colleen

    My favorite is #4: Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. This is most appropriate with our words, but can also be applied to our actions. I felt a twinge of guilt in reading #3 because I don't always do this. I'm working on it! :-)

  • http://www.happywivesclub.com Fawn

    @Colleen- One of the things I love most about the advice people give on this site because it challenges me too. Thanks for taking the time to stop by and also for commenting. @OneMommy- Thanks!

  • http://www.thesefiveofmineplustwo.net Kasey

    I love #3…so key to loving on your man!!

  • http://solutions4marriageproblems.com/ Henny

    Really surprised with this post. It makes me stronger to face my days i this complicated marriage. yes, i hope i can be a great woman, mother, and also wife (at least).