Great Sexpectations

By Fawn Weaver on Monday, September 3, 2012

Keith has taken me away for my birthday and I won’t return from my surprise until later tonight.  I can’t wait to tell you all about it on Wednesday!  But today, we have a guest post by Arlene Pellicane, a speaker and the author of 31 Days to a Happy Husband.  You can visit Arlene’s website at www.ArlenePellicane.com.  I hope you enjoy today’s post and make it a great day!

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A few years ago, I read about a seven-day sex challenge where wives where challenged to make love to their husbands every day for one week.  The reason?  To deepen intimacy with one another and treasure your spouse in a special way.  I decided to give it a try.  My husband James and I had sex on Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.    By Wednesday, I just wanted to go to sleep!  But I only had three more days to complete my challenge and I love checking off boxes on my “to-do” list.   

James had not made any unusual comments about my experiment in romance.  Exhausted I said, “I’ve been doing this seven-day sex challenge.  Did you know?” 

He laughed and said, “I thought it was the new normal!”

Then it was my turn to laugh!

We as men and women have different expectations about sex, don’t we?  And each week is different.  Some weeks, you have time for wonderful romantic evenings.  Other weeks, minimum maintenance seems impossible.  Travel might take you away from each other.  You may have different expectations about frequency.  Getting on the same page sexually can be frustrating.  But keep this in mind: your sex life doesn’t have to be perfect.  You just have to be in the process of growing closer and closer sexually. 

Regarding frequency, I asked Dr. Cliff Penner who has been a sex therapist for more than 35 years and the bestselling author of The Gift of Sex.  He said,

There’s not a one size fits all solution.  But we have generally said the married life seems to work out best if couples have sex one to two times a week.  When couples come to us, they’re not usually that far apart.  The wife usually wants it one to two times, and the husband wants it two to three times per week.

Conversations about sex can be difficult but they are vital to the health of the marriage.  When you and your husband can talk freely about sex without the fear of being belittled or shut down, different expectations won’t wreck your lovelife.  You and your husband many enjoy something special that will even exceed your expectations!        

Question:  Can you talk freely about your expectations regarding sex with your husband?  Can he do the same with you? 

Comments: With more than 50,000 Happy Wives Club members already actively engaged on our Facebook page, what better place to share your thoughts? Join me there and let’s continue the conversation: Happy Wives Club Facebook 

 

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

 

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